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Choosing the right song for a TV Show, movie or ad campaign is an art form. You have to convey the right message and the right mood all while rocking your audience's face off. However, getting it horribly wrong and picking the worst possible song is a much funnier art form. We're gonna focus on that second one. #9.
GE Sings About Buying Your Soul
Song: "Sixteen Tons" by Merle Travis Used in: Commercial for GE clean coal. Why they thought it would be appropriate: The ad was part of a campaign to make coal sexy again (remember when coal used to be sexy?) and involved underwear models dressed up as coal miners. So we guess they figured using a coal mining song with a slower tempo would give the ad a bit of dignity and distract people from the fact that their commercial is just the coal mining scene from Zoolander played straight. Why it wasn't: Take a closer look at the lyrics of the chorus: You haul Sixteen Tons, whadaya get Another day older and deeper in debt Saint Peter don't call cause I can't go I owe my soul to the company store
This is a classic example of someone breaking the Golden Rule of advertising: never imply that your product or service prevents people from getting into heaven.
Obviously on a rational level, we know that General Electric doesn't make coal miners sign over their souls, but they don't seem overly eager to distance themselves from the practice either. Probably just leaving their options open. Y'know, in case the unions start acting up again. #8.
No Matter What "Turning Japanese" Means, It's Offensive
Song: "Turning Japanese" by The VaporsUsed in: TV coverage of the 2002 World Cup in Japan and South Korea Why they thought it would be appropriate: Well, it's a song with Japan in it. Sure, a song with Japan and South Korea would be better, but nothing rhymes with Korea except diarrhea. And with Japan hosting one of the world's biggest sporting events, it's like we're all turning Japanese! It's the perfect song for showing how open the world is to Japanese culture, right?
Why it wasn't: Well, no. Most people think "Turning Japanese" is about a man masturbating to pictures of his ex-girlfriend. The idea here is that the face you make when you masturbate is all squinty and slit eyed.
The Vapors deny it, which is probably what we'd do if the entire world found out we were racists, perverts, and pathetic all at once. By the time 2002 rolled around, it didn't matter--the song was an Asian-mocking masturbation joke complete with a Japanese protest song called "Turning Hakujin" (Japanese for white person). Plus, even without the racism, the lyrics are incredibly creepy. "I want a doctor to take your picture so I can look at you from inside"? What the fuck? Seems a little edgy for a soccer tournament, right? Although if that qualifies as a good match, we've got the perfect song for the next Jergens campaign. #7.
Ronald Reagan Doesn't Understand Irony
Song: "Born in the U.S.A." by Bruce SpringsteenUsed in: Why they thought it would be appropriate: Reagan was all about patriotism, and what's more patriotic than someone yelling the name of the country they were born in over and over? Plus, it got across the message that Reagan was born in the U.S.A. (where as his opponent, who knows?) and that he supports people who were also born in the U.S.A. (that's you, the voters!)
Why it wasn't: Because every single verse is about how the US Government is one giant son of a bitch. You can see how Reagan could have been confused. The story it tells mimics his own life so closely. "Born down in a dead man's town" (born in Illinois). "The first kick I took is when I hit the ground" (became a movie star). "End up like a dog that's been beat too much" (ended up being the president of the most powerful nation in the world).
Yes, "Born in the USA" is a classic song about how "The Man" keeps you down. Reagan was running for his second term as "The Man." Appropriating the song as his own made him seem like that kid in grade school who'd try to deflect insults by pretending they were compliments ("If by assface you mean someone who's smarter than you, than yeah, I guess I am an assface, thanks"). #6.
The Future's So Bright It Will Melt Your Fucking Eyeballs
Song: "The Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)" by Timbuk3 Used in: An impressively comprehensive list of late 80s and early 90s movies used the song to accompany optimistic scenes or montages: Kuffs, My Best Friend's a Vampire, Tommy Boy, The Allnighter. Why they thought it would be appropriate: It's got probably the most upbeat title ever. The only draw back of the future is that it's so fantastic, it's forcing you to wear shades and look cool.
