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Am I The Only Person On The Internet Who Thought AMC's The Prisoner Was Amazing?
Cody's Least Popular Blog Post: Why All Black Comedians Are Doing It Wrong
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My Failed Attempts to Write a Goosebumps Novel
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November 21st, 2009 at 6:37 am
god i hate kids nowadays
November 20th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
A-Ron Says:
November 7th, 2009 at 7:17 am
“Fuck, that was totes weird.”
funniest part of this page.
November 20th, 2009 at 11:06 am
This song had potential, but in the end it failed miserably.
Nice try, Cody!
November 18th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
i couldnt stop laughing and then i did. but maybe its because i had to pause it halfway through and get back to it….
November 18th, 2009 at 12:44 am
It is definitely different. Cracked can use different. I think I like it.
November 15th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
I’m not sure how I felt about that one…
November 15th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
that voice terrified the shit out of me. and the video itself just wasn’t very funny.
November 14th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
*bursts into horrified ears*
November 12th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Hey Cody. Sorry, but that pretty much sucked.
November 9th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Cody you owe me a minute and a half of precious time. 1:25 for the crappy video and 5 seconds because I’m charging you for the time it took me to bitch about it like a woman too.
November 7th, 2009 at 7:17 am
Fuck, that was totes weird.
November 5th, 2009 at 9:04 pm
hehe. totes :p
November 3rd, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Trolling continued. This shit sucks.
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:58 am
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November 2nd, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Mr. C totes = totally
This song made me giggle. So i watched it again.
zA~
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 am
I like it.Sounds like Captain Beefheart.
November 2nd, 2009 at 2:31 am
“…like math and social studies, frownyface”
Hee.
November 1st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
loveitloveitloveitloveitloveit
November 1st, 2009 at 7:51 am
“I will not defy readers’ expectations. I will not defy readers’ expectations.”
“I will not defy readers’ expectations. I will not defy readers’ expectations.”
“I will not defy readers’ expectations. I will not defy readers’ expectations.”
Learn it well Cody.
October 31st, 2009 at 11:08 am
I love how every time the note says ‘lol’ he laughs like a creeper.
This video is awesome.
October 30th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
These negative comments are part of the gag, right? Because he’s been pretty funny.
October 30th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Yeah I would’ve been like , “Ummm I’ll go out with u when you learn to write correctly.”
October 30th, 2009 at 9:29 am
One of Cody’s best songs so far. He has some bad stuff, but also some brilliant stuff.
October 30th, 2009 at 8:51 am
heheheh
lol, is the new period for this generation?
It seems so,lol.
October 29th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
whoa, kinda disturbing
October 28th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
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October 27th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Heart! heheheh
October 27th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __ AgelessFriends.com __ It’s a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
October 27th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Man, Middle school sure has changed since I was there about 10 years ago.
Seems our spelling has gotten much worse.
October 27th, 2009 at 12:49 am
Totally.
October 26th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
What the hell is totes?
October 26th, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Wanna find a tall partner???
Here is a very nice dating community —— Tallchat.com ——-
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October 26th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
That was hilarious Cody, I think I’m pretty much gonna ignore all those negative comments about you from now on. FOR REALZ
October 26th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Cody scores one! Man, I thought you were gunna drag down the team.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
In light of the fact that you can hear sights, see sounds, and probably a wide variety of other “5 sense” related tricks, I have no choice to but assume that you’re some sort of super-mutant. I ask that you not use your newfound power to track me down over the internet and let the air out of my tires.
That would not be cool.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Congratulations on invoking Skitt’s Law, Furnace Master! I did indeed produce a typo of the most egregious and blasphemous order. I lieu of a witty retort, I offer the following question.
What, exactly, is “sight I hear”? Have you been taking some substance produced by a clandestine government organization, one which allows for the visual detection of sounds? Were you perhaps born with this talent? Were you aware of the fact that someone has, in fact, taken your enormously awesome superpower and made not only an action game out of it, but also a recent anime series?
Oh, I see. You meant “sight, I hear.” Well then. That changes things.
October 26th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
No one will listen to someone who can’t recognize the difference between site (slang for website) and sight (something to do with vision I hear).
I thought the song was pretty funny, though.
October 26th, 2009 at 11:28 am
I thought this was pretty funny. Nice job.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:35 am
This is the same article as “Tweens caught texting behind roller rink”, just in a slightly different (and equally as totally not funny) format.
Ed: Did you give this half wit carte blanche to greenlight his own articles? If so, you should totes revoke that ASAP. He’s actually sucking the awesome out of your sight as we speak.
Like, right now.
Go save yourselves.
October 26th, 2009 at 10:13 am
go read some harry potter, wanker
October 26th, 2009 at 3:02 am
I was a high school teacher, and I WISH I had students who could have written that competently. Sad sad stuff.
