6 Amazingly Intelligent Animals (That Will Creep You Out)
Animals may be extremely well-organized and insanely ballsy, but we'll always have one giant advantage over them: our intelligence. Also, cars and rocket launchers and such.
But thinking is what makes us human, and thinking means we'll always be the ruling species on this planet, because the rest of those guys are really stupid.
Well ... not all of them. So, in our latest attempt to make all of our readers afraid of Mother Nature, we give you ...
#6.
Alex the Genius Parrot
When a parrot says something like "hi", "I love you" or "f@#% off", you obviously assume that it doesn't really know what it's saying -- they're just mimicking human words in the same way that they'd copy the sound of a barking dog, or even (as some parrot owners know) a cell phone ringing. They're just like shitty tape recorders.
Alex the Parrot was different, though: he could correctly identify 50 different shapes, recognize numbers up to six, distinguish seven colors, and understand qualities such as bigger, smaller, same, and different. By the end of his life, he was getting closer to grasping the concept of nothingness.
He also inspired the cover art of a mid-70s prog rock album, judging by this image.
Alex didn't just associate a word with a specific object: he could generalize, which is usually something only humans can do. For example, when shown various keys, he could recognize that they were the same thing and even point out differences in size and color. If you still don't think that's impressive, take a look at this video of Alex interacting with his trainer, Dr. Irene Pepperberg, and try not to freak out when he asks her for some water:
Holy shit, that bird behaves more like a human than half the people we saw on the subway this morning. It's almost like he stepped out of a Pixar movie. One day, as Dr. Irene was closing up the lab, Alex said goodbye by telling her to "be good." Irene replied by saying "I love you," to which Alex answered, "I love you too." He then asked: "You'll be in tomorrow?" Irene assured him that, yes, he'd see her tomorrow.
The next morning, Alex was dead.
There appears to be something in our eyes.
They actually had conversations like that all the time (you can see a similar one here, at around 7:55). You can say that he was just faking his banter and emotions through years and years of social repetition, but at what point can't you say the same thing about humans? You only know to jokingly tell someone to "be good" when they head out for the night because you heard somebody else say it and remembered it.
Dr. Pepperbeg has taught some of Alex's tricks to other parrots, but so far none of them has displayed anything close to his freakish level of intelligence. So far, it looks like he was one of a kind. Maybe the specific circumstances of Alex's upbringing turned him into the only parrot capable of higher cognitive thought processes... or maybe he was a member of some sort of parrot-like alien race, who came to Earth seeking refuge and friendship. Ask yourself: which explanation is simpler and less creepy?
We're going with "alien".
#5.
Bees That Solve Complex Math Problems Better than Humans
The traveling salesman problem is all about finding the shortest route between various points, like a salesman who has to visit several houses and doesn't want to spend more gas than he has to. The problem is a lot harder than it sounds: depending on the number of locations and the distance between them, it can take a supercomputer several days to figure it out, since they have to go through and verify every single possibility.
Just like they have to "verify" the fantasies of every lonely suburban housefrau.
Bees, however, can solve it in a heartbeat.
How? No idea, they just can. When researchers showed them a bunch of artificially controlled flowers, the foraging bees took one look at the place and were instantly able to figure out the shortest route between them.
Even with the big red circle we can't understand what the answer is.
Yes, their tiny, almost nonexistent brains were able to calculate all the variables and solve the problem faster than a computer would. Apparently, it's just a matter of instinct: foraging bees have to visit lots of flowers every day, and since flying is a pretty energy-consuming task for them, they need to be able to know the shortest route in order to survive. So if a salesman can't do the same thing, it's obviously because he doesn't want it hard enough.
What's disturbing is that the exact method bees are using to accomplish this is still a complete mystery to us. Really, we have no idea how they do it, and perhaps it's time we started asking ourselves: What else do they know?
Why are there hairs on its eye?
#4.
Willow the Literate Dog
In 2009 viewers of shows like Tyra or The Today Show were introduced to Willow, a dog who can read, an ability which puts her at a superior intellectual level than most people watching the shows she appeared in. Willow can understand the cards her owner holds up and obey the commands written on them.
But that's an obvious parlor trick, right? Well, not exactly. It turns out, training a dog how to read is not as hard as you might imagine. Some experts point out that what Willow does isn't technically reading (in the way that humans read), but she can still recognize the shapes of words and understand what they mean (wait -- if that's not reading, then apparently we've been doing it wrong).
Also, if you watch the videos we linked to before, you'll notice that the typeset printed on the cards is completely different on each occasion ...
... meaning that Willow is responding to the words themselves, not the cards.
