I haven’t been posting much lately, and as recompense, I’ve decided to share with you one of comedy’s deep, dark secrets. This is highly classified comedic intel, known only to Cracked bloggers, Carrot Top and that guy that reveals magician’s secrets (he snuck into a meeting once). The other bloggers will probably shove me into the drier again for this, but I’m kind of getting used to it, and I tossed some Oreos in there in anticipation, so I think I’ll be good.
The secret is this: We only have five jokes. That’s it. We dress them up, add or subtract zombies or vaginas wherever we see fit, but at the end of the day, the six active Cracked columnists could count the number of different jokes we know on our penises, and we’d still have Brockway’s penis left over. Of course, it could be argued that Brockway’s penis is itself a strange kind of joke, but it’s not really funny “ha ha,” if you know what I mean.
That’s why most comedy writers are so insecure. Just as Joseph Campbell boiled n95 percent of storytelling down to seven or eight basic plots, we’re worried that someday, someone will pull aside the curtain and reveal Oz to be little more than an organ-grinding monkey wearing plastic hillbilly teeth.
Well, I won’t be that betrayer. I’m not about to enumerate the several joke archetypes upon which all humor is founded, but I will tell you one of them: failure. Watching someone fail at something, or undergo misfortune, makes us feel better about our own shitty lives, and that’s something we humans find hilarious. The Germans call it “schadenfreude,” and it roughly means “child hits father in balls with football while Bob Saget narrates.”
That’s a sobering thought for comedians, because it means that no matter how much we polish up our jokes; no matter how precisely we deploy the word “nuggets” or how many parallels we can draw between Sarah Jessica Parker and a moldy beet, a video of a moron failing at something will almost always be funnier.
Which in turn explains why so many of us end up using “fake failure” in our comedy. Count off your favorite comedic characters (Homer Simpson, Borat, Michael Scott) and you’ll find that one thing they all have in common is being pathetic failures. But just when we think we’ve cornered the market on pathetic, along comes a true artist, a group dedicated to proving to all us would-be failures that succeeding to fail will NEVER be as funny as failing to succeed.
Watch, and wonder.
SIDE NOTE: that video not only illuminated the very essence of the comedic failure/success enigma, it also unwittingly mastered every other known form of joke, invented three new ones and caused the Marx Brothers to come back to life (although being interred in coffins, they quickly suffocated again).
Call me a deserter, but based on the existence of this video, I’m ready to predict that these young men commandeer and dominate all forms of comedy sometime in the next decade. Sorry my fellow comedians, but we had a good run. You just can’t compete with that. His PANTS WERE ON FIRE. And did you see the end? DID YOU SEE THE END?!
To see more of what these totally not gay guys have to offer, check out their fabulous homepage at whatthebob.com. For proof of the limitless entertainment possibilities found therein, look no further than this blurb on their front page:
“How did we come up with the name What the Bob? In December 2004 we wanted to make a web site so we were thinking of some names and we came up with What the Bob.”
I’m rofling so hard right now the fact that I can type a sentence is no small miracle. My choice is clear: I can either stand by my brethren, squelch this video and work tirelessly to pioneer and perfect exciting new forms of humor, or I can bow down to the “I’m On a Couch” phenomenon and sell out my craft for 15 minutes of fame as the guy who brought it to the attention of the world at large.
Judging by the fact that you just watched the video, I think you know which path I’ve chosen. This monotone, incoherent video has corrupted me with the sheer power of its viral memetic potential. It’s like someone marinated the One Ring in Midi-chlorians: I am powerless to resist (also invisible). Lead, O glorious video, and I, your humble servant and first disciple, shall follow.
4chan’s taken meme credit for too long, Crackedheads. Let’s get on this shit. I want to see remixes, Photoshops, t-shirt designs. I want this Dugg, Farked, YTMNDed and drunkenly tattooed. I want the “I’m On a Couch” boys to make “David After Dentist” look like “David Reads Quietly.”
The Johnstones have started the ball rolling, but it’s up to us to get this amazing video from a paltry 2,000 views to an astronomical 3,400. I will settle for nothing less.
Make me proud.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 27th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Internet, Memes, Stuff That's The Best, The Lonely Island, Videos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 3rd, 2009 at 9:38 pm
All my brain are belong to Swaim
November 2nd, 2009 at 4:37 am
I was unable to even crack a smile when one of them was on fire. I guess the joke is on me.
October 26th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Why do you give a shit that there are “comedians” out there who are worse than you? Also, more importantly, who’s the hot one (the bloke that’s not you) in the T.A.M Future House sketch? Good luck with your comic vigilantism you strange little man.
October 19th, 2009 at 11:44 am
OK, it’s hit 156,000 views! One hundred and fifty six THOUSAND! Now compare that to their other vids, the 2nd highest has only 7586 views. Therefore it’s not from them that the traffic’s coming, but most likely from here…
October 18th, 2009 at 7:00 pm
absolute twaddle, those guys all need to die. by the way i listened to like 5 sec. of the video stopped, it read further, saw u say look at the end, and immediately fast forwarded to it. anyone foolish enough to watch the whole thing probably now has cancer. good stuff swaim
October 16th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Swaim, I want to make sweet, passionate love to you.
October 12th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Fuck you Swaim for directing anyone to the whatthebob site… oh it hurt so bad… why must I click EVERY link in a post?
October 1st, 2009 at 6:10 pm
I cant tell if he’s serious or not! lol
September 25th, 2009 at 9:28 am
wots a couch?
September 21st, 2009 at 1:33 pm
wots a 4chon?
September 19th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
I really enjoy their note to swaim on the video. It makes me laugh even harder because they obviously don’t realize that the joke is that their video is terrible at being terrible.
September 17th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
THE reason that writing and music now suckszzzz. WHY? Why would anyone waste ten seconds from scratching their own backside to make the above?
Funny has changed. The way that music has changed. Be a Internet Comic and sell your garage band tunes. I see nothing here but facist lil hitlters in our future. Thanks to Moms and Dads telling their idiot, inbred children that they too deserve to live and breath and if they cant earn it steal it.
September 16th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Man, they DO suck. I’ll give you that.
Sadly it’s still funnier than your posts. Not a whole lot, granted. But not quite as tiresome as your rants.
September 16th, 2009 at 11:39 am
This has even got its own YMTND page now! SWAIM, you have started a meme larger than the average 4chan one. Congratulations!
September 12th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
I want those minutes of my life back =P
September 9th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUY-We6oCNo
this i’m on a boat parody is way worse!
September 7th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
horrible video. Good stuff with him catching on fire though. Only thing hes got goin for him.
