7 Celebrity Careers That Launched by Accident
Hollywood is filled with plenty of rags to riches stories. Jim Carey worked as a janitor, Demi Moore was a debt collector, Brad Pitt used to wear a chicken suit while handing out fliers and Sharon Stone worked (works?) at a McDonald's.
But some actors' beginnings can be attributed to not hard work, but sheer chance or accident. Such as...

Even though he's turned into a walking punchline the last few years, there's no denying Mel Gibson will go down as one of the biggest stars in Hollywood history. His movies have made two billion dollars in the US alone and he's got two Oscars to go with it.
But Gibson's accidental stumble into stardom started in New York, where he was born (not Australia, as it turns out). Gibson's father, Hutton, filed a lawsuit against the city and won. After collecting his money, he moved his family to Australia. It was in this dingo-infested continent that a young Mel started to dabble in acting, and would get his big break due to a ridiculous, drunken stroke of luck.

What Happened?
Gibson went to the National Institute of Dramatic Art in Sydney. There he would perform in some stage productions, including the male lead in Romeo and Juliet, with Judy Davis as his co-star.
However, Gibson didn't consider a film career until a friend told him he needed a lift to audition for a movie. It was about a desolate, waste of a world in which gasoline is hunted by gay bikers.
Apparently, he still wasn't considering a film career, because the night before the audition, Gibson got into a drunken brawl at a bar. He dragged himself to the audition sporting a face full of fist shaped bruises. The director happened to catch sight of his sorry ass. Deciding that he already looked like he was living in a dystopian future, he asked him to come back because, as he put it, the film "needed freaks."

When Gibson did return, his wounds had healed into an unrecognizable mask of handsome manliness. The director asked Gibson to read for the only character who doesn't look like a blistered freak, and he landed the titular role in Mad Max , the franchise that would make him known around the globe.

LOST is widely thought to have become a hit for two reasons: a twisting, confounding plot and an often-moist Evangeline Lilly.

After LOST debuted, Lilly immediately shot to the top of every list ever made to chart hotness, including Maxim's (twice) and FHM's. We guess she's a pretty good actress too, since she was nominated for a Golden Globe. Of course, all the fanfare could be short lived. Lilly announced that after LOST is over, she intends to put her career on hold and become a humanitarian.

Yeah. A boner humanitarian!
What Happened?
Now usually when an actress claims to be a "humanitarian," it's because her agent had to explain to her that "vegetarian" is no longer socially-conscious enough, and "planetarium" is a type of building, and therefore also out of the question. But becoming a humanitarian isn't a stretch for Lilly. Before she was an actress, she was doing missionary work in the Philippines. After declining a two-year post, she became a flight attendant with Air Canada.
Things, however, changed one day when she was walking around Kelowna, British Columbia, and was spotted by a scout for the Ford modeling agency. She almost declined, but decided she needed the money to pay for school. While not actually doing any modeling for the company, she did do some acting for them. Like this tasteful ad.

That's right: Kate, from LOST, used to star in phone sex ads in Canada. For a young ex-missionary, we'd imagine that starring in Canadian phone sex ads was as lonely and existentially terrifying as anything the LOST writers can think up to throw at her.

The quintessential blonde bombshell, Monroe was married to baseball great Joe DiMaggio, and romantically linked to the penises of men as famous as John F. Kennedy and Frank Sinatra (if you'd like to imagine an interlinking chain of penises here, we won't stop you). She posed nude for the first issue of some up-and-coming gentlemen's magazine called Playboy and showed up in some movies, too.

What Happened?
The original blonde bombshell Marilyn Monroe was neither blonde nor named Marilyn Monroe, though her early career was closely linked to bombshells, oddly enough. Born a brunette named Norma Jeane Mortenson in LA, she spent her childhood moving between foster homes and orphanages.

When she grew up, Monroe worked at a munitions plant where she inspected parachutes and sprayed airplanes to make them fire retardant. It was at this plant that a photographer for YANK magazine (a publication intended to boost morale of troops overseas apparently through the magic of double entendres) snapped a photo of Monroe for the cover.

The photographer pointed out to her that she was smoking hot and had the kind of breasts that could change the world. So she took acting classes, cut and dyed her hair blond and became a legend.
So let that be a lesson: If some random guy shows up at your job and takes a picture of you, you should absolutely do whatever he says. He only wants what's best for you.

If you're asking who Rosario Dawson is, then we feel sorry for you. Very sorry. But despite the misfortune of landing roles in The Adventures of Pluto Nash, The Rundown and Josie and the Pussycats, Dawson's built a pretty solid career.

Her star isn't the only thing on the rise.
Those shitty roles allowed her to later pick up parts in MIB II, Rent and she even showed us the goods in Alexander. Unfortunately she was wrestling a greased up Colin Farrell at the time, but the goods were, nevertheless, delightful. More roles in movies like Sin City, Grind House and Clerks II solidified her spot as an actress with some decent range.