She's not the only one who can do that: this website offers complete instructions on how to teach your dog to read. The article points out that dogs who are learning to read sometimes mix up similar words like "TUG" and "TURN" (so they can recognize individual letters), and that there's no known limit for the amount of words the canine brain can remember. Some dogs are up to 30 words, meaning they could memorize the entire lyrics to "You Should Be Dancing" by the Bee-Gees.
And this is where it gets scary: the author of that article says that after she's taught her dog enough words, she plans to "place multiple words on the wall and teach him to focus on a single card through use of a laser pointer or similar device. Then, I would see if he could match words into simple sentences to tell me what he was thinking or feeling." So giving dogs access to the power of the written word isn't enough; we also have to equip them with lasers so they can express themselves.
No way this can backfire.
My grandma has an African Grey Parrot, and we're pretty sure that she actually understands what she's saying. When my uncle leaves, she asks where he is until he comes back. One time when I was visiting, she called herself a stupid bird, so my grandma and I laughed at her, and were pretty shocked when she told us to "Be quiet over there!"
ReplyThat dog, while impressive, has absolutely nothing on Skidboot (R.I.P.). He had incredible comprehension of the English language. Take a minute to look him up.
ReplyAlex is an African Gray Parrot--they are known to be able to possess intelligence approximating that of a three year old child. Still, this particular one is extra impressive.
ReplyThere was an African grey parrot (I believe that's the same kind as Alex) that was in the pet store by my house. I went in there about once a week and he would remember me and slide over to say hello when I came in. It was adorable!
Reply"One day, as Dr. Irene was closing up the lab, Alex said goodbye by telling her to "be good." Irene replied by saying "I love you," to which Alex answered, "I love you too." He then asked: "You'll be in tomorrow?" Irene assured him that, yes, he'd see her tomorrow.
ReplyThe next morning, Alex was dead."
That made me wanna cry :(
What makes me cry about the Alex situation is this: he never got to just be a parrot. He was a lab rat. He was worked for 10 hours per day, most days of the week. When did he ever get enjoyment out of life? When did he ever get to come to her house, climb on the back of the couch, and poop? When was he given toys just for him to play with? I feel what they did to Alex was more abusive than intellectual. I do plan to read the book so I can have an informed opinion of the situation, but I have an acquaintance who was good friends with Dr. Irene.
Nut he was treated with love and caring. He was not just a lab rat, he was her pet. He was a companion, like a dog would be. Some dogs work hours everyday, whether they are saving lives, leading blind people, or just helping their masters train other dogs. But they are not loved any less, and they are cared for probably a bit more than many other pets, which is a sad fact I admit. So just because he worked in a lab, he was still a normal parrot. My aunt had a parrot that she let roam her house. She loved that bird, and we think it loved her too, because the day she died, the parrot left. A week after that, he ended up at my mother's house, where he lives to this day. It's actually quiet an interesting story. The bird had never been to my mother's house, so how did it find her? But that's not the point. The point is...some horse wrote a book once.
Looks like the rest of the animal kingdom wants to get in on our turf.
ReplyI thought this section would be full of admiration for the dog painting. It's incredible! Squint your eyes and it looks just like the dog. Wonder how much this would sell for?
Replysorry i thought they're trying to convert that sea lion to Islam on account of the crescent... MA BADDD
Replymold eats breakfast cereal...
Reply"Shit, we can't even remember what the previous entry on this article was about."
ReplyAnyone else actually forget and scroll up?
I totally did.
It took my like 30 seconds, which is kind of sad.
The dog made me think of Clever Hans, the horse who could allegedly add and gave his answers by tapping a hoof. In reality, he was just tapping his hoof until he noticed subtle cues from the people watching him that he was at the right answer; Hans would suddenly his mathematical talent when problem was kept hidden from the people observing him. I'm not saying that this is definitely what Willow the dog is doing, just that I would have more faith in a demonstration in a lab than on the Today Show.
ReplyThan Hans the horse was able to read the subtle cues from people that accurately is amazing enough by itself.
And would be just the same if that was what the dog was actually doing.
Mold isn't an animal. It exists in the fungus kingdom.
Reply Hide All See All 7 RepliesNo, mold is a plant. It is in a class of very simplistic plants that reproduce using spores and have no vascular system (no xylem or phloem) -- I forgot the name of the phylum mold falls under. Fungi are an entirely different kingdom of eukaryote that are made entirely of little hair-like strands called (i think mycenia or else, those are the roots made of the little strands). Fungi also differ from plants due to fungi having cell walls made of chitin (the same substance that makes up the exoskeletons of insects) while plants have cell walls made of cellular (fiber), making fungi more closely related to animals than plants.
