5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

#4.

Neurotoxins

As seen in ...
The movie The Serpent and the Rainbow, the upcoming Resident Evil 5 video game.

What are they?
There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you'll be considered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.

The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called alkaloids) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform simple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.

How it can result in zombies:
"Can?" How about "does."

This stuff has happened in Haiti; that's where the word "zombie" comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Passage of Darkness and The Serpent and the Rainbow). Yes, the movie The Serpent and the Rainbow was based on this guy's actual science stuff. How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. We're hoping that part wasn't true.

What is definitely true is the story of Clairvius Narcisse. He was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. It turned out the local voodoo priests had been using naturally occurring chemicals to basically zombify people and putting them to work on the sugar plantations (no, really).

So, the next time you're pouring a little packet of sugar into your coffee, remember that it may have been handled by a zombie at some point.

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:
On the one hand, it's already fucking happened! So that earns it some street cred right off the bat. But, even if some evil genius intentionally distributed alkaloid toxins to a population to turn them into a shambling, mindless horde, there is no way to make these zombies aggressive or cannabalistic.

Yet.

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3533 Comments

YackitySmackity

Yeah, ever wonder exactly why people love cats so much?

This is why I only keep dogs, for the I Am Legend situation. And I have my Zombie Apocalypse kit/bunker ready. Buckshot to the Brain works every time.

Posted on 11/18/2008 10:41:35 PM

sstuhr

Scary Stuff

Posted on 11/18/2008 12:23:18 AM

sarah20xoxo

again im sorry if you could delete the first comment i posted and the link is www.humanearforsale.webs.com not .web.com (sorry)

Posted on 11/9/2008 7:28:00 PM

sorry the link didnt post. Human remains from zombie attack for sale at www.humanearforsale.web.com

Posted on 11/9/2008 7:22:16 PM

I have possible proof of a zombie attack. This was left at the scene of a zombie attack and is for sale... Human Remains from Zombie Attack

Posted on 11/9/2008 7:21:14 PM

BilBluesBaggins

Wow, Th3R0BM4n, that was . . . you shouldn't . . . okay, it's easier just to call you an a*****e. What is it with the Internet that makes people feel obligated to be insufferable jerks?

***
Eh, humans have had a good enough run already. Let the zombies come. We can go back to being nomads and herders, like we're supposed to, and let nature start over. With bees, probably, or maybe ants.

Posted on 11/6/2008 10:36:27 PM

Archaon6044

of course the simple answer is to just nuke the entire f*****g world now, and stop anything from happening. we've fucked up too much already. let's start again

Posted on 11/1/2008 2:46:33 PM

pundude

"Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think)"

LOL! 150 cases in human? how many people are in this world?

ill take my chances

Posted on 10/30/2008 6:21:58 AM

dalekiloveyou

First minute of Who's Nailin Paylin
www.TOKILLFOR.com

Posted on 10/29/2008 7:06:58 PM

Th3R0BM4n

@ravenlarue,

insurance with god?

kill yourself now

or we could wait until the "end times" and have a death-death match and ill take your zombifide f*****g bible thumping ass the f**k out!

suck ON it

Posted on 10/29/2008 3:35:49 PM

RavenLaRue

looks like everyone better watch as many zombie movies and read as many zombie books and learn from it not only does science back is up but the Bible backs this up too
looks like we are doomed
oh i already have plans for the when the end times come im good I got my insurance with God. what about you?

Posted on 10/28/2008 11:11:08 PM

fake_spambot

naked female news! on www.TOKILLFOR.com
hot. that's hot. boobies

Posted on 10/28/2008 10:38:20 PM

Yaraday

Zombies wont come from underground if you hide in a graveyard. They'd be 6 feet under solid dirt, and encased in a metal coffin. Only Chuck Norris as a zombie could get through that, but you're fucked anyway if you're dealing with a Chuck Norris zombie.

Posted on 10/28/2008 8:10:13 PM

tontdoch

There is a parasitic fungus called cordyceps. The known strains affect arthropods' nervous systems - when infect they cimb to the highest point they can then die. The fungus then fruits and spreads its spores to infect others. Not so much zombie behaviour but it does change the brain patterns. Ants are known to spot the infected and carry them as far from the nest as possible. Now, if there was a cordyceps strain that specialises in primates...

Posted on 10/28/2008 12:47:06 PM

MC95

"And Science has proven it." ha ha. Great article.

Posted on 10/28/2008 5:34:33 AM