8:54 PMDan O’Brien - Guys, I’m going to be completely honest: My humor tonight is going to be severely impacted by the fact that I don’t want to have sex with anyone in this debate.
8:55 PMMichael Swaim - They just said on CNN that McCain needs to seem “more compassionate” tonight. Mayhap he’ll do some DOB-wooing thru-screen?
8:55 PMDan O’Brien - Mayhap, Swaim. Mayhap.
8:55 PMHbn Gladstone - I’m drinking scotch. How about you guys?
8:56 PMRoss Wolinsky - Jim Beam and soda.
8:56 PMMichael Swaim -
8:56 PMMichael Swaim - You’re telling me you don’t want some of this?
8:56 PMDan O’Brien - I wanted to have a nice champagne, but it turns out I don’t have that, so I’m drinking this wine I brewed in my toilet.
8:56 PMDan O’Brien - You may scoff, but anyone who’s been to prison knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about.
8:56 PMHbn Gladstone - John McCain has been in prison
8:57 PMRoss Wolinsky - Just to bring everyone up to speed with a complete non-sequitor, Swaim has already accused me of having a penis that presents a choking hazard to small children, to which I countered that it was manufactured in China and is covered in lead paint.
8:57 PMRoss Wolinsky - All that and the debate hasn’t even STARTED yet.
8:57 PMMichael Swaim - Whoa! That was BEHIND THE SCENES commentary, Ross.
8:57 PMMichael Swaim - They have to wait for the DVD for that shit
8:57 PMRoss Wolinsky - I know. But marketing said people like that kind of stuff.
8:57 PMMichael Swaim - Also, Palin’s daughter is retarded.
8:57 PMMichael Swaim - There, it can only go up from here.
8:58 PMRoss Wolinsky - Hence the Glitter Act of 2009.
8:58 PMHbn Gladstone - I’m not gonna like to you, Swaim. Your pic is freakin’ me out.
8:58 PMDan O’Brien -
8:58 PMHbn Gladstone - lie to you
8:58 PMDan O’Brien - (There’s an edit button, Gladstone.)
8:58 PMMichael Swaim - Well, your avatar seems to be making eyes at me, so I really don’t know what to believe.
8:59 PMMichael Swaim - (just because it’s in parentheses doesn’t mean it’s whispered, Dan)
8:59 PMDan O’Brien - Hey, on CNN, they’re talking about Polls. It says 80% of the people think the country is going badly.
8:59 PMDan O’Brien - Did any of you guys take this poll?
8:59 PMDan O’Brien - No one ever asks me to take these polls everyone’s always talking about
8:59 PMRoss Wolinsky - Can you guys tell me when I need to actually turn on the TV? As it stands I’m in the alley behind my apartment going through the contents of my wallet.
8:59 PMMichael Swaim - I think they just poll Kieth Olbermann now
9:00 PMMichael Swaim - And chatting online, Ross? I submit that you are a liar.
9:00 PMRoss Wolinsky - It’s called WiFi. Check it out.
9:00 PMDan O’Brien - It’s starting guys. The shit is on.
9:00 PMMichael Swaim - I sincerely hope that the talk gets slightly more political when the debate starts…
9:00 PMMichael Swaim - I want to have sex with the CNN commentator on the left
9:00 PMHbn Gladstone - I’m watching on CNN too.
9:01 PMMichael Swaim - Right? Right?
9:01 PMDan O’Brien - Wolf Blitzer just said that the candidates don’t know what the questions are going to be tonight.
9:01 PMHbn Gladstone - is that a joke? do i have to always be funny?
9:01 PMDan O’Brien - Is that different from regular debates?
9:01 PMHbn Gladstone - BEEP! Welcome to Hate By Numbers. BEEP 1. Wolf Blitzer? Nice beard!
9:01 PMRoss Wolinsky - Tom Brokaw’s hair looks pretty good tonight.
9:01 PMMichael Swaim - Now they’re playing bass-y fight music.
9:01 PMMichael Swaim - I am PUMPED for this!
9:01 PMDan O’Brien - Tom Brokaw is so likeable.
9:01 PMHbn Gladstone - BEEP 2 Tom Brokaw you talk funny!
9:01 PMMichael Swaim - whoa! Rock flute!
9:02 PMMichael Swaim - CNN is blowing up right now you guys.
9:02 PMRoss Wolinsky - Can we expect a question from Joe Six-Pack tonight?
9:02 PMDan O’Brien - Swaim, what are you watching?
9:02 PMDan O’Brien - I’M watching CNN.
9:02 PMMichael Swaim - Acid.
9:02 PMHbn Gladstone - oh awesome, Tom Brokaw selected the “excellent” questions.
9:02 PMMichael Swaim - His voice is so smooth it makes me want to puke.
9:02 PMRoss Wolinsky - What’s the matter? You don’t trust him?
9:02 PMRoss Wolinsky - I get the feeling he’s done this before.
9:02 PMDan O’Brien - I like Dana Carvey’s Brokaw better than this guy.
9:03 PMRoss Wolinsky - Hey, look - it’s John McCain. He should do well tonight provided that nobody challenges him to raise the roof.
9:03 PMDan O’Brien - This shit is SO ON.
9:03 PMDan O’Brien - Wow, Ross.
9:03 PMHbn Gladstone - For the readers at home, we have a wonderful intern who i shall refer to as “Jeeves” who is helping us tonight. Jeeves, get me a photo of a 1957 Chevy right now! my brokaw joke depends on it!
9:03 PMRoss Wolinsky - Too soon?
9:03 PMDan O’Brien - Does Brokaw have two microphones pinned to his tie?
9:04 PMRoss Wolinsky - Is THAT Joe Six-Pack?
9:04 PMMichael Swaim - I think my feed is ever so slightly delayed. I’ll have to up my game to keep up with this razor-sharp humor.
9:04 PMDan O’Brien - That won’t make him louder. That’s not how sound works.
9:04 PMRoss Wolinsky - I didn’t think he’d be so… bald.
9:04 PMHbn Gladstone - No that’s my 8th grad shop teacher
9:04 PMRoss Wolinsky - Oh. Well, either way he’s clearly drunk.
9:04 PMMichael Swaim - THey should show the coin flip, make it more like a sporting event.
9:04 PMMichael Swaim - Also there should be body checking.
9:04 PMDan O’Brien - Barack would win.
9:04 PMHbn Gladstone - Obama has a perfect dimple in his full windsor tie.
9:04 PMRoss Wolinsky - Dan: You’re forgetting how much McCain has been tortured.
9:04 PMMichael Swaim - Wow, they get to walk around…FDR would TANK this debate.
9:05 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain is a half windsor man.
9:05 PMRoss Wolinsky - McCain is a fully tortured man.
9:05 PMMichael Swaim - McCain is a cro-Magnon man
9:05 PMMichael Swaim - (He’s old)
9:05 PMMichael Swaim - wow, I did it! I killed the blog!
9:05 PMHbn Gladstone - What did Obama just say about “golden showers?”
9:05 PMDan O’Brien - NOW Obama’s wearing a flag pin. Typical liberal flip-flopping.
9:06 PMDan O’Brien - McCain is in a perfect position to jump Obama right now.
9:06 PMMichael Swaim -
9:06 PMMichael Swaim - I just wanted that to be on here.
9:06 PMMichael Swaim - For later reference.
9:06 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain is making a pass at Allen.
9:06 PMRoss Wolinsky - Look at that perfect right angle on McCain’s arm.
9:06 PMRoss Wolinsky - I call bullshit - that is a fake arm.
9:07 PMMichael Swaim - They should really have a debate where Brokaw’s allowed to say “WRONG!”
9:07 PMDan O’Brien - He can’t comb his own hair.
9:07 PMMichael Swaim - Hear the timbre in his voice? There’s that compassion.
9:09 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain and Meg Whitman sitting in a tree!
9:09 PMDan O’Brien - OOOoOoooooH
9:09 PMDan O’Brien - McCain mentioned eBay. Is he making fun of the internet?
9:09 PMDan O’Brien - Because for real, fuck him.
9:09 PMRoss Wolinsky - I think he’s saying he wants to make eBay part of the government.
9:10 PMDan O’Brien - This is really a one-word answer. “Who do you want to have this job?”
9:10 PMMichael Swaim - He’s acheiving a higher joke density than we are.
9:10 PMDan O’Brien - He’s wandering around bullshitting. Give us a name, Obama.
9:10 PMRoss Wolinsky - “Bill.”
9:10 PMMichael Swaim - If Warren Buffet becomes Treasury Secretary, we’ll all be eating Cheeseburgers in Paradise.
9:11 PMRoss Wolinsky - “Steve.”
9:11 PMMichael Swaim - For the record, I’m only here to amuse myself.
9:11 PMHbn Gladstone - What is that yellow thing on Brokaw’s wrist?
9:11 PMDan O’Brien - From the comments, Dave says “I don’t have a TV in my apartment, so this is how I’m “watching” the debate. Thank god for the information super highway!”
9:11 PMRoss Wolinsky - Michelle Obama looks like shit tonight.
9:11 PMDan O’Brien - We should really step up our game.
9:11 PMMichael Swaim - “That 5% are SOOO fucked though. It’s like, these eight guys that just get REAMED.”
9:11 PMDan O’Brien - Are we going to thank every jerkoff who asks a question?
9:12 PMDan O’Brien - You don’t have unlimited time, guys.
9:12 PMRoss Wolinsky - Dave: You should konw that there is a red carpet.
9:12 PMRoss Wolinsky - That is all.
9:12 PMHbn Gladstone - I’m so glad I patented the word “main street” three weeks ago before the crash. I dont’ need to blog for food anymore.
9:12 PMMichael Swaim - Dave: Oh shit, McCain just lumbered into some electrical wires! He’s down! McCain is DOWN!
9:12 PMHbn Gladstone - Yeah, John, neither this participant in the debate nor your VP have ever heard of Fannie Mae.
9:12 PMDan O’Brien - McCain said to a black guy “I bet you’ve never heard of Fannie Mac and Freddie May before this crisis.” Is that racist?
9:13 PMRoss Wolinsky - McCain looks so desperate right now. Obama is sitting in that chair just CHILLING.
9:13 PMDan O’Brien - Like a VILLING.
9:13 PMMichael Swaim - At the last debates he was just short of calling Obama “boy” on several occasions.
9:13 PMDan O’Brien - Jesus, listen to how McCain is breathing, he sounds terrible.
