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#1.
Theodore Roosevelt
Checking Teddy Roosevelt's resume is like reading a How-To guide on ass-kicking manliness. He was a cattle rancher, a deputy sheriff, an explorer, a police commissioner, the assistant Secretary of the Navy, the governor of New York, and a war hero. Out of all of his jobs, hobbies and passions, Roosevelt always had a special spot in his heart for unadulterated violence. In 1898, Roosevelt formed the first U.S. Volunteer Cavalry Regiment, known as the Rough Riders. Most people already know of the Rough Riders and their historic charge up San Juan Hill, but few know that, since their horses had to be left behind, the Riders made this charge entirely on foot. You just could not stop this man from violencing the hell out of a San Juan Hill.
And don't think that Roosevelt lost his obsession with violence when he became president, or he might just come back from the dead and murder you, (and how do you kill a Teddy Roosevelt that's already dead!?!). He strolled through the White House with a pistol on his person at all times, though, with his black belt in jujitsu and his history as a champion boxer, it wasn't like he really needed it. It wasn't just his war record or the fact that he knew several different ways to kill you that made Roosevelt such a badass. It wasn't even the fact that he kept a bear and a lion at the White House as pets, (though that certainly helps). Teddy Roosevelt was a badass of the people. Roosevelt received letters from army cavalrymen complaining about having to ride 25 miles a day for training and, in response, Teddy rode horseback for 100 miles, from sunrise to sunset, at 51 years old, effectively rescinding anyone's right to complain about anything, ever again.
Did we mention he had asthma growing up? He did, and after he beat asthma to death, he ate asthma's raw flesh and ran 100 straight miles off the energy it gave him.
Greatest Display of Badassedry:
"A cold."
Most Badass Quote:
Some men have to work to become badasses. But some are just born into it. You've just read about the first type, now read about the second in our article about The 9 Manliest Names in the World. Or check out the Daily Nooner, and watch a respected journalist say the words: sacred undergarments. |
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Where the f**k is Truman at? Come on people.. atomic f*****g nuclear kill everygoddamn person alive s**t.
one of the funniest articals on the site
Teddy Roosevelt actually got made fun of when he was 23 and started his political career...in response he took a break moved to the badlands and became a self taught farmer, rancher, and all around badass
I agree with Skainhisears. There was so much more great Jackson material... I guess they ran out of space for the article.
And not that anyone comes back to read these, but seriously, stop generating arguments out of nothing. Gregoclock, were you alive during every presidency or know what it has been like to live in this country for the past 250 years? No, so shut the f**k up. Bush is an a*****e, and so are you for lashing out at someone who really didn't deserve it.
If "boning" makes one badass, you should add John Tyler to the list. He sired 14 children with two different women, the youngest was born when he was 70!
Plus, he withstood a mob siege against the White House by arming the staff and standing them down.
I'm ashamed to see Andrew Jackson so low on the list. There are so many other badass things he did... let me just name a few:
He invaded Florida (while it was under spanish rule) against orders... twice; the second time he was declared the first, last, and only Military Governor of the new territory.
At the battle of New Orleans, against unsurmountable odds (and with the help of John Lafitte, a French Pirate) he took on two of the British's best commanders and won, even though out-numbered close to 12-to-one. The casualties for the British were about 3000; the americans lost 13 soldiers.
He had plenty of other nicknames, too. The Hero of New Orleans, was one (for obvious reasons), The Caped crusader (he's still the only guy to have worn a cape for his Presidential portrait), and Sharp Knife, a nickname given to him by the Creeks, because he just decimated the crap out of them.
Like there was this one time when AJ and his militia stumbled upon an Creek camp where 3 american settlers had been gutted and hung upside down to let their entrails flow out of them. Jackson proceeded to slaughter the entire camp, men, women, and children. At the end of the debacle, though, he found a newborn cradled in its dead mother's arms, and then Jackson adopted and raised the child as his own.
I could keep going, but i won't.
teddy roosevelt is basically the Chuck norris of presidents
Wow - I had no idea Roosevelt was such a...well, a badass. Very interesting stuff; really makes our current leaders look like a bunch of whiny, ineffective pussies.
Jmx what-ever-your-name-is...leading the trail of tears is not a display of badassery. It is a display of jackassery. The badassedness of that situation was giving the rapist/oppressor/trailblazers syphillis for all their trouble. Since it was innocuous to the indians and deadly to ol' whitey.
Actually... He is right and that makes you the tard. 1828 was in the 19th century, just like it is now the 21st century
Wow. Guy below me is a tard!
1828 is neither the 17th, nor the 18th century, friends...
@socialmisfit9: the teddybear was named after him because bear was his favorite animal to hunt. Teddy... bear...
@Fidelis: your a tool. Not only do you not know your history and what good came of that president, but your blind of what your current one is up to.
And no, he hasn't just spent all your money, he's produced the biggest debt your country has ever seen to date. Oh, and China has bought a big chunk of it, fantastic!
Fidelis: you're a tool. George Bush is the closest the united States has ever gotten to a dictator. the united States is no longer a legal democracy. Bush has the power right now to stop the election process and remain in power, as long as he deems there is a threat to the American people.
And there's always some fake, sensationalized threat out there. "OH NO! Iran looked at us funny! let's strip our countrymen of their civil rights and spend all their money on another senseless engagement of battle on an undeserving nation"
Jefferson Davis should definitely be number 1.
Where the hell is Abraham Lincoln, i was sure he was going to be number 1, seeing that he was a beast, and the closest thing America has ever had to being a dictator.
Andrew Jackson wrote death threats to his opponent John Quincy Adams. He probably would have killed the crap out of him given the chance. He also believed the world was flat.
Oh and George Washington was also a badass for growing marijuana in his back garden lol.
Don't forget, Jackson also tried to wipe out the cherokee with unfiorced marches.
i don't know. Even though Teddy roosevelt was a Trooper, who punched asthma in the face, John Adams had fun getting shot.
I have no idea which one is my favorite. probably Teddy Roosevelt. because of the teddy bear.
but..How in the hell did someone come up with the teddy bear? the most soft, cuddliest little guy ever, when Teddy roosevelt was almost the opposite of a teddy bear?
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padredonut
Actually, Dickinson got into a duel with Jackson by calling a female family friend of Jackson's a former prostitute. After being shot then killing his opponent, Jackson was quoted to say something along the lines of "God himself couldn't have stopped me from killing that bastard!"