October 25th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Pretty bad. Did kids even pass notes like that way back when this singer was in school? I passed a whole mess of notes in high school and none of them sounded anything like this. I (VERY UNFORTUNATELY) ride the loser cruiser daily and have to listen to teenagers talk to each other loudly, without stopping for air ever and new demon broods don’t sound anything like this.
Other than the yes/no boxes this made no sense.
This was so bad that I kind of want to see someone make a new version of this just to prove that it COULD have been funny.
October 25th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Anybody know the what the opposite of “dongtastic” is? Because thats how I feel after watching this shit.
Oh, and my friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com __ It’s a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other.
Seriously that site rocks my balls off.
October 25th, 2009 at 5:02 pm
I hope this was supposed to be from the perspective of a pedophile. So kudos for actually getting people to say that in a positive way. Or not maybe. I’m not really sure. Either way if that IS the case then this ranks as marginally funny. Somewhere between a “deez nuts” joke and a fat guy tripping but not quite falling down. I have to say overall, poorly played sir. So far unimpressive.
October 25th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
@Jaciz - it was supposed to be. You understand this was supposed to be an older man pretending to be a teen guy to be able to rape a teen girl? AKA a pedophile? That was the whole joke of it.
October 25th, 2009 at 10:29 am
Is there a box to check for “that sucked?”
October 25th, 2009 at 10:11 am
That was genius.
October 25th, 2009 at 9:32 am
What’s totes?
October 25th, 2009 at 9:19 am
his voice was too deep
October 25th, 2009 at 8:56 am
In my experience the boy makes only the “yes” and “no” boxes, and the girl adds the “maybe.”
October 25th, 2009 at 8:46 am
mr cody you have built momentum in he right direction ^-^
October 25th, 2009 at 8:16 am
I feel as if this were written from the perspective of a pedophile….
October 25th, 2009 at 2:51 am
In ___Sugarloves-C OM___, build a home for your youth!!
October 25th, 2009 at 12:24 am
hahahahah fucking great dude. Even nailed the “check yes or no” boxes. Well done sir.
October 25th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Ok, it was funny but it could have been amazing. Cody needs to focus less on quantity, I mean most of his stuff could have been amazing but since he updates all the time then they aren’t as good as they could be. If he updated weekly thenhis would be some of the funniest stuff on here.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
That was hilarious, doomsauce approves.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
This guy is probably always hilarious. (probably)
October 24th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
There was a song in the 80s by Georgia Satellites called “I Love You Period.” Look it up.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
It wasn’t that bad. Sure it wasn’t laugh out loud funny or the best thing on the site. But it was worth watching. I definately don’t think he should be kicked off the cracked team.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:31 pm
How do you mess something this simple up, Cody? HOW!!!???!!!
October 24th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
Very nice song, the voice could use a little less grain and creepy redneck laugh, but the whole thing was pretty catchy. I look forward to your next work, Cody.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com __ It’s a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
That was disappointing.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Cody’s funny, except for right now.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
I loved it! Keep it up Cody!
October 24th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
lol, has potential
October 24th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
yawn
October 24th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
creepy and awesome and creepy, but awesome.
October 24th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
loved it.
October 24th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
The Twitter song was much, much better, but this is pretty awesome.
October 24th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Check this site out! Some funny stuff.
October 24th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I don’t like much of cody’s stuff, but I thought this was pretty good. Loved “heart!” and the creepy laughs whenever he wrote ‘lol’. Stick to the videos, Cody.
October 24th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Weak fucking sauce.
October 24th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Lol, the seedy laughing made it for me
October 24th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Seriously Cody, are you trying to be unfunny? If so then well done.
October 24th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I thought it was good.
October 24th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
LOL2
October 24th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
“Heart!” got me. I don’t know why.
Creepy Old Guy voice makes it funny for some disturbing reason I don’t care to examine at the moment. Voice-changing ala Peter Brady would’ve made it too sad & pathetic.
(@bananahammockjesusjew(comedy)- hahaha. well said)
October 24th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Great! Sounds a lot like Capt. Beefheart!
October 24th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
This man better not be getting paid for all the shit he produces
October 24th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I would check yes.
October 24th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Hey, it’s the pederast blues!
October 24th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
Tween is the most fucking annoying word ever.
October 24th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Fail
October 24th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
cody is totes fantastic.
October 24th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
That was fucking brilliant.
October 24th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
This was pretty bad. Also, don’t know any kid who says “tween.”
October 24th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
As fun as it is to read articles with the exact same formats and the exact same sort of joke (”They then did [something real], presumably in order to [something ridiculous]“- *picture of a dinosaur with lasers, an 80’sactor, or a girl with huge boobs- mildly witty caption*)- it is nice to read something short, sweet, and of a different brand.