9:13 PMDan O’Brien - Like he’s so tired from minding his slaves all day.
9:13 PMMichael Swaim - It’s compassion. His breath is getting “husky.”
9:13 PMHbn Gladstone - Why did McCAin assume “Allen” can’t afford to stay in his home?
9:13 PMRoss Wolinsky - Wait… I thought Obama’s name was Toby!
9:14 PMMichael Swaim - It’s stage 4 of the McCain compassion program.
9:14 PMMichael Swaim - No, it’s Iraq Hussein Terrorist
9:14 PMDan O’Brien - Give Allen a fist-pump, Obama. Come on. Give him a fist-pump. Just one.
9:14 PMMichael Swaim - Obama: “No YOU take a hike.”
9:14 PMDan O’Brien - “White people, am I right?” Fist-pump.
9:14 PMMichael Swaim - I love Obama’s “tell it like a children’s book” style.
9:15 PMRoss Wolinsky - Make me understand, Obama.
9:15 PMMichael Swaim - “if this happens, then bad stuff. then take that, and make it a million. Do you know a million? That’s a thousand thousand.”
9:15 PMRoss Wolinsky - “Once upon a time there was a pony who believed that the free markets could correct themselves.”
9:15 PMDan O’Brien - “Let’s say Bush is Voldemort. And let’s say Voldemort put his dick in the economy.”
9:15 PMMichael Swaim - See, he’s just writing, that’s his problem. McCain would be in there flailing at them until they MADE IT RIGHT.
9:16 PMMichael Swaim - Tell me what I’m interested in.
9:16 PMMichael Swaim - Please.
9:16 PMMichael Swaim - Look at my avatar, Obama
9:16 PMHbn Gladstone - Jeeves! Where the F is that picture I requested?!!! What are we not paying you for?
9:16 PMMichael Swaim - Do I LOOK interested?
9:17 PMMichael Swaim - You have to slap him around a little or he’s useless.
9:17 PMRoss Wolinsky - Ok let’s back it up here. Calling the 20th Century system “arcane” might be a bit much. The 20th century was only 8 years ago.|
9:17 PMDan O’Brien - Obama says he believes in the American Economy. What is that based on?
9:17 PMMichael Swaim - Hope.
9:17 PMRoss Wolinsky - P.S. That is “Croneyism” #2. A little late in the campaign to start a new buzzword, no?
9:18 PMHbn Gladstone - hahahahahahahahahaha
9:18 PMDan O’Brien - I want a human being, not some hopetologist.
9:18 PMMichael Swaim - No one’s willing to say “we’re in the shitter people. It’s not my fault, but God, fuck it.”
9:18 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain is still selling the American worker = “fundamental of the economy”
9:18 PMRoss Wolinsky - Nice necklace, Teresa.
9:18 PMMichael Swaim - Yeah, but 80 percent of them make their living on eBay
9:18 PMDan O’Brien - Even if the American worker DID have money, he still wouldn’t be buying that bullshit.
9:18 PMRoss Wolinsky - Congrats: That was the only time you’ll ever be on TV. You blew it.
9:19 PMMichael Swaim - Go SECTION F!!
9:19 PMDan O’Brien - Teresa lost this debate.
9:19 PMMichael Swaim - THat’s my old section.
9:19 PMRoss Wolinsky - Teresa dates Joe Six-Pack.
9:20 PMRoss Wolinsky - I can’t believe that snob Obama is even addressing her.
9:20 PMHbn Gladstone - Quick question: Am I the only blogger not wearing pants right now?
9:20 PMDan O’Brien - Erin says: “I’m late! So Dan, since there’s nobody you want to have sex with…what are we drinking to tonight? Then it’s not like I’m drinking alone, right??”
9:20 PMRoss Wolinsky - He should’ve just said, “Listen, Teresa, sweetheart… either that necklace goes or I do.”
9:20 PMDan O’Brien - Let’s brainstorm some drinking games gentlemen.
9:20 PMMichael Swaim - He should take after Palin and just stare through the camera at all times.
9:20 PMMichael Swaim - Alliteration.
9:20 PMMichael Swaim - Or synechdoche.
9:20 PMHbn Gladstone - Take a drink every time the candidates fail to engage my attention.
9:20 PMRoss Wolinsky - I’m going to take a drink every time I can see a red carpet.
9:20 PMMichael Swaim - There’s one!
9:20 PMMichael Swaim - I think.
9:21 PMDan O’Brien - I’m gonna chug some homemade toilet wine every time one of these guys doesn’t directly answer the question.
9:21 PMDan O’Brien - Any time one of them thanks whoever asks a question, drink.
9:21 PMRoss Wolinsky - I’m going to take a drink every time John McCain doesn’t lift his arms over his head.
9:21 PMHbn Gladstone - I was just gonna say that!
9:21 PMMichael Swaim - Well, if you’re going to drop the ball Dan, I guess I’ll drink every time I stop paying attention and imagine having sex with Sarah Palin.
9:21 PMHbn Gladstone - damn you ross
9:21 PMDan O’Brien - Somebody make sure Ross is okay.
9:21 PMDan O’Brien - Oh I’ll drop the ball all right.
9:22 PMDan O’Brien - Right in Sarah Palin’s mouth.
9:22 PMDan O’Brien - (And then the other one, also.)
9:22 PMRoss Wolinsky - This is completely unrelated, but did everyone hear about the Palin-themed porno?
9:22 PMDan O’Brien - Nailin Palin?
9:22 PMRoss Wolinsky - I believe it’s called “Nailin’ Palin.”
9:22 PMDan O’Brien - Of COURSE.
9:22 PMMichael Swaim - McCain seriously moves his arms and shoulders like a mafioso. I never noticed that before.
9:22 PMHbn Gladstone - It is called that
9:22 PMDan O’Brien - It is.
9:22 PMRoss Wolinsky - I really hope they work the phrase “pork barrel” into the back of the DVD box.
9:22 PMMichael Swaim - It narrowly beat out “Im-Palin’”
9:23 PMDan O’Brien - There’s a three-some between Michelle Obama, Palin and Hilary look alikes
9:23 PMHbn Gladstone - OH this is a real drinking game
9:23 PMRoss Wolinsky - “Impalin’ Palin.”
9:23 PMHbn Gladstone - Drink every time McCain says “My Friends”
9:23 PMRoss Wolinsky - That’s good.
9:23 PMMichael Swaim - Does she wink at camera continuously?
9:23 PMDan O’Brien - “Drill Baby Drill”
9:23 PMRoss Wolinsky - DRILLING OFFSHORE.
9:23 PMDan O’Brien - “Alaska To Take Her Clothes Off”
9:23 PMMichael Swaim - The money shot is a “Gotcha Moment.”
9:23 PMRoss Wolinsky - It’s actually starring Tina Fey. I thought she was doing so well!
9:23 PMHbn Gladstone - “raping the continental shelf”
9:23 PMMichael Swaim - It pans to Katie Couric, who DOESN’T LOOK PLEASED.
9:24 PMMichael Swaim - Palin has to re-take several times.
9:24 PMHbn Gladstone - my friends! drink!!!
9:24 PMDan O’Brien - McCain was asked to prioritize three items, and he said “All of them at the same time.”
9:24 PMRoss Wolinsky - Loinal Warming. I guess that’s a stretch, huh?
9:25 PMDan O’Brien - Twice now he’s said “Reaching across the aisle to Lieberman.” That’s not a joke. that’s just shitty repetitive bullshit.
9:25 PMHbn Gladstone - my friends. Drink!!!!
9:25 PMDan O’Brien - We get it, Lieberman is a shitty democrat.
9:25 PMRoss Wolinsky - Loinal Warming.
9:25 PMMichael Swaim - It’s astounding that they can not answer a question that only has a three word answer.
9:26 PMRoss Wolinsky - $3.80?
9:26 PMRoss Wolinsky - Cry me a fucking river, Nashville.
9:26 PMDan O’Brien - How is anyone supposed to make a decision when the debaters don’t answer the questions?
9:26 PMMichael Swaim - “Let’s do ‘em all at once.” You heard it here first folks. McCain in crazy sex romp.
9:26 PMMichael Swaim - Dan, if you watched CNN, you’d see that their powerful computers have already predicted the campaign’s results in great detail.
9:27 PMHbn Gladstone - I cannot believe this conversation about foreign oil helping terrorists was NOT PART OF THE 2004 DEBATE. They say America always learns its lesson, but 10 years too late. Oh, sorry. uh, boobs.
9:27 PMDan O’Brien - Just in Ohio.
9:27 PMMichael Swaim - It’s over. You voted Obama. In six months, you die of an anyeurism. Get over it.
9:27 PMRoss Wolinsky - Oh great. Obama is about to go through every item in the budget.
9:27 PMRoss Wolinsky - This is going to be BORING.
9:27 PMDan O’Brien - “Senator Obama, you’re over time by about 13 minutes.”
9:27 PMHbn Gladstone - Jeeves, get me a picture of Cheap Trick Live at Budakon, now!
9:27 PMMichael Swaim - He’d call him on it, but he nodded off a minute ago.
9:27 PMRoss Wolinsky - “But he sounds so smart!”
9:28 PMDan O’Brien - “Senator, we still have a LOT to cover here.”
9:28 PMRoss Wolinsky - “You just bored the vote outta me!”
9:28 PMHbn Gladstone - Brokaw, just say “times up!”
9:28 PMDan O’Brien - Ring a bell, or a buzzer or something.
9:28 PMMichael Swaim - So we want facts and specificity, but information bores us. You know what? We DESERVE anything that happens to this country.
9:29 PMMichael Swaim - I’m riding this sinking ship to the motherfucking bottom.
9:29 PMRoss Wolinsky - Do you think the whole “earmarks” thing is just trying to call attention to the fact that Obama has big ears?
9:29 PMHbn Gladstone - So yesterday i guess they all got really excited at the McCain camp about this whole “overhead projector” SCANDAL!!!
9:29 PMDan O’Brien - You guys know what Switzerland does? They haven’t fought in a war in 500 years, but they could destroy any army that tried to enter their lines. Their mountains are lined with explosives. They have more anti-airforce weapons than anyone, and every single person in their country is trained in combat.
9:29 PMDan O’Brien - I’m gonna move to Switzerland.
9:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Great chocolate, too.
9:30 PMHbn Gladstone - I like Swiss Cheese. A lot.
9:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Plus they’ve got those Alps.
9:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Famous.
9:30 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain says we’re not rifle shots. What does that mean??
