We know from watching Law and Order that detectives have a difficult job, tediously interviewing suspects and following one false lead after another in order to catch a perp. But it's not always that hard -- occasionally, the criminals will throw the cops a bone and just hilariously bungle their way into prison. For example ...
9 Thieves Are Constantly Uploading Selfies from Stolen iPhones
So you've gotten your hands on the latest iPhone model, pilfered from an unwitting stranger. What's the first thing you do? If you said, "Find the nearest public restroom for an impromptu photo shoot," congratulations, you're a goddamn idiot. You're also, surprisingly, not alone.
If you've found yourself stealing phones to support your uncontrollable selfie habit, it might be good to know that lots of people have their phones set up to send all pictures straight to their email, or cloud storage. Albert Wilson didn't realize this, and after he snapped this charming portrait on the phone he stole, he was quickly apprehended.
He'd later claim Hannibal Buress was framing him.
And although she wasn't caught, much more hilarious are the photos of an as-yet-unidentified woman who stole Allen Engstrom's iPad. Engstrom returned the favor by posting the thief's glamor shots of Facebook.
There seems to be an unsettling correlation between phone theft and strabismus.
Then there is the Disney employee who stole Katy McCaffrey's iPhone last year while she was a passenger on the cruise ship he worked on. Katy gained Internet fame after she uploaded the photos that were streamed to her iCloud account to Facebook, narrating his life with sarcastic captions.
How does she know his name? Because in several pictures, his company name tag is clearly visible.
And thanks to those tight pants, that wasn't the only thing.
Nelson wasn't arrested for the theft, but the company placed him on "administrative leave." For her part, Katy is hoping to score some free passes to Disneyland out of the ordeal.
8 Multiple Criminals Have Butt-Dialed 911 While Committing Crimes
Accidentally dialing someone when your phone is in your pocket is one of those scenarios that sci-fi writers somehow never anticipated when they promised us personal communicators (you never saw Captain Kirk "butt-dial" the Romulans). And while it's bad enough when you accidentally call up an ex, it can't be much worse than what happened to Nathan Teklemariam and Carson Rinehart.
The pair were breaking into a car earlier this year when one of them butt-dialed 911. Confused by the voices that weren't directed at him, the dispatcher nevertheless stayed on the line, in case there was trouble. It wasn't long before talk of drugs, the sound of glass breaking, and discussion of just how exactly this car should be broken into made it clear to the dispatcher that it was in fact a police-type situation.
"Man, I hope no calls the cops about this Class-D felony we're currently committing."
While the dispatcher stayed on the line, police used clues from their conversation to find the thieves and began following them in the car. Their panicked conversation can be heard on the recording, hilariously confused about how they were found out. After he was told about the damning call, however, one of the men coolly summed up the matter with, "We really called 911? Damn."
Incredibly, the same thing happened to Scott Simon just a few days later, when he accidentally called the police while discussing a murder he was planning to (and later did) commit. Seriously, guys, you turn your phones off at the movie theater, for Pete's sake, maybe be a little conscientious of them while you're discussing the details of your felonies?
"Only Facebook humblebrags from now on."