August 30th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Well, I think you have four new *not gay friends judging by their comment. It was obviously a joke, with the German and the Canadian singing it. Those Canadians, you have to watch out for those guys.
But yea, I kinda forgot what the point of this comment was. Funny article though, gotta love that pant-on-fire action.
August 27th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
these bastards killed Ted Kennedy. I’ll pack up my inkblot mask, fedora and trenchcoat and then dish out street justice. EVIL MUST BE PUNISHED
August 14th, 2009 at 4:39 am
I like how this is still going 3 months later…
August 12th, 2009 at 7:44 am
…Ffffuuu. Did anyone else dare to watch their Lady Gaga ‘Poker Face’ / Flavor-ice parody?
I swear to fucking god, it turned me gay.
August 6th, 2009 at 4:20 am
…………………………………Alright, i….you…i, mean…..
Holy Fucking Shit what the Hell was that!? Im honeslty at a loss for words. Albeit at first the video was somewhat amuzing, but as with any You Tube original video, annoying.
I watched that “remix” and that about takes the cake. im fucking done. What people need nowadays are FRIENDS! See Friends prevent you from doing shit thats blatently retarded…Unless of course your the brunt of the joke, then by all means embarrass the hell out of yourself…but if these kids had true friends, someone might step in and say…hmm, ive seen a lot of MTV Movies, or at least SCY-FY (thats the Sci- Fi channel, they changed their name to conform with society) so i have a pretty good idea of how to make an at home video look semi decent. FFS lets try a little people.
Screw it, im taking the SWAIM approach. im going to sit on my ass and record myself at work. typing…thats it…just typing. if some mother FU@#4325%#$ can make a video like THAT (the latter), and someone thinks its funny then i should be able to get away with hunting down joggers as a sport!
July 31st, 2009 at 7:26 pm
“4chan’s taken meme credit for too long, Crackedheads. Let’s get on this shit. I want to see remixes, Photoshops, t-shirt designs. I want this Dugg, Farked, YTMNDed and drunkenly tattooed. I want the “I’m On a Couch” boys to make “David After Dentist” look like “David Reads Quietly.””
Forced meme is forced. But, yeah, the video is kinda funny.
July 28th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
dammit swaim come back! please dont be the next Ross Wolinksy. Oh god……..please dont tell me your retiring
July 28th, 2009 at 11:34 am
that was funny
July 27th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I think there’s a reason why you haven’t been writing lately.
And it should keep up.
I feel like I was rickrolled by someone who can’t sing.
At least Rick Atley has a sense of tone.
Ass.
July 26th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Come on Swaim, I know these guys are lame, but you’re better than this. It’s like picking a fight with a cancer patient, you don’t need to be a bully to be funny.
July 26th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
parody on “I’m on a boat” ?
and “what the bob” parody on “what the buck” all on youtube ^^
July 26th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
where is swaim is right its july 26 and i need my fix man im hurting bad im jonesin right now please come back to us where have you gone oh where have you gone
July 24th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
WhErE iS SwAiM?
July 24th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
hey 4 all we know they mitghve stuffed swaim in the dryer and left him there. 4 all we no he mite not even b readin these comments rite but swaim if ur readin this comment, plz make a new article or video ur the best columnist!
July 21st, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I’m thinking that they rate there own videos on how painful they are to watch.
July 20th, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Oh my F***ing God. I don’t know how much of the rest of the site you’ve gotten to look at, but it’s unbelievable. They have ratings for their videos (though clearly they just assigned numbers to the videos themselves based on how clever they think they are), and I’m On a Couch is a 9. I’m afraid if I watch a 7 or lower I’m going to start uncontrollably crying tears of blood.
July 20th, 2009 at 4:15 pm
Swaim, why did you have to bring these R-Tards to my attention? “I went to there site thinking, that’s just one video, it can’t all be that bad.” and it wasn’t, it was much, much, worse. What’s worse then the fact that they were really trying though, is the fact that some one who made this thought it was good.
July 10th, 2009 at 9:52 am
i feel like my brain was starting to melt
July 9th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I have to say my favourite columnists here are: Swaim, DOB and G-Stone. Think of those 3 sharing spot #1 and Brockway being the runner up.
That Being said Good Job Swaim, I had a feeling I was going to regret reading it but I don’t. Cracked is one of the best sites on the interwebs.
July 8th, 2009 at 8:32 am
swaim’s gonna blow up one of these days, i mean get famous
look at my short film “connish ways” on youtube, see if you like
July 6th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Wow, everyone misses Swaim. I’m pretty sure he’s just been to busy at Genius Camp to work on anything for Cracked…
July 5th, 2009 at 10:47 am
To be fair, the chick in the videos is do-able.
Other than that, I predict the world will plunge into a wasteland just like Mad Max, except instead of a desperate search for gas, there will be a desperate search to find something actually funny on Youtube
July 4th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
those kids will be the downfall of civilization
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:17 am
o yeah and i didn’t mean that in a bad way what i am trying to say is he needs to come back cause he makes the best articles and videos
July 3rd, 2009 at 9:15 am
man wheres swaim where ever he is he has to stop jerking off and needs to right some articles or shot videos or something
July 2nd, 2009 at 10:46 am
They repped you in the video swaim. You’re in the big leagues now.
June 30th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Hm… crackheads. has a nice ring to it… this has some serious potential. And the FIRST EVER* not-4chan meme.
*Will not actually be 1st ever, but sounds less impressive unless you say it is.
June 27th, 2009 at 5:05 pm
1st comment choke.
June 27th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
Where the heck are you swaim??? Why haven’t you made any new articles or videos? Are you depressed because you think none of your articles or videos aren’t as funny as that video? Because that video is retarded. Period. The only good part was when his pants set on fire. Please I want to see more of your work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are my favorite columnist (and DOB is too)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 25th, 2009 at 12:50 pm
If i hung out with Swaim, I would definitely call him ‘Swami’.
neathy from san diego
June 22nd, 2009 at 12:37 pm
where are you SWAIM!
June 20th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Their new video is funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Kxgc8z94s
June 19th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
That couch is armaggedon, And we are all on it. Also, please thank SWAIM for all your views douchbags. 90,000 yay!
June 19th, 2009 at 10:14 pm
It’s at over 90,000 views now I think
June 19th, 2009 at 1:40 am
Holy shit it appears as though the Jonas Brothers have made it out of the US. Please don’t be alarmed as we are taking precautions to rid the world of any possible look a likes.
June 18th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
They have a new video out lol its actually kinda funny
June 18th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
oh my god, the johnstones one was actually worse
June 18th, 2009 at 9:47 am
I actually started to cry after watching that video.