The other thing on the rise was our boners, by the way.
What Happened?
Born in New York City to a 17-year-old mother, Dawson grew up in the Lower East Side, living by the ethos, in her own words: "If you wanted something better, you had to do it yourself." She may have picked up this ethos from her mom, as the apartment they grew up in was initially abandoned, and only became home when her mother broke into it. She may have a New York accent, a kickass body and a distinct absence of moonshine on her breath, but until the age of 17, Rosario Dawson was basically a hobo.

There's oddly no shortage of pictures of Rosario Dawson eating things.
It should be noted, though, that when "something better" did come along, it had nothing to do with Rosario getting it herself. Rather, it had everything to do with her sitting on her extraordinarily sculpted ass in front of her (stolen) apartment.
While she was sitting on her front stoop, a photographer named Larry Clark, and a young screenwriter named Harmony Korine, walked up to her and told her that she would be perfect for one of the characters in his new screenplay. Try to keep in mind a few things about this exchange: Dawson had no acting experience whatsoever. Harmony Korine is the cracked-out mess in this Letterman interview. Larry Clark is a 66-year-old photographer whose favorite subjects are teenagers taking drugs and having sex. And guess what that screenplay she was just "perfect for" was about: One hundred odd pages jam packed with teenagers getting high and boning.

See?
Instead of calling neighborhood watch, Dawson showed up to an audition, got the role and the movie ended up being Kids, launching her and Chloe Sevigny's careers at the same time. To any little girls reading this, we really can't stress enough how unlikely the ending to that story is. Forget a movie career, she's lucky she didn't end up in some impossibly creepy inter-generational version of Bang bus.








