All art is subjective. Subjectivity is in its very nature. One man's masterpiece is another man's paint-smeared garbage. So it is damn near impossible to make any questionable comments about a work of art's inherent quality -- unless, of course, that artwork was made by radically out-of-touch celebrities. Then it's fair game.
5Michael Jackson's Face Chairs
Once lawyers and relatives managed to quit squabbling over Michael Jackson's estate for 10 seconds, they discovered an elaborate art collection in his studio/storehouse, valued at around $900 million. It contained, among other things, over 150 pieces of art created by the King of Pop himself. They are drawings of chairs with faces.
This one just heard Invincible for the first time and was not pleased.
Michael Jackson oddity #72: He was fascinated by chairs, and considered them to be the "thrones of men, women, and children." OK, there have been weirder motifs in art. There are certainly weirder motifs in Michael Jackson's artistic career. Hell, there were probably weirder motifs in his breakfast. What makes this truly strange is that Michael Jackson's bizarre vanity artwork is actually ... pretty good. Technically speaking, anyway. There's probably something evil that lives in this one:
The Man in the Mirror never stood a fucking chance.
Whereas this one just looks like it knows that its purpose in life is to have butts on its mouth. We would be making the same exact face.
"Yeah, it's a hard life. At least I'm not Tito."
4Ke$ha's Tooth Art
Recently, Ke$ha went to rehab for an eating disorder. To pass the time, she tried to engage in art therapy. A friend used Twitter to ask Ke$ha's fans to send some art supplies, because how else would a multimillionaire get art supplies? Buy some? Have you been to Michael's lately? That shit adds up. No, "free" is always better than "not free."
And yet her cold-hearted treatment center wasn't game. They told her fans to knock it off. Apparently receiving bits of a stranger's skull in the mail "isn't conducive to a therapeutic environment."
You see, Ke$ha does tooth art. She's used her fans' teeth to make a headdress, earrings, necklaces, and even a bra. Get them strange teeth on your nipples, ladies!
Back in 2012, Ke$ha made a similar request of fans and got over 1,000 teeth. Her treatment center's official reasoning for halting this was that teeth could be a biohazard. The unofficial reason is that any therapy that makes it seem like you need therapy is kind of missing the mark.
So the real question here is, who is crazier? On the one hand, you've got Ke$ha, who says she does this to feel more connected to her fans. "I love them!" she says. "I call them my family."
Yeah, so did this guy.
And on the other hand, who the hell is mailing off their teeth? Seriously, where did they all come from? A thousand fans with poor hygiene? Thirty-something really devoted fans who now gum their dinners? Perhaps feeling the need to completely knock the Nutjob Scales on their side, Ke$ha released a jewelry line last year featuring penis earrings.
Kesha Rose by Charles Albert
"I'm talkin' I'm talkin' pedicure on our toes, toes
Testicles on our lobes, lobes."
Because sometimes the lord is kind, they are not constructed of real penises. Yet. Be wary of her next request, gentlemen: It's not like losing a baby tooth. You won't get a bigger replacement.