The Disturbing Origins of 5 Common Nursery Rhymes
Let's face it: everything is a lot more horrifying than you thought when you were a kid. Pick even the most childlike, innocent thing you can think of, and the odds are that there's a deeply disturbing story behind it.
For instance, nursery rhymes. We grew up memorizing these seemingly nonsense lines of verse from Mother Goose, which seem to exist for no other reason than to keep toddlers entertained. There couldn't possibly be some kind of weird, twisted history to them, could there?
Well, guess what ...
#5.
Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice, three blind mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a thing in your life,
As three blind mice?
We Thought it Meant...
A trio of unfortunate rodents on a mission to find out where the hell they are, eventually run into an old woman who just happens to be skilled in chopping small defenseless animals to pieces. So this one's actually already kind of disturbing on its own.
But Some Experts Say...
The farmer's wife in the poem is an allusion to the 16th Century Queen "Bloody" Mary I, and her enthusiasm for everything involving torture, death, and basically finding new ways to go down in textbooks as history's biggest bitch. The three mice supposedly represent three noblemen who got together and said, "Gee guys, maybe this Mary lady isn't all there." and were consequently prosecuted for conspiring against the queen.
Not afraid to cut a motherfucker.
If you're cringing at the thought of what the cutting off of their three "tails" symbolizes, don't worry. She didn't cut off their dongs. No, she proved she had some form of human empathy, and simply burning those suckers at the stake instead.
#4.
Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away
We Thought it Meant...
Some playground creep who seemed to lose his balls at the sight of young men.
But Some Experts Say...
The whole thing refers to a torrid gay sex scandal involving King Charles I.
Georgie Porgie is thought to be a caricature of George Villiers, the 1st Duke of Buckingham and hardcore pretty boy. He was rumored to be a lover to Anne of Austria, the Queen Consort of France who was notorious for just about everything except for being pretty. Or really looking like a woman at all.
Possibly a dude.
So after having a fling with the, er, somewhat masculine Anne, it was a pretty smooth transition for Villiers to switch teams. Not one to do anything half way, the man Villiers chose to woo just happened to be King Charles I. Through the king, Villiers was able to become very powerful and influential, and was even knighted as a--and we're not making this up--Gentleman of the Bedchamber, a title Georgie's parents were surely proud of.
Eventually, Parliament got sick of the bastard and cut off the relationship. As a man of love, Villiers fought for his darling Charles valiantly by pretty much screaming, "Well...okay!" Thus the reference "When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away."
As for what exact innuendo "Pudding and pie" represents, we'll let you use your imagination.
#3.
Goosey Goosey Gander
Goosey Goosey Gander, whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs and in my Lady's chamber.
There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers,
So I took him by his left leg and threw him down the stairs.
We Thought it Meant...
The town hobo breaking in to various women's rooms and throwing their partners down stairs for being religiously inconsistent.
But Some Experts Say...
Back in 16th century Europe, most people were busy either fighting off plagues or killing off Catholics. Priests especially were in high demand as there was a reward for the Protestant who was able to find and execute one.
The method of execution was often tying him by the legs and throwing him down a flight of stairs (thus the last line in the rhyme). Unless he would begin to say his prayers in English rather than Latin, he would bounce down the steps faster than your childhood Slinky. If he did give in, he was spared by--oh wait, no. They threw him down the stairs regardless.
So that's all well and good, but what the hell does the phrase "Goosey Goosey Gander" have to do with anything?
Well, it's thought that "Goosey" is referencing an old slang term "goose" which was a nice but roundabout way of saying "voluptuous lady of the night" which in turn is a euphemism for "goddamn dirty hooker." In fact, the term "goose bumps" was originally slang for the red bumps caused by venereal diseases.
The more you know, kids!
I did expect you to mention Ring Around the Rosy. Black Death, ja? But maybe that's too well known.
ReplyAnd I thought I heard that the "silver bells" and "cockleshells" in the rhyme were euphamisms for the skulls of the victims she had crucified in the castle's backyard.
I thought the Duke of Buckingham was supposed to be a lover of Charles I's father James I (who was the one who appointed Buckingham to his bedchamber in 1615, AND appointed him High Lord Admiral, AND knighted him as Duke of Buckingham, despite his family being minor Lancashire gentry. Not Charles).
ReplyUnless Villiers had his finger in more than one puddi- okay, I'm gonna leave it there.
