Cracked Columnists

A New Shirt (and a New Episode) for 'After Hours' Fans

Since the inception of the Cracked Dispensary over a year ago, hundreds of you have requested that we make a T-shirt to honor or Webby Award-winning series After Hours, and for over a year we have carelessly brushed your pleas aside and done whatever we wanted instead. Sorry about that. Well, now we're finally listening (did you know our site has a "Contact Us" section? We sure as hell didn't).

But, to be completely honest, however briefly, After Hours never would have won a Webby or been nearly as successful if it wasn't for all of you, so thank you. You are the best and probably smell nice. AND you deserve to celebrate with a new shirt and a brand new episode, don't you think?

If you've been with us since Season 1, you recognize that as Winston Rowntree's classic intro artwork style. Also you probably see that design and hear the theme song in your head. And notice how everyone's positioned in their correct diner seats? That's because we are doing our first official After Hours shirt exactly goddamn right.

It's available in red, black, and blue -- all the colors of a bruise, we're just now realizing. Wear it with pride, and if we ever see you in a diner wearing it, we can't promise that we won't launch into a six-hour deconstruction of the storied adventures of Bill & Ted.

Your New Ideas Should Meet Our Money

Seriously. We'd get along really well. Because most of our non-After Hours T-shirts were designed by people like you. People who maybe aren't even that amazing at Photoshop, but had such good ideas that we helped bring them to that next killer level. We've got a whole forum thread for your image-based japes, where we keep our T-shirt design contests, and a home for your random ideas too. No experience necessary, only a good idea Photoshopped into being. Destiny (and our $500) awaits.

Our Weekly Dose of Envy

Let's be honest: Nobody has a monopoly on rad ideas. There are a lot of them spread between our team and your brain, but it's not like that covers everything worth wearing. We scour the Internet weekly for the latest, greatest new shirts that other people beat us to, and jealously/kindly gather our five favorites in this space. Here's the new batch. May they inspire you to come up with something new that's as cool as that Marty portrait.

5)


Available at TeePublic.

4)


Available at Glennz Tees.

3)


Available at TShirtLaundry.

2)


Available at Shirt.Woot.

1)


Available at Society6.

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