The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World
A responsible traveler won't set foot in another country without knowing how to viciously insult the people in their native language. Odds are, you won't even make it out of the airport before a situation arises that requires obscenities.
But "obscenity" is an ever-moving target. It's an amalgamation of cultural taboos, the impact of current events and your mom. Accordingly, every country has developed a uniquely beautiful set of curses and insults that set it apart. While some insults are broadly accessible, like your mom, others will require a little background for the new student. Thus, we offer this helpful guide to the best and most vulgar (and very real) insults from around the world:
#9.
"Suck butter from my ass" (Chupe mantequilla de mi culo)
Who Said That? The Spanish.
Dear God Why?
How does a culture wind up with "suck the butter from my ass" as an insult? It's starts with "Me cago en la leche," meaning "I shit in the milk." It's a common statement that's essentially a variant of "Damnit!" We're unsure how milk + poop = a jaunty, multipurpose expletive, but here we are.
Other helpful Spanish phrases:
When dookie is used for even the most pedestrian exclamations, more heated applications escalate the filth factor pretty rapidly:
"I shit on your dead" (Me cago en tus muertos)
"I shit on God" (Me cago en Dios)
"I shit in/on your whore mother" (Me cago en tu puta madre)
Note that's "in" or "on," we guess depending on how she likes it.
And the list goes on. These folks just love shit. Basically you can hold your own in any argument in Spain if you're creative enough with where you deposit your waste matter. If you're a man who is sharp enough to destroy someone with this virtualized shit-flinging, pride may reward you with a "Brazo de santo," which literally translates to "arm of a saint" which means a full erection.
#8.
"A thousand dicks in your religion" (Elif air ab dinikh)
Who Said That? The Arabs.
Dear God Why?
If you thought Spanish had an unusual fixation with fecal matter allow the Arabs to put it in perspective with their penis-based potshots. Describing someone as a "fatah" (foreskin) alone is considered a grave insult and that's only the tip of the proverbial/metaphorical ... iceberg.
Other helpful Arabic phrases:
"May you be struck by a dick" (Air il'e yoshmotak)
"My dick in your conscience" (Airy fe dameerak)
"My dick in your mother's rib cage" (Eyreh be afass seder emmak)
That's not to say they're just smut peddlers insult-wise. Some of the most disrespectful things you can say are 100 percent penis-free like "Surmayye a'raasac" (A shoe is on your head). The foot is considered the most filthy part of the body, courtesy of their deserts not having any shortages on dirt. To direct your foot at someone verbally or physically means you aren't hiding your contempt, as vividly demonstrated by the thousands of Nike treads upside Saddam's bronze dome (right).
That explanation was a lot easier to track back than "Yela'an sabe'a jad lak" (Damn your seventh grandfather), which is the deepest scope of damnation demonstrated by any culture thus far. We're not sure about the relevance of the "seventh," but we do respect that kind of surgical precision when trying to denigrate someone's family.
#7.
"He's as thick as a bull's walt" (that is, as dense as an erect bull penis)
Who Said That? The Irish.
Dear God Why?
Many classic curses from Ireland come out of Gaelic, which gives them a more folksy, old-timey appeal. Such as, "Go n-ithe an cat thu, is go n-ithe an diabhal an cat" (May the cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat).
Other helpful Irish phrases:
Gaelic really does its best work when it is conjuring up ways to describe foul acts. Sure, it's faster to say two people were fucking, but wouldn't you rather describe it as skin-hitting ("bualadh craicinn") or leather stretching ("streachailt leathair")?
The majority of Ireland does not speak Gaelic, but that hasn't hindered a bustling industry of filthy slang and occasionally rustic vernacular:
"Gobshite" (shithead)
"Piss artist" (alcoholic)
"As Thick As Manure And Only Half As Useful."
#6.
"Let a hungry Carpathian long-haired she-wolf blow your dick, fuck" (Gladna Karpatska valchitza s dalag kosam minet da ti prai deeba)
Who Said That? Bulgarians.
Dear God Why?
