The judicial system is a vessel that breeds creativity. When the court threatens to take away large amounts of our money or, even worse, lock us up in some bullshit prison, the mind's gears get a-turnin'. And sometimes -- just sometimes -- people manage to come up with such over-the-top shenanigans that the law just throws its hands up and gives them a free pass.
We're not saying any of the below strategies will work for you. We're just saying they've worked at least once:
5 Dmitri Krioukov Uses the Power of Physics to Beat a Traffic Ticket
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There was only one thing Dmitri Krioukov hated more than traffic tickets: traffic tickets that gravely insulted the laws of physics.
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e.g. "Don't exceed 299,792,458 meters per second in a school zone."
Krioukov was given a ticket for failing to stop at the designated stop sign. Said ticket was issued by a police officer, who saw the misdemeanor take place because he was observing the area with his own police eyes in his police head. However, Krioukov wasn't about to let mere rock solid proof stand in his way. He took that shit to court, arguing that the officer in question mathematically could not have seen what he thought he saw. For proof, he whipped out a four-page academic paper he had written specifically for the judge.
It just so happened that Krioukov was a physicist at the University of California, and thus well versed in confusing the hell out of all living things. Using a shit-ton of mathematical jargon that may as well have been written in hieroglyphics, Krioukov's paper described how the officer who witnessed the supposed violation had gotten his linear speed confused with his angular speed, complete with helpful charts and diagrams.
This one was drawn by Krioukov's daughter, using Spirograph.
Of course, Krioukov's argument was a wonderful exercise in bullshit: He gleefully argued that his car had stopped when the officer wasn't looking, his vision clearly obstructed by another vehicle, and that Krioukov pushed down his brakes and restarted so hard, you could barely notice it. All of this was written with broken English and backed up with huge, complex equations and diagrams. The judge leafed through the paper, gloriously titled "The Proof of Innocence." Then, he looked at his massive to-do list, went, "Screw this, it's just a traffic ticket," and moved on to the next case.
And that, dear readers, is why school is cool.