9:30 PMMichael Swaim - Good luck mutating from the Large Hadron Collider radiation. That thing is a death trap. Black Holes forming at all hours of the night, throwing rowdy parties.
9:35 PMRoss Wolinsky - You know what must be hard? Being one of the talking heads that has to say “Obama made some good points” or “McCain came off as blah blah blah” and not just “Wow - that was the most BORING debate I’ve ever seen.”
9:35 PMMichael Swaim - He wants us to make sacrifices. BIG mistake.
9:35 PMDan O’Brien - “Keith Olberman, who won this debate?”
9:35 PMDan O’Brien - “Fuck if I know.”
9:36 PMMichael Swaim - The day I can’t enjoy a warm glass of gold nog in the morning is the day I move to France.
9:36 PMRoss Wolinsky - “Hey O’Reilly - any ideas?”
9:36 PMDan O’Brien - “FUCK IT”
9:36 PMMichael Swaim - See, he said his louder.
9:36 PMMichael Swaim - Good impersonation.
9:36 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain: “Senator’s Obama that you don’t know is……”
9:36 PMRoss Wolinsky - Is this debate any good in HD?
9:36 PMRoss Wolinsky - Maybe I need HD.
9:36 PMDan O’Brien - The News is NOT bad, McCain.
9:36 PMHbn Gladstone - My Friends! Drink!
9:36 PMDan O’Brien - Huey Lewis just wanted to explore his own creativity.
9:37 PMMichael Swaim - Judging from the spelling decline, I think Wayne may be the only one of us following through on the “getting trashed” live blog promise.
9:37 PMDan O’Brien - He never had a problem with the News, THAT is a fucking lie.
9:37 PMRoss Wolinsky - WHOA - THERE IS A QUESTION FROM THERE INTERNET.
9:37 PMDan O’Brien - I also think he started about four hours before the debate.
9:37 PMDan O’Brien - Obama and Brokaw are going to fight.
9:37 PMRoss Wolinsky - “We have a question from Cracked.com: ‘HEY U GUYS ARE FAGZ LOL.’”
9:37 PMDan O’Brien - And Brokaw is going to lose.
9:37 PMMichael Swaim - The Internet wants to know: “Who am I? What is this strange sentience I am experiencing? Why am I filled with jizz?”
9:38 PMDan O’Brien - The internet wonders “Why did you accidentally the Nation?”
9:38 PMDan O’Brien - Theresa, the bitch who asked an awful question earlier, looks perpetually confused.
9:39 PMHbn Gladstone - STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS LOST A WHEEL!!!
9:39 PMDan O’Brien - “Where AM I?”
9:39 PMHbn Gladstone - REALLY???
9:39 PMMichael Swaim - Brokaw used the word “Coda,” added his own question, and pronounced the phrase “Social Security” as if he’d had two glasses of brandy. I want him to be my father.
9:39 PMDan O’Brien - I bet the one guy who showed up to this debate in a baseball hat feels like such an asshole.
9:39 PMMichael Swaim - Yeah, it’s in the shop till Tuesday. Damn jive turkey jumped right out in front and it ran off the road to truth.
9:40 PMRoss Wolinsky - “THEY SAID BUSINESS CASUAL!!! THIS IS BUSINESS CASUAL!!!”
9:40 PMDan O’Brien - “Hats are NOT casual, you dick. You don’t make the rules!”
9:40 PMMichael Swaim - Is anyone watching this on the channel with the lines? I miss those lines.
9:40 PMHbn Gladstone - the cnn reaction lines?
9:40 PMHbn Gladstone - focus group lines?
9:40 PMMichael Swaim - Yeah.
9:40 PMDan O’Brien - From the comments, Kari says “Senator McCain keeps blinking. This is a sign of lieing.”
9:41 PMDan O’Brien - He might just be having a seizure.
9:41 PMMichael Swaim - How they doin? Like little roller coasters of public opinion.
9:41 PMMichael Swaim - Or rapidly falling asleep and rousing himself.
9:41 PMDan O’Brien - Do you guys know what the REAL problem with social security is?
9:41 PMHbn Gladstone - He’s not blinking. His facial tumor is just attacking his eyes.
9:41 PMRoss Wolinsky - Kari: Senator McCain is very, very old. Give him a break.
9:41 PMMichael Swaim - It IS 9 O’Clock
9:41 PMHbn Gladstone - what DOB?
9:41 PMDan O’Brien - Years ago, Kaizer Wilhelm wanted the rest of his staff to retire, so he could have more power. He noticed they were all over 65, so he made 65 the mandatory retirement age. And it stuck, because bad ideas always stick.
9:42 PMRoss Wolinsky - I’m on the edge of my seat here.
9:42 PMDan O’Brien - That’s it. It’s an arbitrary rule that we still cling to.
9:42 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain wants to recruit “the smartest people in America” He’s good at finding those!
9:42 PMMichael Swaim - Dan’s full of great information that I don’t believe to be true. Like the newspaper!
9:42 PMDan O’Brien - If we raise the age of retirement, and raise the cap for taxes, we’ll solve the economy.
9:42 PMHbn Gladstone - Hey kids, Dan was a History major. Did you know that??
9:43 PMMichael Swaim - And he misspelled “Kaiser.” Just like the newspaper!
9:43 PMRoss Wolinsky - I’m actually liveblogging peeing right now.
9:43 PMRoss Wolinsky - thoughts?
9:43 PMDan O’Brien - The school of Hard Knocks doesn’t have a history department, Gladstone.
9:43 PMMichael Swaim - I think the retirement age should be 85.
9:43 PMDan O’Brien - I studied Political Science.
9:43 PMMichael Swaim - If you want a rocking chair, you earn it by crippling yourself in the mines.
9:43 PMHbn Gladstone - I majored in English but trust me, I won’t be boring any of you with a discussion about symbolism in Alexander Pope’s “The Rape of the Lock”
9:43 PMDan O’Brien - You’ll just be boring us with whatever else you feel like talking about.
9:43 PMMichael Swaim - Section C fails again.
9:43 PMRoss Wolinsky - Just mentioning that was boring.
9:44 PMMichael Swaim - Go section F!
9:44 PMHbn Gladstone - hahahaha
9:44 PMMichael Swaim - Win the debate!
9:44 PMMichael Swaim - We get a pizza party
9:44 PMRoss Wolinsky - Is Section F like Section 8?
9:44 PMHbn Gladstone - “Senator Obama says it has to be safe or something like that”
9:44 PMHbn Gladstone - Is that bad????
9:44 PMMichael Swaim - So the way to be compassionate is to forcibly make everyone “your friends.”
9:44 PMMichael Swaim - Repetition wins again.
9:44 PMDan O’Brien - Gladstone’s not lying, that’s an EXACT QUOTE.
9:45 PMDan O’Brien - Boy, they sure packed that one section with a lot of fat, bald white guys.
9:45 PMHbn Gladstone - I cannot believe McCain would say that
9:45 PMMichael Swaim - That’s section J. No one likes them. They sweep the finals every season.
9:46 PMHbn Gladstone - “Senator Obama says we shouldn’t make rape victims pay for their rape kits.”
9:46 PMMichael Swaim - “What Senator Obama doesn’t understand is, computers are boxes filled with ghosts.”
9:46 PMDan O’Brien - From the comments, tshp says “is mccain going to start posting help wanted adds on Cracked? Is that how he’ll recruit the smartest people in America?”
9:46 PMDan O’Brien - I have nothing funny to say. That’s just true.
9:47 PMRoss Wolinsky - That’s already been happening for a while. We were just contractually obligated not to say anything.
9:47 PMRoss Wolinsky - McCain is actually Ron Burgundy.
9:47 PMMichael Swaim - How do you keep getting these? Are you making them up? Isn’t tshp one of your psuedonyms?
9:47 PMMichael Swaim - There are so few problems you can drill your way out of anymore.
9:47 PMDan O’Brien - “We have 3% of oil reserves, and we use 25% of the world’s oil” Obama just said that. Lieberman said that EXACT THING last week. How am I supposed to trust that they’re responding instinctively?
9:48 PMMichael Swaim - Tunnel collapse, and that’s about it. It’s sad, really. Times they are a-changin’
9:48 PMRoss Wolinsky -
10:12 PMMichael Swaim - I’m back first!
10:12 PMMichael Swaim - I win!
10:12 PMMichael Swaim - So hey, that bug-eyed lady sure was crazy lookin’
10:12 PMMichael Swaim - That whole time, nothing happened worth commenting on. That’s how boring this debate is.
10:12 PMHbn Gladstone - hey we’re back
10:13 PMMichael Swaim - Old news, man. What we need now is a cool hand on the tiller of this blog.
10:13 PMHbn Gladstone - Jeeves, give me a damn picture of David Bowie reclining on Mick Jagger’s lap, NOW!
10:13 PMMichael Swaim - “Use force, but talk softly…but carry a big stick.” I’m pretty sure his platform is rape.
10:14 PMRoss Wolinsky - Hey-o
10:14 PMDan O’Brien - Phew.
10:14 PMMichael Swaim - Obama says “Pahk-ee-stahn.” He’s the OPPOSITE of “Nucular.”
10:14 PMRoss Wolinsky - Literally 1,000 jokes just got lost in the internet tubes there.
10:14 PMHbn Gladstone -
10:14 PMMichael Swaim - And they were the best ones too
10:15 PMDan O’Brien - You know what bugs me? Obama and McCain are repeating, verbatim, a few lines that Biden and Palin respectively said a week ago.
10:15 PMRoss Wolinsky - Most of them were about Teddy Roosevelt and chinese food.
10:15 PMMichael Swaim - Oh well, I’ll use them in my next article
10:15 PMHbn Gladstone - Thank you Jeeves!
10:15 PMDan O’Brien - It’s not a debate if you’re just awkwardly segue-ing into talking points.
10:15 PMMichael Swaim - On the plus side, they’re closer to coming to physical altercations than at any other point in the debate.
10:15 PMHbn Gladstone - Oh wow!!!! McCain just said “young Americans” right after I posted a bowie pic!!!!!!!
10:15 PMRoss Wolinsky - Now I can’t stop picturing McCain with a giant handlebar mustache and monacle.
10:15 PMMichael Swaim - He’s in his Golden Years
10:16 PMDan O’Brien - Boy, there sure are a lot of bald, fat white guys in the audience.
10:16 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain knows how to get Bin Laden? This sounds a lot like Nixon’s “secret plan” to end Vietnam.
