The Gruesome Origins of 5 Popular Fairy Tales

We know what's you're thinking. "What the hell is Cracked writing articles about fairy tales for? That's kids stuff! Give us more articles about the Top 10 Transformers Characters, or Worst Dressed Thundercat!" And that's good, because that means our Spyware technology is getting better than ever.

The thing about fairy tales, though, is that they weren't always for kids. Back when these stories were first told around campfires and in taverns in some medieval village there were very few kids present. These were racy, violent parables to distract peasants after a hard day's dirt farming, and some of them made Hostel look like, well, kid's stuff.

#5.

Little Red Riding Hood: Inter-Species Sex Play, Cannibalism

The Version You Know
Mention the words "fairy tale" to someone--if they don't think of gingerbread houses, or possibly a certain bar they know, they think of this story. Little Red on her way to grandmother's house meets the Big Bad Wolf and stupidly tells him where she's going. So he gets there first, eats Grandma, puts on her dress and waits for Red.

She gets there, they do the back-and-forth about what big teeth he has, and he eats her. Then, a passing woodsman comes and cuts Red and Grandma out of the wolf, saving the day.

What Got Changed
Most modern versions of fairy tales come from two sources: The Grimm Brothers from Germany, and Frenchman Charles Perrault, the collector of the "Mother Goose" tales. The big change they made to this one was the ending. That woodsman showing up seemed a little like a third act re-write of a movie due to bad test screenings, didn't it? Where the hell did the woodsman come from?

Well, the woodsman was a later addition to the tale. In the early versions of the story, Red and her Grandmother are dead. The. Goddamn. End. Also, in most versions the woodsman cuts the pair out of the wolf's belly, where they're mostly none the worse for wear despite being eaten, which implies to us the wolf in that story world eats like some sort of python, by unhinging its jaw and swallowing prey whole. Suspension of disbelief only goes so far.

Much earlier versions also liked to spice up the sexuality angle of the story, by having Red outwit the wolf by performing a striptease for him while he's lying in bed dressed as her Grandmother, and then running away while he's "distracted" (Note to any young girls out there: if you are ever abducted and menaced by someone, DO NOT DO THIS).

Wait, it gets worse. This is the most horrifying bit that got filtered out before the tale reached both the Grimm's and Perrault (and in fact, only made it into a few written texts). In this version, the Wolf dissects Grandmother, then invites Red in for a meal of her flesh, presumably with a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti. Then he eats her, too.

Story's over! Sweet dreams, little Sally!

168 Comments

KilltheBrain

also, if you really like the twisted gruesome versions better, ya'll should check out Niel Gaimon's version of snow white, which literally gave me nightmares, and i'm fucking 21

Posted on 4/24/2008 3:31:30 AM

i dunno i think rumplestiltskin was pretty fucked up to begin with, i mean, the dad practically sells his daughter into slavery and even though the king chains the girl in a room a promises to kill her if she doesn't make good on her FATHER'S lie, she still marries him? that's a fucked up case of Stockholm's right there

Posted on 4/24/2008 3:26:23 AM

pretentious

And the pumpkin coach from Perrault's version of Cinderella was modelled after King Louis' own pumpkin-shaped carriage. ;) God, I know far too much about fairy tales.

Posted on 4/21/2008 8:27:07 PM

Oh, and the Sleeping Beauty coma sex theme is carried on by Anne Rice in her "Beauty" series of books. Quite a good read, if you ask me...which you didn't. But still. Word porn. Mmm.

Posted on 4/21/2008 8:24:44 PM

They overlooked a bit about Lil' Red, in Perrault's version, the story was meant as a warning to marriage-aged girls in the French Court to avoid sexual congress before being married. Perrault's version ends with "Little girls this seems to say/Never stop along the way/Never trust a stranger-friend,/No one knows how it will end,/As you're pretty, so be wise,/Wolves may lurk in every guise/.../Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth."

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Posted on 3/18/2008 12:40:08 PM

I loved Grimms Fairytales (original old book I used to read at my grans) as a kid, didn't know any different. Did you know that the original 'Little Mermaid' didn't live happily ever after at all - she died, turning into the foam on the waves of the sea, because she didn't have the strength to kill the prince with a dagger (from the witch) in order to return home as a mermaid. Prince actually married someone else, so she lost, basically!

Posted on 3/18/2008 3:25:34 AM

Remembrancer

Re: Cinderella: Also in the Grimm version the birds (doves actually) blow the whistle on the step sisters by crying: "Gooroo Gooroo there is blood in the shoe!" (does that rhyme in English? In German it does).

Posted on 3/16/2008 12:03:08 PM

unknown

Who's that babe wearing red riding hood costume ??

Posted on 3/15/2008 6:53:20 PM

EllisGL

I'm of relation to the Grimm Brothers, and I can say I'm a sick thinking SOB at times. =) I just wish the stories where not calmed down. They were away to teach children... Through absolute gruesome fear!

Posted on 3/13/2008 8:46:05 PM

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The Gruesome Origins of 5 Popular Fairy Tales

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