The Disturbing Origins of 5 Common Nursery Rhymes
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Let's face it: everything is a lot more horrifying than you thought when you were a kid. Pick even the most childlike, innocent thing you can think of, and the odds are that there's a deeply disturbing story behind it. For instance, nursery rhymes. We grew up memorizing these seemingly nonsense lines of verse from Mother Goose, which seem to exist for no other reason than to keep toddlers entertained. There couldn't possibly be some kind of weird, twisted history to them, could there? Well, guess what ... #5.
Three Blind Mice
Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they run, see how they run, They all ran after the farmer's wife, Who cut off their tails with a carving knife, Did you ever see such a thing in your life, As three blind mice? We Thought it Meant... A trio of unfortunate rodents on a mission to find out where the hell they are, eventually run into an old woman who just happens to be skilled in chopping small defenseless animals to pieces. So this one's actually already kind of disturbing on its own.
But Some Experts Say... The farmer's wife in the poem is an allusion to the 16th Century Queen "Bloody" Mary I, and her enthusiasm for everything involving torture, death, and basically finding new ways to go down in textbooks as history's biggest bitch. The three mice supposedly represent three noblemen who got together and said, "Gee guys, maybe this Mary lady isn't all there." and were consequently prosecuted for conspiring against the queen.
If you're cringing at the thought of what the cutting off of their three "tails" symbolizes, don't worry. She didn't cut off their dongs. No, she proved she had some form of human empathy, and simply burning those suckers at the stake instead. #4.
Georgie Porgie
Georgie Porgie pudding and pie Kissed the girls and made them cry When the boys came out to play Georgie Porgie ran away We Thought it Meant... Some playground creep who seemed to lose his balls at the sight of young men. But Some Experts Say... The whole thing refers to a torrid gay sex scandal involving King Charles I. Georgie Porgie is thought to be a caricature of George Villiers, the 1st Duke of Buckingham and hardcore pretty boy. He was rumored to be a lover to Anne of Austria, the Queen Consort of France who was notorious for just about everything except for being pretty. Or really looking like a woman at all.
So after having a fling with the, er, somewhat masculine Anne, it was a pretty smooth transition for Villiers to switch teams. Not one to do anything half way, the man Villiers chose to woo just happened to be King Charles I. Through the king, Villiers was able to become very powerful and influential, and was even knighted as a--and we're not making this up--Gentleman of the Bedchamber, a title Georgie's parents were surely proud of.
Eventually, Parliament got sick of the bastard and cut off the relationship. As a man of love, Villiers fought for his darling Charles valiantly by pretty much screaming, "Well...okay!" Thus the reference "When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away." As for what exact innuendo "Pudding and pie" represents, we'll let you use your imagination. #3.
Goosey Goosey Gander
Goosey Goosey Gander, whither shall I wander? Upstairs and downstairs and in my Lady's chamber. There I met an old man who wouldn't say his prayers, So I took him by his left leg and threw him down the stairs. We Thought it Meant... The town hobo breaking in to various women's rooms and throwing their partners down stairs for being religiously inconsistent. But Some Experts Say... Back in 16th century Europe, most people were busy either fighting off plagues or killing off Catholics. Priests especially were in high demand as there was a reward for the Protestant who was able to find and execute one.
The method of execution was often tying him by the legs and throwing him down a flight of stairs (thus the last line in the rhyme). Unless he would begin to say his prayers in English rather than Latin, he would bounce down the steps faster than your childhood Slinky. If he did give in, he was spared by--oh wait, no. They threw him down the stairs regardless. So that's all well and good, but what the hell does the phrase "Goosey Goosey Gander" have to do with anything? Well, it's thought that "Goosey" is referencing an old slang term "goose" which was a nice but roundabout way of saying "voluptuous lady of the night" which in turn is a euphemism for "goddamn dirty hooker." In fact, the term "goose bumps" was originally slang for the red bumps caused by venereal diseases.
The more you know, kids! |
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What about "Ring around the rosey, pockets full of posies, ashes, ashes, we all fall down."
If you didn't know it was about the Plague. Oh and once you learned that stuff that happened during the Plague the lyrics get a lot clearer. "Ring around the rosey" the red rings that appear in your pits, on your wrists and... in your uh... rosey. "Pockets full of posies" means the flowers (read: posies) that they brought to the stricken. "Ashes, ashes" means how they burnt the houses of the stricken to ash to (futilely) eliminate any traces of the disease. And as for the "all fall down" well you know what that is. (If you don't congratulations, you're functionally retarded! Now do yourself a favor and don't put a wet fork in an electrical outlet.) Suddenly that song seems a lot less child-appropriate now for some strange reason.