10:16 PMDan O’Brien - Barack is 33% of the black population in this debate.
10:16 PMMichael Swaim -
10:16 PMMichael Swaim - In case anyone hasn’t seen this
10:16 PMMichael Swaim - It’s pretty terrible
10:16 PMMichael Swaim - And he’s glossing over it as we speak.
10:17 PMMichael Swaim - Barack’s half-white, so that’s like 16.5%
10:17 PMDan O’Brien - Yikes.
10:17 PMDan O’Brien - He says “We” want a democracy in Afghanistan.
10:17 PMHbn Gladstone - and DOB is allegedly 1/8th black
10:18 PMDan O’Brien - I don’t want a democracy in Afghanistan.
10:18 PMRoss Wolinsky - Can I insert his joke about which 1/8 of him is black for him?
10:18 PMHbn Gladstone - Amen
10:18 PMMichael Swaim - That’s why he can kind of jump, but not really.
10:18 PMDan O’Brien - Only if I can insert your answer into your sister.
10:18 PMHbn Gladstone - Democracy in Afghanistan is like a new form of cancer featuring leprosy
10:18 PMHbn Gladstone - oh wait, that’s a new Sex and City starring Miley Cyrus
10:19 PMMichael Swaim - Double the size of the Afghan army?! Are you crazy?! Wait, they’re bad guys, right?
10:19 PMDan O’Brien - Hannah Montana is responsible for the war.
10:19 PMHbn Gladstone - I really only understand HBN at this point.
10:19 PMDan O’Brien - You’re the only one, Gladstone.
10:19 PMMichael Swaim - Her snake-treads are all over this.
10:19 PMRoss Wolinsky - Will you please stop plugging your own series Gladstone?
10:19 PMRoss Wolinsky - Christ.
10:19 PMMichael Swaim - Hey! you’re forgetting several preteen Australian girls.
10:19 PMDan O’Brien - Did you know he has a facebook group?
10:19 PMRoss Wolinsky - Does he?
10:19 PMHbn Gladstone - at 1030 i’m going to say “that’s all….. for now.”
10:19 PMMichael Swaim - I’m an officer.
10:20 PMRoss Wolinsky - Hey Wayne, what song is that at the end?
10:20 PMMichael Swaim - My official title is “Cool Hand At The Tiller”
10:20 PMHbn Gladstone - All my facebook friends have been asleep for hours. It’s a school night.
10:20 PMDan O’Brien - “Here’s to the Night” by Eve 6
10:20 PMHbn Gladstone - hahahahahaha
10:20 PMDan O’Brien - Oh, hey there’s a debate happening.
10:20 PMRoss Wolinsky - “I’m Blue Da-Boo-Dee Da-Boo-Dah” by Whoever Wrote That
10:20 PMRoss Wolinsky - I CANNOT PAY ATTENTION TO THIS DEBATE.
10:21 PMMichael Swaim - I thought McCain’s worst line from the last debate was “Mr. Putin’s eyes have a K, a G, and a B” and he just awkwardly forced it in again. Did that one score high with a test group or something?
10:21 PMDan O’Brien - McCain says we need to change Russia’s behavior.
10:21 PMHbn Gladstone - Did McCain just say he wants to go to war with Georgia. Aren’t they a red state?
10:21 PMRoss Wolinsky - I’m not gonna lie: Without Palin’s weird neck and Biden’s coin slot eyes I have no interest in watching political theater.
10:21 PMDan O’Brien - Me neither.
10:21 PMMichael Swaim - It’s not theatre. Theatre has a story arc.
10:21 PMDan O’Brien - Plus, Palin keeps asking me to come to bed.
10:21 PMDan O’Brien - “In a MINUTE, Sarah.”
10:21 PMHbn Gladstone - This is the worst debate ever.
10:21 PMHbn Gladstone - ever.
10:22 PMMichael Swaim - You type what you say? That’s weird.
10:22 PMRoss Wolinsky - They should just do a picture-in-picture with Palin’s face in the corner.
10:22 PMDan O’Brien - She’s sassy and all, but she is ANNOYING. And she farts in her sleep.
10:22 PMHbn Gladstone - When i look into putin’s eyes, i see 3 different letters.
10:22 PMHbn Gladstone - HBN.
10:22 PMDan O’Brien - Oh, hold up, guys, Sarah wants to blog.
10:22 PMHbn Gladstone - he’s a big fan. (He has a 16 yr old daughter)
10:22 PMDan O’Brien - Hi gang, what’s ^?
10:22 PMMichael Swaim - No, SARAH!
10:22 PMMichael Swaim - Dammit
10:22 PMMichael Swaim - Sigh.
10:22 PMRoss Wolinsky - This works out well, because Biden’s here with me.
10:22 PMHbn Gladstone - Hi Sarah!
10:22 PMDan O’Brien - LOL these debates are teh boring debates. Remember my debate?
10:23 PMMichael Swaim - Hey. HOw’s it going? Boning Dan?
10:23 PMHbn Gladstone - What’s sex with DOB like?
10:23 PMDan O’Brien - I can barely walk!
10:23 PMMichael Swaim - Uh-huh. I remember you stuttering a lot and sporting a turkey neck.
10:23 PMMichael Swaim - That was you, right?
10:23 PMDan O’Brien - I thought moose-wrestling was hairy and exhausting. I had no idea!
10:23 PMRoss Wolinsky - Hey guys - Joe Biden here. I’d like to remind you all that I have lots of foreign policy experience.
10:23 PMMichael Swaim - You should rip Dan open and photograph him bleeding out in the snow.
10:24 PMMichael Swaim - Bring your daughter.
10:24 PMMichael Swaim - Great photo op. Plus, he gets off on it.
10:24 PMRoss Wolinsky - If Joe Biden were elected VP, he would make what Swaim is talking about illegal.
10:24 PMDan O’Brien - Hockey Mom, more like COCKEY Mom, right?
10:24 PMRoss Wolinsky - Joe Biden understands death. And laws.
10:24 PMMichael Swaim - Wait, is Sarah saying that about herself? I’m confused, and horny.
10:24 PMHbn Gladstone - New drinking game: Take a drink each time McCain’s tumor devours his entire head.
10:25 PMHbn Gladstone - Holy crap
10:25 PMDan O’Brien - I’m actually having a little trouble keeping up, too.
10:25 PMHbn Gladstone - another bald guy in the audience????
10:25 PMDan O’Brien - I told you.
10:25 PMMichael Swaim - Terri Sherri? Aren’t those the twins from the Simpsons?
10:25 PMHbn Gladstone - Is this a convention? And why is a dude in the deep south so concerned about Israel?
10:25 PMDan O’Brien - That bald white guy is alarmingly concerned about Israel.
10:25 PMMichael Swaim - He’s obviously a Rabbi.
10:25 PMRoss Wolinsky - He just heard about it in the VP debate.
10:26 PMMichael Swaim - Do it McCain. Kiss him.
10:26 PMRoss Wolinsky - “I heard a lot about this Israel thing in the VP debates. What are you going to do about all that?!”
10:26 PMMichael Swaim - China=obstacle. I couldn’t agree more.
10:26 PMHbn Gladstone - He just heard that Jews must occupy Jerusalem as a prerequisite to the second coming
10:26 PMDan O’Brien - I feel like these people are CLEARLY fed their questions. If a real human being was in the crowd, they’d ask “Hey, what the fuck? The country kinda blows right now. America used to be, like, a third boob, but now we’re bullshit. What gives?”
10:27 PMMichael Swaim - Total Recall reference number 1. Let’s hit 8 guys!
10:27 PMDan O’Brien - McCAin has no idea which bald guy to talk to.
10:27 PMRoss Wolinsky - Where’s this guy from? Mars?
10:27 PMMichael Swaim - That bug-eyed lady looked like Shwarzenneger on the surface of Mars.
10:27 PMDan O’Brien - The one black chick keeps changing her nail-color, effortlessly, with a little device.
10:27 PMHbn Gladstone -
10:28 PMRoss Wolinsky - Man… I have a drink and a liveblog to do. I wish I had three hands.
10:28 PMMichael Swaim - COHAAGEENNNN!!!
10:28 PMHbn Gladstone - Thanks Jeeves!!!
10:28 PMDan O’Brien - This debate is over in two minutes, and no one said anything. Nobody.
10:29 PMMichael Swaim - BTW, McCain yet again boldly spoke out against allowing a second Holocaust.
10:29 PMDan O’Brien - If I wasn’t already an informed and well-read citizen, this debate would be deeply frustrating.
10:29 PMHbn Gladstone - This is the worst debate ever
10:29 PMRoss Wolinsky - They might have. I’ve just been focusing on the red carpet and drinking an entire fifth of Jim Beam.
10:29 PMMichael Swaim - Plus I learned a new old-timey phrase. I love those.
10:29 PMHbn Gladstone - Hey Obama said “dire consequences” Reminds me of cracked reader “direwookie” who was mention in the last Hate By Nubmers post!
10:29 PMDan O’Brien - I’m all out of toilet wine.
10:29 PMHbn Gladstone - I can’t feel my lips.
10:29 PMRoss Wolinsky - So wait… McCain is AGAINST the holocaust, right?
10:30 PMMichael Swaim - I can feel your lips, Gladstone.
10:30 PMDan O’Brien - Just a second one.
10:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Fuck it - I’m voting for McCain.
10:30 PMDan O’Brien - He has no qualms with the first.
10:30 PMMichael Swaim - He’d strongly consider opposing a second Holocaust.
10:30 PMHbn Gladstone - last question: “What don’t you know and how will you learn it?”
10:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Did you see the look that white guy just gave Michelle Obama?
10:30 PMHbn Gladstone - I don’t know nothing bout birthing no babies
10:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Questionable at best.
10:30 PMMichael Swaim - I got that question on the Dating Game.
10:31 PMDan O’Brien - Did you answer it better than barack?
10:31 PMDan O’Brien - I have to assume you did.
10:31 PMMichael Swaim - Needless to say, I burst through the divider and ravished the woman then and there.
10:31 PMDan O’Brien - “Senator, what don’t you know?” “I’d like to tell you a story about my mother.
10:31 PMHbn Gladstone - I got that question on “American’s Next Top Zen Philosopher”
10:31 PMRoss Wolinsky - So was that what you didn’t know or how you learned it?
10:31 PMMichael Swaim - I think I said something about a second Holocaust. Then is was all 70’s boots and hot flesh.
