Young people, right? Give them a copy of Atlas Shrugged, The Communist Manifesto, or Goofus And Gallant Go To The Electric Daisy Carnival, and they get all brassy and smug just because they're going to die a few decades after you. Fortunately, the media has a surefire way of making the olds feel better about themselves: clickbait news stories that depict millennials as slobbering nincompoops.
Look, folks: You were either fresh-faced and intolerable once, or are currently limber and supple and absolutely excruciating to be around. (Or perhaps you're experiencing the twin pleasures of being ancient and awful, like a cursed mummy.) But the point is that portraying the youth of today as Archie and Jughead hopped up on The Weeknd and emojis isn't going to make the world a less stupid place. So the next time you see the news broadbrush an entire generation as dumbshits, remember the following overblown yarns ...
6A Professor Didn't Fail His Entire Class Out of "Tough Love"
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Ah, college. It's that cherished time in a young person's life when they can live in the same hoodie for four to eight years, and plunk down $150,000 for the privilege of napping through a communications class. So when a story made its way around the Internet a while back about a Texas A&M University professor failing an entire class as a form of "tough love," it made total sense. Good on that rough-and-tumble Texan for showing those damn millennials what the world is really like.
Namely: Controlled entirely by the arbitrary whims of old, angry, uncaring white dudes.
One headline even went so far as to question, "Is This A Millennials Problem?" but forgot to include the answer, which is a resounding "Ha, no." The class was fine, but the professor was nutty, and not in an Eddie-Murphy-in-a-Fat-Suit way.
See, what the stories neglected to mention was that this professor was in the middle of a mid-semester meltdown. Nobody can fail until after finals, when they're safe at home and away from those mean ol' professors. They also left out the part where he basically said "You've failed!" as a sort of middle finger to everyone around him. After being denied the opportunity to teach only the best students at the school, the prof started mentally choreographing an "I Quit!" tap number (we assume) and straight-up got the fuck out of Dodge.
Goddamn entitled Boomer snowflakes.
The professor sent an email to administrators letting them know the demonic students were "your problem now." But the real problem they had was already solved; by the time he'd let loose on his class, he'd left his position.
University officials shrugged off their former colleague's vanishing. They reiterated that no student had in fact failed, because that's not even possible at that stage in the semester. The students were left utterly confused by their collective grade, which either vindicates or condemns the nutty professor's attempted decision.
5The Couple Travelling And Scrubbing Toilets Is Fine
Across the web, everyone from BuzzFeed to actual news outlets discovered a couple that was travelling the world, as young couples are wont to do, but also so broke that they were scrubbing hostel toilets in order to stay alive. "They deserve it, lol" the Internet replied in unison.
"That'll teach 'em to not stay home and be miserable like the rest of us."
The twist they all failed to mention was that the pair were not down on their luck one iota, and that the toilet scrubbing was an integral part of their globetrotting. Nothing had gone wrong in the slightest. In truth, everything had gone exactly to plan, poop and all. The headlines are acting as if this is some kind of unexpected failure on the part of irresponsible millennials who wanted to travel. Only Uproxx looked into it and realized that scrubbing toilets was part of their plan.
How Far From Home
They go from one pile of water to a much, much better one.
No, it wasn't some kind of weird fetish, either. The couple in question booked their trip through Work Away, a program that sets travelers up with food and lodging in exchange for performing volunteer work while they stay. In addition to cleaning toilets, they did other things -- like washing dishes and cooking for other people -- to, get this, earn their keep.
One of the travelers, who wrote the original blog post which alerted the Internet to their adventures, said that they weren't even bothered by the scrubbing. It was rewarding, and taught the pair about humility. Inadvertently, it also taught them that the Internet is still a young child who stops listening to the details once they hear "poo."