How to Subtly Tell Someone They're Creeping You Out [COMIC]
Some people are bad at judging the words that come out of their own mouth ...
Basic Instructions is a twice weekly updating web comic that offers absurd advice on how to live your life. Some of those updates will be happening here on Cracked.
Find out How to Decide Whether to Tell The Painful Truth and How to Explain Men's Emotions with a Useful Analogy.
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HA
Reply"Puns are the desperate,horny men of the joke world"
Why did it take this long to come up with a line like that?
So, do all of this guys comics consist of white knighting for the attractive women that he maintains platonic relationships with? He's two for two so far...
ReplyWhat a sad guy.
Uh, you've obviously never checked out his website. Try gathering just a little more data before making stupid comments.
ArielDanielle is right. He also spends a lot of time being verbally abused by his wife.
What does that being mean nobody likes puns? f**k him. Puns can be glorious.
ReplyI read the last line of that post in Morgan Freeman's voice for some reason.
Oh this comic is so hilarious X'D I once read through the entire archive on the site and it was amazing.
ReplyWow, the author once again captures the plight of hit-on women with eery accuracy.
ReplyWell done
Reply"I've considered it" lmao
ReplyYour stuff isn't blunt enough, its all dry, which could be hilarious, if your characters weren't painstakingly slow at making a point.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesIf you consider this to be dry, then you must be a huge fan of (insert any Wayan's Bros. movie). This is clearly not obvious enough for you. Also, if by "painstakingly slow" you mean a four-frame comic, then you must have the attention span of a gnat.
@ ffdpmaggot They seemed to make the point at the same rate at which I read.... Hmmm.... Maybe you read slow?
Guy, guys, seriously, it isn't cool to make fun of the mentally handicapped.
Well said.
^^^^^^^^^^^^ Sugarmommamatch. C O M ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesAn attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with milfs...
Wait, who are we hunting and killing?
Billy Ray Cyrus, goreknife. Then Michael Bolton.
Then, we infiltrate Disney labs and unhook the support tubes from their frightening child and teen stars.
f**k i hate this comic, its like, he imagines what a funny conversation would sound like, then makes it into a comic, but its not funny, its annoying... yeah..
Reply Hide All See All 5 Repliessuckmydinner I swear I'll find the man who's forcing you to read these comics at gun point and send him away to an awful jail, I swear, buddy, you will be avenged for this forced-comic-reading!
Sprayette is right.
Also, learn to use punctuation marks. And ending a sentence with "...yeah..." implies you were stoned while writing this and chose to actively *scratches chin* annotate everything thought and/or said.
You get what you pay for.
@rrrhys dude was probably stoned, its cracked*scratches chin*...yeah...
"its like, he imagines what a funny conversation would sound like..."
Well...yes, I suppose that would be part of the process of writing this comic.
These suggestions would not work on Chris Chan.
ReplyWhat this comic needs is a POW!
ReplyThe perfect blend of Dilbert and Terrible.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesIt's as though the creator shot Scott Adams in the head, raped his body and then held it up to allow his ass excrement to drip down onto an empty comic strip.
Some basic instructions for the creator: Light yourself on fire, jump off of a cliff and slit your throat in mid-air.
Really? This comic was pretty good. I mean, there was no point that you were going to burst into super-hysterical laughter, but that never happens on cracked unless you've got Swaim and DOB in the same video. Honestly, these are decent comics. Much better than Fatawesome and without the implied feminism of subreality.
ass excrement as opposed to his finger excrement, right?
It's good to be incredibly spiteful about things you don't like. Give the guy a break!
Basic instructions is like a comedy trainwreck. I know it's going to be terrible, but I'm compelled to read it to see just HOW terrible. It's so unfunny that it's mesmerizing. The fact that anyone manages to find it even slightly funny makes me feel like I'm tripping balls. I guess that's the nicest thing I can say about it.
ReplyI've noticed that you comment on EVERY SINGLE BASIC INSTRUCTIONS COMIC about how much you hate them. If you really hate them so much, don't f**king read them!
Dude, he said he gets high off them. That's totally a great excuse to read every one of them and comment on how bad they are.
This comic has more words than a comic should.
ReplyI don't understand the hate people have for this comic. If it's too much reading for you, then why are you on a site that publishes articles?
He needs the Cliff Notes' version of the comic.
PaleHorse said: "There seems to be a strange affliction running through the CRACKED readership wherein people are forced to click every single link provided, read it in its entirety and then cram as much sand as possible up their vaginas. I think I'll start a fund for these poor souls."
Replyi couldnt have said that any better. i would just reply to the comment buts its far down on the page and people need to see it dammit! this comic isnt that bad and it takes 30 secs to read so dnt b***h cause it didnt make you lol
Oh, f**king button click lag and the failure of "you can't post for 30 seconds."
Reply
Reply
ReplyI've been reading Basic Instructions for about a year now, so I was pretty happy to see it on Cracked. It's a bit too gentle for most of the regulars I think ... maybe Morning Glory Comics would be better for most of them :P
ReplyThat said, Scott does awesome work. It's just a bit different. His logo is win, though you can't properly see it here.
Anyway, people quit whining. Not like you pay for to read this s**t. Go read C&H.
Calvin and Hobbes or Cyanide and Happiness?