7 Real World Heists That Put 'Ocean's 11' to Shame
It has been said that life imitates art, but there's more than a few times that history's shown real life kicks art's ass. Danny Ocean might have had some big plans in his movies, but he can't hold a candle to some of history's more daring real-life thieves.
#7.
Cool Hand Vincenzo
In 1911, Vincenzo Peruggia had only worked at the esteemed Louvre Museum for one month when the young Italian first encountered the Mona Lisa. Feeling that the famed painting belonged back in its native Italy, Vincenzo spent the next three weeks researching. He studied the museum's entrances, exits, the locks and he even profiled the security guards and found that their "lazy work habits" were perfectly suited to his purposes. After a careful period of casing the joint and its inhabitants, on August 21, 1911, he pulled off what was referred to at the time as the crime of the century.
The Plan:
He knew that the museum would be closed Monday morning for repairs, and after hiding inside the museum the whole night, Vincenzo donned a smock and swept the Mona Lisa off her feet with one furl of his fabric. Seeing at least 10 people working nearby and being illegally in the possession of the most famous piece of art known to the planet might weaken the resolve of lesser men, but Vincenzo kept his cool.
He moved down a nearby stairway, probably humming the Mission: Impossible theme to himself, and freed Mona from her frame. When the downstairs exit was locked, Vincenzo thinking either on his feet or like a caveman ripped the doorknob off the door and convinced a nearby plumber that it was stolen. A reminder: The dude with the Mona Lisa on his person was making a fuss to a plumber about a stolen doorknob. The plumber let him out and bam: The crime was complete.
Apparently basic skepticism hadn't been invented yet.
Vincenzo expected a hero's welcome back in Italy and a hefty reward for the painting, but Florence's Uffizi Gallery just fluffed his balls long enough to authenticate the painting and put the poor dumb sap under arrest. Vincenzo was sentenced to jail, but served minimal time as the patriotism of his act was considered a "mitigating factor." Remember that the next time you appear in traffic court. You weren't speeding. You were speeding for America.
Those pedestrians you hit were probably terrorists or something.
Stop the PIPA and SOPA acts, Cracked wont be allowed to post anymore of their copyrighted videos or links.
ReplyI bet you like to take money out of ATM machines that have LCD displays that are illuminated by light emitting LED's.
From what I've read of Charles II, he was pretty open-minded and sort of a bon vivant. Doesn't surprise me he let the guy off.
Reply"We have a pretty, witty king
Who did never a fool thing or a wise one."
Did "King Leonidas" remind anyone else of the movie Ladykillers?
ReplyGreat article, little surprised the Securitas depot robbery didn't make the list though...they made off with £53m (although most of those involved have now been caught).
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesIt doesn't put the movies to shame if you get caught. I thought that was the first rule of heists.
number one got caught...
Number 4 got killed.
AMAZING
Reply7 - Pesky plumbers!
Reply6 - Too bad they couldn't share cells.
5 - I am glad this article was not about diarrhyea as the title might have suggested.
4 - I always thought John Brown looked like God in that picture.
3 - Shiny.
2 - No "300" joke with that name?
1 - He was a member of the Bloods!
Every time i read one of your posts part of me dies a little inside.
How is Frank Abagnale not on this list?
ReplyFrank Abagnale was a con artist. He tricked people into giving him things, which doesn't qualify as a heist.
First of all, I'm Argentinian, not American and my English is far from being perfect.
Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesWhile I was reading the list, I was expecting to find the Acassuso heist, but I guess it wasn't that famous outside Argentina. Let me give you the short version:
In 1999, there was a bank robbery in the city of Ramallo. The heist ended up in tragedy when the robbers tried to scape. They took the bank mannager, his wife and son as hostages and drived away. The police opened fire against the car, killing everybody inside it but the mannager's wife. This was known as the Ramallo Slaughter and it ended the happy trigger policy that policeman had.
The reason I'm telling you about this is because in 2006 there was another bank robbery that was planned keeping the Ramallo Slaughter in mind.
The 5 thieves walked into the Río Bank of Acassuso, took 23 people as hostages and told the 200 policeman standing outside to take the snipers out of sight or they'll kill a hostage in front of the TV cameras. The police wouldn't risk to let the Ramallo episode to repeat, so they order all the agents on the bank and surrounding buildings' rooftops to leave.
Inside, the thieves ate pizza, drank cokes and even sang the Happy Birthday to one of the hostages. Outside, the police and the Hawk Group (the Argentinian version of S.W.A.T) tried to find out a way to get inside the bank without cassualties.
After a whole day of planning, when the police decided to enter the bank, they found out that the only ones left in the building were the hostages. There was a tunnel leading to the sewers, toy guns and a note that said "In a moneybags' neighbourhood, without guns or hard feeligs. Is just money, not lovers" (it sounds better in Spanish). The robbers were long gone, with a loot of 8 millon dollars from the 145 safe-deposit boxes they opened.