I like Cody. Totes.
October 24th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
this reminds me of creed…
I don’t like being reminded of his gigantic lower jaw
October 24th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
lame
October 24th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Not really all that true.
October 24th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Keep in mind this video isn’t actually BY Cody, it’s posted from the old site he was a part of.
October 24th, 2009 at 11:56 am
First addition by Cody that I actually found amusing. Maybe he’s actually growing on me now…
October 24th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Actually…Yes. I loved this. Short, sweet, to the point, and very true (unfortunatly) I was waiting on that “check yes, no, or maybe” for the whole video. Lurv ya, cody
October 24th, 2009 at 11:45 am
You know, when I read Cracked (or any other humor site for that matter) I just take it for granted that not every article is for me. I’m just not going to find them funny because they’re not aimed at my particular sense of humor. You know what I do when I come across one of those? I shrug and go on with my life. I don’t take it as a personal insult that not EVERY SINGLE COLUMNIST will make me laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME. I’m honestly convinced that there are some people whose entire enjoyment of this site comes from bitching about what other people do. It’s the only way all the venom and fake anger makes any sense to me. Maybe you folks (you know who you are) need a new hobby. Learning to spell, maybe.
Anyhoo, you make me laugh, Cody. Keep it up.
October 24th, 2009 at 11:40 am
i like some of your stuff cody
this isnt something i enjoyed though.
i found this kinda retarded
keep workin though, u hit more then you miss in my book.
October 24th, 2009 at 11:21 am
ha, good stuff man, I enjoyed this one
October 24th, 2009 at 11:10 am
this is creepily accurate, especially the intentionally mispelled words like “kewl” and “totes” haha. i love the “i LIKE like you” line. Reminds me of back when nobody had the courage to just ask the girl out
October 24th, 2009 at 11:10 am
I was actually really surprised when I went back to look at Cody’s former posts. The Twitter Song was one of my favorite videos on this site ever, Swaim included.
That being said, more songs. While I thought the voices for Commanders of Siege Force was hilarious (unlike everybody else), it just didn’t work for any of the other videos, including this one. Unless you were all squeaky voiced and all, you know?
October 24th, 2009 at 11:06 am
“We should totes hang out”
xD
October 24th, 2009 at 10:54 am
Best part: I LIKE like you.
Very accurate.
October 24th, 2009 at 10:36 am
The title intrigued me, but I was not expecting a blues-style song! The crazy thing about this is how accurate it is.
This is the 2nd post of Cody’s I’ve actually enjoyed, keep making stuff like this and you’ll have a fan!
October 24th, 2009 at 10:23 am
Cody reminds me of the British version of The Office…yes, it makes you uncomfortable, and your friends will never understand the humor in it, and it doesn’t always make you laugh out loud.
But there’s some kind of demented genius going on under the surface, and quite frankly, I love it. Keep up the good work.
October 24th, 2009 at 10:20 am
tom waits was never a tween.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:45 am
meh…
October 24th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Liked it. Not your best but the fact that you write a new song or article every 30 seconds means some have to be just short of brilliant, I mean statistically.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Eh, amusing but could have been 100x better.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:36 am
I didn’t burst out laughing, but it was funny. It’s not bringing the goddamn apocalypse. Lighten up people, if it makes you that angry move on to something else.
The craptions are the comedy dumpster of this site, and some of you guys are probably at fault. Occasionally the winner won’t be a Michael Jackson / Sarah Palin / dick / generic stupid people joke, but every other entry always is.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:33 am
Loved it
October 24th, 2009 at 9:25 am
It was alright, the creepy “hehehe” parts were the only real funny things. The rest was definitely true but more of frustrating than funny. Goddamn those stupid lil bastard kids.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:21 am
i keep thinking your going to be good cody, however this was a meh.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:15 am
Goddamn it Cody.
October 24th, 2009 at 9:03 am
FAIL
October 24th, 2009 at 8:50 am
Yeah, fire Cody or whatever. He sucks cocks.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:48 am
I like the pedophile voice. So this is what happened before Yahoo chat rooms existed?
October 24th, 2009 at 8:41 am
That was funny. The word “totes” makes my skin crawl. I do not miss being a tween.
The Yes No Maybe boxes were funny, those notes always had those.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:38 am
Cody is medium
October 24th, 2009 at 8:34 am
I thought it was hilarious. Mostly because of the creep factor.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:30 am
Creeper! Haha.
I think Cody’s stuff is pretty sweet. Fuck the haters, keep ‘im on!
October 24th, 2009 at 8:29 am
I thought it was pretty decent. If you don’t like Cody’s stuff, do you geniuses think maybe you should…I don’t know?…stop watching/reading it?
