The 20 Most Bizarre Celebrity Baby Names

Apparently, some celebrities just don't get enough damn attention, so they name their kids something really dumb to stand out. Here are some of the weirdest.

Child Of: Nicolas Cage

Fun Fact No. 1: Nic Cage likes comics.
Fun Fact No. 2: Nic changed his last name from Coppola to Cage in honor of Marvel character Luke Cage.
Fun Fact No. 3: He named his kid Kal-El after Superman.
Fun Fact No. 4: Why didn't he name his fucking kid Luke?

Child Of: Jason Lee

Jason Lee is a pretty funny dude. Maybe, you've seen a Kevin Smith movie or the first season of My Name Is Earl. Maybe, sometimes he should stop trying to be so goddamned funny, like when he named his kid "Pilot."

Why "Pilot?" Because he heard a song by the band Grandaddy (called "He's Simple, He's Dumb, He's the Pilot"). If the man had just waited for eight more tracks on the same album he could have named him E. Knievel Interlude which is equally ridiculous, but in a far more badass way.

Child Of: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates

The Irish singer and songwriter Geldof named his daughter Fifi after his aunt, and his wife was fascinated with the lifestyles of southern belles, hence the last part. But Trixi?

God knows where that came from. Maybe, they just decided to throw in as many dog names as they could.

Child Of: Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris "You Know How I Know You're Gay? You Like Coldplay" Martin

At first, we assumed the naming process went a little bit like that time Newton invented gravity. You know, he was eating an apple or some shit. Fuck, we never paid attention in History. Anyway, Gwyneth explained the name on an episode of Oprah back in August of 2004. Her exact words were:

"Right, well, um, basically it was because when we were first pregnant, her daddy said, if it's, basically one day he just said if it's a girl I think her name should be Apple. And I just, it sounded so sweet, and it conjures such a lovely picture for me, you know apples are so sweet and they're wholesome, and it's biblical and it's just, they're so, and I just thought it sounded so lovely and ..."

Obviously, Gwyneth has no fucking clue why she named her kid Apple, either.

Child Of: Courteney Cox and David Arquette

According to Wikipedia, the most trusted source on the Internet, they were originally going to name the baby Courteney Cox Arquette, but this went against David's Jewish traditions, so they named it Coco after a nickname Courteney used to have. Courteney decided this was a good name after she decided she didn't want her daughter to ever get a spot on the Supreme Court.

Child Of: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni

We enjoy a whimsical play on words as much as the next website, and the Duchovnys apparently shared a hearty chuckle at the thought of being able to shout, "Hey, kid!" and secretly know it was spelled with a "Y." If you go that direction, why not take it all the way and go with "Phatass" or "Rhettard?" Both will stay funnier a lot longer than "Kyd."

Son Of: Sylvester Stallone

OK, we might let this one fly considering Moonblood is Sage's middle name. Plus, this is Sly Stallone, here. Let us take this opportunity to link to that John Rambo trailer yet again. What we're saying is the name probably had to have the word "blood" in it somewhere, and the kid's lucky he didn't wind up with Scream Stabblood.

Child Of: Steven Spielberg

Whenever we put this name into Google to find out why the fuck anyone would name their baby this, it just brought up the word "Destroy," which actually makes us feel a bit better about it.

Some old-school GI Joe fans have implied that Destry is merely the feminine version of Destro. We'll have to research that, but if true, it comes off here and goes right on the Most Awesome Baby Names list.

Adopted child Of: Angelina Jolie (and Brad Pitt)

Without any research, it's fairly obvious that Jolie named their adopted son after the Internet celebrity Maddox, probably after dismissing Gabe, Tycho and Lowtax.

Child Of: Bono

A pretentious baby name coming from a smug, pretentious fucker like Bono shouldn't be much of a surprise. The man does call himself Bono, after all. This is also the same person that bought a first-class plane ticket to transport his favorite hat to a concert location.

But really, "Memphis Eve?" Does that even make sense? "One more day until Memphis, kids!"