June 17th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
no more articles swaim?
June 17th, 2009 at 8:35 am
: D That song blows balls
You got swaim!
June 17th, 2009 at 8:33 am
I’ve just been through the google listings. Congratulations SWAIM, it’s OFFICIALLY a meme now!
(I mean, if eBaum’s ripped it off…)
June 16th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Almost 87,000 views.
We Win!
June 15th, 2009 at 8:10 am
I’M ONNA COUCH NIG!!!!!111!11!11ONELVEN
June 12th, 2009 at 6:08 pm
That was so bad I actually felt physically ill.
June 12th, 2009 at 3:46 am
The Funniest Comedic Failure in the History of YouTube | Cracked.com…
-…
June 11th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
85k plus views on that vid now. here’s to a job well done?
June 11th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Also, to those of you making fun of his acro-name, S.W.A.I.M. is way better than seanbaby. Go bash him.
June 11th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Try to ignore these fuckers, SWAIM. The article was good. The video and the song themselves just sucked. But then again, the title of the article was ‘The Funniest Comedic Failure in the History of YouTube,’ so that was expected, seeing as you yourself dubbed it as a failure. So I guess that means people here can’t read, seeing as they are all saying something along the lines of ‘that wasn’t good you suck’.
June 9th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
done…and done…sent to the many for the pain of the few.
June 9th, 2009 at 11:13 am
Ahahahaha the newest member of the whatthebob.com website is Michael Swaim!
June 9th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Even as a satirical review on a humor website, it wasn’t funny
June 9th, 2009 at 8:00 am
at the end of the day, YOU CAN’T FORCE A MEME!
the very fact that the phrase you can’t force a meme is actually a meme shows that they are naturally occuring things. When you try to force them people ignore them as pathetic attempts to inflate your own ego.
Wait till fox news say’s something retarded and then jump all over that shit in a subtle way.
June 5th, 2009 at 6:49 am
Hehe the vid is so bad that its good!
June 4th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
HA your such a dick! Awsome!
June 4th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
It’s interesting that your ‘comedy’ is worse than these guys’…
SWAIM - how long did it take you to come up with an acronym for that?
June 4th, 2009 at 4:47 am
/shrug
June 3rd, 2009 at 8:45 pm
I can honestly say that you have truly ruined these kids’ future in almost anything. Your dry humor and overall sarcastic humiliation of their video makes me soil myself in laughter. If these kids ever make another video we will see a sudden increase in suicidal death rates. on a scale of 1 to Gay…This video takes it in the ass
June 3rd, 2009 at 12:45 pm
ouch. Satire is one thing Swaim but this is just punishment.
June 3rd, 2009 at 8:48 am
OMFG ROFL
i read someone use “dongtacular” in one of their comments… pretty soon as the nature of the word was intended it will end up in the dictionary… definately a much better word than “grrrl”
June 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Hmmm….Parody songs of songs that weren’t serious in the first place, yeah that’s a goldmine of untapped humour right there:S
Yeah that was funny when he caught his nuts on fire, only funny thing that occurred though.
June 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 am
I don’t care about everyone’s opinions on this, its pretty fucking awesome that a bunch of people from small town Indiana are on Cracked. I used to go to high school with these guys and they are all actually pretty creative and good students.
June 1st, 2009 at 11:52 am
In reporting you to the UN, Swaim! this is torture!
May 31st, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Swaim, why are you giving these mental midgets the attention they so obviously crave? Every time someone reads this article because they like your work, they view this horrendous video, cranking up the view count, giving it’s short-bus riding creators the impression that they’ve accomplished something, even if the only thing they’ve accomplished is causing brain damage to everyone who’s seen the video. They’ve added a note to the video THANKING YOU for the article and explaining “the poor singing is intended to add to the humor” . They don’t get it- like all youtube posters they’ll just ignore the negative comments, and they are going to keep producing more of this shit BECAUSE YOU GAVE THEM AN AUDIENCE. With any luck, they’ll have a show on Comedy Central this fall. Good job, Swaim.
May 31st, 2009 at 8:15 am
Not enough staleness. Needs to inject more saltine cracker or something.
Retardo the Dancing Redneck further down at 10:04 PM…Carlos Mencia?
May 30th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
hmmm, yah, I have to agree - dongtacular … absolutely !
May 30th, 2009 at 5:07 am
It’s like everything you folks at cracked have worked towards was cast down with a single blow from What the Bob.
May 30th, 2009 at 3:53 am
it seems to me that the pic towards the bottom is the funniest thing i have ever seen. does anyone else think that swaim photoshopped both the cowboy hat and the shirt onto his body?
May 30th, 2009 at 1:47 am
Seen their list of videos?
I Love Dreamin (Asher Roth - “I Love College” P… 3,877 views
Wash Whatever You Like (T.I. Whatever You Like parody) 871 views
What You Know About Kats (cats) (T.I. What You Know Parody) 591 views
Shamwow commercial (parody) 439 views
Flavor Ice commercial 138 views
Audrey 100 Freestyle 120 views
Young Life Camp vs Batesville (Mac vs PC) - 1 92 views
Young Life Camp vs Batesville (Mac vs PC) - 2 74 views
Then this:
I’m on a Couch (The Lonely Island - “I’m on a Boat” parody spoof) 65,146 views
We’ve done them a favour…
May 29th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
21/m/Stockton looking for flabby, pasty, sweating butter, nerdy cracked readers to shove lubed up Starcraft Software CDs in my hard drives. Do you have “Expansion” pack :-). Will host.
May 29th, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Why would you do this to me, Michael Swaim? I trusted you with my comedy.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
“What I’m wondering is, why no cursing?”
They’re in a competition for popularity on Youtube - they offend people, it decreases their chance of winning. Also, no swearing means the video can happily go viral and the entire internet, from toddlers to pensioners, can jump on it saying it sucks…
May 29th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I count seven columnists…who’s “See All Posts”? Is he new?
May 29th, 2009 at 11:20 am
What I’m wondering is, why no cursing?
May 29th, 2009 at 9:01 am
types of cracked humor
-comparison
-failure
-vulgarity
-reference
-randomness
May 29th, 2009 at 8:58 am
I turned off Jane’s Addiction to listen to that dongtacular pile of tosswank.
Swaim I want my 2:33 back
May 29th, 2009 at 7:01 am
More meta than meta.
May 29th, 2009 at 6:35 am
We’re through the looking glass, people.
May 29th, 2009 at 5:09 am
THIS VIDEO IS PURE GOLD!!!
……..in a bizarro world where the definitions of manure, gold and comedy have all been reversed.