10:31 PMMichael Swaim - Both.
10:31 PMMichael Swaim - It’s a zen answer
10:31 PMMichael Swaim - For a zen question
10:32 PMRoss Wolinsky - Be the vagina.
10:32 PMMichael Swaim - Zen means bullshit.
10:32 PMRoss Wolinsky - Or… There is no vagina.
10:32 PMHbn Gladstone - the right answer?
10:32 PMRoss Wolinsky - The sound of one buttcheek clapping.
10:32 PMHbn Gladstone - “I don’t know that John McCain doesn’t rape puppies.”
10:32 PMRoss Wolinsky - Christ. I’m horny.
10:32 PMDan O’Brien - “He’s never explicitly said that he doesn’t rape puppies. Weird, right?”
10:32 PMMichael Swaim - So in the end, Barack appeals to the youth and McCain appeals to the military. I could have told you that months ago.
10:33 PMMichael Swaim - WithOUT having to pretend to be funny for an hour.
10:33 PMHbn Gladstone - I have to hit the bathroom
10:33 PMMichael Swaim - Hit it. Hard.
10:33 PMHbn Gladstone - but i’m holding it for the cracked readers
10:33 PMDan O’Brien - “I don’t know what the unexpected will be.”
10:33 PMMichael Swaim - “I’m not sure what this growth is.”
10:33 PMHbn Gladstone - “i know what it’s like to live with a huge facial tumor and pretend i’m fit to run for president”
10:33 PMDan O’Brien - So we can rule out McCain as a wizard. There goes a fucking decade of research,.
10:33 PMRoss Wolinsky - “I don’t know what it’s like to lift your arms above your head.”
10:33 PMMichael Swaim - “I don’t know the deal with airline food. Am I right?”
10:41 PMMichael Swaim - Gladstone–catheterized and grumpy.
10:41 PMDan O’Brien - Better than assjack
10:41 PMMichael Swaim - And several other of the seven drawves as well.
10:41 PMMichael Swaim - So…
10:41 PMMichael Swaim - WHat are you guys doing later?
10:41 PMRoss Wolinsky - Jack of all trades.
10:41 PMDan O’Brien - Hey, this was boring. If anyone reading along at home is an attractive lady, please email me naked pictures of yourself so this night isn’t a total waste of time. I promise I’ll look at them.
10:41 PMRoss Wolinsky - Dan: Forward those to me if you get any.
10:41 PMMichael Swaim - Oh, shit. Me too! Is that a thing we can ask?
10:42 PMDan O’Brien - I have to run to Staples to fax something (jax something), but other than that I’m free.
10:42 PMMichael Swaim - Well shit man, let’s not hang out or see each other.
10:42 PMRoss Wolinsky - I’ll be at home, listening to Klick and Jack on NPR.
10:42 PMMichael Swaim - GOONIGHT EVERBUDDY!
10:42 PMHbn Gladstone - A gentleman doesn’t ASK for naked pics. he just receives them and then destroys them because they are from underaged girls.
10:43 PMDan O’Brien - What about my blogging thusfar has implied that I’m a gentleman?
10:43 PMRoss Wolinsky - Wow… a mediocre end to a mediocre night. Thanks for hanging out, guys (not Gladstone - everyone else)!
10:43 PMDan O’Brien - Goodnight, Swaim Theory!
10:43 PMHbn Gladstone - Oh, Machete, you’re so young.
10:44 PMHbn Gladstone - “O’Brien … over you.”
10:44 PMDan O’Brien - Young, and fit, and vaguely black.
10:44 PMHbn Gladstone - (that was to the tune of Orbison’s Cryin’)
10:45 PMHbn Gladstone - Well, I hope you reader’s had some fun. Later.
10:45 PMDan O’Brien - Fascinating. I’m out
10:45 PMRoss Wolinsky - GOOOODBYE! GLAAAADSTONE! (ba da dah)
10:45 PMRoss Wolinsky - GOOOOOOODBYE! GLAAAAAADSTONE! (ba da dah)
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They should have given Brokaw a Nerf Ballzooka to peg the candidates every time they went over the time limit or tried to talk outside the previously-agreed-upon debate rules. Republican or Democrat? WRONG.
Hmm at the moment I am thinking Obama has the upper hand at the moment. There is still time for Mccain to make a possible come back. (Hopefully he won’t)
McCain just implied he has “cool hands at the tiller.” Way to appeal to the youth vote. Next he’ll say, “My message sounds off clearly like an RCA Victrola.”
This has been bugging me for a while now, but I finally figured out who McCain reminds me of: the grandpa from King of the Hill. Look at the way he moves! Does this motherfucker ever bend his knees?
How are you gonna pay for those hair transplants? Eh, McCain? Sure Obama, pull the my mother died at 53 and the big scary insurance companies made her cry.
I wish Nasty Daddy McCain would stop ending his sentences on a high whiny pitch. It makes him seem like he’s pleading for understanding… Did he do something bad?
We drill offshore. Everyone thinks there’s more oil and buys more. (When really it won’t be available for years.) And that drives the price down. WHAT?! Supply and demand, man, supply and demand.
Jesus! Bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing, intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out! The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes.
Social Security was supposed to be temporary! It was designed to help old people who lost everything in the Great Depression survive. It was never supposed to last this long.
Tee hee you people are all so stupid… that’s why I’m going to be the president… Is this reality or am I having a PTSD flashback… Medicare… tough… SOcial Security… no problem..
Commissions… so effective! UP OR DOWN… no fooling around no more: FIX IT FOR US!!!
I’m sorry I said McCain needs a massage… it’s obviously a result of being in a cage for too long. Rah Raw Rah… golly gee guys… go out and get that health insurance you want!
Will he include massages?
I have a friend who, when she heard about the first tower falling, said, “Sweet, maybe there will be a war!”
Now every September 11th she looks at the clock at 9:11. Without meaning to. Her words are always the same: “son of a bitch!”
Wow, this is a lot easier to read when my browser decides not to load the bloggers’ avatars. Cut out the pictures, guys, and I don’ t have to scroll 50 pages to read both the posts and the comments.
they should really jazz up the set there. i mean what the fuck red and blue? how about some jazzy neon or something. i need something to keep my attention
McCain, we already have something called the “Federal Oversight Committee” that does that shit!
Hey, Im’a create some new shit we already have! watch me waste money already being wasted somewhere else for the exact same purpose!
Woah..OH THE BOMB sounds to together for America. Then again, I think senility might be an asset to help with the … well… you know…
TIME TIME TIME.. oh Tom give it a rest
Who here is sending a question in ???
Don’t tell me you can work on three things at once when you have to write ‘em all down at the same time you’re being told to discuss them! Old dingbat!
Nailin Palin
From TMZ:
The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”
There’s also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.
Thats the shittiest looking town hall I have ever seen.
FYI: my drinking game is beating my wife everytime McCain refers to himself as a maverick. Then I take the same amount of drinks as the # of teeth I knock out
You guys should also record what you’re blogging and post it with a timer so when people who aren’t watching this come to read it later it can make sense and be even more hilarious and awesome.
sometimes i think america is full of morons, then i realize, its not full, we can fit more in here
look who we elect, morons each time….
GLADSTONE FOR PREZ WRITE IT IN
In the TV movie that is inevitably made about this election, I’m hoping to see Conrad Bain and TV’s Levar Burton cast as the main characters. If Conrad Bain is still alive, that is.
maybe i’m wrong, but it seems they would be left behind when a debate strayed away from what they wanted to talk about and they would be even more obnoxious about it than Palin was.
well brian, it seems pretty clear that the other candidates have no chance of winning a debate. ron paul would do nothing but say he is a classic conservative and a strict constitutionalist (whatever that means) and ralph nader would bluster around about corporations being evil and how he was right all those years and the financial crisis could be solved with 3 anti-trust laws he has devised while shitting on the toilet. also, is it just me or was Cracked mentioned on last week’s Family Guy episode by Jesus Christ? cause i’m pretty sure it happened.
I am Canadian. As such, I am obligated to say that we are, essentially, Planet America’s moon. Sure, you may ignore us and take us for granted and only really show an interest when we actually do something special (like turn red, blot out the sun - whose identity in this metaphor is up for debate - or provide stronger, more accessible beer for your youth) but I guarentee that if we ever left, you’d all be awash in a devasting tidal wave of water. I’m not sure what that’d be. Maybe nuclear radiation. Maybe China. But you’d all get awash in something. So beware! Beware…
October 7th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
They should have given Brokaw a Nerf Ballzooka to peg the candidates every time they went over the time limit or tried to talk outside the previously-agreed-upon debate rules. Republican or Democrat? WRONG.
It’s Nerf Or Nothin’.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
any hopes for having a liveblog about something other than the debates? hangin with mr cooper? or perhaps an arrested development marathon, come on
October 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
well, that last ten minutes when Jack came in was more exciting than the entire debate, right there.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Fantastic, no matter who won, I ended the debate with double vision. I win.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Bye
October 7th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
Thank you, gentlemen (and DOB), for a most entertaining evening.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
I almost died of the hilarity of the “nobody’s clapping” comment, Ross.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
I’ll never be over DOB…
October 7th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
The seventies dude is tripping
October 7th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
I love how McCain cliams that he’s made responsible choices for his entire military career. How about the “getting captured by the enemy” bit?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Swaim, i fucking love you. That was awesome.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
One of these guys becomes president?! Holy fuck.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
Swaim dammit don’t crash it again!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:17 pm
DID I DO A GOOD JOB GLADSTONE?!!?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
my friends, DRINK
October 7th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
how long does this go? I’m bored, but I don’t have anything else to do.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
John McCain’s solution for handling a crisis: sitting in a bamboo cage for 5 years.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
These guys have the conversational skills of me. ME! They’re THAT bad!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Does he think we still use telegraphs?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
One night in bagdad(dy) makes the tough men tumble…
why does mcCain stick out his tongue like a snake in the grass
I’ll get him no matter what… HSSSSSS
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
lol
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
I think they should speak softer but fight instead. With big fecking sticks. 2 minute rounds.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Hmm at the moment I am thinking Obama has the upper hand at the moment. There is still time for Mccain to make a possible come back. (Hopefully he won’t)
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
he sang bomb bomb bomb iran? i want to hear this song, dammit.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
The power of Ron Burgundy was much too strong.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Whats up with the time?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Did a do a good job as your stand in gladstone?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Obama uses big words such as “kill” and “Americans” to try to scare us. Also…did he just say pocketsan?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I will vote for whoever allows me to gay marry Swaim.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
snap
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
the way BO says pakistan makes me want to hurt him…
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
The idea of this man as president makes my testicles curl into themselves. Like, seriously implode.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
ahahaha
bomb bomb iran bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb iran
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Did obama say take him out or ask him out?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
I think we just declared war on Pakistan
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
He just totally ripped off Teddy Roosevelt. I suppose it’s fair, though- he was around when Teddy said it.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Woah Woah guys calm down! No one wants to see McCain dead from over exertion…..