I'm always wary of articles giving the meanings of nursery rhymes, as a lot of those meanings are based on research that only goes back as far as shonky mid-1800s 'research' (otherwise known as 'making up stuff that sounds interesting' or '18th century retcon'). That's the source of the dodgy 'ring a ring of roses' association with the plague.
However, that said, if the 'Pop Goes the Weasel' origin is correct, the version I grew up with makes it more interesting. We sang "all around the carpenter's bench, the monkey chased the weasel". Thinking laterally, one could argue that 'carpenter's bench' would translate to 'Jesus' altar' - furthering the "coat for church on Sunday" theory.
QueenE, I must contest!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillotine
I always thought that "Mary Mary quite contrary" was about Mary Queen of Scots, not Bloody Mary. Can't remember what the silver bells and cockleshells were meant to be, but the pretty maids all in a row were supposed to be her and her closest female companions, all called Mary. I might be wrong, but if it is about Bloody Mary, pretty maids all in a row can;t mean guilottines-they were invented in France, used extensively during their revolution, while Mary was more into burning people at the stake.
DEFINITELY King James I. Our history book says something about Jame's fondness of george... and george's dick.
Excellent article. Fun, mostly accurate, except i'd like to know the sources on "Georgie Porgie", as the dates, scandal, and regime indicate that George Villiers was the lover of King JAMES I. In fact, I need to go find my history book....
I'm surprised izzie Borden didn't make it there. But well, I don't know, I'm not an English speaker and my nursery rimes are about butterflies and elephants
my little sis keeps singing "yankee doodle" even though i told herit was made by a british man to make fun of americans
Er... about the Goosey Goosey Gander part, the author wrote :"most people were either fighting plagues or killing off Catholics."
It was more like the other way around actually. There may have been acts of persecution by the Protestants against the Catholics (especially in Great Britain) but in most of Europe, it was the Protestants who were being murdered by packs of twelve. Hence the whole "fleeing to the New World" thing.
Georgie Porgy may have been George Villiers Duke of Buckingham but the account here leaves out some important facts. He was the boy friend of Charles I's father, James I, who signed his letters "Your dear dad and gossip" and called him "Steenie". He encouraged a close friendship between Steenie his son Charles, a short, stuttering, lame boy and when he died Steenie moved to the top of the tree and was made Lord High Admiral. Charles had no interest in his wife, Henrietta Maria as long as Steenie was alive and it was not Parliament who put an end to the association but a lone assassin in Portsmouth. After he was killed the king and Queen began to breed and lived happily ever after until the Civil War when she returned to France and Charles was executed.
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.
hehehe these are great but this one trumps them all: http://tinyurl.com/6el7ux
Just to throw in my incredibly valid and totally reliable opinion on the great Ring a ring of roses debate... It really does seem to be about the bubonic (and pneumatic - hence the sneezing) plague. Might not be, granted, but I think there are too many things that can be linked to the disease to be a coincidence. Of course, it could be a load of dingoes' kidneys.
That portrait of Anne of Austria is just a little bit creepy.
Ha. Sucks to all those who were saying trying to be all definitive about the Ring Around the Roses a few days ago. I guess that didn't work.
Wasn't the origin of Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Mo some delightful too? Something to do with substituting the word 'tiger' with 'n****r' and almost every verb with a more violent one?
what makes snopes the class A fact checker dictionary supreme?? You do realize that all the articles are written by one person who changes her middle name to suit the subject....right.....so thats the fact machine
conman should check out one of the previous articles about obnoxious commentors.
yan_hippy should read ahead before commenting...
To whitehound:
I think the ring a roses rhyme was from the black death era.
Apparantly the poor simple saps thought that the scent from keeping a bunch of flowers (posies) in your top pocket kept the plague at bay.
I wonder if the same would work for morning after wind.
The British version of the "ring around" rhyme which I know goes:
Ring-a-ring-a-roses
A pocket full of posies
Atishoo
Atishoo
We all fall down
which suggests that it refers to a disease which causes the sufferer to sneeze.
I love it this s**t.
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i always thought "maids in a row" referred to bloody mary taking in so many girls from the area and how they never came back... a long line in and another line out to the "garden"