May 29th, 2009 at 3:56 am
“Why do you faggot homosexuals read this shit?”… erm…
——————-|^——|^
May 29th, 2009 at 2:20 am
I think the saddest thing is that they’ve been at this for about five years now.
Five years of practice and this audio-visual monument to SUCK! is the best they could make.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
Fuck your momma’s asshole!
if you think thats funny there’s something seriously wrong with you
May 28th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
This is fucking gayer than San Francisco. Why do you faggot homosexuals read this shit? Cracked isn’t as funny as Klepto Carlos Mencia or Dumbass Dane Cook. Fuck your momma’s asshole!
May 28th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
So I almost didn’t read the article but I did- and I was like this kinda sucks. And I almost didn’t watch the video but something was compelling me- and I was like this really sucks. And I almost didn’t click on their website but again this mysterious force made me- and I was l like this really sucks.
BUT THEN THE MYSTERIOUS FORCE REVEALED ITSELF ON THESE COMMENTS……… and it was Bob_Dylan telling me to check out their forums!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew there was gold at the end of this god-awfully horrible rainbow!!!!
May 28th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
[...] spoofs of I’m on a Boat that you’ll find. (not counting the couch one that Cracked.com already ran into the ground, but that one is pretty [...]
May 28th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
When they said “Believe me when I say, we’re not gay!”
I was like “don’t lie to me”
May 28th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I’m pretty sure the Johnstones came up with the vid before they saw the one posted on here, but there’s is pretty funny.
May 28th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
wtf… the fucking johnstones? i live down the street from those guys, i went to high school with them for fuck sakes and now they’re on cracked.. i’m either high.. or not high enough. i need to go smoke a bowl…
May 28th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
“It’s like someone marinated the one ring in Midi-chlorians.” I have read almost all of Swaims’s columns and I thought, “you’ve made the Attack of the Clones of candies.” was the best modern starwars reference I’d heard ever, but that really takes the imaginary cake. Brilliant!
Oh and if that guy really is a Canadian he’s never allowed back home…ever. He is banned from Canada.
May 28th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/realise
May 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
Someone better tell Evan that subtle differences between American and British English…
May 28th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
The true diamond that is What the Bob is there series of flawlessly Photoshopped “Funny Pics.” http://whatthebob.com/funnypics/index.html
May 28th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
EVAN I LOVE YOU. THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Oh dear God, those are two minutes and thirty three seconds that I will never get back. Ever.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
Harold J whittiker, you probably are retarded. You spelled realize with an “s”. If you want to bash things i’d learn to spell you mother fucking animal rapist retard
May 28th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
After watching the video, it still took me two paragraphs to realise the author was joking.
This made me think I was slow until I saw that a lot of you retards continued thinking he was serious right up to the point of you posting a comment.
I hope you now realise he was joking.
May 28th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Pretty lame
May 28th, 2009 at 10:35 am
This is a video title fail. As well as a funny article fail. dont subject me to a 2 and a half minute video to see a 1 second clip of a kid bumping into a couch. not funny dude, not funny in the slightest.
May 28th, 2009 at 10:21 am
if you say it is a meme, a meme it will never be.
this article is lame, making fun of stupid people on youtube just isn’t funny anymore.
youtube is over saturated with intellectual degeneration so videos like this are nothing new or even that funny.
why is cracked getting so fucking boring?
May 28th, 2009 at 8:27 am
Rule 44: The internet is not your personal army.
May 28th, 2009 at 8:26 am
John Says:
May 27th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
They are retarded…On one of their videos (the Wash watever you like one) a girl said one of the guys was cute…the poster of the video replied with:
“His number is 513-309-4113. Call him or text him.”
Retardedness confirmed.
PS: The girl that posted the cute comment’s youtube name was GoldenSoftBallGirl6 so pretend you’re her when you call haha.
————————————————————————————
Well John, I have gotten phone calls none of which acting like they are that girl all of them saying that our shit was dope. And at least I’m doing something. What have you done in your life? Sit on your fat ass, get fatter and look at women like they are meat cause you’ve never had a girlfriend? I’m right? o yeah i thought so. Go shove it up your ass
May 28th, 2009 at 8:07 am
no thanks
May 28th, 2009 at 7:19 am
After reading the article I chuckled at the irony. He just disproved the belief that failure is always funny.
He made a really bad article(Fail) about a really bad spoof,(double fail) spoofing another really bad spoof(triple fail) spoofing rap, which is in my opinion also a fail so this article has 4 failures.
I bet the rap song that inspired it was bad by rap standards, and it was making fun of some other failure, that was in turn caused by someone elses failure.
So lets just say this article deca-failed.
May 28th, 2009 at 7:00 am
I went to high school with these fuckers. and they are rich bitches, and religious zealots from CANADA.
May 28th, 2009 at 5:40 am
The whatthebob site consciously tries to “keep it clean”. WTF? What the hell kind of kids are these? Where are they from? Where is the angst? Where is the gratuitous profanity? I’m not fooled by your nice act, you rotten little fuckers!
May 28th, 2009 at 4:44 am
Whoa! How did they improve on “I’m on a Boat”?
They truly are comedic genii!
That’s the plural form of genie not genius, because the video is magic!
May 28th, 2009 at 4:06 am
Didn’t really do anything for me.
May 28th, 2009 at 3:54 am
Wow, thats just too funyn dude. Well done!
RT
http://www.whos-watching.mirrorz.com
May 28th, 2009 at 3:19 am
“WAHHHH! MICHAEL SWAIM…..WE DON’T WANT NEGATIVITY ON OUR VIDEOS. THEY’RE MEANT TO BE FUNNY! WHY MUST YOU BE SO MEAN….I THINK I’M BLEEDING OUT OF MY VAGINE NOW!”
YOUR FRIENDS,
“REALLY FUNNY” COMEDY TROUPES
Bravo, Mr. Swaim for the article. I think it is required to tell people that they ain’t funny. If you’re gonna put your “comedy” out there, prepare to be thrown vegetables at…especially if their stupid. And their videos are indeed stupid.
May 28th, 2009 at 2:50 am
I cannot get over how much of a dick Swaim looks like in that cowboy hat picture.
But I will admit, that alone made me read this article.
May 28th, 2009 at 2:44 am
this is totally my kind of bullshit! There’s nothing like total failure to brighten my miserable world! That video was like failure to the power of maximum…final proof that failing to fail doesn’t = success, but it does equal cool burning pants.
And I say again that “the allan harper chronicles” was by far the funniest entry on last weeks shop contest.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:54 am
At least these guys really had fun doing this video.
