If Valentine's Day Cards Were Honest ...
Women always say they want a relationship built on honesty. This Valentine's Day, give her a card that will prove she doesn't really mean it.
If you liked this, check out what it would look like If Banner Ads Were Forced to be Truthful. Or, watch the most honest anti-drug ad of all-time.
Honestly, if I were to get one of these cards, it would be the best Valentine's Day gift ever.
ReplyLiked the quack quack lets pork lets pork and the hard as a rock for you. Not the classiest cards but still funny. Some women might enjoy them for a laugh. The hard as a rock made me think of AC/DC
ReplyBefore there was Photoplasty. I loved these.
ReplyIts better then the Hallmark crap we get these days... well... also most. The ones with the real models are kinda funny.
ReplyWhere did these card designs come from? Is there any way to get these as paper cards?
Replyhmm an ex gave me the Anal Card. It was done, and so was the relationship...sigh
Replyamybe you sholdnt be such a tight ass (pun intended)
hahaha sweet
ReplyQuack Quack Let's Pork.
Replyf**king awesome.
I think that would definitely work on some ladies. Most I know like absurd humor and ducks.
What made the checklist one hilarious is that "Sex in the City"
Replyis a Greek fatty porn film.
ANAL SEX TONIGHT.lol
ReplyIt took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out what that last one said.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI agree, I feel so retarded
I thought it was a word search at first. Then I noticed "A N A" and immediately knew where it was going... ;-)
You're not alone. It took me awhile to figure it out as well.
Does nobody else get the point of "Flashback"? These are old articles that people missed the first time round. If you don't like it, read one of the 3 NEW ARTICLES that came out today and every other day (sometimes you even get 4 *gasp*)!
ReplyYou know the drill. Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness for a significant other by showering her with gifts, flowers, dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic. Every Valentines day you rack your brains for that one special, unique gift that will show your wife or girlfriend that you really do care for them more than any other. Now ladies, I'll let you in on a little secret; guys really don't enjoy this that much. Sure seeing that smile on your face when we get it right is priceless, but that smile is the result of weeks of blood, sweat and consideration. Another secret; guys feel left out. That's right, there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it.
Reply Hide All See All 10 RepliesWhich is why a new holiday has been created.
March 14th is now officially "Steak and b*****b Day". Simple, effective and self explanatory, this holiday has been created so you ladies finally have a day to show your man how much you care for him.
No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the town; the name of the holiday explains it all, just a steak and a BJ. Thats it. Finally, this twin pair of Valentine's Day and Steak and b*****b Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere try THAT much harder in February to ensure a memorable March 14th!
March 14 is taken. Pi day. Get a new day.
I fail to see why a BJ would be as desirable as a steak.
Also, I'm neither too proud nor too embarrassed. I WANT MY GODDAMN VALENTINE'S CHOCOLATE JALAPENOS, DAMMIT.
"[...] guys feel left out. [...]Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it."
Stop being proud.
Or, stop b***hing. Your choice.
(Bonus option: Get a girl that doesn't give a damn about Valentine's day.)
Everyone around Durham NC has celebrated S&BJ day for years, it really should be a national holiday. I agree wiuth you woolph.
Really thought that was funny..... the first time I heard about it, which wasn't here & not in your ridiculously long post.
Psshh, we already have S&BJ day at my house at least once a week. He cooks me steak, and, well...you know the rest. :)
What if it's a really bad steak and she's a biter?
And some guys like it - when they first fall in love and the chase is on. Whether it's because it gives them a bigger chance to "pork" said girl or he just likes the chance to woo her because he's a young fool who hasn't yet had the joy sucked out of him, people like this exist.
Well, it's like this for girls too - whichever valentine we choose/chooses us, will inevitably expect us to put out either on v-day or later. And now, you expect us to put out on S+BJ day too? Screw you! :P
Jadicegirl: Now, your name is just terrifying!
Wall of text crits for 1800!!
Janni, on S & BJ day, it's not the joy that gets sucked.
u win 100 internets and a s standing ovation from me and the other men on this site9even if they dont agree) . amen
If stores sold these cards instead of the sappy/fake ones they sell, then Valentine's would be something to give a crap over.
ReplyThese are freakin' BRILLIANT. 2 years and this article has yet to get old. I'm hanging all of these on the wall at my next Valentine's Day party. Um... that is if I were the kind of person to, you know, GO to such a party... 'cause, you know... um...
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesLiving in your mom's basement like the rest of us?
Actually, I live in my father's atiic, yeah i'm just that awesome
That's so original, totally written like Kerouac
"now it's had all the lulz squeezed out of it" hahaha, you lose douchebag.
ReplyIt's funny cuz it's true.. there are like 4 of those I could really use.
Replyquestion...do guys think about SEX only all the time??? i never thought these were the implications of the mushy shit guys do for me! hahaha man, i'm a whore?!
ReplyNo, they don't. And you're not. Don't worry.
Naughty racist greeting cards?
ReplyHappy VD day. and I do mean VD. I miss ron burgandy :(
Reply