October 24th, 2009 at 8:26 am
This has nothing to do with not being funny, because there are no dick jokes, toilet humor or the likes.
This is not funny because it isn’t.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:19 am
This was okay actually. Made me chuckle.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:16 am
This gave me flashbacks of molestations that never even happened to me. What was with the Super Pedo voice?
October 24th, 2009 at 8:12 am
Thought this was from a pedophiles viewpoint.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:11 am
I love Cody’s stuff. Its a bit…different, yes, not always laugh out loud funny, but its a good kind of different. Plus, I love reading all the comments from people who are probably short on their daily dose of toilet humor. And people like PBC, who reminds me of religious assholes: they have their belief they take SO seriously, there is no more rationality in their arguments. “I don’t like it, so anyone who does like it is just secretly the author planting positive comments on his own article!” Insert Hand Wank here.
October 24th, 2009 at 8:09 am
I don’t know what most you people are talking about. As a 16 year old surrounded by idiots who used to act like this last year, this isn’t half bad, this isn’t half bad at all.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:58 am
I quite liked it.
Haharhar
October 24th, 2009 at 7:54 am
i enjoyed it
especially the LOLZ with creepy hehehe’s
October 24th, 2009 at 7:41 am
I like most of what Cody does.
He often makes me laugh.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:38 am
Cody is fucking hilarious.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:34 am
Cody sucks
October 24th, 2009 at 7:25 am
If you are interested in W W W-Sugarloves-C O M which the best sugardaddy/sugarbabe dating site.Well,join for free and seek your sugardaddy and sugarbabe!!!
October 24th, 2009 at 7:21 am
honestly, it was better than i thought it would be when i first read the title.
i’m not entirely sure where all the hate is coming from when it comes to cody. everytime i click on one of his posts theres comments about it being the “worst” thing cracked has ever put up. and so far, the only reason i can come up with for why they’re the “worst” is they aren’t composed of a bunch of dick jokes.
expand your horizons, people!
October 24th, 2009 at 7:18 am
That was probably the worst thing I’ve ever watched. Kick Cody Johnson off cracked, everything he does is at best not funny, and at worst, symptoms of a mental illness
October 24th, 2009 at 7:17 am
Nothing funny about that Oo
October 24th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Really unfunny. I was expecting some sort of twist, like a pedobear signature, especially when he mentioned multiple tweens.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:07 am
This was pretty bad.
October 24th, 2009 at 7:06 am
PedoBear says “yes!”. Also, “ewww”.
October 24th, 2009 at 6:51 am
Sorta funny. I liked the rythm.
October 24th, 2009 at 6:51 am
Creepy
October 24th, 2009 at 6:45 am
this is shit
October 24th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Cracked is normally high quality, which means someone must choose what goes in and what stays out, which means… someone wasn’t doing their job.
October 24th, 2009 at 6:43 am
No no no no.
I am breaking my sacred promise to never comment, but this was just bad.
Technically it was , well, ok.
But it didnt even make me smile, and I even lol at fatawesome.
Bad cody.
BAD!
October 24th, 2009 at 6:42 am
You people have got to be SHITTING me!!!
Unless pbc is right, and this guy writes his own comments, I have now officially lost faith in humanity (and so will old Mrs. Chen in about a minute).
Well… here I go!
October 24th, 2009 at 6:39 am
I never thought I would ever go that far, because there’s always (at any time) a bunch of shit out there, but this was the worst piece of Ay Caramba, I have stumbled across on Cracked (the internet…?).
There are 11 Responses while I’m writing this, I haven’t read any of them yet, but I hereby promise, that if one of them is positive, I’ll strip naked, run dong-swinging through my neighbourhood, and eat chocolate ice-cream of old Mrs. Chen’s Butt, while singing nursery rhymes backwards.
It’s not going to happen!
October 24th, 2009 at 6:33 am
I think it lost the ‘Middle School Love Note’ vibe when it was sung by an adult with a raspy southern accent, it gave off more of a ‘pedophile’ vibe after that.
October 24th, 2009 at 6:24 am
clearly all the posts saying this video was good were made by cody
because this video was terrible
October 24th, 2009 at 6:18 am
LOL2
October 24th, 2009 at 6:17 am
Thank you for that insightful look into the perverted mind of a 12 year old.
October 24th, 2009 at 6:15 am
Lame.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:51 am
Hahaha, awesome.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:51 am
Slightly incredibly insane, but hilarious nonetheless.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:48 am
I feel violated, yet amused.
October 24th, 2009 at 5:38 am
“lolz”
October 24th, 2009 at 4:40 am
No.
October 24th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Oh yeah, also: First!
October 24th, 2009 at 4:31 am
That was, erm… Kewl.