May 28th, 2009 at 1:16 am
I just did the smelliest fart. You really had to be here to experience it but it’s probably better you didn’t.
Oh and good article Swaim. You look retarted in that last picture though…
May 28th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Your an intelligent man Swaim…so this article…the only thing I can really make from it, is that your pretty much pointing out how these guys have failed and trying to fail in attempt to be funny. Failing may be funny…but they fail at failing. And by single handidly getting hundreds of people to comment how bad this was, i think you’ve earned your own personal little victory.
May 28th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Joseph Campbell actually boiled it down to one plot, it goes like “the hero gets dragged into something, meets every type of person, discovers something useful, goes back to normal.”
May 27th, 2009 at 11:33 pm
this article was dongtacular
May 27th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
Poop
May 27th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
Richard Gryspeerdt Says:
“and as for my website i made it when i was in 4th grade. i guess if you wanna hate on it thats cool but seriously what were you doing it 4th grade?”
Um, a website isn’t set in stone like the ashtray you made for your mother that was supposed to be a clam shell but turned out lloking more like a crusty dishrag. It is possible to make changes to it over the years. You should spend your time doing that instead of making excuses to a cold and unfeeling internet.
Swaim? Excellent job! As usual, it made me fall a little bit more in hyperbolic love with you.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
‘I’m On A Boat’ has been around for a while…
I hope their next hit is ‘I’m On an MMORPG.’
May 27th, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Holy shit Swaim?!?!?!? Did you swallow a urinal cake or something? I swear to Christ that I felt as if I was reading a Charles Manson article. Now I know LSD and weed is cool!
May 27th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
Just a suggestion, Swaim…as long as you’re on a foreign weirdness kick (which I totally endorse) why not delve into the crazy rolling around unibrow talkshow guy or at least the closet homo hamburger kicker! This couch burning stuff is weak, as much as I hate to say it. Go for the real weirdos, that’s where you shine.
I respect the time you and all comedy writer types put into your craft. Regardless of opinion, you guys are as much a public service as the police or the balloon guys.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
I’m only checking, so feel entirely free to ridicule me if this is a stupid question… but Swaim, you ARE aware this whole couch phenom is based on the song by The Lonely Island- I’m On a Boat.
I wouldn’t ask, but you seemed so excited about this couch thing. I’d hate for you to find out after buying a “Mother Freakin’ Couch!” t-shirt, and be all embarrassed.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
This would be funny if it weren’t a parody. If the video weren’t already spoofing a spoof, I can see it being worth a little ironic chuckle. As it were, the original “I’m on a boat” had (precious little) comedic value as an accurate portrayal of hip-hop today: all catchy, simplistic lyrics and a beat you can move to. Music for people who don’t really like music.
“I’m on a couch” tries to parody the ridiculousness found in the lyrical content of “I’m on a boat”, but lacks what the essential subtlety which makes the original almost passable as the real deal, unless you actually listen closely.
In this case, two negatives don’t make a positive. Trying to introduce irony to something already ironic just ends up being stupid.
I can appreciate the fact that these guys are douchebags who will only relish the attention garnered from the exposure this article will generate, but really, why encourage them and any other unfunny motherfucker who will see this and say “Hey! We’re terrible at comedy too, maybe we can get famous at it!”
Swaim, I love everything you write, and like where you were going with this article, but try to find an actually decent sleeper YouTube video to make us all clamour over.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:24 pm
OMFG STFU Michael LAME! You poke fun fun but this is WAY funnier than your suxor TAM videos. Insightful-and-relevant humor < burning couch, n00b.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
popurls.com // popular today…
story has entered the popular today section on popurls.com…
May 27th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
@thatwhichgropes:
Milhouse IS NOT a meme.
Milhouse is not a meme is a meme.
May 27th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
kingrichard@whatthebob.com
email me!
May 27th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
Unfortunately i read “Failure” as plural
May 27th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
This is seriously entertaining how people think they are hurting my feelings or whatever. Its funny to read all these comments. Seriously think about it, people saying how much it sucks and stuff. They have nothing better to do with their life than hate on stuff like this on the internet. They are telling me to get a life and but in reality they need to get one. If you really have nothing better to do then say how this video sucks then keep it coming. Its seriously funny to me
May 27th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
What’s wrong with what DW said?
Honestly, people just go out of their way to try to make a person miserable nowadays. Why can’t you leave the guy alone?
May 27th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Travis, it’s their job to sita round looking for random videos some kids made with their friends as a joke.
Loved the article.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:12 pm
WTF is so funny in having a Canadian sing it??? seriously, that’s bullshit because we sound exactly like americans, in fact, most people who speak english sound generic so go fuck yourselves if you think that using a Canadian is funny for the reasons you’ve stated. that’s just plain retarded.
Bucholz is Canadian and he isn’t less funny than anyone but not because his voice or some lame reason of the sort.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
you guys have nothing better to do than sit around and look for some random videos some kids made with their friends as a joke? really?
May 27th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
@jesus
Repeating something you read on the internet makes you retarded. Go save some Jews and get yourself killed.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:32 pm
the marx brothers!!! LoL!!
what a comic
May 27th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
I’m on a couch, I’m on a couch, bein’ a start-up meme like Milhouse. What-whaaaat?
May 27th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
I commented saying it was obviously a parody of wannabe YouTube parodies.
They deleted it.
They left comments making fun of them, but deleted that.
Congratulations, y’all have been trolled.
May 27th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
The number on one of the other videos was 1-513-746-0089…
May 27th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
They are retarded…On one of their videos (the Wash watever you like one) a girl said one of the guys was cute…the poster of the video replied with:
“His number is 513-309-4113. Call him or text him.”
Retardedness confirmed.
PS: The girl that posted the cute comment’s youtube name was GoldenSoftBallGirl6 so pretend you’re her when you call haha.
May 27th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
fighting on the internet is like running in the special olympics, even if you win, your still retarded.
May 27th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
@ Darth Waste:
A comic book artist? REALLY? WOW THAT’S SO COOL, KINDA LIKE CHRIS-CHAN AND HIS ‘SONICHU’ SERIES, YOU’RE PROBABLY AS COOL AS HE IS. CHECK OUT SOME OF HIS STUFF, I THINK YOU CAN GET SOME INSPIRATION FROM IT MAN!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVmyW9stnYs
May 27th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
They stupidly posted their emails on their site and I think I might have found their ‘phone number listed there as well (although I may be mistaken)…
May 27th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Swaim was being sarcastic. Deal with that bombshell, people, and move on.
Great article BTW.
May 27th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
if I’m a couch is a meme Milhouse is an ancient Babylonian God.
