#2. Volcano Boarding
Volcano boarding is a sport so extreme that we're legally obligated to mention Monster Energy Drinks and the word "stoked" every time we bring it up. It was invented by Australian (of course) tour guide Darryn Webb who'd spent a good deal of his childhood learning to sandboard in the dunes of Queensland. So, while vacationing in Central America, he took one look at the Cerro Negro, a volcano so dangerous that it's erupted no fewer than 23 times in its 159 years of existence and said, "Same thing."
In his spare time, he shits continents.
Excited to try out his new idea, Webb attempted to ride down first on a mattress, and then, because he's apparently living his life in a Mentos commercial, on a minibar fridge (seriously, what the hell?).
"Mentos. 'We'll just watch from here.' "
Finally, he crafted the current design for the volcano board -- a hunk of plywood, because apparently, the best protection against a molten-spewing mountain is a flammable sled. But don't worry -- riders are also equipped with an orange jumpsuit and goggles, which will at least keep their vision from blurring when they're swept away by a river of magma.
#1. Train Surfing
If the prospect of getting decapitated by a tunnel or living the rest of your life with a scab for a scalp sounds appealing, have we got the game for you!
Train surfing picks up where train hoboing left off. But instead of operating out of a sense of desperation and hunger, train surfers do their best work under the influence if idiocy and alcohol.
Via Herald Sun
And hoodies, apparently.
The idea is simple: jump on a train, literally, and ride it with nothing but the occasional windshield wiper or air to hang onto. "S-Bahn" surfing, as it was known in its homeland of Germany, originated in the 1980s and swiftly grew into an epidemic by the next decade, thanks in part to constant media coverage. After a temporary relapse, the hardest core of hardcore train-related activities reemerged in 2005, when a mysterious man named the "Trainrider" climbed aboard Deutschland's fastest express and rode the bastard all the way down. In 2008, 40 kids died trying to do the same.
But don't make the mistake of thinking Germans have a monopoly on stupid. South African surfers hang off the train itself, running their feet in the gravel like Wile E. Coyotes, only without a definitive goal in mind.
The incredibly difficult "kiss your shoulder before you fucking die" maneuver.
And that's when they're not using the speeding train roofs as their personal dance floors. And as one YouTube commenter pointed out, riders all seem to be a variation of the Cosby shuffle:
So we should probably give South African train surfers the trophy for most undignified way to die of all time: getting electrocuted while shimmying like Bill Cosby on top of a moving train. Good job, guys.