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The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time
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#3.
John Quincy Adams
John Quincy Adams is, hands down, one of the most God awful ugly-assed presidents in American history but, well, the Predator was pretty hideous too, and no one will deny that he still kicks a fairly serious amount of ass. Also like the Predator, Adams was known as a shrewd negotiator and a strong advocate of outdoor boning. But we'll get to that a little bit later.
Adams also maintained a strict, Rocky-like regiment of constant exercise that included a swift swim across the Potomac every morning. Even at 58 years old, Adams could reportedly swim the width of the Potomac in an hour. Also, the nudity; Adams famously exercised and swam nude, presumably, in case he ever came across some emergency that needed immediate boning while out exercising.
Greatest Display of Badassedry:
As for the outdoor boning? Well ...
Most Badass Quote:
It's not too clear, but it sounds like Adams genuinely believed Americans invented having sex outside, a discovery he no-doubt believed he himself pioneered. |
With his father away from home most of the time busying himself with the rebel cause, Adams, at age eight, was the man of the house. As if ensuring the safety and prosperity of an entire house before you even hit puberty isn't daunting enough, Adams had to do it all during a fucking war. He, in fact, often talked about watching the battle of Bunker Hill from his front porch, constantly worried about being, as he wrote in his diary, "butchered in cold blood, or taken and carried...as hostages by any foraging or marauding detachment of British soldiers." Remember when you were eight and you worried about missing Pokemon? Yeah. If you're feeling, perhaps, a little wet right now, it's because the ghost of an eight year old John Quincy Adams is pissing all over you as you read this.
I'd like to see a TDR vs. Rasputin vs. Jackson tri duel beat around match.
Really? Roosevelt is number one? He owned guinea pigs for god's sake. Maybe they he trained them to be murderous...
Paula Abdul's crazy stalker on AMerican Idol!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=70122a94f95b80991001
I've never laughed harder at a Cracked article than I did at this one. Roosevelt was friggin' awesome. I'm seriously considering naming my first son (or daughter, whatever) Theodore.
Jackson is still honored like Robert E. Lee down here in Louisiana. Explains a lot about us, huh? Teddy is still the Mac Daddy Bad ass... Great column! Great column!
Haha, though that would be spectacular to see I have to admit on the night Obama won I had the worst feeling when he went to make his victory speech. If anything it wouldn't surprise me if it happened at some point in the next 4 years.
wow, everyone is afraid of obama being assasinated. Now I expect him to beat the freakin assasin to death. That would win him reelection
Best boobs clips ever! Naked News! Russell Brand dissing old men about their slutty granddaughters! Who's Nailin Paylin clips! ALL FREE!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bfa4055a7d13cd430dde&page=3&viewtype=&category=mr
Another display of TR badassery:
The night after taking san juan hill,it was reported that TR taunted the Spanish sharpshooters by walking into range and then marching back and forth while they were shooting at him. True or false, all I know is that I saw it on the history channel documentary "Theodore Roosevelt, an American lion."
Also, when he was shot, the bullet passed through his speech AND his steel plated glasses case, and then lodged itself in the wall of his lung.
Also, I agree that Jackson should have been higher on the list, that man was insane. Did you know that many Indian casinos do not accept or use twenty dollar bills because Jackson's likeness is on it. Oh and in the battle of New Orleans, Jackson fought alongside the same Indians he would later march to death. Before he started killing them, the Indians loved him.
Not to be rude Jay, but TR is apparently a CHARACTER in Phantom of the Opera to, because the book was published beginning, in part, in 1908. So I highly doubt that he did that. But bike patrolling at midnight? Probably. Also, dark, what was that think called? I'd like to see it!
Ashtar -- a lot of times, he'd dress up as the phantom of the opera while he was on patrol. Not only would be completely f**k your s**t up, but he'd be classical about it, too.
Very well done.
Another bad ass thing Roosevelt did while he was in the police in New York was he patrolled the streets in the middle of the middle of the night on a bicycle. I actually saw a thing on the psychology of batman before "The Dark Knight" came out and they said they wanted to think of Batman as having the same type of mentality a Theodore Roosevelt, and I don't mean gay batman like George Cloony, but Christian Bale super bad ass batman. Now that should show how much of a bad ass he is.
Teddy took a sniper shot to the chest and kept on going with his 90 minute speech?
That is the most f*****g awesome thing I ever heard... If Obama or McCain did that they'd get my vote easily, hands down, no contest
Who wants to shoot Obama or McCain for me?
No maedene, Chuck Norris is the Teddy Rosevelt of martial artists.
Actually, Dickinson got into a duel with Jackson by calling a female family friend of Jackson's a former prostitute. After being shot then killing his opponent, Jackson was quoted to say something along the lines of "God himself couldn't have stopped me from killing that bastard!"
Where the f**k is Truman at? Come on people.. atomic f*****g nuclear kill everygoddamn person alive s**t.
one of the funniest articals on the site
Teddy Roosevelt actually got made fun of when he was 23 and started his political career...in response he took a break moved to the badlands and became a self taught farmer, rancher, and all around badass
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dontbugme3
im pretty sure this story is actually old. go to http://stuffididlastnight.com for full details