Bulgarian cursing is based on a hybrid of nature references and non sequiturs. Most of the good ones read like Tourette's syndrome Mad Libs. They still embrace common baselines, but the modifiers around it are what really shine. For instance:
Other helpful Bulgarian phrases:
"Your mother sucks bears in the forest" (Mayka ti duha na mechki v gorata)
"Fuck this tilted field" (Da eba taz kreeva neeva)
"You're as ugly as a salad" (Grozna si kato salata)
Some of them are so elaborate, it's not entirely clear which part to be offended by.
For instance, when someone tells you "Nosa ti e kato ruska putka" (Your nose is like a Russian pussy), should you be enraged at the comparison to a Russian or a vagina? And it's no different when being called "Pederas grozen gyrbaw prokazhen" (an unsightly hunchbacked leper queer). It sounds like swearing constructed from a profanity combo menu (please select one aspersion from Columns A, B and C).
The real strength of this approach is having the ability to offend those unfazed by unattractive gay leper jokes, but with a deep personal hatred of hunchbacks.
#5.
"Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors" (Cao ni zu zong shi ba dai)
Who Said That? The Chinese (Mandarin).
Dear God Why?
Stop the presses! Though this is not technically damning. The Chinese have managed to smash the previous seven-generation threshold for familial insults through this little gem. Take that, Arabic.
Other helpful Mandarin phrases:
While Mandarin has a wealth of generalized insults for the intellectually stunted ("Sha gua" means retard--literally "stupid melon"), it really brings the heat with insults that don't sound at all insulting.
"Wear a green hat." This doesn't sound particularly offensive until you understand that green hats were a component of the male brothel workers uniform during the Tang dynasty. These brothels were so prominent that some historians speculate the Tang dynasty was actually named after the amount of poozle they serviced rather than the emperor's family. References to green hats can challenge the fidelity of someone's wife or suggest someone's father is an anonymous man whore.
"Your mother is a big turtle" (Nide muchin shr ega da wukwei). Again, means nothing without context. But because a turtle doesn't know its father, it's a creative way of calling someone a bastard.
We'd probably still opt for "cho yade" (smelly slave wench), but we're steeped in a different tradition.
as far as Serbia goes, the "curses" mentioned in the article are new jokes that had been circling in e-mails for quite some time...that is to say, they are not used. at all.
Replyreal Serbian/Croatian/Bosnian/Montenegrian (and even modern Slovenian) insults are:
"God fucks you" (Jebo te bog)
"I f**k your sun" (Jebem ti sunce)
"Jebo ti pas mater" (Dog fucks your mother)
and I can't believe the author DIDN'T post the most popular of all:
"go to your mother's cunt" (Odi u pičku materinu)
p.s. we also have a few pretty modern, boring curses, equivalents of English ones:
"Fuck off" (Odjebi)
"You're so full of shit" (Sereš)
"Jebi se" (Fuck you)
for further instructions on how to pronounce these insults, just type "serbian lesson" in YouTube.
My all-time favourite insult is from South Africa:
Reply"Jy was deur jou ma se gat gebore want haar peos was te besig!" - You were born out of your mother's arse because her c**t was too busy.
THere's a LOT going on in that one!
Not sure if this has been mentioned but Gobshite means 'a person who talks alot of shit' not what you said. Fantastic list though!
ReplyWell I guess it can be open to interpretation. While gob-shite would, sequentially, be considered to mean mouth-shit, a sort of bullshit that comes out of one's gob, on the other hand it could mean a sort of Irish s**t that only lives in mouths, or that one's breath has gone quite septic, to the extent one should close their mouth shut, in order to spare what remains of another's sense of smell.
"Go take a dump on the coast" (Va chier sur la côte) -When someone's angry and needs to calm down
ReplyI cover you in s**t (Je t'emmerde)
I f**k you in the ass (Je t'encule)
We also have 'con' which means 'cunt'.
To be used with loads of adjectives. loads of adjectives (fat c**t, dirty cunt....)
Je t'emmerde, sale con.
"Faggotdwarf" is my new favorite word.
