Last night, the official lighting of the Olympic torch for the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics was disrupted by activists, who were protesting either torches, China’s human rights record, or both. This disruption follows several weeks of protests in the part of China called Tibet where many are upset over the fact that Tibet is in the part of China called Tibet, and not somewhere else. Depending on whether you ask the Chinese government or someone who isn’t lieing, anywhere from 30 to 130 people have already died there, a situation that probably won’t improve when the army is sent in to “crush” them.
Yes, that’s the Chinese state paper that said “crush” in reference to protesters, and no, I don’t know if the Chinese have a term for “faux pas.” Also, Holy Shit.
All of this has re-ignited the debate about whether, given China’s long history of human rights “whoopsies,” it was a smart idea to award the Olympics to Beijing in the first place, and whether it might be a good idea to boycott the games now. The idea being that any such boycott would in theory be of such embarrassment to China that they’d stop silencing/imprisoning/killing their citizens immediately, or at least feel really bad about it for awhile. And instead of watching the Olympics this August, the rest of the world would focus their attention on some other progressive and pro-human rights endeavor, unless Bono wanted to be involved, in which case we’d probably just do nothing.
One argument against such a boycott is that by doing so we’ll be punishing innocent athletes who have nothing to do with China’s adorable idiosyncrasies. I do sympathize with the athletes here; devoting years of your life towards the fucking discus must suck enough as is. Then to have your one chance at 15 seconds of lukewarm fame snatched away before you can even get your unnecessarily heavy disc out of its holster… well… that is legitimately heartbreaking. But let’s face it: in the grand scheme of things, the welfare of a billion Chinese is probably more important than the personal glory of a handful of athletes. Hell, the menu at Taco Bell probably has more bearing on the mental health and well-being of the world than the fate of some Olympic athletes.
Another argument against a boycott is that the Olympics shouldn’t be turned into a political tool. Yesterday, International Olympic Committee president Jacques Rogge announced that the IOC was not a political organization, and refused to allow the Olympics to become part of a political discussion on China’s human rights issues. That’s patently ridiculous of course, because in practically the same sentence he also said that he hoped that by awarding the Olympics to Beijing, the games would serve as a catalyst for change in China - an entirely political act. The idea that the Olympics should be political right up until the point that being political becomes politically inconvenient is perhaps the most political sentiment I’ve ever heard. Also, confusing.
Nevertheless, there doesn’t seem to be any serious danger of a boycott going forward, given that most of the arguments for one are coming from disheveled looking Tibetans, and most of the arguments against come from tie-wearing Olympic executives, who are often standing behind important looking podiums. Like most Cracked writers, my personal fashion sense can be broadly classified as “wartime refugee” so I similarly don’t expect my arguments to make much dent in the Olympic juggernaut. I just wanted to rap at you for a bit, and also take an unnecessary swing at Bono.
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Chris Bucholz is a writer and a robot. His personal blog, robotmantheblog.com contains a great deal of other humor articles, all of dubious quality and taste.
Last 5 posts by Chris Bucholz
- How To Train An Army of Animals To Do Your Bidding - November 18th, 2008
- Everything I need to know I learned from He-Man - November 11th, 2008
- Campaign 2008: The Year in Pictures - November 4th, 2008
- The Scouts are offering a Merit Badge in Boning - October 28th, 2008
- 10 Reasons Canadian Elections are better than your Elections - October 14th, 2008
August 12th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
I agreed that we should all boycott sports events, that take place in counties where the goverment ignore peoples rights. Lets all boycott the nba, nfl, nascar and what ever the fuck other sports that only americans give shit about, until the govement solve the problem of the 2000 cheating election, the arrested withou trial, and tortured prisioners at guantanamo, ad the FUCKING SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND CIVILIANS KILLED BY AMERICAN TROOPS IN IRAQ. I think that will solvet.
Another tip for Chris Bucholz, why don’t you boycott americans web sites like cracked as a message for the govement to respect human rights.
Also it makes perfect sense to out sorce bilions of dolars on serivice, and by bilions of dolars in products from China, and then boycott the olympics as a punishiment, lets face it, we gotta draw a line some where.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
If you touch Bono you urine turns blue!
April 12th, 2008 at 4:47 am
We should totally put the Olympics in the Darfur in 2010. Then in Baghdad in 2012.
April 8th, 2008 at 8:00 am
[...] I’ve talked about the Olympic protests before and could probably run a regular feature here recounting the various indignities the Olympic torch is bound to suffer over the coming months. Which would grow quickly monotonous were it not for little details like this: During this disastrous torch relay, French officials had arranged for 100 cops on roller blades to serve as an honor guard for the torch bearer. [...]
March 28th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Jackson is right! There is nothing worse than watching people go around a stupid track. NASCAR is almost as bad, but at least it’s way faster and there are crashes. When’s the last time people exploded after running into each other? It’s been so long I can’t even remember.