May 27th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
@mythicfox: I suspected that at first, but I think the sheer volume of work on their home site shows that they’re either in it to win it, or are poseurs of Kaufman-level dedication. I choose to believe the former.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
I’m disappointed. The caption thing they’ve put up since this article first went up has confirmed that this is some Tim and Eric intentional failure bullshit. What have you done, Swaim?
May 27th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
S.W.A.I.M. strikes again. Although judging by the guy’s responses to our hate on YouTube, we may have broken his heart.
I just hope that fire didn’t damage his……..righteous gams.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:32 pm
@ DW
Sure, in the same a piece of iron ore can become many things, instead that in this case, you have the piece of iron ore, and you are a hermit, in the woods, with no equipment and have down syndrome.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
@Brian. That was genius.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLSKcZ8xFtw&feature=related
I think this has been topped. Some German idiots lipsynced to the song and exactly mimiced it on a playground. The best part?…They didn’t have a “black friend” to play T-pain, so they dressed some guy up in blackface for the entire thing! People were understandably offended so the made it ok by putting a “WE ARE NOT RACIST” tag at the bottom of the video. Classic.
May 27th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
If you Donk remix this (using DonkDJ.com) it actually sounds quite good (ironically, as most stuff sounds worse after being “donked”)!
http://www.donkdj.com/remix/69318
May 27th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
oh and by friday im sure the author will have doubled his goal. As i have said before these kids show promise. Remember your first few attempts at poetry, music, drawing, or writing.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
you ice donkeys just don’t take it for what it is… young kids making a funny statement on pop culture so what if they ripped it off or whatever… its like seeing a cover band with a bunch of high schoolers showing off that they could one day be as clever as our friend Swaim.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
The way they pronounced “couch” as “keh-ooch” distracted the hell out of me. Also, I didn’t laugh at all.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
@Richard Gryspeer:
First off, German singers are notoriously unmonotone. I listen to enough metal to have become sick of German oversinging. Listen to Blind Guardian sometime, or the Scorpions. Plus they’re famous for their opera singers, the most excessively overdone style in history. Canada…Canada produced Celine Dion, which is unforgiveable, but also kind of indicates they aren’t big on monotone. What I’m saying is, their home country is only being used as an excuse, and it’s not a valid one.
And making something intentionally bad was funny when Andy Kaufman did it. Because nobody had done it before. (That I know of.) Now it makes you scum. The internet is so full of idiots who think they have some kind of talent making idiotic videos, they don’t need your help, okay? I haven’t looked at anything else by What the Bob, but if it’s all this ironic shit, then I’m not missing anything.
If, on the other hand, you meant for it to be awesome and cool and sweet and bitchin’, and just utterly and miserably failed, then…well, that means you aren’t actively participating in the atrocity I thought you were. So…that would be okay.
And in fourth grade I was writing novels and poetry and learning kenjutsu. So…yeah.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
are you implying that “David Reads Quietly” wasn’t funny?
May 27th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
I keep wondering if I missed something and this whole article is a very sarcastic thumbs up to the people in the video. If so, I commend you, SWAIM, for bamboozling so many with so little.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
… I mean… clearly. Really DW, go brag to your stinky, fat, ugly slut of your boyfriend about your life… you are pretty pathetic.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
@Darth_Waste:
Seriously? How old are you? “I write comic books and can fuck my girlfriend whenever I want”…that’s just fucking pathetic man. You sound like a 14 year old bragging to his little brother. Seriously, man, you are a complete piece of shit. Also, why is any of that relevant to being called a faggot? “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you over how awesome my life is”…you should seriously consider leaving the internet. What a fucking tool.
May 27th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
@Darth_Waste, TMI. Its the internet, nobody cares who you are or what you do. Just ignore him.
May 27th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
vagitoe failed at spelling failure….or did he?
May 27th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
this article was totally on a couch
May 27th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
___SPOILER ALERT!!!___
This article is full of falure, so it must be comedic gold!
May 27th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
To who addressed me as faggot…. Sorry I didnt respond to that insightful comment earlier, i was too busy getting paid to write a graphic novel from my house, where i can play xbox, work out, and fuck my girlfriend any time i want…..
May 27th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I don’t like it when someone tells me to digg their stuff. That’s why I haven’t dugg Gladstone in like a month. I’m so rebellious.
May 27th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
i would rather masturbate with a cheese grater than continue reading this
May 27th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Swaimy, you kinda screwed up here. I’ll admit that this article isn’t a complete failure, but it got close. How about we stop by 4chan a bit less, eh?
May 27th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
not gonna happen swaim
May 27th, 2009 at 11:55 am
http://g.imagehost.org/view/0799/Scouch
May 27th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Song even. Fucking keybord.
May 27th, 2009 at 11:47 am
How can you parody a parody of generic vocoded T Pain hiphop without any reference to vocoders, hiphop, or T Pain?
Let’s be honest, Andy Samberg is comedy for douchebags.
May 27th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Does no-one know about the son Im On a Boat? Lonely Island? kids ripped it off. Horribly.
May 27th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Holy shit, this was stupid. Hey Swaim, go smother yourself in DOB’s armpit and die.
May 27th, 2009 at 11:33 am
I can’t wait for the follow up mega hits “I’m on a chair” and “I’m lying in bed” both will rock this world, especially with the awesome lyric writing and video performances. Also can’t wait for the sure fire write up by Swaim.
This is the first time that I remember both the mocked subject being dongtastic and the mockery being dongtastic at the same time….. What the hell is going on here?
May 27th, 2009 at 11:32 am
And I’m not prejudiced.. my favorite band is from Florida.
May 27th, 2009 at 11:31 am
@pFranks
i was thinking more like Rush (the 4th most best-selling gold and platinum albums in history), K-os, I’m sure you all hate the Barenaked Ladies. Sum 41, Our Lady Peace.
May 27th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Really Swaim? REALLY?
Forced memes are full of fail and genkem. If you go through with this, you will only add to the cancer that is killing the internet.
Instead of making this a meme, how about you make something funny and hope that IT can gain meme status.
A very good example.
encyclopediadramatica[dot]com[slash]Metapedia[dot]org
May 27th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Hey Darth_waste, your a fag! STFU and GTFO
May 27th, 2009 at 10:51 am
I met the johnstones at this bar in toronto last summer. It was rad. We spent all night stealing chicks from the band headly, and generally ruining their night. As i said, rad
May 27th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Holy God Swaim you took those poor fucks to task. Have some pity. You pulled some poor, unfunny kids from obscurity just to humiliate them.