ReplyGobshite's one of my personal favourites, not a day gopes by when I don't use it
ReplyLOL I've been living in Spain since 1996 and I've NEVER heard "chupa mantequilla de mi culo". I have, however, heard all the others.
Reply"Me cago en todo" (I s**t on everything), when said quickly, sounds like this: "mecagüen tó" or "mecagon tó". LOL, great stuff, really.
"Me cago en tu puta madre" can also be "I s**t on your f*****g mother" instead of "whore mother". The Spanish use "puto" and "puta" a lot in very similar structures as the English "fuck" or "fucking". For example:
"Estoy harta de tus putas mentiras" = I'm sick of your f*****g lies.
The Spanish seem to have some sort of fascination with "cagar". Here are some more expressions which send me into head-scratching mode:
Me cago en diez = I s**t on ten (???) - Supposedly a corruption of "Me cago en Dios".
Me cago en la mar salada = I s**t on/in the salty sea (???)
Me cago en la mierda = I s**t on s**t (!!!) - Seriously?
Apart from the coined phrases, you can express your dissatisfaction with practically anything by just using this simple formula:
Me cago en + [offending concept]
For example: Me cago en mi trabajo = I s**t on my job (it would be something like "fuck my job").
Come visit Spain and, above all, have fun! ^_^
Thanks for the list! I've been trying to pick up Spanish for about a year now, but I found my vocabulary to be lacking in this particular area.
Me cago en Espana. Oh, wait, if I say that, they'll never let me back in.
Your list does do well in the exotic department, though I must point out that Balkan languages (especially Bulgarian and Serbian) tend to do quite well cross-culturally in the insult department. For example, if I were to call you a cum-eaing transvestite degenerate bastard son of an AIDS-stricken elderly gypsy leper whore with black dicks in her ears, I would phrase it like this: "Dolno kopele travers spermoyaden maika ti e durta kurva ciganska prokajena spinozna ebana ot cherni pishki v ushite"
ReplyThe bulk of insults is sex related, however another majority of insults comprise of the subject being broken or "wrong" in some manner, including mentally, socially, physically, or a product of such an individual or object. The terminology for this other category of insults is typically shorter on average in length, of a lesser potency, and fewer in number, but in combination increases the potency of other categories of insults much more effectively, than any type of insult of the same magnitude. It's also acceptable to assault other members of the target's bloodline reaching up to the 9th generation and beyond, if your flow is good. Insults concerning gender roles have fallen out of fashion lately, but you may still try claiming a parent either has the opposite gender's genitals, pisses sitting down or upright, if respectively male or female, or has incestious relationships with various older family members, alive, corpses or etc, whose genitals have been switched or are disease ridden in various ways; you may also choose to mingle with the culture, by picking up the opposite side of the above-mentioned foreskin debate. Circumcised penises are cut or "rezan", this is an attribute, which applies to the circumcised man himself, and is also a standalone religious and ethnic insult, depending on context.
The key to the (rich in variety and insult factor) flow of Bulgarian cursing is a combination of the availability of verbs and adjectives of the exact same meaning, but different implication, and the rhythmic delivery of heavy insults, supported by surrounding lesser, but supporting ones. The former allows for a flexibility of language, which gives the user a defensive capability, by twisting the words of one's opponent, in order to neutralize them and then twist known facts or observations about him from harmless into insulting in an efficient manner, thus not breaking the offensive flow of insults. This allows a string of insults to increase it's power exponentially, without resorting to one-upping a stronger opposing jab, thus giving insults a good tactical dimension, and providing an option to reserve humiliating comments for later, while still effectively continuing the engagement. In some cases, certain verbs and adjectives may have up to 20 and more variations with differing intensity, depending on situation and verbal context. Thus, in fact, the majority of slang is comprised of insults and shorthand sarcastic insult-hooks, with a complex relationship with any aspect of observable matter itself, usually of a non-consensual sexual type, though the lack of consent, whether or not that aspect is someone's parent, grandparent, and it's gender and ethnic or racial identity are, as a rule, always questionable.