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
I’ve got a cool hand on my “tiller” if you know what I’m saying.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
does anyone remember ‘bomb bomb iran” songs???
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Michael Swaim, she has hyperthyroidism.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
McCain: “Walk softly but carry a big stick.”
Biden: “Get on the stick!”
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
streaming it from hulu
also
“walk softly and carry a big stick”
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Let’s pull out the boxing gloves
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
“Speak softly.” You don’t know SHIT about Big Stick Diplomacy.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
WooHoo! Liveblog coup d’etat! We’ve overthrown the oppressive paid commenter pig-dogs!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
So, I guess Swaim wins life forever.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Another Teddy quote: “A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues.”
October 7th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
wait for it - wait for Obama to slap mccain’s ass right ,,,,about now
October 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
mcain just compared Star Wars to Iraq.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
San Juan Hill is the new Tora Bora
October 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Teddy Roosevelt? McCain seems more like a James K Polk man to me.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Teddy Roosevelt? Seriously? What’s next? Are we invading Cuba?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Big Stick… you show us John… cause we know if you claim you gotta big one it’s all in the eye of the beholder.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
My friends, I used to fuck Teddy Roosevelt’s daughter
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
DOn’t you talk about TR like you fucking know him, because you DON’T.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
W00t!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
obama laughing at mcain’s dis is so smooth - that dude rocks
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
It’s “Speak softly,” McCain, you stupid son of a bitch.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
If you don’t have tv, you can listen to the debate live on npr.org
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
McCain has a big stick.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
HOOPLAH!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Woah, is Teddy Roosevelt your hero or Ronald Reagan? Make up your mind, McCain!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
yay it’s back!!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Obama plans to lay the fist of justice on bin Laden.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
MOOOOOO!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Mcain can’t stop dinosaurs
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Does anyone else find it wierd that he knows what the terrorist are planning and where they are…?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Rachel has been appointed as the chief operations officer in charge of lube.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Ross Wolinsky has lost my vote…..
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
The terrorists are stronger than ever. Power level…OVER NINE THOUSAND!?!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
I need the blog. The debate is fucking boring. Help me, Cracked.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
uh oh look at obama’s hand movement I’d know that anywhere hes using the jedi mind trick
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
“Sometimes nothin’ can be a real cool hand.”
He is almost as old as Paul Newman…
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Ain’t this here debate in Tennessee? Where’s the overalls? Where’s the moonshine? Where’s the southern accents?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Bullshit.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
The politics of failure have failed. We need to make them work again.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
That was the woman with the eyes again, sitting next to the girl who asked the question….
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Newsflash McCain; Not everyone there is your friend!
“My first priority after this priority”; Wouldn’t that be his 2nd priority?
Did he just say masturbating?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Mcain: “Yeah, I’m gonna stop the Holocaust, 9/11, AND the dinosaurs!”
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
don’t look her in the eyes!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
McCain Doctrine = 40 acres & a mule.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Did you guys see that crazy bug-eyed woman next to Katie Hamm? Also, was her name seriously Katie Hamm?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
HOLY SHIT DID YOU GUYS SEE THE LADY IN THE CROWD WITH THE BUG EYES! FUKKING A!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
“Our most precious resource, American blood.” I was wondering how he was staying alive- he’s a vampire. Or a zombie, he looks a bit decayed.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
“We have to say ‘never again’ to the Holocaust.” There’s a REAL controversial stance.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
McCain raped that poor woman with the red noose around her neck!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
What is Rachel Dratch doing in the audience?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
McCains heavy breathing is creeping me out or turning me on. I can’t tell.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
“that’s my first priority right after national security” i’m not quite sure but wouldn’t that make it not first priority
October 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
We’re going to fight terrorism with blood? That’s totally metal!!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Wait did I say “drink”? I meant “seed”.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
But now we’re back, and hateful as ever.
Vote McCain: A cool hand at the tiller, and other arcane expressions no one has ever heard before.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
McCain just implied he has “cool hands at the tiller.” Way to appeal to the youth vote. Next he’ll say, “My message sounds off clearly like an RCA Victrola.”
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
speak for yourself Mr PTSD: you might have withdrawn in humiliation but not us!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
“the computer was made by a bunch of scientists” by senator obama
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Gladstone spilled his drink on his keyboard and broke the internet. Feel free to thank him in the comments.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Drink X 2!! My friends
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Once again, McCain elaborates that he is strongly against losing wars. I’m glad he clarified that.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
The feed isn’t working on my page anymore!! No matter how many times I refreshes it…
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
McCain will be Robert Redford to the soldiers’ Owen Wilson. McCain is The Dark Knight!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
ScribbleLive should be back in business in a minute. For now the bloggers will be posting in the comment section.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Hey look I’m down here now! Obama and McCain were so gravely interesting that we all just lost track of time.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
McCain: “Let me just follow up by saying, Obama’s momma is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it just says, ‘Daaayummn’.”
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
My friends, I have just soiled my Depend.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
And again! This debate is looking up!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I think he uses his hand to pump up and down a bit too much… Where did he learn that?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I think some of the audience is CGI. And not very well done either.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Hi Gladstone.
Did your tech-support join in on the drinking game?
A bucket of ice water should take care of that…
October 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
HA
vote obama.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Ooh, my friends! Drink! It had been a while, I was starting to sober up.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
My friends! Drink!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
scribblelive rules!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
i really with that the debate would be interupted by something more important like starship troopers
October 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
OH NO we can’t be everywhere all the time? That’s not what Saint Anne Thrax says.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Obama just said he would have stopped the Holocaust if he could. Bold position.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
McCain remembers the Pirate Era very well. (ha ha he’s old)
October 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
I must admit the debate is retarded without you guys narrating it.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
bitch we did stop the holocost
October 7th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Cracked Liveblogs the Presidential Debate LIVE!
>>>>>> ruined by ScribbleLive
October 7th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Obama’s doctrine: get Don Cheadle back to Rwanda.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Brokaw is getting a little pissy… “IM TOM BROKAW BITCHES”
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
McCain needs to sit down. For Good>
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
what happened? i need your sexy commentary
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
What time does the Baghdad Stock Exchange open? Just curious is all.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Screw it, I am gonna go drink till I pass out. Somebody fill me in on what goes down.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I bet McCain has a hidden gun under his desk…
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Why the hell is McCain always standing up!? Just sit the hell down.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
How’s an aussie girl meant to enjoy a debate she can’t stream if ScribbleLive insists on being down?
This is BS this is…
Damn governmental censorships bastards…
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
alright my friends, New Drinking game. Every time they go over the time limit, chug a miller lite. You’ll be wasted in 3 minutes
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
I’m not sure it’s worth it to keep watching now that the blog has died. *sigh*
October 7th, 2008 at 9:03 pm
This has been bugging me for a while now, but I finally figured out who McCain reminds me of: the grandpa from King of the Hill. Look at the way he moves! Does this motherfucker ever bend his knees?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Oh my god you killed Scribblelive servers!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Did anyone just picture McCain as a cheerleader?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
If Obama doesn’t understand, there would be a Fresh Prince song about it, right?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Obama is a peacemaker, and McCain needs a pacemaker!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:02 pm
wow McCain has a great comb-over!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Did Obama just bad mouth Delaware?!?!?!?!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I was zoning out and I heard McCain say “treasure”.
Is he a pirate?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
WRONG WRONG WRONG… oh so wrong… on the job training my friend.
We’ll see you in the parking lot after work!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Poor, McCain. He still believes with all his heart that the earth has corners.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
O’Brien’s deal with the devil ran out.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I name myself the Gladstone Stand in!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Is 9:48 the end? like the blinking 12:00 when you get a power out?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Hi. We’re having techincal difficulties.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
i didn’t know john mccain thinks my tank of gas is a national security issue
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Yes McCain, know when to go in and when to not is a good idea.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Christ, on CNN the approval for females while Obama is speaking is like Milhouse when ‘Speedo Man’ comes on during the Itchy and Scratchy focus group.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Come back, DOB, come back! I’m Sarah Palin and I WANT YOU, BABY!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Wasn’t the bald guy in the green shirt on America’s Funnies home videos?
October 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
i bet McCain is awesome at pop-lockin
October 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Wait that’s me… greatest force for peace in the world… hand me a hanky!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Damn you BURGUNDY!!!!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
thank god - mccain finally thanked someone for their question - we need some more politeness here
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
I think he’s going to cry!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
No one cares about the fine, McCain.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
oh shit, we’re switching gears! everybody hold the fuck on!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
How come Obama said mammograms, but wouldn’t say pap smear?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
nice. I wrote 9:8 instead of 9:48.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
brokaw just interrupted the shit out of him.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
tom brokaw cannot stop the obama train
October 7th, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Check out the CNN lines…. chicks dig Obama
October 7th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
My friends, the fundamental point is that ScribbleLive has died on us. Fundamentally.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
How are you gonna pay for those hair transplants? Eh, McCain? Sure Obama, pull the my mother died at 53 and the big scary insurance companies made her cry.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Obama Doesn’t play by the rules.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
This seems broken and stuck at 9:8 pm.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Why is it frozen?!?!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
did McCain just say “gold plated caddilacs”?!?!?!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Ron…Burgandy…?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
I wish Nasty Daddy McCain would stop ending his sentences on a high whiny pitch. It makes him seem like he’s pleading for understanding… Did he do something bad?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
theyre too busy updating twitter
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
is it just me or does john mccain remind anyone else of toadman from megaman?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
Jesus balls, that hair transplant joke was funny.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
DAMN YOU, SCRIBBLELIVE! RIGHT DURING THE DEBATE! IT’S BORING AS HELL, BUT STILL!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
you guys, we are too awesome for the internet to handle!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
John McCain shut down the live stream to prevent Cracked.com writers from discussing such an important night
October 7th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
a vote for Obama is a vote for Cracked readers!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
mccain your fucking minute is up
October 7th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
the hair transplant joke was kinda funny
October 7th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Wow… I guess Ron really is kind of a big deal
October 7th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Just like when he drives around town, McCain simply ignores the red light.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
i would love a gold plated caddie
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
has mccain not learned that “tax credits” don’t really do anything?
we’ve had them during bush, and we’re still in the crapper.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
scribblelive site is down. we must have taken them out with the sheer girth of our bandwidth. yeah, you like that scribblelive? yeah. it’s so big…
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
What, McCain died? I fell asleep….
