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Sark
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Sark has been many things since the 13th century: a haven for pirates, a monastic community, and then a haven for pirates again. Now that we think about it, that's not many things. Anyway, Queen Elizabeth I, tired of pirates, allowed 40 families to move onto the islands on the condition that they would stab any idiot in the balls who uttered "YARRRR!" even if he was just doing it ironically. Sark and the rest of Guernsey did not do very well in WWII, when the Germans took over the whole place. Although, the ruler of Sark at the time demanded the Germans to sign in as visitors and they did. But, the people of Sark showed their bravery in 1991 when the French attacked them. And by "the French" we mean unemployed French nuclear physicist Andre Gardes, who tried to take over the island by himself with an automatic weapon. The invasion ended when the local constable approached him and asked him how his awesome gun worked. Andre began to show him and that's when the fire brigade jumped from behind (source: Wikipedia).
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The Aerican Empire
Here, there and everywhere. The Aerican Empire claims the following territories:
*A house in Montreal that doubles as the empire's capital and embassy to the rest of the world.
Around 120 citizens.
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The Republic of Molossia
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Molossia began as the Grand Republic of Vuldstein, back in 1977. James Spielman was crowned King and Kevin Baugh was declared Prime Minister. Back then Molossia didn't have any territory or much to do so the King got bored and probably decided to go for saner hobbies than starting his own nation. Prime Minister Baugh, on the other hand, carried on. In 1998 land was purchased in Nevada and finally Molossia had some territory to call its own. Kevin Baugh then declared himself dictator and rules over his family with an iron fist; so he is like your dad, but with a fancy uniform.
Molossia has its own online store. We have no clue if the Authentic Molossian Pedigreed Pet Rocks are their biggest seller, but if they are, they should be ashamed of themselves. You can also purchase Molossian money, called Valora, which is linked in value to Pillsbury cookie dough. The coins look like repainted poker chips, so if you want to waste your money, Molossia is the place! The Molossian homepage has a very detailed account of the mock war they had with the neighbor micronation of Mustachistan, but intentionally stupid wars are no fun, so we are going to talk about the Dead Dog War. In 1999, some people, unaware of what they were getting into, buried their dead dog in Molossian territory. Baugh quickly mobilized his army (his thirteen-year-old son), who annoyed the intruders until they removed their dead dog and buried it elsewhere. And they should consider themselves lucky. If they had tried to give the dog a Viking funeral near Sealand, Roy would have mobilized General Pain and Major Trouble, which is what he calls his fists, right into their faces and buried the dog, Viking ship and all, up their asses, because that's how Roy rolls.
Fun Fact:
To laugh at crazy people from real foreign countries, check out this video round-up of The 10 Most Insane Moments from the European Version of American Idol or, check out the most disturbing video yet to appear on the Daily Nooner. Not surprisingly, it's from Japan. |
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Yes, in Denmark we say, "Slaa to fluer med et smæk" :D
Your talking about not being offensive? Jamaica's main export is bauxite dude. That comment hurt :(.
Hey ... let's not be offensive, Colombia primary export product ain't drugs, there is coffee and flowers, fruits and other stuff like that, and in some cases actor and writers (they born here and them they flee so is actually like exporting, right ? ), Colombia is not all drugs, if you want a country full of drugs you should look at Jamaica ... and about the civil war stuff, is more of like a group f*****g retarded that decided to kill any one they want and became drugs warlords, but the are like 10% of the population, and they would not have that much power if people outside of the country would stop using drugs, as a fact most of the people here do not use drugs, and if they do, they mostly would have they won plant in home (personal doses is legal, that means if you want you can drug yourself, but in home and by your own means) ... but well any way, still pretty good article i really like very much this page and the super funny-sarcastic-f*****g awesome articles i get to read here every now ant then >:D .
