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The 9 Most Devastating Insults From Around the World

By Ian Cheesman May 20, 2008 1,336,527 views
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#4.
"Grandfatherfucker" (Afatottari)

Who Said That? Icelanders.

Dear God Why?
Icelandic swearing is cutely offbeat. It leverages relatively bland sounding terminology and lets subtext do all the heavy lifting. Would you expect the country that hatched Bjork to be any less bizarre?

Other helpful Icelandic phrases:

"Plunger" (Drullusukkor). That is, the plumbing tool, roughly equivalent to "fucktard."

"Girl who drives a truck" (Trukkalessa). A butch lesbian--that one sort of works in America too, no?

When they eventually run out of random items to call one another, they will revert to grittier tactics. A grand majority of them revolve around who or what their antagonist is prone to fucking.

"Corpsefucker" (naridill)

"Sheepfucker" (rollurioari)

"Unclefucker" (frandseroir)

It's assuring to see other cultures helping us to push the envelope of what "fuck" is truly capable of.

#3.
"I'll make sarma with your penis' skin" (Glirit mortin hed sarma shinem)

Who Said That? Armenians.

Dear God Why?
If you're not familiar with sarma, just picture an egg roll. Yeah, it doesn't get much more disturbing than that.

Other helpful Armenian phrases:
Fun Fact: You can gauge how industrialized a nation is by the percentage of their insults that involve barnyard animals.

"Eshoon noor oodel chi vayeler" It's not pretty watching a jackass try to eat a pomegranate (read: clumsy).

"Krisnera zhazh tan vred" Let the rats ejaculate on you.

"Kak oudelic shoon" Shit eating dog.

"Eshu Koorak" Son of Donkey.

The one involving rats is particularly jarring. It leverages sexual violation and vermin to make its point. Either that or we've misinterpreted it and Armenia is actually some sort of Mecca for furries.

There are a fair amount of genital references interwoven into their cursing as well. "Dzvis ty" translates to "My nut's twin", effectively calling the other person a testicle. It is not presently known if they intend you to usurp the existence of one of the balls present or if this is a declaration that Armenian men naturally sport a lone testicle.

#2.
"May God give you to search for your children with a Geiger counter" (Da bog da trazio detzoo Gaygerovim broyachem)

Who Said That? Serbians.

Dear God Why?
The Serbian curse dictionary is unafraid to embrace controversy. Sure, they enjoy simple classics like "Jebo ti jeza u ledja" (May you fuck a hedgehog) and "Popasi me chmarne dlachitse" (Graze on my ass hair), but politics and even religious jabs are fair game. Such as ...

Other helpful Serbian phrases:

"The Pope fucks you" (Jebo te Papa)

"May your house be live on CNN" (Da bog da ti kuca bila na CNN-U)--this essentially means I hope NATO will bomb your house.

Not all their digs are quite so topical. The CNN-based insults only work against people whose homes haven't been bombed, which couldn't be more than a couple dozen.

That's why "Da bi te majka prepoznala u bureku" (Let your mother recognize you in a meat pie) and "Da Bog da ti zena rodila stonogu pa ceo zivot radio za cipele" (May your wife give birth to a centipede so you have to work for shoes all your life) are instant classics as well.

#1.
"Stick your hand in my ass and jerk off with my shit" (Sa-mi bagi mana-n cur si sa-mi faci laba la cacat)

Who Said That? Romanians.

Dear God Why?
Romanian cursing is a bawdy, imaginative mix of the perverse and the profane. Modern linguists have determined that its roots originated from a time-traveling John Waters upon realizing there was still an entire history of people not grossed out by Pink Flamingos yet.

Other helpful Romanian phrases:

"Shampoo my dick-hair with your saliva" (Shampona-mi-ai flocii cu saliva)

"Brush your teeth, my dick will be inspecting soon!" (Spala-te pe dinti ca vin cu pula in inspectie)

Mothers are another favorite target in this region. However, rather than indulge the classic "Yo Mamma" insult architecture, they prefer to taint her sanctity in a round-about way. For example, "Usca-mi-as sosetele pe crucea ma`tii" (I dry my socks on your mother's cross) is blasphemous, but really only as a vehicle to get at the mom. You really have to applaud the balls it takes to assault God just to slam someone's mother.

Another example of this is "Futu-tzi coliva ma~tii" (Fuck your mother's funeral meal). We're not sure if this meant to simply show disdain for the deceased or demonstrate intent to fornicate with the sarmalute cu mamaliga plate, but neither is particularly polite.

Honorable Mentions:

Here's some more helpful phrases as you travel the globe, insulting the locals in their native language:

Danish:
Suck devilcock in hell you faggotdwarf (Sut djavlepik i helvede din bossedvarg).

Vietnamese:
"You eat pubic hair with salt-dip" (May an long dai cham mui)

Finnish:
"Piss into a transformer" (Kuse muuntajaan)

Afrikaans:
"Suck on my hemorrhoids and wait for better days" (Siug aan my aambeie en wag vir beter dae")

Albanian:
"May you get fucked by a blind bear" (Te qifte arusha qorre)

Bosnian:
"I dream about farting on you" (Sanjam da prdnem na tebe)

We're thinking that should cover about every situation. Enjoy your trip!

When Ian isn't writing here or heading off to work in his green hat, he writes at internetsensation.com.

