Smash Bros Theory: 6 Absurd Classes Taught at Actual Colleges
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Universities everywhere base their entire business model on forcing you to take half a dozen completely useless classes for each one that will actually help you get smarter and find a job. As a result, post-secondary education can be a mine field of dubious courses peddling the equivalent of academic snake oil, and some of them get downright ridiculous: #6.
Super Smash Brothers Melee Theory and Practice
Offered At: We admit we've never heard of this college, but at first glance it seemed like a legit school of higher learning. We found out that it's actually a 175 year-old private and selective school, and one that is fairly well-regarded even though their mascot is a Yeoman. What would the 19th Century founders say if they could see their own classrooms used to teach a course on Super Smash Brothers Melee? Well they'd probably say something about how the magical box appears to be possessed by warring devils, at which point they would declare the whole operation to be the work of witchcraft and flee the room. But after we calmed them down they'd probably say something about how getting course credit for playing Smash Brothers is a bunch of bullshit.
Most pseudo-classes like this come with a course description that tries to play up the supposed academic value. Here they've tried to tell us the course covers "controversial issues concerning video games." However the extra $3 course fee for wear and tear on the controller pretty much gives away the real purpose. The only controversy being discussed in that class is whether to tell your parents that this is how you are blowing your college fund that they put off kidney surgery for.
Amazingly this course has 2.5 hours of class time a week, which is probably about 40 hours less than most of the students would normally play video games. Half of the course time is dedicated to time outside regular class time to practice and refine skills, time that may otherwise be wasted learning things that might actually lead to employment or sex. #5.
Psychology of Exceptional Human Experiences
Offered At: This school is located in Coventry, England and the course shows that Queen or no Queen, England can do stupid just as well as America can. At first the course sounds pretty good. You've got a very normal-sounding title, and the description says students are required to have a Bachelor's degree and will be drawing from the fields of psychology and religion and doing quantitative analysis. But, much like a bad strip joint, once your eyes adjust to the light you realize that not everything is as it seems. This is in fact a class on psychic and paranormal experiences. If there was any doubt as to what you would have to look forward to, this interview makes it clear that this course is not the resume builder you thought it was. It turns out the instructor will be teaching students in the course to "chase poltergeists, talk to the dead and understand telepathy." It does not make it clear whether he will also teach them how to catch Leprechauns or battle dragons, but we think he should because those would be way more useful skills. Instead of learning anything legit you're going to spend your time hanging out in haunted houses with tape recorders and cameras, trying to find your last shred of self respect.
We have a suspicion that this course was started by somebody who saw the opening scenes in Ghostbusters and immediately told their guidance counselor they wanted to go to whichever college had the best ghost-hunting department, like in the movie. When the counselor told them that in fact no real college had a ghost-hunting department because that would be ridiculous, they decided to spend the next 20 years trying to right that wrong.
#4.
Stupidity
Offered At: Occidental College.Occidental College is a liberal arts college in LA. The Princeton Review has it on its list of The Best 361 Colleges, otherwise known as The List of All the Colleges in the U.S. The course is supposedly an examination of stupidity "... ranging from the presidency to Beevis (sic) and Butthead (sic)." They don't name the president but we're going to guess it's not Lincoln. Also, right away we're doubting the quality of a course that wants to teach you about stupidity but manages to spell Beavis and Butt-Head wrong. These guys may know stupidity, but apparently they don't know Google.
The description slaps together a bunch of absurd academic jargon to try to legitimize the whole operation, with phrases like "Stupidity is neither ignorance nor organicity, but rather, a corollary of knowing..." or our other favorite, "Stupidity is always the name of the Other, and it is the sign of the feminine." Is there some kind of college course random word generator they use for these things? Also, what's the supposed benefit here? We don't think analyzing stupidity is going to make you feel any better about it, any more than telling us exactly what's in dog poop will let us better cope with stepping in it. Even worse, you'd be paying someone thousands of dollars to point out things that are stupid, when you could have just came to this site and let us do it for the price of free. |
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Jesus Christ calm yourself sure its a good college but f**k if u play video games for any class it can be used to discredit it slightly so don't get so bitchy.