Why it wasn't: According to the writer, the song is about how the 80s would inevitably end in nuclear holocaust. The future's bright because an atomic bomb's gone off. We don't know why they think wearing sunglasses will help. To be fair to all those Hollywood soundtrack coordinators, it's easy to miss the hidden message. Sure, there are a few hints in the video: they're in the desert, there's what looks like an atomic flash, there's, eh, a donkey with a TV on its back... frankly, it just never seemed like the kind of song we needed to pay attention to.
We don't like the precedent Timbuk3 are setting. Imagine if every cheesy 80s band decided to tell us the real meanings behind their songs. Sure, maybe "Hungry Like A Wolf" was actually about cannibalism in the Donner party and "Rock You Like A Hurricane" was about the devastation caused by Hurricane Gilbert, but we think we're happier not knowing. #5.
Complaining About Crass Commercialism Doesn't Prevent It
Song: "Look What They've Done to my Song, Ma" by Melanie SafkaUsed in: Oatmeal Raisin Crisp Commercial Why they thought it would be appropriate: They wanted you to look at what they'd done to their oatmeal. The lyrics of the song were so close to matching up perfectly to the ad's message, they just needed a tiny adjustment. So they changed the chorus from "look what they've done to my song, ma" to "look what they've done to my oatmeal." Because "oatmeal" totally rhymes with "song, ma."
Why it wasn't: 1: "Oatmeal" doesn't rhyme with "song, ma." 2: The way the lyrics are phrased gives the impression that some shadowy government agency has taken General Mills oatmeal, put raisins in it against their will, and now they're trying to stir up public outrage.
3: They fucked up a song someone wrote about how people keep fucking up their songs. Either they were completely oblivious to irony, or they really had it in for Melanie Safka. People who make oatmeal aren't known for their sadistic sense of humor, but then people who make oatmeal aren't really known for anything, so maybe this is typical behavior for your average oatmeal baron. |
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I'm not so sure Lou Reed wrote that song about heroin. It seems to me it just might be about a nice day.
I'm sure that he was on heroin while he writing it - it's one tripped-out song.
Oh, and BTW, the absolute worst (in my opinion) TV show soundtrack is on Cold Case. The happy ending song is a sure sign someone just got beaten to death. Also worst song used in advertizing was CS&N's 'Teach Your Children' on an underwear commercial. As a member of a generation who really wanted to extend the peace and love idea to my parents, and that song helped,to see it refering to teaching a toddler not to wet his new undies made me really, really hope someone was asleep at the wheel at copyright/licensing time.
OMG, Lou Reed is shushing you at the end of the video, like "if you get it, keep it to yourself". "You reap what you sow" by Tom Jones, I'm sure Jesus is so proud.
hey, all asians dont look alike. thats the korean soccer team, not the j*pan soccer team
Deeper meaning of the song aside, I must admit that I find it's kind of ironic that Lincoln is promoting their cars with songs that describe major system malfunctions that seem to lead to flaming doom.
Good article, but I believe your should have replaced the florests using "Real Wild Child" with the cruise line that used "Lust for Life," but that's just what I think.
I'm suprised that when the Olympics were in Bejing, they didn't do a commercial that used "China Girl." Did you know that song was about heroin?
I REALLY regret clicking on the link in number eight. As if the lego musical version wasn't enough trauma to have to suffer because of that movie.
I found it really annoying that a commercial for the series "Tudors", which is (vaguely) about Henry the 8th, used parts of "Lacrimosa" from Mozart's Requiem, which is an entirely different and much later period than the tudor era. They even had one of the most famous composers from the Tudor era - Thomas Tallis - included in the series as a character.
But then again I have reached appalling levels of nerdyness...
And I don't know if anyone else feels the same way, but it bothers me how many movies, trailers, tv-shows and commercials use the soundtrack from "Requiem for a Dream". It was about junkies, drugs and horribly sad things, and it doesn't have anything to do with neither football nor sneakers.
That's Tennesee Ernie Ford singign "16 Tons" and the lyric is "You Load 16 Tons" and latter in he says "I hauled 16 tons of Number 9 coal and the strawboss said Well a-bless my soul"
Such an expert on music knew all that I am sure, just a brain fart, right?