Damn Autocorrect
Citing --> Chitin
Cellular --> Cellulose
Everyone is wrong, no one is right. Mold is a fungus, not a plant. Slime mold (What the article is about) is a protist, not a fungus or a plant.
Regardless, the original poster was still correct in saying it is not an animal.
It's still a damn sight smarter than it should be.
To complicate the matter even further, there are several different types of what are commonly called "slime molds", which are not closely related to each other. One type, for example, is more closely related to fungi than it is to the other types.
mold are fungi, but that's not even relevant because slime molds are Protists.
The image of the horse in a bowler hat made me much happier than it probably should have.
ReplyPoor Alex :(
ReplyThen all these creatures grew opposable thumbs, and the Earth was destroyed.
Replywhy are thumbs required for that? dogs have f*****g teeth...
While we're here stuck chewing with thumbs
Watchmen panel ftw
ReplyWhy wasn't the damn super parrot #1? That video was incredible. Although if you listened carefully all he kept wanting to do was "go back" to his cage or perch or whatever. So he may be a f*****g incredible genius of a parrot, but what separates humans from animals is that we use our intelligence to build cities and complex machines. Animals, even freak of God smart ones, just want to "go back" and sit on their stick.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAgreed, the parrot should have been #1. As for the rest of your comment, I still think its pretty amazing what it did, considering its not human.
Another possibility is that he is nervous with all the cameramen and their equipment around, so he wanted to 'go back' to his perch, where he is familiar, or 'go back' to being in a room where he feels more familiar with the people and equipment. We all know how socially awkward many geniuses can be.
But agreed, it should definitely have come #1. Also really loved Michael the painting gorilla.
He also might have been tired of the experiments. Like when a child is doing school lessons with their parents and they just keep saying they want to be done with it.
The last part of the mould experiment is more a testimony to the efficiency of the Tokyo subway system than the intelligence of the mould.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesDon't you get it? Like the bees, the mold was able to find the most efficient paths instinctively. They did it wihout having to go to college.
In fact, if you look closely at the mold's path, I believe it could actually be more efficient than the railway because the mold didn't see the need to connect the nodes at the extremities.
BukuRuas, keep in mind that people in Japan don't want the most efficient system for getting to all the cities, they want to be able to get to each city efficiently. If you lived in one of the outer cities, you wouldn't want to have to go 3 times the distance just to get to another relatively close city.
If you take the human element out some of the slime mold's system is better than the human system, but yeah, it'd suck to be that city up at the very northeast.
It's still impressive, because it's a fungus. It doesn't have a nervous system.
As for the bees, I'm betting the majority of the bee's brain is devoted to that pathfinding, considering gathering nectar is the only thing it does.
the coincidence seems like testimony enough for both...
I have an african grey congo parrot (which is what Alex is) too. They really are remarkable. Mine is only 4 (they live up to be 60-80) and he understands when we're going to leave before we even leave, the names of our other pets (he says the name of the dog when he hears their bark and we didn't even teach him that), knows when dinner is ready before we announce it, can identify different fruits, and asks for water or a cracker or whatever he wants when he's hungry/thirsty.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesReally? Your dog barks and he says the name and you have NO IDEA where he could have possibly picked that up? Although the asking for different foods and water is what blows my mind. Not the fact that he knows what they are. My mutt dog knows the difference between a bone and a beggin strip and where we keep each one. The mind blowing difference is that my dog could care less if he eats a bone, a treat, or a bunch of grass if he's hungry. It's all just food/anti-hunger mouth stuff. The parrot actually has tastes and "wants". That is cool.
When I was working phone support, one caller had a parrot that purposely called the dog over to scold it.
@Jadotch: I know what that's like. I have a rainbow lorikeet (small parrot), and he barks like my dog, then calls my dog's name and tells her off for barking... all while my dog's being perfectly innocent. Out of the several phrases he knows, he's taken to calling our cat 'Uh-oh'. Kind of appropriate I guess.
Reading about Alex the parrot and Michael the gorrilla and his dog Apple actually made me cry. My doggie just died two months ago. I think animals are so smart and have just as many deep feelings as people. My doggie certainly did.
Replythe gorilla thing about his dog was the one that touch me in ways that only my stepfather did... that means that i cry silently after being touch... now talking seriously it is so cool that a gorilla can paint his pet, and name it after his favorite game! he has a favorite game like me and wow... maybe i am stupid as a gorilla or the gorilla is smart as me XD
I think the gorilla might be smarter.