Ok, you guys have got it all wrong about Oberlin. Oberlin IS a "legit school of higher learning." It is one of the best colleges in the country and it has produced some outstanding alums. Using the Super Smash Brothers class as a mark against Oberlin shows ignorance on your part.
It is NOT a full class. It is an ExCo class, part of the experimental college. Classes in the experimental college can be about pretty much anything (swing dance, gymnastics, arts and crafts, capoeira, tv shows, ANYTHING) and they can be taught by anyone (students, professors, Oberlin city residents, etc.). The classes generally meet once a week. ExCos are almost always worth a maximum of ONE credit for the students who take them. There are only two exceptions to the one credit rule: 1) some courses are more demanding and rigorous and can be worth up to 2 credits...classes about video games do not fall into this category; and 2) when students teach the course, the teaching students can earn more than one credit, since they have to come up with a syllabus, grade assignments (legitimate assignments are required), write lesson plans - not to mention supervise a weekly class. Not only are ExCos worth a lot less than normal classes, students can only earn a maximum of 5 ExCo credits towards their 112 credit degree requirement.
As you can probably tell, I am an Oberlin grad, and I highly valued my ExCo classes (and no, I did not take the Super Smash Brothers class). Oberlin is all about providing an education, and not just an academic one. ExCos are only one of the ways Oberlin has found to teach us in a non-traditional way. But believe me, alongside the fun of ExCos, Oberlin challenges its students in all the traditional academic ways. Courses in every department are rigorous (getting an A is extremely difficult) and the faculty is world-class.
I understand that I'm getting defensive about my alma mater, but it is insulting that you guys are picking out a fun detail of a great school in order to discredit it. It's also disappointing that a website that claims to research its articles in order to tell the truth, got this one so incorrect. I enjoy the cracked articles, but I will never be able to read one again without wondering if this is not just another website full of people who don't know what they're talking about.
All righty; I was an English major, so I thought some of my classes were kinda off-beat. I was allowed to take an independent study 1-credit-hour honors course on "The Sandman" comic series by Neil Gaiman. The professor and I discussed whether or not studying it in an "academic" context stripped it of its "alternative"/counter-culture/"cool" status. Also, how could a work with so many academic and cultural/mythological/religious references truly be considered so hip, cool, cutting-edge, and modern? I also raised an eyebrow at my full 3-hour class of Science Fiction (oddly enough, taught by the same professor), but it was a *really* good class - when I saw it on the syllabus, I jumped at the chance to take it. We read works from Heinlein, Gibson, Teppler, Bear, Le Guin, Vinge, and others. By the way, I attended your run-of-the-mill state school.
As far as the authors of this article never having heard of Oberlin before, that surprises the crap out of me. Oberlin has traditionally been a well-respected liberal arts college. Again, maybe that's because I was an English major...
I'm a little surprised they offer a full class on a single Super Mario Brothers title. To be honest, I could see a psychology (or even a business management) class offering a course outlining a human dynamics course that examines how people interact when playing such console games, either in a 1x1 setting face-to-face, separated but in the same room, or in online play, and also how people related to each other when playing in teams. But an entire semester on a single title? I'd just have a hard time coming up with lesson plans for the entire semester.
As far as the Stupidity class at Occidental College goes, were I to hazard a guess of the point of analyzing it, I think the point is not analyzing *what* is considered "stupid," but *why* people judge things as stupid. Why do we feel the need to place such labels on people, things, comments, reactions, et cetera, and what purpose do those labels and judgments serve in a social context?
I agree that it can be hard to take a course on Stupidity seriously when the description fails to spell the name of two characters it cites as examples correctly (trust me, you have no idea how hard it was for me to look past that, given I'm an editor). But there may be significantly more to this course than initially meets the eye.
Occidental guy, you majored in baloney.
dude i go to sf state... they're surprisingly obsessed with sex, considering their closer-to-middle political views and such a big city, etc. (this coming from a guy who went to Humboldt State for a semester... so yeah, at that point, f*****g Mao is closer-to-middle politically)
Occidental can blow me.