Not everyone can write comic gold like “The Hot Farts”
…
May 27th, 2009 at 10:46 am
@shooshooa
YES! Canada is chock-full of awesome singers, just think Celine Dion, Bryan Adams, Alanis Morrisette… Shania Twain… Avril Lavigne…
on second thought, nevermind
May 27th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Some of you don’t get it. Some of those kids can’t even drive yet. What they have done is have the courage and patience to plan some fucking video and get to gather and convince eachother to act like fucking idiots. Its cute, and i’m sure that they had a fucking blast doing it. Not many people are lucky enough to have a job that they like, and at least one of those boys could stick with their craft and actually have some measure of success doing something that they love doing. Everyone has to start somewhere and this video is a rough gem. it is a shame they will all part ways for college.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:33 am
I’ve noticed 4chan is rubbing off a wee bit on Mr.Swaim.
I hope he can pull out of this and deliver some more awesome videos (Which I think are better then memes)
May 27th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Swaim, what the flying fucknuts was that?
Everything after the paragraph describing the video made me want to go to your house and set your couch on fire, film your reaction, then get cracked to post it. (how’s that for schadenfreude?)
May 27th, 2009 at 10:25 am
So everyone actually gets that the comedy article is about failing, and he “failed” at making a funny article.
Truth be told, I sat there crying, asking, “Why Swaim…why?…We were happy…once….”
Not just yesterday was I thinking, “Hey they should change this to Swaim.com because he basically keeps this website running.”
Then after reading this article and watching the video, I thought to myself, “Man, I should definitely give Mr.Swaim a gay blowjob just so I can have the chance to bite off his ball for ever letting me believe that there was funny and intellectual satire on the internet.”
Then I thought about for a while and just kept wondering how he could have failed so bad…then I realised the joke.
The only problem is that Mr.Swaim’s joke involves the reader to have an I.Q. of someone who doesn’t read Cracked.com article for entertainment. Hell I was surprised that I even got it. My mind is usually not in “Seeing the big Picture mode” and more in “Hahaha, they said penis…”
May 27th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I know… lol. Just teasing you back (or on your back if you’re a fine, slender, athletic lady)! BA-BOING!!!
May 27th, 2009 at 10:16 am
Oh, and SWAIM nice wardrobe choice!!!! You must have one kick ass closet.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:08 am
In fourth grade i was dressed up as batman filming my self jumping from my swing set to a tree to a pool.
May 27th, 2009 at 10:05 am
“what were you doing it 4th grade?”
Doing something fucking USEFUL?
May 27th, 2009 at 9:59 am
YouTube their videos and they actually put up their numbers. Feel free to praise or abuse them, personally I want to use them in my up coming comic where they are the only form of entertainment in post WWIII.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Bloody hell, Swaim! My eyes and ears are bleeding after being subjected to that piece of filth from youtube that you posted. DAMMIT!!!
May 27th, 2009 at 9:48 am
This was Dongfuckingtacular. The article by Swaim, not the video.
There’s a fine difference between trying to be retarded and being completely retarded, the video was obiously the latter.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:45 am
dude, it was a comedic metaphor, not supposed to be taken literally.
if you don’t like it, why do you read it?
May 27th, 2009 at 9:35 am
Wow. I’m amazed nobody else has pointed out by now that you couldn’t have raised the Marx Brothers and killed them in their seperate coffins because Groucho and Harpo were cremated and that Harpo’s ashes were apparently mixed in with a sandtrap at his favorite golf course.
This is presuming, of course, you meant the famous Marx Brothers. Presumably there are other Marx Brothers somewhere who were buried in coffins, although why they’d care about your so-called comedy is beyond me. Maybe Gladstone is using their tibias to balance his uneven desk leg?
May 27th, 2009 at 9:34 am
“It’s like someone marinated the One Ring in Midi-chlorians: I am powerless to resist (also invisible).”
That part had me rolling
May 27th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Dongtacular this shit was
May 27th, 2009 at 9:28 am
@ Burdette is just angry because…
I wasn’t angry, nor was I whining. Just making an observation and commenting on it. Cause THAT is what the comments section is for.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:17 am
I want to stab a screwdriver in my skull in hopes of removing whatever part of the brain has stored the 2:30 of that video.
Great article, I always enjoy the SWAIM.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:15 am
ive never hated the internet more than when i watched this video
May 27th, 2009 at 9:12 am
@Richard Gryspeerdt
no matter what country someone is from, if they are speaking english, they are making a video up to your standards.
If you are encouraging people to check out your web-site, you should be prepared for the backlash of something you made in grade 4, or update it to AT LEAST your college levels… which seems to be a lie DIRECTLY from your home page:
“In December 2004 we wanted to make a web site so we were thinking of some names and we came up with What the Bob. On April 1, 2005 we launched the web site.”
P.S. I am from Canada, and so are some other non-monotone singers you may have heard of.. you should focus on the monotone singing everyone in the video did.. not just the German and the Canadian. It was a collective effort, including their part.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:09 am
… Germans burned a lot of her (I’m assuming you’re female because you’re a whiny cunt) relatives in the ovens. LOL!
May 27th, 2009 at 9:07 am
… and sniffs their bicycles seats in the bike racks awaiting that recess bell for his show to really start! Nuff said.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Here’s part of the note they added to the video since this article was posted. I’m gonna go ahead put a giant [SIC] in front of this:
“the video w as ment to be a joke it is suppose to sound retarded w e have a german foreign exchange student singing most of it.”
Conclusion: anything performed by a German foreign exchange student is inherently retarded, and therefore a joke.
May 27th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Is this “Crackedhead” thing new? I don’t think we should try to make that happen.
May 27th, 2009 at 8:50 am
is dongtacular good or bad im lost now
May 27th, 2009 at 8:49 am
one, i could taste the sarcasm from that one like the sweet morning dew over the cuyahoga river in cleveland.
(live in cleveland and you will get that one)
second, if you missed it, wow………………..just wow!
swaim, the article was awesome, and the kids in it restupid
May 27th, 2009 at 8:46 am
stop saying dongtastic
the word is dongtacular
May 27th, 2009 at 8:45 am
“we had a german and a canadian singing it what do you expect.”
unfunny AND racist (AND dongtacular)!
May 27th, 2009 at 8:39 am
I don’t know if I like “dongtacular”. I’m still deciding. Is it time to bring back “expensive hat” yet?
The best part was playing that video and seeing that the creator added a passive aggressive note thanking Swaim for the publicity.
May 27th, 2009 at 8:37 am
And for heaven’s sake, people! It’s dongTACULAR. I don’t know where you guys got ‘dongtastic’ from. That one’s just retarded.
