The 8 Most Terrifying Anti-Meth Ads: From the Blog

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For future reference, if someone at a party ever offers you meth, the ONLY proper response is to scream "NO," hit them in the face with a lamp, start running and never, ever stop.

Why? Because meth is the scariest fucking thing that's ever been unleashed on mankind. And, quite honestly, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS. All I know about it is that the state of Montana put together one of the most effective ad campaigns I’ve ever seen to convince me to fear it.

In order of the level of horror they impart, I proudly present the eight most Requiem for a Dream-like and a subtextual analysis of each.

8. "Friends"

Subtext: Taking meth destroys all sense of responsibility and will dissolve all meaningful friendships you currently enjoy.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth makes you an extremely cautious, alert driver.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If at the end, the shot widened to reveal that the girl's friends left her at a Shakey's Pizza.

7. "Boyfriend"

Subtext: If you take meth, you will sleep with faceless middle-aged men at the behest of your enterprising boyfriend.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: If you take meth, you'll get laid.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If instead of consoling his girlfriend with a stroke on the arm, the young man offered her the rest of a diet root beer he'd been drinking.

6. "Mother"

Subtext: If you take meth, you will hit your mother and then lie about it in a voice over.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: If you take meth, you'll dress in keen stonewashed jeans, a swell vest and have a trendy haircut.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the framed photographs at the beginning were pictures of greyhounds dressed in deerstalker caps and smoking pipes.

5. "Junkie Den"

Subtext: Smoking meth makes everyone around you turn into cruel pseudo-zombies.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Smoking meth makes you popular.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If there were a dog in the background humping everything.

4. "Jumped"

Subtext: Smoking meth is worse than getting killed with a cinder block.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth will give you a retrospective clarity on par with the wisest sages of our time.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the bullies were played by the bully from Teen Wolf.

3. "Laundromat"

Subtext: Taking meth will make you a violent madman, able to knock a large man out with a single punch and frighten small children by simply screaming at them.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth will make you TRAVEL THROUGH TIME.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If instead of crying, the baby giggled uncontrollably when screamed at.

2. "Everything Else"

Subtext: DON'T SMOKE METH! DON'T FUCKING DO IT! AAAAAAGHHHH!
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Today's meth dealers are refreshingly honest.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the dealer went on to introduce the girl to her meth apartment, meth swimming pool, meth toaster, meth part-time job at a Starbuck's, and meth night classes at a City College.

1. "Bathtub"

Subtext: If you take meth, MONSTERS WILL ATTACK YOU IN YOUR BATHROOM.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth means you never have to shower again.
Simple Addition That Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the person on the other end of the phone conversation were revealed to be a Southern Civil War General.

In case your pants are still dry, here's a link to a Youtube gallery that has the rest of the ads. The first person who can explain to me why this YouTube user has collected all of the Montana Anti-Drug ads wins a free hit of meth.

104 Comments

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Posted on 3/14/2008 5:34:39 PM

sessassde

Hello all. I am a flag-waving American citizen who somehow landed in the Middle East and I am looking for a way out. :( (its a long story with lots of sordid details: cheating spouse, dysfunctional inlaws, deceipt and underhandedness...it might make a very interesting movie). :) Anyway, hello to everyone and I look forward to sharing my international experiences with all of you in the coming months.

Posted on 2/5/2008 11:30:44 PM

Vile

I kind of don't even care that the ads are over the top. If they convince people to stay off of it, hell, it's more than worth it. Also, I'm from and still live in Montana. Yeah, like hell I'm going to touch it after watching these ads for years.

Posted on 2/4/2008 12:09:10 AM

Dredyn

Erick...you have no idea what you're talking about. Meth is not a drug you can control....it gets you addicted before you realize it. Only people who are addicts and haven't realized it yet think they can "control" the drug. Remember what you said here in a year when you're 30lbs lighter, haven't slept in 9 days and can't remember the last time you ate while you're picking at meth sores and your teeth feel wiggly.

Posted on 1/28/2008 5:32:41 AM

erick

lol this is so bs...Overexageration big time ive done 7 times before and i have an 85% avg. in school im not fucking addicted, the only thing stronger than a drug is your mind..the reason why people get like this is because they are fucking idiots and cant control themselves.(P.S dont do a drug if you cant control it)

Posted on 1/27/2008 3:37:17 PM

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Posted on 1/20/2008 11:16:38 PM

Sugarbaby

Those ads scared the hell out of me.

Posted on 1/19/2008 6:39:13 PM

NoDak

these Meth Heads all look like zombies because that is what a real complete meth head looks like. I'm talking about the guy that cares about nothing but meth, hasn't slept in over 7 days, has sucken in dark dark rings around eyes and it may just be me but it seems like there eye color turns to an empty dark black/grey. Not to mention the fact that people you have known all your life will look at you like they don't know you or are suspicious of you. Been there, have many friends into it. It is destroying small communities through-out the Mid-West. - Former North Dakotan

Posted on 1/19/2008 8:01:06 AM

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why the hell is korn playing in Everything? now is Korn your meth band? Lolz

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Posted on 1/17/2008 5:08:48 AM

Anonymous

I'd like to know why all the meth-heads look like zombies. My dad was on it for years and besides the occasional "go crazy and break things" episodes, he could function in normal society. I'm not saying it didn't ruin his life, but no one would have mistaken him for an extra on a horror movie. If you're going to make things up, give the meth-heads some machetes and chainsaws and shit.

Posted on 1/13/2008 3:14:32 PM

Ted

On one hand, these ads are ridiculous, but on the other hand you've clearly never seen the uniquely horrific powers of meth up close.

Posted on 1/8/2008 10:00:46 PM

Poindexterface

DISCLAIMER: I live in this wretched crystal-fuck-trailerpark of a state, but I gotta say...these ads are fucking ridiculous. First of all: I don't think this ad is on here, but theres one where a bunch of tweakers are trying to hook some young kid onto meth who says he's "only gonna try it this once"...first of all, no self-respecting, seriously addicted, seriously poor Montucky tweaker is gonna share his stash with anyone let alone a fucking Jr. High aged kid. Secondly, half of these kids in the meth commercials look like Evander Holyfield just kicked the shit out of them...honestly your average homespun tweaker looks more like somebody with a tragic case of acne who hasn't eaten in the last month or brushed their teeth in a lifetime. Not to lighten the subject, I've seen peoples' lives ruined and sometimes ended by this drug, but a lot of this campaign is such melodramatic hype it makes so many people who've ever been around the shit laugh their asses off...

Posted on 1/6/2008 12:08:21 AM

anon

I thought "Boyfriend" was the creepiest one by far

Posted on 1/2/2008 7:37:28 PM

Shannen

Xanax for you.

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The 8 Most Terrifying Anti-Meth Ads: From the Blog

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