I went to Occidental, I majored in Critical Theory and Social Justice, and I took Stupidity. I found it to be invaluable. It taught me how to think, and think crtically. The fact that the course description has been interpreted in such ways (stupidity occupying the sign of the feminine does not translate to "women are stupid"), in addition to the reaction to courses like Whiteness and Blackness (also on my transcript), only leads me to believe that there is a sad, sad absence of thinking. No, this website is not meant to be "serious." But when approached with critical thinking, popular culture is an amazing reflection of society. Not only does this legitimize, in my mind, all of these courses, but it makes this website and others like it fair game for inclusion in any of them - especially Stupidity.
Okay so I go to Oberlin, and no, no one has ever heard of it, but its still a very good school. Especially because Super Smash Brothers is not the only class of its type. We have classes on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and on the TV series Six Feet Under, and on Rapper Sword Dancing, and on Storytelling.
So just cause our mascot is a Yeoman and we're located in the cornfields of Ohio doesn't mean we're not legit.
Yeah, but it's hard to imagine how Smash Bros theory will affect anybody's life.
I didn't say smash bros. theory was groundbreaking, but it definitely isn't traditional. And in order to teach courses that are groundbreaking, we need academic standards that allow for non-traditional course material. Some of these courses actually are groundbreaking, but it's easy to deride them when you don't know much about them. The reason I'm "taking this seriously" is because there is a pretty considerable movement of neoconservatives who are lobbying for standards of "Academic Freedom" which would, ironically, censor a lot of material in the classroom for being too "political" or inappropriate. We should be aware of the ramifications.
Falco: since when is the theory of Super Smash Brothers Melee a "groundbreaking new theory"? Please.
bakatothefuture- if you're curious as to whether the average joe in ohio knows your school, what is it (dont want to make assumptions)? Being from Ohio originally, I could probably give you an idea. btw i dont know that many people named Joe, how about the average Dick there?
Last I knew, falco, the purpose of this website was to provide humor, which often manifests in the form of tongue-in-cheek social commentary.
This isn't a serious condemnation of the state of affairs in modern post-secondary education, it's an article on a humor website.
Does that really need to be explained?
Also, ModernDemagogue:
Am I ignorant if I don't know the top twenty shotput throwers of France, the top twenty armaments dealers in the U.K., and the top twenty liberal arts colleges in the U.S.A.?
I attended the #1 undergrad engineering institute in the U.S.A., and I can guarantee that your average Joe in Ohio has barely heard of it.
I don't expect them to know about it, and I certainly won't rub it in anyone's nose if they don't.
That would make me an asshat; which, thankfully, I am not, and, regrettably, you are.
Piss off.
falco528 - the purpose of this website is indeed to do things such as scour college websites and make fun of them for doing ridiculous things. If that's not your thing, I'm sure can find other websites that are a bit more boring.
It seems that jdelatorre is correct about that department. We can't forget to take "Critical Blackness" and "The Phallus".
So at the University of Mississippi (Ole Miss) one of my friends was teaching a class (and I'm not making this s**t up) on Zombies. I think it was listed as Zombie Survival. I didn't get to take it but it's the coolest s**t I've ever heard of.
I go to Occidental and Jdelatorre is full of it...there is no class called "getting high."
Ask yourself, seriously, is the purpose of this web site to police schools to make sure they only teach things that are traditional? Do you want colleges to keep teaching old-fashioned stuff, or do you want professors to be able to be groundbreaking and approach new issues? Clearly, all of these classes are risky: they are more likely to be un-rigorous than a class on Shakespeare. But wouldn’t you rather take something original if you went to one of these schools?
Let me add that I go to Occidental, and Stupidity isn't even the dumbest one. That honor has to go to "Getting High" and "Blackness" (with a prerequisite of "Whiteness").... actually, these are all in the same department, which is basically a disease at the school. Its called, get this, Critical Theory and Social Justice; when I told my dad about that he busted up, still good for a laugh to see all the "best and brightest" (aka biggest bleeding hearts and most out of touch with reality) waste away their time reading Marx, watching sitcoms, and telling everyone how racist and sexist everything is, even if they aren't intentionally!
coventry is a shithole
I always looked for good underwater-basket waving classes to fill in electives when I was in college... Sadly, none of them came anywhere near #1.
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Didn't a college offer a history course on Lil Kim's life?