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The 5 Circles of Baffling Web Comic Hell

By David Wong, Nick Coffin August 10, 2009 876,423 views
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The Webcomic Evangelists

You do not find the run-of-the-mill religious comics wandering this circle of webcomic hell. No, there is certainly no shortage of comics designed to angrily insult people into or out of their religious faith, and while we may disagree with them, at least their message is clear.

But then you have these, the David Lynch-esque comics, seemingly created by feeding the Bible and a stick of dynamite to a goat, and then drawing the bloody aftermath. Do you agree with their message? Disagree? You'll never know. Let's look at a pair of creationist comics from artist Dan Lietha...

#7. After Eden and CreationWise:

Take note of the time. Now stare at the following comic until you think you've got your mind wrapped around its meaning:

Welcome back. If you're like me, about six hours have passed since the last sentence. We know from reading the rest of his site that cartoonist Dan Lietha is a Christian man. But it appears that, from this strip at least, he believes that behind the doors of time lies Cthulhu. And he will eat your Bible.

I don't pretend to understand this man's interpretation of Christianity, but I'm already pretty sure it kicks ass. Let's pull out another one, this is from his other strip, After Eden:

That one took about four hours. I called in sick to work. No, it's not one panel out of a longer story arc. It appears to be a new chapter in the story of Adam and Eve, one where Eve builds a dummy version of herself out of sticks and coconuts so she could either escape Adam, or perhaps lure him into a booby trap for whatever nefarious purpose. Perhaps to eat him.

Then we have this portrayal of the After Eden method of winning over converts:

...which appears to involve rigging your bible with poison darts. "Cain's wife? Sure it's right here in-"

FFFFFTTTTHHHPPP!!!

Ker-plunk!

By the way, this comic is brought to you by the same guys who run The Creation Museum in Ohio. Which kind of makes me want to buy a ticket.

#6. FaithMouse:

Oh-oh. Somebody at their computer monitor just muttered, "Well, religious comics certainly can't get any more confusing than that." Fool! You just uttered the magic words to summon FaithMouse into our dimension.

Study the strip above. Well that... sort of makes sense. Tree of religious liberties, shredded into toothpicks by the godless ACLU and its... Porno Possum lunchbox. So how about...

That's right, sinful world! A new Pope is in town, and he's not going to stop mowing at the boundaries of your lawn, like that old Pope. No, he's going to mow right over your fucking landscaping!

Wait, is this a pro or anti-Catholic comic? Let's find another Pope episode to clarify it for us.

Huh. Is he... saving that sleeping woman? Kidnapping her? By the way, there's a "you'll shit bricks" moment when you realize the gray mass is a crowd of people.

Alright, let's get to the bottom of their stance on Catholicism by taking a look at their comic discussing Obama's controversial visit to Notre Dame:

Huh.





Huh.

Let's... let's just put FaithMouse down and slowly back away...

Far, far away.

Unfortunately, it only gets worse...

CONCESSIONS!!! That is all I have to say. my friend got me hooked on its insanity and now I can't get enough.

11/4/2009 3:48:58 PM
Thiefenz

I've messed up the formatting...so be it. Here's the links then:

http://www.freeratio.org/thearchives/showpost.php?p=1954753&postcount=22

11/3/2009 3:09:52 AM
just_myself

In regards to that John Rule character, someone tried to write to him. This is the result.

Rule is more messed up than one would think. He seems to sympathize with the Muslim terrorists when it comes to hating democracy.

At least with the Dan Lietha cartoons from the page 2, there are a bunch of parodies out there to help wash the taste away.

11/3/2009 3:06:45 AM
just_myself

Oh, wow, Diversity Lane is hilarious! One of my new favorite webcomics ^_^

11/1/2009 2:48:10 PM
katrisa

Texas, go to hell. You are not wanted, and contribute nothing.

10/30/2009 2:36:01 PM
PIRATEKING

Dear god Billy The Heretic looks awful.

10/29/2009 2:58:29 PM
PIRATEKING

i had entirely forgotten about this article as of yesterday, and, as a result, began reading concessions. i didn't ever realize it was insane until . . . you know . . . the pedophilia. what has been seen . . .

10/11/2009 11:30:20 AM
theavenger121

I think I figured out the first Lietha comic. If you're a Christian and you get lured by evolution into opening the door on millions of years, you'll be raped by Japanese tentacle monsters.