The guillotine may have been nicknamed "the maiden", but Mistress Mary Quite Contrary was also notorious for her use of the IRON maiden.
Reply"No, she proved she had some form of human empathy, and simply burning those suckers at the stake instead."
ReplyWell, that's a relief.
Oh, I thought it was going to be London Bridge and uh... that one having to do with the black death (don't know why I can't remember it).
ReplyRing around a' rosey
Pocket full of posey
Ashes, ashes
We all fall down.
First two lines were counter-measures taken by the folk who hauled off the bodies, while the end half is simply about death. Think about that when the kids all link hand and spin until they "all fall down."
Actually you are mostly right Therese. Ring around a' rosey referred to the first signs of the plague. A red ring sore. Pocket full of posey was supposed to help protect people from getting the plague and especially those collecting the bodies and trying to treat the sick (there were some who did). Ashes, ashes is from the fires used as they eventually had so many bodies they couldn't bury them all, so they burned them. Also, fires were burned in a effort to protect ones self from it as well. The pope of the time (I forget his name) in Rome, kept fires burning all around him at all times to help protect himself. The final line is referring to everyone simply dying.
The last one... for some reason it freaks me out a bit. what I've gathered from this is if you want to get into nursery rhymes (you know you want too), all you have to find a new means of decapitation in a new and efficient way. To whomever I just gave an idea too, please get arrested quickly. cheers!
ReplyLove it.
Replyno ring around the rosie... lame
ReplyPerhaps that's too well known for it to make the list?
"ring around the rosie" apparently referred to the Bubonic plague. "Ring around the rosie" was one of the symptoms red circular marks on the body. "A pocket full of posies" people carried flowers in their pockets, thinking the pleasant smell would help protect them from the illness. "Ashes, ashes" burning of the dead bodies. "We all fall down" Pretty self-explanatory, don't you think?
Replyalso the original line was "we all fall dead" ....happy times!!!
good list
ReplyActually, Anne of Austria was a famous beauty at the time.
ReplyIn "Sing a Song of Sixpence", the line "Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie" clearly refers to pot brownies!
Replysing a song of sixpence was actualy a code for pirates i think i read it on this other website a while ago
Crap somebody already said that :[
ReplyThe "Maiden" part, I think would make more sense of an Iron Maiden... A torture device that's a giant human shaped metal box with spikes on the inside, so when you close it, you get stabbed to death. I can picture rows of those, rather than rows of Guillotines
ReplyExcept the iron maiden never actually existed as a torture device. It was made up by the Napoleonics as a decoration.
Sorry, "many of these" in the article. For some reason I couldn't edit my first comment below.
ReplyYou need citations for MOST of this. There are lots and lots of theories as to where these, and other nursery rhymes come from, but 99% is latent speculation.
ReplyGuillotine didn't really come out till a while later in history (maybe a bit before the French Revolution) and Bloody Mary was queen a lot earlier han that. So if it is refering to a torture device, than it was probaly the Iron Maiden. Which was basicly a big iron coffin shaped like a lady with spikes covering every inside surface. Very painful since the maiden could be closed on you. By the time they(the torturers) took you out, you would look like human swiss cheese.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesBut the iron maiden - was never a device of torture. It originated as a hoax and continued to be reproduced as a curiosity in the 19th century.
Actually, there was a kind of guillotine around in England; it was called the Halifax Gibbet and had a curved blade rather than a straight diagonal blade. This sometimes resulted in the head flying up into the air after being chopped off, probably to land in someone's lap. XD
Oh thanks Mmeb. Didn't know that. But still, Maiden seems a farfetched nickname for the guillotine. Meh, don't really know and besides wouldn't a row of guillotines be friggin expensive, even for an insane, sadistic Queen?
Queen "Bloody" Mary was popular enough to frequent a number of nursery rhymes, which is pretty impressive all these centuries later. How many nursery rhymes do you appear in? Yeah, that's what we thought. You need to start doing something with your life.
Reply*Sigh* If I had a nickel for every time somebody asked me that...I'd have 2 nickels. But you know, 2 nickels is 2 nickels all the same...
That's an ape, not a monkey.
Reply Hide All See All 4 Repliesthat's an orangutang, not a monkey
An orangutan is part of the great ape family. Still not a monkey though.
And still all quite pedantic
though the fact that it's flipping double birds negates anything else.
personaly, i would have called "the maiden" captain choppy
Reply