CNN vs. Fox: Battle For The Lamest Jesus Story Ever
So this is the first time i'm blogging with a Mac. How do you like it so far? Are you finding my humor more intuitive and virus-free? To tell you the truth I'm sort of morose right now. My PC laptop inexplicably died. It has all the original HBNs on it and my screenplay which hasn't been backed up with the last two week's of writing. So yeah. But anyway, I always say that when life gives you syphilis, make sypilis-ade. (It's basically the same as regular lemonade, but you let Dan O'Brien take a sip from the glass before you serve it. FYI. Ross makes killer Chlamydia Ale). Actually, I never say that. I also don't let Dan and Ross near my kitchen. So yeah. I'm pissed and sad. Fortunately, I sent this week's HBN off to Jack, just minutes before everything went so terribly wrong.
Gladstone wants to be your special friend. Check out some more of his stuff HERE and OVER HERE and HERE TOO.
Awesome collection of all the things I love to read lolz.
ReplyI don't think Gladstone's the marrying kind. No, he's a wanderer, moving from town to town. Loving where he can, fighting where he needs to, always remembering that dreadful secret that he must carry.
ReplyHe is the "inviting-girls-to-an-X-files/Lesbian-Experimentation-party" type of guy, though. So if that's your thing, maybe you do have a future together, foxyrosy.
Why, Mr Gladstone, nice... cross you got there.
ReplySeriously, you're my new hero. You rock.
Marry me?
What EVE-6 ablum is the song you use as your theme song on?
ReplyMac and cheese is a separate orgasmic experience in itself. If she can handle both, you've done well, Glendoor.
ReplyHell, I know I'm right, I married the bitch and thanks for clearing up what Gregory has been talking about. I thought he was talking about some move in Mortal Combat but that makes better sense.
Replyglendoor42 is right. His wife is totally cool in bed. You know, if you decide to fuck while eating macocroni and cheese, or if you decide that the moose costume is a bit warm in the summer and you'd prefer to a good old-fashioned game of Tentacle Monster and Sailor Moon... you know, she's down with that.
ReplyI guess it doesn't hurt that she was a p0rn star back in Hungary, right?
She did have a problem with Gregory, though. He asked if he could join the two of us. He wanted to do something called the Double Viper Assault. He just seemed a bit too eager, if you know what I mean.
"glendoor im fucking a 19 year old and have no trouble getting the “fornicating” aspect you desribed…"
ReplyTell her you are about to get engaged to a wonderful girl but you'd like to still like to pop in
every once in a while for sex and see how that goes.
I don't give a fuck. Line 'em up.
Replyglendoor im fucking a 19 year old and have no trouble getting the "fornicating" aspect you desribed... of course im 19 too and i can see your point about avoiding women the same age as your daughter. yes 20 year olds are hot but thats just weird
ReplyMe, Me, ( raises hand excitedly) I want older women. When you get to be my age( I am Cracks version of Methuselah) You start to feel like a fucking pedophile when you look at
Replyyoung women and I'm talking 18 to 25 year olds. Hell, I got daughters in that age bracket. Shit it's hard for me to tell the difference between a lot of 20 something year olds and 14 and 15 year olds.
Plus, unless you are buying a hooker, there is going to be a certain amount of talking going on and there aren't many 18 to 25 year I want to talk too long enough to get them in bed or talk to at all for that matter, other than yes I want fries with that.
An older woman knows what she wants, ain't shy about telling you what she wants, knows
how to get what she wants, better in bed, don't waste time playing fucking games( unless you want them to and depends on the game) and most importantly knows the difference between making love and fornicating.
The difference between making love and fornicating is, lets say with a twenty something
your the third guy she's ever been with and your lovemaking session was just transcendent and she very sure that your the one she been looking for her whole life and even though she felt this way the other two times and was wrong( fuck Chase and Brandon
they were assholes) She's moved on with her life and SHE HAS FOUND THE ONE, you. Never mind that in a few years after marriage, a few kids and she's grown to hate the sight of you, she is gonna leave, take the kids( Fine you say, they were probably Chase's anyway or Brandon's( and half your shit and you say HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!!!!!! I WAS THE ONE!!!!!!!
An older woman's like "that was great" and your all like " yeah that was" and then one of you says"Hey you want to get something to eat?" and one of you say "Yeah, how about Macaroni Grill ?" That's fucking and that's one of the plethora of reasons I like older women.
In a few years I'm gonna be dead from a cocaine overdose. I want that pussy NOW.
Replybut seriously, who wants an older woman? really. I mean in a few years there will be excessive crows feet, gravity issues, menopause, and all around bitchyness.
ReplyI hate you crunchy.
ReplyWOC, if I took her baby and ran with it I wouldn't get far; the paparazzi would call the cops. That's why I prefer women on the lower end of the economic scale; nobody cares what you do to them or their babies.
ReplyGlendoor, you lost me with "I can see fucking a goat or a sheep or a cow..."
Glendoor, they key to fucking a cougar is the same as the golden rule of real estate: Location, Location, Cougar Tranquilizer
ReplyLet me clarify,this should have read "I can see fucking a goat or sheep or a cow , if you stand on a five gallon bucket, as oppossed to a cougar, but a cougar, hell first you got to catch one and that’s hard.
ReplyNot that I've done this but , I can see fucking a goat or sheep or a cow , if you stand on a five gallon bucket, but a cougar, hell first you got to catch one and that's hard.
ReplyI only seen one in the wild once, I guess you could bribe someone at the zoo, but then you would have to get several people to hold it while you did it, and they're liable to tell people that you did.
Plus the danger element, I mean if those people let go of the cougar while your fucking it, you are gonna get fucked up, which if you're into that.....
cougars? seriously?
ReplyHmm that wont be easy J-Pappi, let me see if i can help you...i believe Jessica Alba just had a baby...run with it.
Reply