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When you were a kid, did you ever have an adult tell you that masturbation could make you go blind? When you grew up, did you ever wonder where bullshit like that got started? History is full of sex experts who, as it turns out, were just making crap up as they went along. Samuel Auguste Tissot (1728 - 1797)
So what's the problem?
Tissot linked a whole host of diseases and disorders to masturbating, including blurred vision, memory loss, gout and rheumatism. Notably absent: chafed willy. Why he had such a hate-on for jerking off is anyone's guess, but his influence stuck around for a couple hundred years. That's incredible considering every single male who had his advice passed on to them knew, from personal experience, that it was total bullshit.
Dr. Sylvester Graham (1794 - 1851)
So what's the problem?
Obviously that didn't make him much more of a fan of yanking it than ol' Tissot was before him. Graham however took it a step further and tied the whole thing to diet, believing any spicy or rich foods were apt to cause you to go into a mad stroking fit at any moment. Meat was worst of all in Graham's eyes (if you've ever been to a company barbecue, you know how quickly they devolve into orgies with the cleaning ladies after the ribs are served). It was at this point that Graham did the only sane thing he could do and invented the Graham cracker, to save us from all that spicy, rich, lusty meat. And you have to admit, you don't see Hooters waitresses delivering plates of Graham crackers.
Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939)
Ellis was a British sexologist who gets credit for being one of the first to write about homosexuality without talking like it was a disease or a criminal act (in fact, he wrote the very first medical text on the subject). This was way back in 1897, putting him so far ahead of his time that most of the world still hasn't caught up. Seems OK so far ...
So what's the problem?
After the honeymoon, he returned to his bachelor pad and she stayed at her place, presumably busying herself with the whole being gay thing, while he practiced tirelessly at remaining a virgin. One of the things that might have made him so good at his craft: he was well known to be impotent. So he lived his adult life as a sex-free sexologist and it was only in his '60s that he discovered the magical cure for his impotence: piss. The details aren't entirely clear, but at some point around 1919, he happened to watch a woman going to the bathroom which caused sleepy little Havelock to finally wake up, giving him his first erection at an age when most men are experiencing their last.
We guess you could make the case that his sexless life allowed him to remain objective on the topic, so that he could, for instance, write a detailed description of the male erection without the usual interjection of "HAVING A BONER ROCKS!!!" that plagues the works of other males in th field. Still, it's hard to take cooking advice from a man who has never eaten. Ironically, he was also a supporter of eugenics. So basically he believed that most of the world's problems could be solved through selective breeding and golden showers. |
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I actually owe a great debt to Samuel Auguste Tissot. His work was monumental in treatment of migraines.
That egyptian woman was spoken about as an insane catastrophe here, since she wanted to educate women on their sexual rights or whatever..
Here is the United Arab Emirates, btw, where "public displays of affection" are illegal.
I'm Egyptian. Fmylife.
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That Havelock Ellis thing was a bit odd. I mean, Beethoven (Or some other musician, I'm historically retarded) was deaf and made some good music. Sexless nerds like me also think about sex ALL THE TIME, so I'm pretty sure it helps when the time comes. ;)
Just so you can figure it out, it's "you are" or "you're", you freaking imbecile.
I hope you are shitting us, Trinitytriple. You couldn't be so retarded to call people "stupid" while misspelling "your". Man, you've got to be kidding me.
And I could've sworn the name was Trinitynipple.
Trinity's not happy. Awww...
this was stupid. your all stupid people, you should hate your very lives for being this stupid
Its no wonder she says that Edyptian women don't need to masturbate. Its biblical yo, check out Ezekial 23:20 NIV.
That women is a moron....nothing can cure homosexuality....yeah the people she "cured" seem straight but I promise they have gay sex when no one knows......lol
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why are they talking about circumcision?
yousa scarin me.
Way to go, fuckers! That's was great of you guys to have a circumcion discussion even though someone told you not to, and this article didn't even mention circumcion once! Way to go! Assholes!
It's riskier to be un-circumcised, that was my point.
And I hate to break this to you kiddo, but we're all gonna die someday.
dissolve, you work at a hospital and you see diseased body parts, including dicks? Color me f****n' surprised. I used to work at a hospital and if I based my perception of the health of humanity on what I saw there, I'd assume we were on our way to extinction.
Scratch "chasing Egyptian girls" off my things to do list. Especially if they look like the goatbeast masquerading as a sex therapist, Ms Kotb (WTF kinda name is that? Buy another vowel, fer' Chrissakes).
right after the sex tape line, I get a netflix ad.... LOL
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