Are you interested in a career in supervillainy but don't have the patience to work your way up the corporate ladder at the cloning lab? Good news: You could get started today, right now, in your very own garage! It's so easy to build a superweapon out of power tools and YouTube tutorials, it's almost criminally irresponsible for us to keep talking about it, and yet we are going to. Please ignore everything we're about to tell you about these dangerous homemade death machines and do not look at the awesome GIFs demonstrating their power.
Warner Bros. Television
As any emergency room doctor can tell you, building an amateur flamethrower is as simple as shooting hairspray into a lighter. But this is not an article about Category 1 Idiocy. This is an article about turning you into a Silver Age Spider-Man villain. For instance, here is a video of a lunatic turning a water gun into 12 feet of scorching death.
Adds a fun element of collateral damage to your outdoor cooking!
The main problem with flamethrowers, besides loss of facial hair and face, is their bulkiness. A huge, napalm-filled gun practically announces to the world that you're about to burn it down. What if you could blast flame straight out of your palm? Well, here's a young boy with a glove capable of exactly that. Its flame is controlled by subtle finger movements, and it's so easy to make, you'll almost feel stupid for not having an entire flamethrower wardrobe.
Bakes up to one ham while you lightly finger it!
Looking at that glove, we already know what you're thinking. "Nice fireball, kid, but if you're looking for burns, here's one: Does your Twilight book club also enjoy fire?" And you're right. That's barely enough flame to add an element of danger to handshakes and masturbation. But don't be too quick to discard the idea of a glove-mounted fireball gun. There are some dedicated arsonists who have taken pyro gloves to menacing levels.
"Sweetheart? What have I told you about lighting the ceiling on fire?"
"Maw-awm! I asked you to call me Flamodon, The Human Ignition!"
Not to be confused with Latter Day Scorch, The Magma Missionary (above).
Real talk: Fire is one of the least accurate weapons a world dominator can employ, one that relies on a jetpack worth of fuel to last any length of time. This combination of unpredictable plus explosive fuel source means insane amounts of danger. So it would be a terrible idea to make something like, for instance, a firesword.
But, please, by all means, fuck hand protection.
Wrist-mounted flamethrowers may be more technically impressive, but having a weapon that simultaneously chops and sears your enemies can save you hours in both the kitchen and your makeshift basement dungeon. This flaming machete comes from GreekGadgetGuru, a man with a love of fire and a very low life expectancy. He based it on the shishkebab weapon from Fallout 3, and it's not much more complicated than covering a blade in butane and igniting it. He's not the only one to think of it, either. There are so many irresponsibly homemade fireswords and flamethrowers on YouTube, the internet will soon have more burn victims than cats.
J&M Special Effects
Some people tempt fate with their dangerous hobbies. This guy calls fate a pussy.
20th Century Fox
When most people hear "actual robot suit," they probably imagine a Japanese school girl in an exoskeleton fighting a samurai gorilla while a creepy business man waits for an opening to photograph up her skirt.
And, of course, that absolutely exists.
But not all power armor exists just to make vaguely racist jokes. In fact, there is "power armor" that doesn't even require power. This model from Skeletonics has no power system at all -- it generates robotic terror using only the kinetic energy and terrified screams of its user. This GIF demonstrates how it might be used to chase down anyone foolish enough to not be wearing their own exoskeleton.
THE FUTURE IS NOW!!! WHY ARE YOU FLEEING?!
You might be thinking, "That barely looks more deadly than chasing someone with a cleaver while on stilts!" One might argue that's lethal enough, but if you're looking for more super strength from your robosuit, take a look at the one developed by Canadian James Hobson, aka The Hacksmith.
Aka Toronto Tony Stark.
That's him curling 170 pounds of cinder blocks. No responsible robo-lifter would skip leg day, so James also created a lower body for his exoskeleton. And it's strong enough to lift a Mini Cooper.
They tried a Smart Car first, but it promptly flipped over.
When it's all put together, it's powerful enough to lift an entire truck, though there are still some physics problems that go along with this much strength in such a small frame. Assuming you don't tear your own spine in half, whatever you're lifting just might. As you can see here, when he picked up this truck, the structural steel bars underneath it gave up before gravity did.
We're still not sure what to make of the mannequin collection.
So his plan to throw cars around might still have a few kinks, but one thing The Hacksmith made that works perfectly is this mecha fist. It was designed for karate, and karate only.
This is for fucking with him, physics.