Sadly King Robert the Bald passed away on 27th August 2009. He leaves a country in confusion, as he appointed no successor. The Royal Naval Tot Club of Antigua and Barbuda are taking applications from literary persons of note to make a case for their nomination as the next King of Rendonda. Applications are available by email from totclub@candw.ag .Conditions apply which an applicant will be required to satisfy.
http://www.antiguanice.com/v2/client.php?id=575&news=1#news86 for the full story.
Hahaha, Molossia is currently (still) at war with East Germany.
This seriously has to be a joke, they talk about being threatened by attack iguanas. The guy is a loon.
I'd like to boast of actually having seen Redonda. It's closer to Montserrat than Antigua, by the way.
As I think someone mentioned, sadly Sark is no longer a feudal state, but how it stopped being one is just about as amusing as anything else you can say about the place. Basically, the Barclay brothers, who set up their business empire on Sark as a tax break and employ the majority of the population, wanted extra say in how the place was gone. The Seigneur told them to sod off, so the Barclays appealed over his head to the EU, and pointed out that the island they hadn't otherwise noticed didn't meet their requirements for democratic rule under the Human Rights Convention.
An election was duly called, with around 10% of the population standing for seats, and the Barclays confident of their supporters gaining a significant victory in the new parliament (since they employ everyone on the island). A foolproof plan, except that the Sercquais gave the Barclays the collective finger and returned the pre-election feudal governors with an 82% majority.
Difficult to know whether the whole business represents a triumph for feudalism over democracy, or democracy over feudalism, but it's definitely a win for both over smug gits with too much money.
you guys should have looked at the map at the bottom on the first website of redonda. its called cockaigne rock
Are you making fun of the Aerican Empire hmmm? I can take you guys to there supreme court for that I believe =P
I'm surprised they didn't include the Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Islands.
The story of the crazy French invader, as my dad told it to me, was almost exactly like that - except it wasn't the fire brigade, it was the other police officer who jumped him.
On Sark, there are at all times two police officers - a chief and a second (I forget their correct titles). They serve a short fixed term, one or two years, then the chief retires, the second becomes the chief, and JUST ABOUT ANY IDIOT WHO APPLIES can become the new second. This is how the island in the early 80s (just before I moved there) ended up with an a*****e chief who the islanders nicknamed "Robocop". He went around enforcing even the most obscure archaic laws with an unapologetic poker face for his entire term.
Incidentally, they do have a jail (or a gaol, I suppose) on Sark, though it is pretty much never used. I got to go inside and see it - it is a tiny stone box with a big ancient wooden door in the middle of a field, and there is one small cut window near the ceiling that allows a tiny amount of light in. It's terrifying.
This is becoming a bit tl;dr so I won't tell any more stories for now. Sark is a crazy place though!
I grew up in Sark! It is a very strange place to be sure, though many of those odd laws are of the forgotten, archaic, unobserved variety (like the ones you hear about that linger in many US states).
Sadly, it recently gave up its sovereign status and joined Britain. There are no longer any feudal governments in the empire.
"only the Seigneur of Sark is allowed to keep pigeons or an unspayed b***h"
Heck, I got 4 unspayed bitches. I got 3 more spayed bitches and a b***h I call Sally-sue McBitchens. I OWN you Seigneur of Sark.
Yeah, I immediately thought of that Family Guy ep when it got to the Molassia part.
...Didn't Family Guy parody Molassia when Peter made Petoria?
So you're trying to tell me my country just sprouted a new island whose name spookily resembles the word "toaster" backwards? If it weren't for the name I'd totally believe you cos I've got no idea how many islands we have.
This is all lots of fun, but there is a difference between actual, legal microstates/micro-entities like Sark, and silly "let's tell the chorus girl I'm a King so I can boink her" fake microstates. The real ones are funny enough, and deserve their own article. The faux ones are funnier still. Just pointing out the difference.
I'm still pursuing my case against the TV show called Lazy Town, as that's the name of my country.
you forgot prince leonard in australia
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I'm amazed nobody thought to add in Pitcairn Is.
So much child molestation, such little land mass...