The 10 Commandments of Public Transportation
Turns out Cracked writers don't spend all of their time huddled in a dungeon Googling dick joke fodder. In fact, some of them have secondary talents, far less important to the world than their contributions to our humble Dick-joke-pedia, but worthy of recognition nonetheless. When Dustin Glick isn't bringing you the The 25 Worst Rapper Names of All Time he's self-publishing comics over at Dustinland.com. In his second Saturday Guest column, Dustin takes you through 10 things you must not do when riding the subway or any other form of public transportation.
For many more of Dustin's comics head over to Dustinland.com.
what about thou shalt not smoke pcp/crack/etc then ride the train/bus?
Replyor thou shalt not engade others in religous affaires?
About the bonus one, before I had my kids I used to get annoyed with crying babies and their parents
Replyinability to keep them quiet but after having one I can say that babies really dont understand what "be quiet" or "sssshhhh" means, they are after all babies.
It seems having a baby has raised your IQ to the double-digit level. Good job. You must still realize that this is still excruciating, no?
#9, 10, and the bonus one seem a little unfair. Bags make sense, but where do you suggest the musician stow her large instrument? Furthermore, the old lady is having difficulties. Maybe she just can't figure out how the newfangled contraption works. And surely, you can forgive the parents of their screaming progeny if they are actively trying to quiet and/or correct their behavior, right?
ReplyAfter having every other unrelatable rant on this topic on Cracked, finally something that actually applies to us city folks.
ReplyOh, and the headphone people? Why are those little white earbuds that came with iPods always the worst offenders? Are they so crappy you need to turn the volume all the way up to hear them, or are people who think we're impressed they have an iPod just the only ones douchey enough to do this?
i really hate the 1 4 5 and 9
ReplyAll of them happens to me pretty much everytime I go on the London underground
ReplySame here... Just came back from England. My god I never thought I'd miss taking the train.
I think they need to add one:
ReplyWhen sitting on the bus, don't sit on the outside seat so no one can sit next to you (this goes double for when it's crowded.)
Seriously, screw you to the guys/gals who can't be bothered to move your asses over when you see someone (especially someone elderly) get on the bus.
As much as I hate when people break the 4th and 5th, the one I hate the most is when they break the 3rd commandment.
ReplySeriously, if you're gonna get off the subway/bus last, why you have to be near to the door blocking the way to everybody else? And it's even worse on buses with only 1 door.
And Jesus spake: "There ith nay spoon".
Replyhaha, #10 happened to me once.. when I was buying bus tickets. First time I forgot I had to punch in the p/w for my card so I was too slow, failed the second time (forgot why), got it on 3rd try :p
ReplyI always take up 2 seats, feet up, blasting punk music and only change my seating style if a hot girl needs a seat and that's because I might get a phone number. LOL
Reply[FOREVER ALONE]
thou shalt stay the f**k away from my boobs, or i will murder thou.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesShalt murder thou.
A small price to pay.
shall murder thee
With correct grammar, it's ''Thou shalt stay the f**k away from my boobs, or I shalt murder thee''
Fuckin' A. Times ten. Plus one.
Replythou shalt keep thy feet off the seat, regardless of the weather or how new thy shoes are.
ReplyA lot of New Yorkers seem to have mastered the diagonal foot-prop where the sole of the shoe is not on the seat. They don't bother me much, especially since they only do it when the train is empty.
Thou shalt not attempt frotteurism.
Replythou shalt not take middle seat when others are availible*
ReplyThough shall not give me the stink eye to give up my seat.
Reply Hide All See All 4 RepliesI was here first get over it. Like 80% of the time I'll give it up sometimes I'm just tired or I walked so much in the past week that I feel as if my blisters pops and are bleeding into my shoes. Twice I've had pregnant bitches pop off that I wasn't giving up my seat. There are plenty of other people here that can give up their seat just as well. Plus its not my fault your pregnant so piss off.
I really hope one day a pregnant woman breaks water right on top of you.Thats what you deserve ,you classless bastard.
Maybe you should invest in a car then because last time I checked you only pay for one seat not the entire bus or train
I've never had anyone call me out, but oh how I hate the stink eye. Listen b***h, you decided to get knocked up, and your condition is temporary. I did NOT decide to become disabled, and I have this lot for life, so keep your eyes in your head and use a condom next time.
Just because your grotesque belly is more apparent than my neck injury doesn't mean you're more deserving. There is no way you could possibly know who isn't disabled by looking at them.
at Bawoman - get over yourself. When you know the feeling of bleeding blisters in your shoes, then you can run your mouth. Other people who aren't bleeding should be targeted first.
at deeds812 Where did he say he was taking up more than one seat?
3 and 5 are the worst, 1 gets kinda annoying. And a sort of extension of 2 where a group of people together will spread out and each take up 1 2-seat block, not covering both seats, but people just really don't want to sit next to someone for some reason.
ReplyThe bonus commandment was the most important one in my opinion, it pisses me off so badly when small children do that
ReplyThe funny thing is that most of those are actual rules at DC Metro stations.
Reply