May 27th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Forced meme is forced. >_< You can’t do that!
I thought it was okay. It wasn’t that funny but, even if you haven’t been posting recently, I saw you pumping something out almost every other day (also, frequently posting articles and videos). It was almost creepy how fast you were going.
The best part was that the uploaders added a little note for you. Cracked’s influence is everywhere.
May 27th, 2009 at 8:33 am
Cracked is not your personal army!
May 27th, 2009 at 8:15 am
@Action Figure Man why?
May 27th, 2009 at 8:13 am
fucking boring!
and fuck you Swaim!
May 27th, 2009 at 8:08 am
I don’t know what to say…
May 27th, 2009 at 8:01 am
Considering that the parody they are parodying isn’t funny, this is inexcusable.
Swaim, will you have my offspring?
May 27th, 2009 at 8:00 am
@Richard Gryspeerdt: You are an idiot.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:59 am
NO, I DIDN’T SEE THE END. Not even close. I have a pretty short attention span when it comes to tone-deaf arrythmic young people falling asleep at me over the internet.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:56 am
I’m not sure…
But I think he was being sarcastic.
I hope.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:54 am
wow. interesting someone has actually found my video and my website. this video was a joke it was ment to be monotone and and sounds retarded. we had a german and a canadian singing it what do you expect. and as for my website i made it when i was in 4th grade. i guess if you wanna hate on it thats cool but seriously what were you doing it 4th grade?
May 27th, 2009 at 7:36 am
swaim, you really need to be taken out to pasture. your funny days are behind youm just give your show over to gladstone and make it so that there is more than one reason a week to check out cracked
May 27th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Erm…nah I think I’ll pass on these guys
The fact that their video made me bang my head against a wall for 6 minutes straight maaaay be a bad sign, ya know?
May 27th, 2009 at 7:18 am
How the fuck can you let this shit through after the legendary post from yesterday.
Is this really Gladstone pretending to be SWAIM cos that’s the level of fuckupery we see here.
We’d rather see you less if it’s going to be good quality.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:16 am
That video was completely dongtacular.
May 27th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I actually stopped watching it to answer a tellemarketing call…. I have caller I.D. so yes I knew it was a tellemarketer
May 27th, 2009 at 7:07 am
I want those 2 and a half minutes back, Swaim.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:55 am
I hate to be the one to break it to you SWAIM, but… These guys arn’t funny…and neither are you : ( (J.K. I still find you fairly humerous!)
May 27th, 2009 at 6:55 am
This was pretty dongtastic. Good to have you back.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:46 am
How odd, I’m on a couch right now. It’s not of fire, nor am I singing about it. But that will soon change. It will be dongtastic.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:35 am
My god. Just . . . I couldn’t watch more than 44 seconds. You’re absolutely right, sir. There’s not a hint of irony, here.
Don’t get me wrong, overdone irony was old after Tim and Eric got done raping Andy Kaufman’s corpse for about the 900th time - that sort of irony where something isn’t funny, the comedian knows that it isn’t funny, and knows that YOU know it isn’t funny, and somehow that knowledge is supposed to make it funny. It’s like trying alchemy with comedy, and just like real alchemy, it doesn’t fucking work.
So there is something slightly refreshing to know that people are still trying and actually failing, and not pretending that their failures were intentional, rather than simply unavoidable. But . . . you know. Not refreshing enough to watch more than 44 seconds of it.
The frightening thing is that they actually tried! They weren’t just lazy - they put real effort into just about every aspect of this (other than varying their pitch at all) and yet it was still never funny at all. OK. I have to watch the whole thing. I have to see if it turns around at some point . . .
. . .
OK, I watched the whole thing now, and I think that EVERYTHING that I said above still holds true. It’s just horrible. But then again, I have to admit that I’m one of the few people that doesn’t find failure funny, but frustrating and/or annoying, so it’s probably not so much something that would’ve appealed to me anyway.
But oh yes, if I AM going to watch failure, give me full-on real failure to the Tim and Eric unfunny meta-failure.
May 27th, 2009 at 6:25 am
utterly dongtacular
May 27th, 2009 at 6:20 am
Comment on their forums yo!
http://z14.invisionfree.com/What_The_Bob_Dot_Com/index.php?showtopic=16
May 27th, 2009 at 6:16 am
Dongtastic!
May 27th, 2009 at 5:41 am
These guys are freakin’ dongtacular!
May 27th, 2009 at 5:36 am
Dongtacularsaurus.
May 27th, 2009 at 5:35 am
Look at their forums!
May 27th, 2009 at 5:35 am
dongtacular is right
May 27th, 2009 at 5:34 am
Forced meme is forced…
sage goes in all fields.
May 27th, 2009 at 5:33 am
Good to know!
And thousands of sincere and serious tall people I met on http://tallconnect.com are the most amazing people I ever met! they care nothing but real love and chemistry! that’s what we are looking for in today’s world!
May 27th, 2009 at 5:28 am
Oh, and your stuff was funny too, I guess.
May 27th, 2009 at 5:26 am
So was that video parodying something? Or did they talk monotonously about couches because they are hardcore? Either way, thank you for bringing this wonderful video to my attention, Swaim.
May 27th, 2009 at 5:23 am
holyshit thats one awesome couch.
ID SIT ON IT, BURN IT, THEN SIT IN IT WHILE ITS BURNING.
gimme that damn couch!
May 27th, 2009 at 5:12 am
dongtacular
just… dongtacular
May 27th, 2009 at 5:10 am
So, I just got off of Oxford’s website and finally fully realized how enraged I am over the inclusion of “grrrl”. I looked at the new words added in March 2009 and one of the inductees was “achy-breaky”. Upon seeing this, I realized it didn’t think that was too bad of an inclusion. That’s what’s wrong with fuckin’ “grrrl”. “Achy-breaky” seems acceptable by comparison. I should be hating “Achy-breaky” but I’m not! Know why I don’t hate “achy-breaky” being in the Oxford English Dictionary? BECAUSE THEY FUCKIN’ ADDED “GRRRL” TO IT!!!!! By comparison, “achy-breaky” seems like some Shakespeare shit! I fuckin’ hate you “grrrl”. I just really fuckin’ hate you.
May 27th, 2009 at 4:47 am
im at school but no video.
i still found this article funny.
oh you swaimy bastard.
*swaimy is now an adjective.
May 27th, 2009 at 4:47 am
whats up with the cowboy hat? keep posting we miss you Swaim
May 27th, 2009 at 4:43 am
You know what would have been even funnier? A futon! Foo-tawn. Ha ha ha ha! What a funny soundng word.