March 27th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Y’know what the most persuasive argument for an Olympic boycott is? THEY”RE FUCKING BORING. Christ I hate the damn Olympics…every 4 friggin’ years they knock awesome TV shows out of their prime spots and I get a buttload of boring non-sports (like running) and bullshit fairweather patriotism shoved down my throat. I hope China explodes.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:01 am
The public in China has a so extremely different view on the situation than people outside the country. Most of the PRC citizens are victims of the propaganda they see everyday. As a result of this unhealthy nationalism, “human rights” as a concept is seen in China more and more as a “cover up” for other interests. This paranoia by the Chinese public is very dangerous for a dialogue on reforms in the country. The Olympic games boycott is a similar problem. See http://newphilosophy.wordpress.com/2008/03/26/why-an-olympia-boycott-is-bad-for-human-rights-in-china/
March 26th, 2008 at 6:23 am
Of course there will be no boycott, because the Western nations are a bunch of pansies with no balls and can’t even stand up to a very big Third-World country that makes all their stuff on the cheap and provides a great place for expatriates to get laid with plentiful hookers and garden-variety golddiggers. Who’s gonna boycott that?
March 26th, 2008 at 4:21 am
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
That was hilarious squarsquare. Screw punny, you’re anagramunny!
March 26th, 2008 at 3:36 am
it is no accident that Bono’s letters can be rearanged to form Boon. Cause he is a boon to human rights everywhere!
March 25th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
Ya, we should boycott the Beijing Olympics because of China’s Human right violations. Just like we did when the Olympics were in Germany and Hitler was taking over Europe/Killing all those je…. Oh, wait. We didn’t? That’s right, instead of telling Hitler it was wrong to kill people based on bloodline, we decided it would look much cooler to have a black guy kick his ass in front of the whole world. I mean, that black guy winning totally stopped the carnage that was to come in the form of Worl…. Huh!? You mean tens of millions of people died anyway, wow. It’s almost as if the Olympics have no power at all to change any crazy-ass dictator’s mind… fancy that.
March 25th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
The last time the USA boycotted the Olympics it worked out really well. The Russians just packed their shit up and pulled right out of Afghanistan.
What? ,oh, I’m sorry I’m being informed that they stayed right right where they were and didn’t leave until 1989 and not until we sent the Mujahideen a buttload of Stinger missiles to get the fucking communists on their way.
March 25th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
The caption under Bonos picture should have been ‘Yeehah potatoes’.
Also, what is the sound of one hand claptering?
March 25th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
There is another reason that athletes would suffer greatly if they did not compete in the Olympics. For a great many Olympic events, the athletes only have a very narrow window in their lives in which they can compete. That means that missing one Olympics could mean never going to another one–and if you train your ass off to perfect your skills, you damned well are not planning on missing your only chance to use them!
March 25th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
Hannah Montana was Chairman Mao’s adviser.
Like, Mao, Tibet belongs to us, we should like, totally cleanse it you know?
March 25th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I blame Hannah Montana.
March 25th, 2008 at 3:41 pm
china schmina.
March 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
My crowning achievement at high school Sports Days was coming up with excuses not to participate for four years in a row, so I’m not overly fussed about the whole athletics thing. But I think if China are willing to shoot protestors and crush whole regions live on the world media stage, they aren’t gonna bat an eyelid at a boycott. These guys are pretty much untouchable at the moment, and they fucking know it.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:58 am
I stopped caring about the Olympics when it stopped being about amateur athletics. Pro NBA players, NHL players, so on, so on…
March 25th, 2008 at 11:55 am
I would agree with the earlier point that it is too late. You think the protestors would have started a bit earlier, when all of the millions of foreign dollars were flowing in for construction and you know, helping to aid the Chinese economy.
Vancouver is two years from now, and Olympic construction has been basically all I have been working on lately. So yah, kinda late guys.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:38 am
yes, it’d be nice if everybody boycotted Beijing, but I think a lot of athletes will compete anyway because there’s money involved. If you only got paid, what 10?, times a year would you choose to not compete and get money? Not all athletes have high-paying sponsors.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:34 am
I say go to Beijing. The poor Chinese have been working hard to “crush” many things. Public spitting is down as is the female population. That doesn’t sound like my kind of party, but I think most athletes that continued on in track and field events post college are down with the sausage fest that is China. Other things on China’s crush list: the environment, the disabled, religion…
March 25th, 2008 at 11:13 am
I like how a guy who goes by the name “Robotman” manages to sneak political discourse into a humour blog.
March 25th, 2008 at 11:09 am
I am boycotting because I despise exercise in all of it’s forms.
March 25th, 2008 at 10:43 am
chris, i totally agree. how hypocrite can these IOC-members be. the idea that the olympics are non-political is ridiculous. China sure didn’t lobby to get them because they like marathon-running or discus-throwing that much.
I say boycot, though i do feel sorry for the athletes, who did not have a say in the whole location-chosing circus, but are now going to be the victims of it: they will be forced to either make a statement, and be punished for it by China, or remain silent and be called cowards.
i guess it’s to late to chose a new location (or just spread it out over the world: marathon in one country, swimming in another etc.)
on a entirely different note i think i should remind everyone that some athletes are already ‘boycotting’ the games. they don’t want to expose their precious lungs to Beijing smog.
March 25th, 2008 at 10:15 am
Swings at Bono are always necessary.
On a more related note, I think the idea that the Olympics shouldn’t be a political tool are ridiculous. They have always been a tool of nationalism and fostering global unity or whatever. The Olympics shouldn’t have been given to Beijing, and I think a boycott would send a fairly clear message. Though I’m a dirty hippie sooooooo….
March 25th, 2008 at 8:53 am
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=12173437037
March 25th, 2008 at 8:27 am
I say we award Pyongyang the Olympics in 2016. I want to see how world-class athletes compete under the creepiest possible conditions.