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
ok, commentors! the writers are down, start spewing the best jokes you can! Cracked must go on!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
no one’s saying anything! what am i to think?!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
6:53
“Senator Obama will find you!”
Creepy both in and out of context.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Wolinsky’s virus-ridden image shut down the blog. Fascist!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
This is silly. “Oh yeah!? This is what He’s doing!”
“Oh yeah!? This is what -he’s- doing.”
It’s like they are damn tattletales or something, narking to Professor Brokaw for an A.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Someone broke them.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
note: All mammograms performed by Obama
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
It looks like they’ve crashed
its just stuck at the anchorman photo
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Quit violating the audiences boundaries!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
I think they may have fallen into a liquor induced coma.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:53 pm
The ScribbleLive website is down, I guess too many people using their service
October 7th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
OH NOOOOO!!! ITS DIED!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
LOOK AT US IN THE COMMENTS, trying to be as funny as the fab 4
also, “taketh”? Really?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Tom Brokaw doesn’t like it when Obama asks questions besides “Why is daddy McCain so cranky today?” and “Wow, Michelle Obama looks like shit.”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
It’s 6:51 and none of the bloggers have commented in the last three minutes…I suspect this dry, tedious debate has sapped them of their humor.
Or perhaps they’ve all drunk themselves into a stupor.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Why no posts after 9:48 so far?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Don’t forget the gps implants!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Ron Burgundy kills the blog.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Did you guy shutup? I can’t see anything after the Anchorman photo.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Hito no time for that… Please watch the stop and go lights
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
I say that McCain, Obama, and Brokaw should just throw down. The survivor gets presidency.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
my friends, you missed it! FAIL!!! DRINK!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
We drill offshore. Everyone thinks there’s more oil and buys more. (When really it won’t be available for years.) And that drives the price down. WHAT?! Supply and demand, man, supply and demand.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Is it just me, or does Tom Brokaw seem to want to make out with John McCain? I don’t blame him, he’s got a very sexy grandpa aura about him.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
guy in blue is still feeling himself
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
We’ve got to drill off-shore… is he hitting on Palin? Ewww.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Why did all the bald people in the audience grease their heads?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Joe Sixpack Drills Palin. Her husband isn’t looking, but Bristol stole the idea and got herself pregnant. -That is all true.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
McCain sure likes talking about “goodies.” He knows we’re all thinking about Palin when he says that.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Obama: “YOU people? what do you mean YOU PEOPLE?”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
is Mccain even going to answer the question or just talk about how Obama has voted in the past
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
The way McCain says goodies is creepy.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Who else is reminded of “Kids say the darndest things” by this stage setup?
Look Obama sits just like Bill Cosby!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
they need the stop light system explained to them? Oh yeah these are the guys we want to run the county…
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
I like how they walk past the lights that tell them when their time is up, yet they fail to see them somehow.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
mccain just BURNED obama on that energy bill.
yes you smug sunnuva bitch you got BURNED
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
goodies…
pretty creepy??
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
McCain uses Sex Panther, and if your watching CNN you will notice 33% of the time, it works ALL the time.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
mccain just called obama “that one”
WOWIE
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
McCain is a dick
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
“that one!” asshole
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
lol that one…you know those people
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
What I don’t understand is how all of those people have been sitting so perfectly still this entire time. My ass would be completely asleep.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
ooo that one
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
McCain is colorblind
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
He looks like a kid caught raiding the cookie jar…
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Mccain walks like a hunchback.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
if you consider palins vagina a problem
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Is what my 14 year old self would have said.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Tom Brokaw just owned these beeatches!!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
So if you read the comments, it’s a town hall commenting session on a town hall debate.
Is there a reaction to the cracked.com liveblog liveblog? How long does this go?!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Brokaw’s pissed!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Gladstone is sexy
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
You can always “drill your way out of the problem”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I love you, DOB
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Obama just said, McCain talks alot about drilling…
I can support that.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
im at the debate right now. I’m in section b on my cell phone. GO CRACKED!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
ive tried to drill my way out of a lot of problems
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Anyone else here drunk as fuck?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Why does McCain refuse to move one of his arms? Lost his oil can?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
McCain’s pen was made in china and he better wash his hands of all of this!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
He’s got a pen! watch out OBAMA!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
what that means is get me some more damn oil
October 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
D.O’B. for the newly created position of “Secretary of Boning.”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
So if a candidate dies - possibly mid debate - before the election is held…what happens?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MCAIN’S LEFT CHEEK??
October 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Maverick.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
I’m not even watching the debate and this is still entertaining…
October 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
that’s what independent voters look like.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
Damnit! Now I’m trying to find hat-dude not listening!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
McCain is having a seesure
October 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Does McCain seem like a robot freaking out in some kind of logic loop to anyone else? I think he needs a reboot…
October 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Senator Obama says it has to be safe or something like that.
I Lol’d HARD.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Mccain said he was on a nuclear powered sub and nuclear power is safe hasn’t he had cancer like 4 times?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
You could cleverly reference Pope’s Dunciad, Gladstone.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
i love the traffic lights on the floors that tell them to shut up after they’ve been blabbing off topic for 4 minutes.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Jesus! Bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing, intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out! The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
the old guy in the blue is feeling himself
October 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Im concerned about the something
October 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Nuclear fuel also creates mutants!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
MC CAIN wants nuc-u-ler energy! HE HE HE!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
blah blah climate change, just get to the part where you promise me palin naked, then you get my vote
October 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Rape of the Lock is an awesome read….
October 7th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Joe Lieberman in I… did he make a freudian slip
October 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
*gasp* Check out 6:41-6:42! DOB is showing commendable signs of intellegence!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Social Security was supposed to be temporary! It was designed to help old people who lost everything in the Great Depression survive. It was never supposed to last this long.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
I’m far more concerned about Senator McCain’s little arms jerking around. That’s some robot shit. Why don’t you address THAT, America?!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Why does he keep saying “my friends”? I’m not your friend buddy!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
is mccain going to start posting help wanted adds on Cracked? Is that how he’ll recruit the smartest people in America?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Didn’t Obama just explain his tax proposal?
Does McCain even know what he’s saying, or is it just a reflex at this point?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
Did McCain just say “We need smart people to come up with good ideas”?!
Seriously . . .
October 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Mccain is just lubricating his glass eyes. that got poked out while he was a POW in ‘nam. One can only assume this is fact
October 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
He found Joe Sixpack
October 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
McCain blinks more than a woman… What does that make him?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
McCain looks like one of those wind-up toys that just moves its little legs til it falls down.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
internet question: raise your hand if you’d like to be president.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I wonder how many people in there are constipated.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Tee hee you people are all so stupid… that’s why I’m going to be the president… Is this reality or am I having a PTSD flashback… Medicare… tough… SOcial Security… no problem..
Commissions… so effective! UP OR DOWN… no fooling around no more: FIX IT FOR US!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
lo-fucking-l
October 7th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
The lines don’t like John McCain much, Michael.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
oh, just kiss already!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
What are the lines on CBS for? it looks like they are broadcasting in morse code
October 7th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
PLEASE, TELL ME YOU BOUGHT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
8 more years people do you really want 8 more years really? really?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Is it bad that when Obama talks it reminds me of the Chappelle show?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Straight talk hate talk….Where’s the make love talk?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Senator McCain keeps blinking. This is a sign of lieing.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
How can a dime of my taxes go up???
October 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Straight talk express lost a wheel and the joker got away
October 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
guys, g stones is the only one delivering on the promise. Drink!!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
his first term as president?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
obama is such an asshole
October 7th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
You guys should play 20 questions.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
I feel sorry for the audiene. I think they are feeling the heat! or the chill… I like the guy with the stach very seventies
October 7th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
does that women have anal beads around her neck?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Brokaw just pimp-slapped a potential President on live TV. Heh heh.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Damn it, I’m going to get my homework. It’s not quite as boring.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
Wow Obama is such a jackass.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Wolinsky: “Is this debate any good in HD?”
Not Really
October 7th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
Do I have to have kids to be considered middle class?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
go have kids America, that way McCain will give you some money
October 7th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
I’m sorry I said McCain needs a massage… it’s obviously a result of being in a cage for too long. Rah Raw Rah… golly gee guys… go out and get that health insurance you want!
Will he include massages?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:37 pm
you can see the liver spots on McCains head in HD
October 7th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
HAve you ever tried to nail jello to the wall?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
a) I’m a college admission counselor, our brochures are marketed tripe.
b) Eliminating greed on wall street is impossible. Let’s just eliminate the greedy. And jell-o. with nailguns.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Note to Woc: unlike your ‘relevant political society’ here in canada we actually have more than 2 parties to choose from.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Nailing jello shots to the wall… where’s my funnel?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Wouldn’t it make a fuckload more sense for new items to show up at the top of the list? I’m sick of scrolling down!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
the kid over obama shoulder is dead i think
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Wait, did Jeeves bring that horrible Rob Liefeld superhero chick illustration instead of the car picture?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I just wanna see one or the other of them look at their rival and say, “Have you lost your F^&KING MIND?!?” That would be a VOTE WINNER!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Soul Caliber rules.
This debate is boring but you guys aren’t.
Thank you.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
high on the hog
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
We could pay off the national debt with the revenue made from selling “Naylin Paylin”!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN POW?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
McCain has skinny legs.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Obama is funky ambidextrous.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
A fuel efficient car build in america… yeah, by Toyota
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
soul caliber ref! DRINK MO FO
October 7th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
soul calibur WAS awesome!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I have a friend who, when she heard about the first tower falling, said, “Sweet, maybe there will be a war!”
Now every September 11th she looks at the clock at 9:11. Without meaning to. Her words are always the same: “son of a bitch!”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Um…he said drunk 3 times…do we drink to that??
