Spooky season may have officially come to a close, but some nightmares still keep dribbling in. What's scarier than accidentally getting knocked up because you're fighting an ear infection?
Or, in layman's financial terms, the rough equivalent of 100 good quality erotic cakes.
"They say it's a fine line between fandom and zealotry. Or something."
And certainly nothing helps chronic, skull-splitting headaches like the wail of a colicky baby!
"For every one of you lucky enough to have received detailed instructions about how to put a condom on a cucumber, another was merely subjected to a slideshow about genital warts and a hurried lecture on the benefits of abstinence, delivered by a red-faced softball coach."