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9 Normal Things That Look Trippy Under a Microscope

The world is full of magic, it's just that a lot of it isn't visible without special tools. Fortunately, microscopes exist. Because when you take normal, everyday things and magnify them by a factor of about a bajillion, it's like you're suddenly in a whole new world where the rivers run with LSD and every crop is magic mushrooms.

Don't believe us? Just take an (extremely close-up) look at ...

#9. Sand

Getty

Also known as the most boring freaking landscape possible. But throw a few grains under a microscope and ...

Via A Grain of Sand, Dr. Gary Greenberg
That's right, your beach thong is encrusted with valuable gems.

Holy shit. Just look at that translucent little guy in the center, with its perfect little swirl. And the one at the bottom with its microscopic tiger stripes, never to be beheld except maybe by some unappreciative dick of a sand crab.

See, that's the thing about sand -- it's not just a bunch of tiny little rocks, it's a bunch of tiny little everything. In that picture, you're seeing little bits that have scraped off of the shells of sea creatures, some dried up plankton, coral, bits of minerals and who knows what else. Here's some sand from a lake in Minnesota:

Via A Grain of Sand, Dr. Gary Greenberg

And here's what you'll have stuck between your toes if you walked around a beach in Namibia (the pink and red stuff is garnet):

Via A Grain of Sand, Dr. Gary Greenberg
Sandcastles are much more desirable real estate than we expected.

Maybe you'll be a little more appreciative the next time you get some of this stuff stuck in your ass crack.

#8. Aspirin

Getty

Aspirin takes care of your headaches, but it certainly doesn't do it by soothing the areas of your brain responsible for aesthetic appreciation. Even as close up as the above image, aspirin is still just a bunch of boring white pills. But zoom in ...

Via Annie Cavanagh and David McCarthy

Anybody got some aspirin? We need a few after staring at this for a while. It looks like a crystalline flower straight out of Avatar. We have a sudden urge to grow a ponytail, jack it into that thing and download some brain apps from our ancestors (or some bullshit like that).

Seriously, anybody got some aspirin?

#7. Asbestos

Via Wikipedia

It looks so innocent for a substance that has caused so much trouble. Asbestos was once thought to be a wonder material in the construction of buildings, but now is infamous for causing cancer and other illnesses in millions of people who breathed the particles. How can something that looks like a coughed up hairball actually damage our lungs?

Well, if you get closer, it actually does look like something that could shred your insides:

Via Serc.carleton.edu
Man, now we feel bad for daring the intern to eat a handful of this stuff.

No, that's not a macro shot of the crystal caves that we've covered before, or Superman's Fortress of Solitude after a weekend bender (and on a completely unrelated note -- just how much alcohol would it take to send the Man of Steel on a bender?). Those are the jagged microscopic fibers that leap down your trachea and cancer-punch your lungs the second you mess with this stuff.

#6. Alcohol

Getty

Everyone's favorite drug is often conveniently blamed for doing weird things to one's vision when hunting for random sexual partners in a crowded nightclub. But when you take your drink of choice and zoom way the hell in, that's when things really start to get trippy. Take a pina colada, for example, and see what it looks like on a microscope slide ...

Via Daily Mail
This must be what it looks like when Jimmy Buffett closes his eyes.

Whoa. So deep down, every pina colada is like staring at peacock feathers after dropping, like, all the acid. We're surprised we've never pissed out Joseph's Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat after overindulging on these.

You might think there's some computerized color enhancement at play here, but that's actually a photograph taken by BevShots, which achieved the effect by allowing the drink to dry on a microscope slide, shining some natural light onto it and taking an extreme close-up with a plain old 35 mm camera.

Let's look at a few more. Say you're not into the froufrou drinks, regarding yourself as more of a good old-fashioned beer man. Well, even a good old Irish stout gets a lot less manly when you get up close and personal enough:

Via Bevshots.com
Faith and Begorra!

What, not artsy enough for you? We've got you covered, because magnifying The Dude's favorite drink, a white Russian, looks like this:

Via Daily Mail

And while that looks like some kind of experimental artwork from the '70s, a margarita ...

Via Telegraph

... is channeling Georgia O'Keeffe.

We're honestly surprised by how beautiful all of these are. Knowing science, we were really expecting something creepy to pop in its freaky head, like maybe a drink that looks like a group of soulless eyes boring their way right past your eyeballs and straight on through the back of your skull or something. Hey, what's a vodka tonic look like?

Via Daily Mail
It's the only drink that judges you while you sip.

Goddammit, science. Well, shit, if alcohol looks like this, what do we find if we zoom in on ...

#5. Illicit Drugs

Getty

For something that has had such widespread effects on our society, including inspiring the invention of Coca-Cola and indirectly causing thousands of men to wear white jackets and no socks in the '80s, drugs sure don't look like much. But when they put them under the microscope ...

Via FSU.edu

Now that's more like what we'd expect heroin to look like. Zoom in enough and you've just recreated about half the covers of every techno album ever made.

But not all drugs look quite so bland in their normal, non-magnified state, right? Let's reach right into Breaking Bad and snatch out a rock of crystal meth. (It's important to note that, for any Cracked readers who happen to work in law enforcement, we're talking strictly figuratively here.)

Via Wikipedia
"I (Psychonaught) created this work entirely by myself." -- possibly the least surprising attribution on Wikipedia.

Huh. Yeah, it's actually kind of pretty. Give it a nice cut, polish it up and pop it into a ring setting, and you've got the perfect gift for your supermodel-thin, dentally challenged bride-to-be. But pop it under that same microscope as the heroin ...

Via FSU.edu

... and you've just covered the other half of all the techno albums.

But don't let us mislead you into thinking that only mind-altering substances are trippy when viewed close up. Here's some vitamin C, for instance:

Via FSU.edu
Now we can party and fight scurvy at the same time.

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