Didn't Brad Pitt get spotted when he was wearing a giant chicken costume to give away coupons and just happened to take his mask off at the right time?
ReplyJackie Earle Haley himself has said that the "Johnny Depp/Nightmare on Elm Street" thing never happened and has no idea how that rumor got started.
ReplyThe Creepy Intergeneracial version of bang Bus Is Called Teens for Cash. The gay version is called Bait Bus btw. Do not ask how I know.
ReplyThe only reason I know of Rosario Dawson is because shes really awesome in the new Syndicate game.
ReplyYou missed some of the information on John Wayne's start. For a long time during the silent picture era there were a lot of lawsuits stemming from Thomas Edison's control of the patents for movie production. Many producers moved to the Los Angeles area because it was close to Mexico and they could get away from process servers and slip over the border, then return when things simmered down. Wayne's brothers were originally hired as bodyguards for one of the producers. Someone saw Wayne hanging around with his brothers and put him to work.
ReplyAnd yet I prefer Jackie Earl Haley to anything Depp's done since "Nightmare". Go figure.
ReplyFigure! Figure! Figure!
And who ended up playing Freddy in the remake! LOL! To be honest, I liked JEH in "Watchmen."
Harrison Ford, as well. He was installing a door on the set of Star Wars when asked to read a line for Solo's character.
ReplyBut. You probably already learned this from Cracked itself, didn't you?
Or Danny Trejo.
ReplyHow can this list not include Robert Underdunk Terwilliger? He had no interest in show business, but ended up on TV after his brother Cecil failed an audition. He's world famous now.
ReplyBut who is Robert Underdunk Terwilliger?
Yes, life would be a lot duller without Sideshow Bob.
Where's the singer Dev? She was found when she broke up with her ex and she wrote a song that she didn't even release, her friend did and she went crazy popular fast.
Replythis article forgot Alyssa Milano who was unwillingly dragged to an audition for "ANNIE" by her babysitter
ReplyBut you still have to give her credit for succeeding after that. I heard on a TV show that more people audition for a role in Annie than any other play in history. They put out a casting call in Japan and something like 24,000 girls came in.
how does he not include the new nightmare on elm street where JACKIE EARL HALEY starred as freddy in his list of smelly roles???!!
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesshit, ignore that. i thought it was written today
Freddy was Robert Englund wasnt it?
JRDZ1993, but Jackie Earl Haley is the new one. Odd coincidence.
Its not really an accident when they all have stunning, movie-star good looks. it would be interesting to find out where other people got their starts, people who couldn't turn to modeling if their acting careers had not panned out.
ReplyI think you have a couple listings mixed up in your section on Rosario Dawson. You included The Rundown in your list of awful films, and implied that MIB II was a good movie. Definitely got that backwards. While not a great film, The Rundown was still very funny. too bad the same can't be said for MIB II
ReplyWho else remembers Evangeline Lilly from when she was on The Electric Playground on G4, and all she did was smile and show off controllers and game peripherals and stuff? :)
ReplyAm I the only man around who prefers the brunette pre-fame versions of Marilyn Monroe and Pamela Anderson?
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI tend to prefer the pre-fame versions of most female celebs---before Hollywood and Madison Avenue start turning them into plastic figurines they're almost always hotter on natural beauty.
I just think women look better with their natural colors. I mean, once in a while you see someone who goes with a different color and you can look at em' and say "Yeah, they actually look really good.", but a lot of the time they just don't look as good as they did before they dyed their hair.
Lindsey Lohan is a poster-girl for that phenomenon; now of course over time there became a lot of other stuff that made her slowly become less and less attractive, but in my opinion getting rid of her red hair was really the first and largest step to uglification...that should totally be a real word. And actually my word checker isn't even telling me it's wrong, so I'm praying it is already real...
All I remember was Rosario Dawson practically naked. There was other stuff in this article?
It's taken me years to forgive Johnny Depp for his big breakthrough on TV: playing a teenage narc on '21 Jump Street.'
ReplyI love 21 Jump Street. They weren't teenagers. They were young looking adults, which enabled them to infiltrate schools. (That sounded so much nerdier and matter-of-fact than I intended it to.)
But still narcs. Have you seen the ads for the new version. apparently it's supposed to be funny since even the students think the "new kids" are in their 40's.
What a f*****g moron. PETA slaughters healthy cats and dogs because they think human-animal cohabitation is wrong and unnatural. Uses her fake boobs for good? And how is buying fake boobs an accident? Pretty sure she did it for attention and then got BIGGER fake boobs after she had already been in Playboy once. Do some research, moron.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesooohh, is someone upset because no one gives a s**t about them compared to a rich and outrageously hot chick?
Also, I apologize for your questionable bitchy vendetta against PETA, and while I can't really comment on them or their practices cause I seriously don't take the time to give a s**t, I somehow feel like if PETA "slaughters healthy dogs and cats" that it would somehow be bigger news that a lot more people would have a problem with, not to mention that then you choose to ignore the whole other 50% of the good things the author mentions; that whole funding aids research thing.
Then, we have the telltale crying about fake boobs that makes me think you must be a jealous female, because s**t, that's what petty women do. Call other women whores and say they get all sorts of plastic surgery and that's why they're terrible and you're better than them. But I'm assuming that as a fitness instructor, chances are she didn't have the disposable income or ability in that field to go out and get fake boobs before becoming famous. I'm pretty sure she probably just had really nice boobs all along and, who knows, may very well have had something done with them after she was pretty rich.
As usual, as I believe is an internet rule, whenever someone comes out calling someone else an idiot/otherwise, there's a very good chance the person throwing stones is, in fact, the one who's wrong, so I'm going to go with that.
Plus, while I absolutely don't want to sound like I'm suggesting women are the only ones that can be petty and jealous, like I said before you sound like a carbon copy of a female commenter of anything involving a famous woman who's widely thought to be attractive; there's a person who's comment is right along these lines on every topic involving the above..."She's really a terrible person who does terrible things and she's got fake boobs and she's ugly inside and nobody should like her and she got her money from her plastic surgery and I'm angry because other human beings are more successful than me and so you're stupid for thinking anyone is attractive or deserves their success since I'm less successful but that's just cause I don't get plastic surgery cause plastic surgery is bad and for shallow bad people and so there."
Go crawl the f**k back in your hole, no one needs pieces of s**t like you around to tell us all how much more stupid you can pretend everyone is than you.
its true, PETA kills animals rather than letting them live in a shelter where they might be adopted because they feel its more humane that way
Pugiron - It would be simple to turn all shelters into no-kill shelters. All it would take is generous contributions from people like yo... oh, right, you don't give a shit.
Holy crap.
~3:26, Uberpenguin writes a comment and gets 20 dislikes.
~3:31, Uberpenguin writes a comment and gets 12 likes.
What a day that must have been.
The Cracked staff missed one with Johnny Depp in the coincidence department. Jackie Earl Haley was a kid star heart throb playing "Kelly Leak" in the 1970 "Bad News Bears" movies...also while Depp got a roll in the original Nightmare on Elm Street, 26 years later the same Jackie Earl Haley lands the roll of Freddy Kruger in the 2010 reboot of the series.
ReplyI know, right? It's almost as if Smith, who wrote this piece in 2009, would have to be some sort of psychic to make the connection! Thank god you spotted out the mistake!
I really love cracked for the Cage-bashing. I was afraid I was the only one that didn't like his roles
Replyi actually just don't like his face
i know a lot of people bashing on sly for being "expressionless" but sly has expressions... a lot of... while nicolas cage always... and really always looks depressed. even if he tries to smile it kinda looks like some sort of forced "omg i'm so depressed but can't show it" smile. what's wrong with him? seriously