"Oatmeal barons" was genius.
"Fortunate Son" by Creedence Clear Water Revival was quoted by Lewic B. Puller Jr., a Vietnam veteran who lost both his legs, all his fingers on one hand, and 3 on the other in his book (I don't know how the f**k he wrote it either). It seems kinda appropriate because of his father, the famous Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, who is seen as the greatest Marine of all time (he earned 5 Navy Crosses, an unprecedented amount). Poor guy, imagine how tough it must be to live up to the demand...
The book itself was mostly about his childhood, then going to Officer training to skip enlisted ranks, then getting hurt and becoming an alcoholic and then recovering. In the front of the book, he quoted this
Some folks inherit star spangled eyes,
They send you down to war.
And when you ask them, how much should we give?
They only answer more! More! More!
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no military son.
It ain’t me, it ain’t me; I ain’t no fortunate one.
I'm stupid and I can't figure out whether its ironic (because he was so eager to go to Vietnam to fight Communism) or not (because he knows firsthand what kind of suffering happens, and that hes the opposite of the safe Senator's sons, he's the son of the most famous Marine of all time so they expect him to go into the Corp as well...)
ALWAYS makes me happy when Mr. Jones (Bowie) shows up in an article. Not once, but TWICE? Is it my birthday??
Also wanted to add that in the 80s (via the song Ashes to Ashes) we find out that Major Tom never was an astronaut. He was a junky... and his trip to space was all a hallucination.
But I reckon we're not here to talk about Bowie trivia... :-D
yea, no one knew that one, seriously. You should be a detective.
Someone recently thought "Stuff is Messed Up" by The Offspring was a legitimate track to play during commercials for "Race to Witch Mountain."
The title of the song is the only friendly part, as when the title is said in the chorus, it's actually "Shit is f**ked up" and the whole song talks about how media and commercialism have screwed up society.
Great for a kid's movie.
I remember when the Five Star Denim commercial came on, and all of my friends and I couldn't help but wonder why in the hell they used Fortunate Son. We loved the song but the message didn't fit the commercial at all.
I heard "Holiday in Cambodia" was once used for a Nike ad. There's really no logic behind using that song to sell shoes unless they just really, really wanted to shit on their starving 4 year old Cambodian workforce even more.
This happens all the fucking time. Some more for you:
Revolution (The Beatles): Used by Nike
This Is the Day (The The): Used by M&Ms
No Rain (Blind Melon): Used by Pepsi
Blister In the Sun (Violent Femmes): Used by Wendy's (Though to Wendy's credit, the actors did appear rather strung out on the hamburgers they were eating)
When I saw the oatmeal entry, I thought that should be #1, but then I saw what was there and thought, naw maybe #2 instead. That is really creepy about BBC!
Funny about the song 'Look What They Done to My Song, Ma.' It spawned a forgettable, short-lived variety show, where they--you guessed it--had sketches parodying famous songs.
"[Iggy Pop] invented stage diving"
I thought Peter Gabriel did Stage Diving when he was in Genesis before Iggy Pop did his. Can anyone back me up on this?
You are correct. However, in my opinion, Igs did it better...
Theres a really great one you guys missed. Volkswagon used a song by Pyschic TV in one of their ads. Of course they only played the chorus; edited so that it played over and over again. "Are you free, are you really free- are you really really, really free" Its a good thing that they didn't play any more of the song. You see the song is titled Roman P. and is about Roman Polanski. You remember him right, the director who cannot step foot back into America without facing statitory rape charges?!?!? Who's wife Sharon Tate was murdered by the Manson Bunch!!! The full lyrics are
Roman you are, Roman you be
Roman in your history
Roman in your victory
Roman in your destiny
[Chorus:]
Are you free, are you really free?
Are you really, really, really, really, really free?
Is it you or is it me?
Or is it simply history?
Are you free, are you really free?
Are you really, really, really, really, really free?
Is it you or is it me?
Or is it simply jealousy?
Sharon walks alone as your wife