According to one of the robbers, they scaped so fast that by the time they got to their homes, they saw the heist being broadcasted on TV.
It was the perfect crime. Well, almost.
Do you know the saying "hell has no fury like a woman scorned"? A few months after the heist, one of the thieves, now a welthy man, though he deserved a better spouse, so he left his wife for a younger woman. As payback, his ex reported him and all the band members she knew of to the authorities. Only four members got arrested and 2 millions were recovered.
Many theories were made, most of them suggesting that it was an inside job, but nothing could be proved and the brain behind the heist was never caught.
And, by the way, the trial of the four men started on February. And yes, I mean February 2010 and it still hasn't ended.
Tl;dr
That was a pretty interesting one. thanks kiki
That was pretty cool... I'd watch a movie about it.
I agree with runfromthecat and feliciano, it was really cool. I really hate it when people pass over comments like these that are really interesting just because they are too long.
I heard of this heist and it was pretty awesome. was kinda hoping it would be on the list :-/
HAHA. Pretty funny his wife reported him...I would have done the same thing actually.
I read this awhile ago, just wanted to say thanks to Cracked staff for posting this as "Reminder:" I don't have anything against reposting older stuff, I just always thought it was a little misleading when it was posted right alongside the new stuff with nothing marking it as otherwise. Good job.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesAgreed.
Agreed
me too
well, if you haven't read it, then it is new.
The Mona Lisa became as famous as it is because of that heist, before that it was just another of the hundred of Leonardo's paintings.
Reply Hide All See All 11 Repliesyer stoopid
I am so glad that you could take a moment out of your busy schedule of masturbating to reply on my comment. Thank you.
Yoor stuppid
I'm confused, are Cracked commenters known for being excessive masturbaters? Is idiocy somehow connected to stupidity? Or, (and know that this one is really far fetched) are you just a moron who can't insult somebody correctly?
I like to laugh at monkey farts
I also enjoy the subtle comedy of flavourful monkey flatulence.
Also, shamchimp has an awesome username.
My thanks, good sir.
D_Mars iz stopid
Yur all *pant pant* stu - stu - stu *pant pant* stu - stu - stu...
you are an idiot. Today we have very, very few works of Leonardo still in our hands. They are ultra rare and most are disputed. Probably in your ignorance, every renaissance painting you see is a Leonardo's. The Monalisa is famous for a lot of reason (being the symbol of the second Renaissance, being innovative in its style, very imitated and cited by other artists, very reproduced). And yes, you are an idiot.
*Reading comment conversation* What?
Old articles are being reposted on the front page. Are we running out of ideas? (Not saying it's a bad article...)
Replyits the weekend they run repeats.......like they do every f**king goddamn week for a f**king while now, get with the program.
Dude, chill out.
This formatting sucks. Two pages I can deal with, but a page for each item seems a little desperate.
ReplyThe staff will no doubt compensate you monetarily for the horrible inconvenience of having to click your mouse more than twice.
7 motherf**king pages. 7. WHAT THE FUСK CRACKED.
ReplyYes, it's called information. You would have complained it they stuck everything on 2 pages with just a few sentences. Some things are worth an extra mouse click. douchebag.
It's a bit more than an extra mouse click if you've got a s**t internet connection, which many people have. It usually takes my computer two minutes to load up a page, on a good day. It's not worth the time it takes to read the whole thing if it's seven pages long, with only a few sentences on each page. If it was all on one page it would only take a couple of minutes to read the whole thing. Two pages I can put up with if I like first half of the article. Seven pages? I've gotta agree with the guy who said WHAT THE FUCK? Seven pages is a little excessive, you have to admit.
I'm a sucker for articles like this. Thankfully this one came through. Nice.
ReplyNow why do people feel such a need to pick on Detroit? It. Isn't. That. Bad.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI mean honestly look at places in California. Oakland anyone? How many episodes of "Gangland" are based in Detroit?
"Detroit? It. Isn't. That. Bad."
True if you don't live there
Ah, if only telling oneself and others something made it true. Detroit is a pox-ridden wasteland.
Robocop likes it.
Talking. Like. This. Just. Makes. You. Look. Like. An. Idiot.
Where's the Lufthansa heist in 1978, that was the largest amount of money stolen on U.S soil, 5 million dollars. Plus it was in Goodfellas which was based on a true story. Great article thought
ReplyFor a greatest hits article this has few comments.
ReplyNevermind, I can swear LOL.
ReplyI hate it when there is so many pages, also, I hate that Cracked lets the writers swear, but not us.
Reply Hide All See All 5 RepliesFuck!
You know there's a "show profanity" button...right?
I can see his "f**k!" without clicking the show profanity button. Why is this so?
I can see it too! What the f**k?
I think a mod might've done it to be ironic.
Fuсk. Sнit. Сunt.
These are signs of superiority of cyrillic letters, my friends.
cool article
Reply