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The 10 Most Insane Moments from the European Version of 'American Idol'
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Ah, Eurovision. Is there a more ridiculous display of unintentional hilarity in the world? It's doubtful. In case you don't know what Eurovision is, imagine a competition like American Idol in which each European nation picks an artist to represent it, but instead of kids doing cover songs, it's professional bands doing original songs. Also, the songs are mind-numbingly awful. Of course, it's not all funny. Just 98 percent of it is. That's why it wasn't easy to compile this list of the 10 funniest performances of the 2007 Eurovision finals. #10
Ireland - "They Can't
Stop the Spring"
Ireland came in last place in this year's Eurovision, and... well, it's pretty easy to see why. You've got a warbling lead singer who can't even sway (not to mention sing), a walking cliché of a band straight out of the Ireland pavilion at Epcot Center, and a song that's not even worthy of the end credits in Lord of the Rings. Plus, aren't Irish songs all about hoisting a pint and waving it left and right? "They Can't Stop the Spring" sounds like a lyric stolen from a failed C+C Music Factory song. #9
Romania - "Liubi,
Liubi, I Love You"
Romania's entry is a potent reminder of why you should never watch children's television while tweaked out of your mind on acid. Several weird-looking dudes sing "I love you" in different, possibly make-believe languages while a bald jester guy stands off to the side pondering, a Gregory Hines look-alike does some sort of awkward hip-hop thing, and a chef/mime walks around aimlessly. Faster and faster, suckier and suckier, it's like some awful hallucination scene from a Hunter S. Thompson novel. #8
Sweden - "The Worrying
Kind"
Whoa, that intro does not prepare the audience for what's to come, does it? Everything starts off promisingly enough, with pyrotechnics and what sounds vaguely like rock, but then things quickly devolve into some sort of glam boogie-woogie nightmare that would make Freddie Mercury and Elton John blush. And does the lead singer really need to take his shirt off to reveal his weird metal chestpatch? It's like he's wearing the opposite of Janet Jackson's nip-slip Super Bowl outfit. And how about those lyrics: "Words, I like to break 'em / Words, I like to shake 'em." Sweden: stick to death metal. #7
Slovenia - "Flower
of the South"
We're almost positive this song was in Castlevania; although this must be the techno remix. These misguided Slovenians probably chose a Nintendo song since the country is 20 years behind the rest of the world-it's probably new to them. What else would explain the ghetto surprise special effects: Christmas lights strapped to the lead singer's hand? At least she was able to work the extension cord into her outfit. #6
Serbia - "Molitva"
So here's the Serbs' winner. Yep, out of all the entries, this was supposedly the "best" one. Let's put aside the fact that the Death Cab for Cutie guy was called in as a ringer and focus on the important stuff, like what exactly are the backup transvestite pageant winners doing for the first two minutes? Apparently in Serbia, sulking and awkward touching are considered "choreography." |
I know this has been said 100 times, but it's worth reiterating that eurovision is in no way the european version of American Idol. American Idol is the american version of Pop Idol. Eurovision is a contest where for the most part the WHOLE POINT is that from start to finish it's made up of really really bad entries. It's supposed to be funny. The entries are generally spectacular in widely varying ways. Also, Terry Wogan (the british commentator for it) is awesome.
Eurovision has been around for over 50 years, doesn't it make more sense to say that American Idol is the American version of Eurovision. I thought at first this was a collection of bad entries in the many European idols, like the Bulgarian Ken Lee.
erk
none of the videos are available.
sam uk
haha yeh euro vision...every year our commentator (same one)on eurovision just seems more suicidal everytime he has to do it. i just plain cant watch it.
Kris
Anon before you post s**t watch the video. The show happend in Helsinki, and the singer said those exact words. The writer did not imply that Helsinki was in Switzerland.
Tool
Anon
>>Vampires Are Alive in Helsinki
WTF Switzerland? Helsinki is in Finland, you ignorant colonist!
sviii
shut up. eurovision kicks american ass
Nufc1989
to be fair nobody actually takes the eurovision seriously, which is why we have the innuendo filled flying the flag for you, however this isn't the European Version of American Idol, and considering American Idol is based on a British show Pop Idol i'd be careful saying that
gemineye870530
Z.U. made a very good comment. it's like they are egyptian with all the gold and clown esque floppy pants with 70's converse shoes, or alligator skinned with a pointy toe. i mean honestly, i'm a hiphop producer (i'm not lying. what would be the point?) and i could still say we look really whacky. just look at yourselves. at least things are starting to change for the better, i.e. the whole mafia look thing. at least it's classy. (for a very classless type of music)
Dito to what NIN said. It's not like some Swed is going to visit Georgia so he can know what he's talking about when he blatantly insults right-leaning Americans (not that I'm one, I just don't like double standards in bigotry).
Trish
Start putting videos from places other than YouTube you f*****g idiots, they're all deleted now. Try Megavideo
NIN
just because we have the right to say whatever we want doesn't mean we should. all you guys do is whine about how we're ethnocentric and all but when it gets down to it this is a comedy article meant for laughs and it shouldn't be taken so seriously.
ARE YOU KIDDING??? Serbia had the best song of them all, and much better than the crap that gets repeated on the radio and makes me go nuts 24/7! you have no tase, you asshat
Ammie
I agree with you, Z.U.! That's exactly what I was thinking. Although, an amazing song in 2007 came out of Bulgaria, in my opinion. Also, the comments on Molitva concerned only the choreography, and not the actual song, which was very very good.
Z.U.
I think your comments, although funny, show how obsviousy out of touch America is with the rest of the world. Do you guys really think that everything, incuding music, should be according to your standards? I'm not a fan of Eurovision, or pop music in general, so this is not about defending them. But seriously, you make some of the pretty average (for Europeans) things sound like they are out of this world. Did you ever think about how people who are not familiar with, say, hip hop culture (if there are such people left someplace) would see American rappers? They are frigging ridiculous, at least apperance-wise.
Tara
I love the Eurovision so much it hurts sometimes...You've missed out by only picking entries from one year though. The 1998 Eurovision was won by a transexual from Israel. And Lordi, the Finnish equivalent of Gwar won in 2006. They're so popular in Finland that you can buy Lordi cola.
Da swed
This contest lost it's dignity when it became show nad frankly most sweds blame eastern europ for some reason...
Discordany
I cant actually picture the bald guy from the French video standing over my bed long enough to be horrified; mainly because I'm having difficulties imagining him standing still.
Cherry Vanilla
Wow.This really makes me proud to be Ukranian. Those shiny mahfuckahs danced their asses off. Tansevat horosho!
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tunfiskur
Usually I love your lists, but this one shows how out of touch the USA is with the rest of the world.
Eurovision is much older than American Idol and was created to support peace in Europe.
Although now it is a mockery, the songs aren't very good and it's pretty much split in the eastern-europe mafia and the western-europe mafia.
Also, you missed some really weird songs there. What about that Irish turkey? I was sure he would make the list. Or Silvia Night, who was booed of stage because people didn't realize it was a joke.