How to Create a Plausible Superhero Origin Story [COMIC]
While it's important to come up with a cool character, the true test of a superhero is how well they're able to stay in that character ...
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Find out How to Decide Whether to Tell The Painful Truth and How to Explain Men's Emotions with a Useful Analogy.
welcome to ::[ w w w . Y a h c c . u s ]
Reply(b..r..a..n..d.)s.h.o.e.s.(34u.s.d),,
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[ w w w . Y a h c c . u s ]
Origin stories for female superheroes:
Reply1. rape
2. ...
How about I rape you and once you get my super sperm you be super too! b***h!!!
You're confusing the origin story with the gritty reboot.
This is the funniest Basic Instructions yet
Reply...and it's still s**t.
Do you know for a fact that its s**t?
Yes.
so many basic instructions posted on cracked suck, but this was an exception. and many of the comics on the basic instructions website are actually quite funny. it just seems like cracked only wants to show off the s**tty ones
ReplyHahaha. I like this one.
ReplyHa this was the best one I've seen so far
ReplyStop with the bad comics...
They're funny in the way where you can take lines out of them and make them funny in a different context
ReplyAlthough, tbh, I was focousing on the sexy cupcake ad
Aw I didn't get a sexy cupcake ad...
All I got was the Hulk, in all his naked green muscleyness...
These are usually pretty good, but this one was pretty weak.
ReplyDo not judge others, because you will be judged as you judge others by the Judger... or something like that......
I AM THE LAW!
Less 189 comments, more 130 ads, 59 actual comments.
ReplyHey, Do you want a f**kING INTER-RACCIAL RELATIO-NSHIP?! THEN GO TO f**kING AGEMINGLE.f**kINGCOM! You won't find any "big, black booties" here, only many, many viruses! And not viruses like STDs which means you had sex, the viruses that f**k UP YOUR COMPUTER! COME ON DOWN!
Reply Hide All See All 3 Replieslol
I feel harassed, while also really wanting to meet the person who wrote this advertisement.
Sounds like someone went to the spammers link.
'when i was a child my parents wouldnt let me have a knife. when they were slapped to death by a hemophiliac, i was powerless to save them'
Replymore of this, and you might have a good comic
I agree. Normally, these only warrant a chuckle. But that was the best line this comic has had.
I agree totally. Absolutely the funniest line of the comic!
Lol, I like these things, this one was especially good. Last panel went straight over my head tho.
ReplyThe Judge's judgment is vague and poorly considered, which was the reason for The Judge's banishment from the home world. It's called bringing a joke "full circle", usually used in stand-up.
I think they are interesting.
ReplySome superheroes obtain a thing that gives them powers, like an artifact or ring or outfit. It may be given to them, found by them, or even sometimes made by them. Although if he's suggesting that this is not to great, I guess I sort of agree.
Replyaww c'mon, "When they were slapped to death by a hemophiliac, I was powerless to save them," is pretty damn funny
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesOnly if you're 12-14 years old and have never read that same joke thousands of times before.
I'm 22-24 years old and never heard it before. I think it's pretty funny.
You've read thousands of hemophiliac jokes? What sites are you going to?
I bet he *is* a slapping hemophiliac.
:S these comics aren't funny
ReplyMy words exactly
This is stupid
ReplyThis is great.
Reply^_^
ReplyWOW LOL OMG FUNNEE HOW RANDUM TOO WTF IS THE KNIFEGUY HOLDING A BOXING GLOVE THAT IS SO RANDUM LOL OMG HOW FUNNY AT THE END I WAS WAITING FOR AN EXPLANATION AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AMAZING BUT INSTEAD SHE WAS LIKE "MEH" OMG ROFL I LIKE HOW YOU LOOK SMUG IN THE PPICS BECOS IT MAKES YOU LOOK CLEVER AND YOU HAVE OBSERVATIONS THAT ARE CLEVER AND U R ALSO IRONIC LOL WOT U SHUD TRY DOING IS WRITING DOWN STUFF THAT HAPPENS EVERYDAY WHEN U R SHOOTIN THE BREEZE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND IN THE PIC AND THEN LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND THEN GO "OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY WE SHUD MAKE UP A COMIC ABOUT IT I CAN DRAW GOOD AND U R FUNNY" AND THEN COPY AND PASTE UR FAT SUPERCILIOUS EXPRESSION ONTO SOME OBSERVATIONS THAT MADE U LAFF WHEN U WERE 11 LIKE ABOUT SUPERHEROES HAHA LOL THAT WUD BE AWSUM KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GUYS GOATEES WITH BALD HEADS IS REALLY ORIGINAL TOO I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT PARTICULAR COMBINATION ITS LIKE U WUD BE A BORING EGG HEAD 4 EYED DWEEB BUT NOW U LOOK LIKE A BANDIT MAYBE OR A PIRATE OR SOMETHING REALLY DANGEROUS MAYBE U SHUD DO A COMIC ON WITTY OBSERVATIONS ABOUT DAILY LIKE THAT ALSO HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE AND TO ALL THE PPL WHO LIKED THIS AWSUM SHIZZLE A BIG SHOUT OUT TO YOU SEE YOU ALL AT SCHOOL 2MORROW LOLS RANDUM LOLS RANDUM ALERT!
Reply Hide All See All 11 Repliesi wish your mother had an abortion.
Cool story, bro.
Your father should have pulled out.
I don't know if he's making fun of himself or not, but if he is, it's not funny. I want to gouge my eyes out right now, and I wish I did it a minute ago before I read this comment.
hey, Bro, cool story.
Yet another example of a striking need for retrospective abortion.
I finally get to say this!
tl;dr
HEY COOL STORY BRO
I think it's too late to tell your father that you must pull your junk out if you don't wanna have kids
CAPSLOCK HELLO
you're not a eunuch.. are you?