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5 Creepy Superhero Origin Stories The Movies Wisely Left Out

#2. The Hulk Has Rage Issues Due to Child Abuse

Marvel Super-Heroes #59 (1976)

The Origin We Know:

A gamma bomb, or some other source of gamma radiation, explodes in Dr. Bruce Banner's face and he turns into a green giant who punches things. The end.

But There Is Another Story ...

This being comics, nothing can ever be that simple. In an issue of The Incredible Hulk from 1985, it's revealed that Bruce Banner was a victim of child abuse. His dad was an angry alcoholic who beat young Bruce and accidentally killed his mother. You may remember this plot line from the Ang Lee Hulk movie, but probably not, because no one saw that shit.

Incredible Hulk #312 (1985)
"FWAK!" The tragic sound effect of child abuse.

It turns out that Bruce's dad was scared of him, even as a baby, because he was too smart. In this issue, the dad comes across his son building stuff with a play set on Christmas morning and flips the hell out:

Incredible Hulk #312 (1985)

This is where it gets different from the movie, though. Years later, a college-age Bruce confronts his dad at his mom's grave after he's released from prison for killing her. When Bruce's dad attacks him, Bruce angrily fights back, killing him ...

Incredible Hulk #1 (1997)
Death by groin kick.

... then immediately forgets about it, going back to being a quiet little nerd. He just had his first Hulk spell, years before being exposed to radiation and gaining the ability to turn into a giant monster. The implication here is that puny Bruce Banner was always destined to one day go out into the street in tattered shorts and attempt to smash tanks into buildings: The accident simply made him more efficient at it.

Incredible Hulk #312 (1985)
"This will save me a fortune in gym fees and green skin dye!"

In fact, we've already gone over the time the Hulk became a perfectly well behaved giant green dude after getting psychiatric treatment. If all superheroes did the same thing, though, there would be no more comics.

#1. Professor X Loves His Students a Bit Too Much (And Kills Billions as a Result)

The Origin Story We Know:

As the leader of the supposedly peaceful (and yet always fighting someone) X-Men, Professor Charles Xavier's goals in life are simple: to protect mutants, to peacefully promote mutant rights and to help mutants and humans live together. He even founded Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters to teach mutants to explore and control their powers, and definitely not to build his own personal mutant army. He's basically just an all-around awesome father-figure type to these kids, whom he loves.

But There Is Another Story ...

It turns out he kind of loves them a bit more than he should, at least in the case of Jean Grey.

The X-Men #3 (1964)
Yes, Professor, the only problem is the wheelchair.

Uh, yeah, so that's Professor X, easily in his 30s or 40s at the time, mentally admitting his complete and total love for his 15-year-old student Jean Grey way back in the third issue of X-Men. Not only is it super disturbing that this guy who leads and teaches kids on a daily basis was in love with his 15-year-old student, but it also means he's been in love with Jean basically every single moment of the X-Men's history.

So during every mission, briefing and training session the team's ever had, he's been making leadership decisions while secretly in love with one of his students and trying not to let it affect his judgment. And this has been going on for over 50 years, which is a terrifying amount of sexual repression, and he hasn't told a soul, except for Moira MacTaggert, the other woman he loves and can never be with.

Uncanny X-Men #101 (1976)
So, got a thing for redheads, Professor?

Now, we're not saying Xavier doesn't still love his students in a non-creepy way, but it sure puts a new spin on basically every interaction the guy has ever had with the team when you know that he's been desperately in love with Jean since she was a teenager, and if one recent alternate reality version of Xavier is to be believed, is still in love with her today.

Ultimate X-Men #77 (2006)
"This is my emotion face. Look. Look at it."

What's even more interesting about this is that when Jean originally joined the X-Men her only powers were telekinesis and hotness. It was Professor X who later insisted that they have secret meetings together where he granted her telepathic powers as well to prepare her for that time he faked his own death, making her twice as powerful as she had been before.

X-Men #43 (1968)

He could have given those mind-reading powers to anyone, like maybe Beast, who is super intelligent but a little useless in a robot fight, but he chose to spend all that time with and grant additional powers to the girl he had a secret crush on who could already defend herself just fine. Years later, this bites all of civilization in the ass, as Jean not only developed Xavier's tendency to die all the time, but also her powers evolved to godlike levels, to the point where she went crazy, started calling herself the Phoenix and destroyed a couple solar systems on a whim.

Uncanny X-Men #136 (1980)
"Haha, man, talk about dodging a bullet, huh? Shit is crazy."

But other than her eventually killing 5 billion people and then committing suicide, the whole thing worked out just fine.

Maxwell Yezpitelok lives in Chile, and you can bother him on Twitter. D. McCallum has more nerd comedy here, or you can follow her on Twitter.

For more origins you're not likely to see in movies, check out 6 Famous Characters You Didn't Know Were Shameless Rip-Offs and 7 Shockingly Dark Origins of Lovable Children's Characters.

And stop by LinkSTORM to see which columnist secretly wishes they were the Hulk.

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