If you liked that you'll probably enjoy our look at 9 Words That Don't Mean What You Think. And don't forget to find out why The Mad Lib Answering Machine only sounds like a good idea. Or head to the brand new Official Cracked.com Store and become a startlingly attractive walking advertisement for our site.



my Hungarian father taught me lófasz a seggedbe, meaning a horse's dick up your ass...

6/22/2009 11:03:21 AM
guythefirst

I'm from Bulgaria and neither I, nor anyone I know have heard of this insult. I don't know where you got this information from, but it's clearly some idiolect and... all in all, it's total bulls..t.

6/15/2009 8:11:53 AM
Ellie_Elbub

OH MY GOD by far the best article on Cracked i laughed my f****n ass off for hours

6/9/2009 3:45:15 AM
jsbls

All the insult lines in this article are copied from Insultmonger.com and passed off by Ian Cheesman as something more enterprising on his part than simply visiting insultmonger.com and working right-clicking on his mouse to work the copy and paste option. This article is simply theft of another website's content.

http://www.insultmonger.com

5/20/2009 1:08:49 PM
Yoga

this was such an awesome article, I am just speechless with the randomosity of the insults here.

5/19/2009 6:31:15 AM
yesbutnotyou

hey im serbian and a jez(jeza in text) means porcupine and some other good ones are jebem ti misha (f**k you're mouse), jebacu ti mamu maminu (i'll f**k you're grandmother), and kirva cu da ti se napijem ( ill drink you're blood)

5/12/2009 1:12:20 PM
IPWNU

I don't know why, but I am proud of my country (Romania)

5/11/2009 12:51:11 PM
AliasEclectic

First of all I LOVE this website you guys are the best! Second, I'm Armenian and i have to say. I've never heard anyone ever say

It's not pretty watching a jackass try to eat a pomegranate
s**t eating dog

And most certainly never heard
I'll make sarma with your penis' skin

but i have to say the rats ejaculating one is a personal favorite to say to others. Keep it up you guys rule!

5/8/2009 3:03:13 PM
kunemkez

Im irish and i have never heard of that insult but i think that i might use it and see what happens also it is true that most of the irish people only have a most rudemental grasp of irish
but a good irish insult is pog me hoan it means kiss my arse
and irish is called gaeilge
old scottish is gaelic

3/28/2009 1:32:43 PM
jellyfish

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahaahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha... and so on...

3/25/2009 9:57:41 AM
pacey

Not that I am offended by the article! I usually crack my ass (Spanish: Me parto el ojete) with this site. Keep it up!

3/4/2009 8:00:23 PM
Alveleg

I am from Spain. Since the first thing you see in this article is the spanish part, I think I should add something. I have NEVER heard "Chupa mantequilla de mi culo". In my whole life. The fact is, there are some americans that think Spain equals Mexico, and Chile, and all these countries. Of course, knowing that american english and english... well, english from england! are more or less of the same thing, some of you must be thinking: Hey, Mexican spanish and Spanish spanish must not be very different! No. Wrong. Error. In fact they are QUITE different. In Spain, you must understand, there was a dictatorship undergoing until about 30 years ago. You could get shot if you said HOSTIA PUTA! (Holy s**t!) in public. So people started shitting in more mundane and not bullet inducing things. Like milk. Like your teeth (Me cago en tus muelas). Well, I hope this was... educational.

3/4/2009 7:56:29 PM
Alveleg

Im Romanian! Lol, we scored #1 :))
I could tell you way more, things like "date-n cacat (go into my s**t)", "sa-ti dau muie cu picamerul (go suck my dick with a jackhammer)", and a whole lot more! lol

2/18/2009 12:39:05 PM
jaffarhu

i am from serbia and i never heard the one with the radiation and kids, also with the CNN insult and i surely know that just a few houses where bombed during the war

2/8/2009 1:14:53 AM
milestarcar1994

"I dream about farting on you" That's a hardcore insult right there

1/29/2009 11:18:36 PM
Macho Maddness

I haven't head the Danish one before. And I'm from Denmark.

1/27/2009 1:35:27 PM
SkullLord

brush your teeth my dick will be inspectinq soon???
that sounds just a tad bit more qay than insultinq.

1/27/2009 1:23:27 PM
ifyouseekamylol

PS-whole Balkan is fucked up

1/26/2009 9:58:45 PM
Zagor

"I dream about farting on you" wtf never heard that 1 ever b.s also most of serbian insults are used in bosnia and croatia. it used to be the same f*****g language... Jebaću ti Boga-I will f**k your God,Jebo te Bog-May God f**k you,Jebo te Allah -May Allah f**k you,idi u picku materinu-Go back in you moms p***y,Jebem ti ranjenog oca u stap-I f**k your wounded father in the walking stick,Jebao ti mrtvu mater-f**k your dead mother,Jebem ti grob u koji ces lec-I f**k the grave that you are going to lay in,Dabogda te zgazila kola HITNE POMOCI-May the ambulance hit you,Dabogda ti zena trudnu djevojcicu rodila-May your wife give birth to a pregnant girl,

1/26/2009 9:56:59 PM
Zagor

Okay, I'm Irish. Unlike most Irish people, I speak Irish (or Gaelic, as you might say) quite well. I've never heard those insults. I'm not saying they're not real or anything - probably just confined to the rural parts.

1/20/2009 12:52:25 PM
Wacker