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
OMG EVERYONE GET DRUNK THEN IT DOESN”T HURT SO MUCH till the next morning.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
how would you as the president get drunk
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
It’s confirmed guys. People got drunk.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
DRUNK!!!! Drink. Now. Everyone.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Wow, this is a lot easier to read when my browser decides not to load the bloggers’ avatars. Cut out the pictures, guys, and I don’ t have to scroll 50 pages to read both the posts and the comments.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Ryan you are so perceptive: I nominate you for a position on the cabinet!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
9:31 PM* Ross Wolinsky - What happened on 9/11 again?9:31 PM* Michael Swaim - It happened AGAIN?
hahahahaha!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
they should really jazz up the set there. i mean what the fuck red and blue? how about some jazzy neon or something. i need something to keep my attention
October 7th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
i am so high. need it to get through this debate
October 7th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
We should throw the old man into the Hadron Collinder!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
I just did a fucking funnel. Twice. And I’m 17.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Where’s the 2012 reference?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Great, 9/11 reference and I’m almost out of bourbon.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Tragedy of 9/11…huh…doesn’t ring a bell…
October 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Drink every time someone says “Amuricka”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
We can get them all done because that’s what america’s been doing.” ENDQUOTE
October 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Does anyone else see that very sad and gloomy bald red head in the background?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
we can shotgun these projects
October 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Did he just say he wanted to eliminate good programs?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
McCain, we already have something called the “Federal Oversight Committee” that does that shit!
Hey, Im’a create some new shit we already have! watch me waste money already being wasted somewhere else for the exact same purpose!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
McCain is having seisures… no PTSD here…Projects… projectors… prodigny…Prod Prod Prod
October 7th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Alaska’s main industry: Drilling virgin territory.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Swaim called it.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
I bet a water gun’d work for time management. My cat sure hates it.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Hey, we didnt have gas in Nashville for two weeks…give me a break! Great job though guys
October 7th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Barrack is so selfish with his time.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Woah..OH THE BOMB sounds to together for America. Then again, I think senility might be an asset to help with the … well… you know…
TIME TIME TIME.. oh Tom give it a rest
Who here is sending a question in ???
October 7th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
This is the longest string of “one minutes” in the history of time.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Oh no brokaw di-int!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Golly gee guys… grab your rifles we got a real maverick… do them all at once!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
I like this game.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Don’t tell me you can work on three things at once when you have to write ‘em all down at the same time you’re being told to discuss them! Old dingbat!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
i dunno why but brokaw makes me think of that guy
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
“The Taking of Palin One-Two-Three (Guys)”
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
and drink again!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Overcome the mission!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
He wants to sit down sooooooo baddd
October 7th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Reaching across the aisle… and under the bathroom stall!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
aw damn now i look like a shithead for spelling that wrong.
i meant to say if
October 7th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Nailin Palin
From TMZ:
The faux Sarah is Lisa Ann, who “will be nailing the Russians who come knocking on her back-door.” In another scene — a flashback — “young Paylin’s creationist college professor will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!”
There’s also a threeway with Hillary and Condoleezza look-alikes.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Thanks Zephyr you need to run for office!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
i really fucking hate Dan Rather.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Wait, if McCain knows how to fix the economy why doesn’t he just I dno, let someone know so we can get out of this shitter?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
what would happen is mccain died right before election day????
October 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Pork Barrel Ear Marks sounds like a Chinese dish.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
850 BILLION dollars. thats like a lot of money guys!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
did you know that the word is the bird and bird is the word ???? penguin man helloooooo
October 7th, 2008 at 8:23 pm
Is McCain just making shit up now?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Oh dear god lol!!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Thats the shittiest looking town hall I have ever seen.
FYI: my drinking game is beating my wife everytime McCain refers to himself as a maverick. Then I take the same amount of drinks as the # of teeth I knock out
October 7th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Is it just me or are McCain’s hands a ridiculous shade of purple?!!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
McCain fought against outrageous. Duck and cover, dudes!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
You guys should also record what you’re blogging and post it with a timer so when people who aren’t watching this come to read it later it can make sense and be even more hilarious and awesome.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
He needs a massage: guess which he?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Y’all are gonna be DRUNK. lol
October 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Drink every time McCain says Cronies
October 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
this is the best way to watch live tv.
definitely do this more often. like every time the view is on.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Drink to every time Swaim’s picture creeps me the fuck out.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Borrow from the Chinese: Their stuff costs at least a dollar at the 99cents only store.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Is there anybody in the audience under the age of 35?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Ross Wolinsky - “Teresa dates Joe Six-Pack.”
brilliant
October 7th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
They should really have the records of the 2 canidates on the wall behind them, so they can talk about something else…
October 7th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
What is with the woman behind theresa’s eyes?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Theresa Finch is horrible.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
actually no, im not im to interested in the actuall debate this time. out guys
October 7th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
McCain has a lisp like Carol Channing.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Is it just me… or is McCain actually answering the questions that are being asked??
Doesn’t he know how to debate?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Is Swaim wearing makeup?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
all right im in
October 7th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
Fuck this. I’m voting for Tom. He has all the qualities I’m looking for!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Cracked: making politics enjoyable since 9:00
October 7th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
You fuckers take nothing seriously. I love it. DOB FOR PRESIDENT!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
Also, isn’t it fist ‘bump’, not ‘pump’.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
The De-regulator….a new movie coming out this Christmas.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I’m late! So Dan, since there’s nobody you want to have sex with…what are we drinking to tonight? Then it’s not like I’m drinking alone, right??
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
You know, I’ve never laughed much at Gladstone before. I think he should do a running commentary on all current events.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Mccain’s right hand looks like it’s made out of plastic.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Thanks for the shout-out guys
October 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Holy Shit, Obama’s Married?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I’m going to vote for John McCain!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
couldn’t never?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
I do have a tv, but this is much more entertaining than watching teh actual debate
October 7th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
cronies is a little harsh
October 7th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
OH my god michelle obama looks like an 8 dollar whore. She’s gonna get slapped like a cheap hooker at a gang bang.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
What are those lights at the bottom for? They look like street lights.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Given the choice DOB, who would you sex up?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
the way he looks at anyone creeps me out
October 7th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Anyone else see the way mccain looked at tom?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I don’t have a TV in my apartment, so this is how I’m “watching” the debate. Thank god for the information super highway!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Tom Brokaw came from a friend’s high school. Damn, they don’t waste time do they? Man McCain is creepy. I wouldn’t want him starring at me.
October 7th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
vodka here and barack is gonna make a fool out of himself
October 7th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
what could he already be writing down?
October 7th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
WOO WOO!
October 7th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Some man just voted against tom brokaw lol
October 7th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Wolinsky 50 seconds!
October 7th, 2008 at 7:58 pm
Thanks, Nighthawk
October 7th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
You all can watch a live stream of the debate here-
http://www.hulu.com/spotlight/election08
I can’t fucking wait… If anyone can talk about politics yet make me laugh at how stupid and over-rated the whole ordeal is, Daniel O’brien can
October 7th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Is there going to be a live stream of the debate here as well, or just the live blogging and I need to watch elsewhere?
October 7th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
I’m at work……….i’m in
October 7th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Who else will be playing the “maverick” drinking game?
October 7th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
long live the Dan Dan Revolution
October 7th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Paul Kirk (This guy with the combover and the bathroom tile shirt) is fucking riveting. I think I sold him a lawnmower once…
October 7th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
sorry im dating an attractive asian woman…. I cant pass that up
October 7th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
it worked
October 7th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
im gonna have to go with ol’ dan o’brien as the write in candidate
October 7th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
less than a hour until the shit hits the fan
October 7th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Jesus did say he read cracked magazine on family guy on Sunday!
October 7th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
sometimes i think america is full of morons, then i realize, its not full, we can fit more in here
look who we elect, morons each time….
GLADSTONE FOR PREZ WRITE IT IN
October 7th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
In the TV movie that is inevitably made about this election, I’m hoping to see Conrad Bain and TV’s Levar Burton cast as the main characters. If Conrad Bain is still alive, that is.
October 7th, 2008 at 6:46 pm
this thing was total bullshit last time, but I’ll do it again.
October 7th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
did anyone see Tina Fey’s obscure shout-out? it was wonderful. i want another one, just for the hell of it.
October 7th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
I wanna see Obama give the Crypt Keeper a high 5.
October 7th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
The debate is going to answer NONE of our questions, and feed us bullshit facts about spending and hope that we don’t fucking want to hear.
October 7th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
maybe i’m wrong, but it seems they would be left behind when a debate strayed away from what they wanted to talk about and they would be even more obnoxious about it than Palin was.
October 7th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
well brian, it seems pretty clear that the other candidates have no chance of winning a debate. ron paul would do nothing but say he is a classic conservative and a strict constitutionalist (whatever that means) and ralph nader would bluster around about corporations being evil and how he was right all those years and the financial crisis could be solved with 3 anti-trust laws he has devised while shitting on the toilet. also, is it just me or was Cracked mentioned on last week’s Family Guy episode by Jesus Christ? cause i’m pretty sure it happened.
October 7th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I am Canadian. As such, I am obligated to say that we are, essentially, Planet America’s moon. Sure, you may ignore us and take us for granted and only really show an interest when we actually do something special (like turn red, blot out the sun - whose identity in this metaphor is up for debate - or provide stronger, more accessible beer for your youth) but I guarentee that if we ever left, you’d all be awash in a devasting tidal wave of water. I’m not sure what that’d be. Maybe nuclear radiation. Maybe China. But you’d all get awash in something. So beware! Beware…
October 7th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
YEAH, BABY!! Gladstone’s getting in on it now! This is gonna be so awesome. Can’t wait, guys!
October 7th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
ok Canadians start posting again so we can drown out Brian
October 7th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
great!
October 7th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Vote none of the above. Where are the other 4 candidates that are running? why are those two so afraid of them that they won’t debate with them?
October 7th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
What about English people?
Unlike canada, we have democracy too, only with 3 parties!
October 7th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
note to Canadians: no more comments please, the people from relevant political societies are talking.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
I having trouble passing my amendment, I think I may have to use an emancipation…
Can’t wait to see this thing get under way!
October 7th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Fuckin EST wats wrong wit u yanks? didnt they teach you bout GMT in Kin-der-gar-ten.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
The last one was pretty good. I love Dan O’Brien.
And Swaim.
That’s it.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
I’ll be here man.
October 7th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Lol, americans…
October 7th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Sorry, I can’t make it. 9:00 is my Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper time
October 7th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Oh fetch yes. I can’t wait for this. I’m sharing it with a group of people as we all watch the debate, in fact.
October 7th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I often shit amendments just for the fun of it. So far the one about getting rid of prohibition is the only one that passed.