5 Manliest Hobbies You've Never Heard of
#2.
Volcano Boarding
Volcano boarding is a sport so extreme that we're legally obligated to mention Monster Energy Drinks and the word "stoked" every time we bring it up. It was invented by Australian (of course) tour guide Darryn Webb who'd spent a good deal of his childhood learning to sandboard in the dunes of Queensland. So, while vacationing in Central America, he took one look at the Cerro Negro, a volcano so dangerous that it's erupted no fewer than 23 times in its 159 years of existence and said, "Same thing."
Via Uncrate.com
In his spare time, he shits continents.
Excited to try out his new idea, Webb attempted to ride down first on a mattress, and then, because he's apparently living his life in a Mentos commercial, on a minibar fridge (seriously, what the hell?).
Photos.com
"Mentos. 'We'll just watch from here.' "
Finally, he crafted the current design for the volcano board -- a hunk of plywood, because apparently, the best protection against a molten-spewing mountain is a flammable sled. But don't worry -- riders are also equipped with an orange jumpsuit and goggles, which will at least keep their vision from blurring when they're swept away by a river of magma.
Via coolthings.com
#1.
Train Surfing
If the prospect of getting decapitated by a tunnel or living the rest of your life with a scab for a scalp sounds appealing, have we got the game for you!
Via Topnews.ru
Train surfing picks up where train hoboing left off. But instead of operating out of a sense of desperation and hunger, train surfers do their best work under the influence if idiocy and alcohol.
Via Herald Sun
And hoodies, apparently.
The idea is simple: jump on a train, literally, and ride it with nothing but the occasional windshield wiper or air to hang onto. "S-Bahn" surfing, as it was known in its homeland of Germany, originated in the 1980s and swiftly grew into an epidemic by the next decade, thanks in part to constant media coverage. After a temporary relapse, the hardest core of hardcore train-related activities reemerged in 2005, when a mysterious man named the "Trainrider" climbed aboard Deutschland's fastest express and rode the bastard all the way down. In 2008, 40 kids died trying to do the same.
But don't make the mistake of thinking Germans have a monopoly on stupid. South African surfers hang off the train itself, running their feet in the gravel like Wile E. Coyotes, only without a definitive goal in mind.
CBS News
The incredibly difficult "kiss your shoulder before you fucking die" maneuver.
And that's when they're not using the speeding train roofs as their personal dance floors. And as one YouTube commenter pointed out, riders all seem to be a variation of the Cosby shuffle:
So we should probably give South African train surfers the trophy for most undignified way to die of all time: getting electrocuted while shimmying like Bill Cosby on top of a moving train. Good job, guys.
For more insane time wasters, check out The 10 Most Insane "Sports" in the World and 5 Ridiculous (Safe for Work) Fetishes.
"Extras" by Scott Westerfeld is prime sci-fi Trainsurfer's joy. Except they don't mess around with any of this sissy ground-dweller shit. They ride Mag-Levs (magnetive-levitation trains, which are currently already in existence and go about a bazillion miles per hour).
ReplyI would have thought train-surfing would be a thing in Japan.
ReplyIt is, *in the future*. Read the Uglies series by Scott Westerfeld and you'll get it.
Neat hobbies.
ReplySo this is what Darwin was on about...
ReplyUnder #4:
Reply"Unlike like airborne hookers..."
Um...grammar fail. :P
Man, they -are- doing the Cosby shuffle. Awesome.
ReplyI've gone volcano boarding in Guatemala. No lie. I have melted shoe soles to prove it.
ReplyI'll just assume Transformers 3 decided to add in the wingsuit scene because of my article, even though this ran just a few weeks before the movie premiered.
ReplyI need to hear more about that volcano surfing. I thought that just the heat in the air generated by a volcano was enough to melt a person.
ReplyTrain surfing originated in USSR iirc
ReplyChhaiyya Chhaiyya. That is all. XD
Replyumm, the wingsuit doesn't have extra pillows, but air chambers that fill up and give you extra lift
ReplyAir pillows then.
I can't help but think that crashing expencive farm equipment is incredibly wastefull, I live in rural fife Scotland So I see these alomost everyday over here they cost a 2500,000 pounds witch is like 4000,000 USD for a new one. Even the old ones are worth abit, third world places would be very greatful to recive one, just a thought...
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesThat's what I was thinking. Ordinary demolition derbies were fairly obvious. Take some old junkers that were ready for the heap, anyway, and smash them to pieces. Combines? That's something that was meant to last and be repaired and last some more. You could pass a combine down for generations. Destroying them like that's what's really crazy about it.
Great job of poopin in the swimming pool guys. It their stuff, let them do what they want with it. Beside, most of them have their threshing equipment worn out and it be ridiculously expensive to repair them enough to be usable or else the farmers would still be using them.
the equipment has to be obsolete and broken. That's one of the criteria for entry. So they're not smashing brand new equipment together.
they have a combine destruction derby in a town near my home every year. The combines they use are beyond worn out. I doubt if they would make one pass acrossed a field without breaking.down. Parts are unavailable for them, not even tires. The same combines are used every year, it does not take much to disable a combine. They even have two contest with only about 20 minutes in between, repairs are made with angle iron and welding and as long if tires still hold air they're good to go
I presume the people engaging in this are worn out also, to match the equipment.
The German trainsurfing was crazy, though...I though I was extreme when I hung on to the back of a car moving 30 km/h.
Replyyou're a regular evel knievel aren't you? 30 km/h that's about 18 mph? Wow
Volcano boarding reminds me of the sun flare surfers in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, except awesomer, because volcano boarding actually exists, unlike its wholly fictional sci-fi counterpart. But I'm willing to give it a few decades and see if it'll REMAIN fictional...
ReplyI think you'll find most things in life have a connection to Douglas Adams.
Thanks for that note... I'll just keep my towel on me for now on.
After reading this article my dick & balls increased in size about 400% and are also as hard as granite.
ReplySeriously, Volcano Boarding O__O Holy s**ttits!
The only one that surprised me was the surfboarding on an active volcano.
ReplyWell that's because you're cynical, see?
heard of wingsuits and train surfing
Replyhmm honestly i think Formula Offroad in Iceland should have been on this list. :)
ReplyHow can you possibly afford to wreck a combine? Don't they cost around 5 figures?
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesno more like 6.
Some farms (ie most farms in the US, at least in the Midwest) generally try to lose money, so they would buy a new combine every year or two or three (they get more money from the government by "losing" money than if they actually made a profit)
I wondered about that too, but figured they were old combines almost ready for junking. It's like how only beater cars participate in regular demolition derbies. (Well, except for that bit in Jackass where they take a new rental car to a demolition derby, destroy it, and try to return the wreck to the rental agency).
also many people forget to add in that since many farms are owned by companies, the corps tend to have contracts on equipment so problably look the other way when old equipment is damaged since insurance companies will tend to be more lenient on mass orders by corps