Typical exchanges between users are often short and brutal, and in fact the majority of cursing is directed at inanimate objects, however one may occasionally bear witness to an expert duel of seasoned veterans, demonstrating an awe inspiring synthesis of complex rhythmic language patterns and primal behavior, more appropriate for distant aborigines, undisturbed by civilized man. In this cultured form of dance-fight for domination, words become weapons and commodities, to be used and traded in a fluid balance of power, where a single phrase in concert with gesture and pose, represents an act of great significance, and many rules regulate a rapid fire clash to test the very best of masters in all forms of communication.
Thank you. Just, thank you.
I just remember translating Catullus in my 200 level Latin Poetry class. I can't recall the words from memory, but there was a line that could be translated as one of three things: 1) The little girls are jealous of those two because they have each other (because they are little boys who are f*****g each other) 2) The Little girls are jealous of them because they are f*****g little boys (and said girls can't compete) 3) the little girls are jealous of them because they are competing to see how may little girls they can f**k and the ones they are leaving unmolested feel left out. Latin is SO filthy.
ReplyKeep in mind the Romans no doubt understood the multiple meanings and were meant to applaud Catullus for his multi-pronged attack.
Afatottari actually means "grandfather sucker" (one who blows grandfathers). I am Icelandic and I personally like to use the term göndlagleypir (cock-gulper). However, I made a scene in Spain once when I shouted at a small bowling ball of a bouncer when he didn't let me in because I wasn't exactly eighteen: "Mér þykir fyrir því að mamma þín hafi bara gefið þér beljufitu að drekka í staðinn fyrir brjóstamjólk eða athygli en þrátt fyrir það máttu éta þín eigin eistu og ef þú ert ennþá hæfur til að serða eftir það, þá máttu þrykkja ömmu þína í rassgatið og drekka brundið úr hangandi endaþarmi hennar!! or... "I'm sorry that your mother only gave you cow's lard to drink instead of breast milk or attention but still, you may eat your own testicles and if you're still capable of f*****g after that, you can pork your grandma in the ass and drink the jizz from her protruding rectum!!"
Replyhere ya go: space-cricket (someone who is obnoxiously loud trying to get attention but failing) and "genetic throwback to a cliff ape" (someone who prides themselves for being big and stupid...bullyish)
ReplyTHIS is why i don't travel outside the US. I'm afraid ill curse someone out by saying "Nice day huh?"
ReplyThere's some other Arab ones worth mentioning: "kos omak" translates to "your mother's vagina" and saying this will likely result in a large fight erupting. "ya ibn el mitnaka" which translates into "you son of a woman that has been fucked." That one is also quite severe. There's also a mild one that goes "ya ibn el gazma" - " you son of a shoe."
ReplyBetter translation of Serbian one would be ''Stick your dick in the porcupine's back.'' Some of the more common insults here are Mars u picku materinu (Go back in your mother's c**t), Jebem te u usta (F-ck you in the mouth), Glup si ko kurac (You're dumb as a dick)...
Reply"They've got a face only a mother could love."- My Mother who is from Co. Cork Ireland. I'm a Yank.
ReplyAmerican
Replym***********g, dick sucking, two-balled b***h Everytime I look at you my balls itch
Your mama's in the kitchen makin' homemade s**t Your brother's in jail
Your daddy's in hell
And your sister's outside yellin' "pussy for sale!"
Ah.. I never knew that many language has insults that takes longer than 2 or 3 words (4 tops).
ReplyIn indonesia (or malaysia,as we have almost the same language) we only have small sentences insult.
tai lu! (you're a shit)
ngentot lu! (fvck you)
babi lu! (you're a pig)
anjing lu! (you're a dog)
as simple as that
Font is wierd~ but I love the article.
ReplyFrom arabic
ReplyAla zubbi ya minuke
(Ride my Di** fag)
One from pakistan:-
ReplyMay talibans go in your mother's PU*** and blow themselves up
(Teri maa ki phuddi main taliban phatain)
Brilliant!!! I don't know whether that's real or you came up with it yourself but that is damned funny. Sad if you think about it but funny. Thanks for sharing.