10/1/2009 5:33:12 PM
jdev

You forgot about Sonichu.

9/27/2009 9:03:16 PM
hamsterjelly

quote muzic_91: "go suck a big one and die you tex fagg"

It's nice to see people fighting bigotry with bigotry. Effective method, that. I'm amazed that your comments haven't already inspired TexasFirst to reform his terribly misguided opinions. And TexasFirst: please read your last sentence and consider very carefully the definition of the word irony.

Regarding the article, my one shameful admission is that I read Concession for awhile; at first it seemed like there may have been some layer of depth there that was waiting to be uncovered; but no, just creepy fetish, narcissistic self-pitying and angst, not to mention incomprehensible story arcs. I am so glad I was able to look away from that train-wreck. Ick.

9/19/2009 6:25:30 PM
coldkingnowhere

TexasFirst: Please go soak your head in a vat of acid.
Also: Texas sucks, the south sucks, and your education, definitely sucks.

9/19/2009 12:18:27 PM
HundeDesKrieg

I think it's worth noting that in that last one the explosion is in the general location of Israel, so it's probably some Rapture-related thing.

Also, I think TexasFirst is hilarious. I'd congratulate him for his creativity in spoofing extreme bigotry, but I get the impression you just can't make that s**t up.

9/18/2009 2:02:06 PM
gatotsu911

Wow, i lol'd when i saw tex's comments, like seriously laughed out loud, i bet he thinks it was a good idea that texas annexed itself from the USA, and prob thinks that they should do it again, so that they can kill all the mexicans (prob half their state) and african americans (maybe a third, im just making this s@## up) and run the whole damn thing on white power, in the words of me, go suck a big one and die you tex fagg

9/18/2009 9:08:42 AM
muzic_91

Wow, this is the last time I scroll down to the comments on this site, I'm disgusted that people like this Texas jackoff even exist. In the words of Nathan Explosion, Go Die.

9/10/2009 11:19:32 PM
junkiejesus

Check out Gnartoons.com for some very amusing web comics.

Check out TexasFirst's comments if you want to be reminded why you don't live Texas.

9/8/2009 4:44:44 PM
Alabastorjones

It is surprising how much hate that Jews have for the rest of the world. About 90% of Jews are Turks, and less than 10% of the Jews are Hebrews (Arabs) according to the Jews, who don't even count the black Jewish Majority (more than 50% of all Jews) and they don't even allow black Jews into Israel, the Jewish Utopia. Still the Jews find time to hate Christmas Trees (all the law suits filed against public displays of Christmas Trees are filed by Jews) Jesus (whom the Jewish holy book says is being boiled in semen in Hell) Arabs (eventhough Hebrews are Arabs) Turks (eventhough most of the Jews they admit to are Turks) blacks (eventhough the ignored majority of Jews are black) and it seems, everyone else on the planet. Don't the Jews ever run out of hate?

9/8/2009 3:45:14 PM
TexasFirst

Obama wrote a book, and stated in his own words that he hates white folks. The only “job” he ever had was working as a “Community Activist” (paid Communist Party employee) in “his community” the black community.

Nearly everyone who voted for Obama simply voted for him because he is back, does that make them all Racists, or are only White Man racists?

It is obvious that the White Folks who voted for Obammy aren’t the type who read books, but perhaps they could invest enough time to read a cartoon that tells the truth about the Ant-White Racist Homosexual Kenyan Communist Illegal Alien.

9/8/2009 3:29:54 PM
TexasFirst

"You forgot the morons who think watching 8 hours of Anime a day and laboriously copied the notoriously easy japanese manga style means they aren't completely unoriginal pieces of crap.

An example: Boondocks."

Here we go again with the "easy to draw" argument. And ragging on Boondocks? For shame.

9/7/2009 6:16:09 PM
UncleNorathOWEN

I would like to point out a webcomic, NEDROID (www.nedroid.com) because of 2 reasons: The main character is named beartato, and there is no profanity in his comics. Not that I don't mind a good dirty comic, but it is impressive.

8/24/2009 11:42:25 PM
Samrockswin

@BobCratchit: Way to be an ignorant d******e and completely miss the point of Boondocks.

8/23/2009 1:04:58 PM
tamago
Cracked stuff on