CRACKED Profiles: Christina Pazsitzky
NAME |
Christina Pazsitzky
CURRENT BASE OF OPERATIONS |
Los Angeles
BUT I'M ORIGINALLY FROM |
The San Fernando Valley
YOU KNOW ME FROM |
MTV' Road Rules: Australia and the FX show Hitchhiker Chronicles, a hidden camera show where I picked up and interviewed actual, live hitchhikers. Which, for the most part was really fun"¦
"¦until I had to choke one of them! Here' what happened: Creepy stinky hitchhiker sits in my car and says, "You were on Road Rules. I've jerked off to you a million times." Then he lunges at me to kiss me. I choke him. The producers drag him out of my car. What I don't get is how he' too broke to own a car, yet can afford cable? Where the hell did he watch
Also look for me in the upcoming Jackass movie and TV the Movie, voicing a slutty cartoon stripper.
MY FIRST TIME ON STAGE |
June 2001, at the Comedy Store in LA. That day, I spent six minutes on stage and about five hours in the bathroom. I rushed through my crappy material just trying not to forget the jokes I'd over-rehearsed. I remember thinking, "How long will I feel this incompetent at stand up?" The correct answer: three years.
BEST GIG I EVER HAD |
I consider the worst gigs to be the best ones. If you can do well in really awful conditions, that' your best gig. Mine was in a dive bar in Lomita, CA. A woman sitting at the bar was punched in the face by a huge Samoan man. Blood was spurting out of her nose right as I was called on stage. It was awful. Dealing with the bloody-faced woman, calming people down, then eventually getting them to laugh was a huge victory. And yes, I got an escort to my car.
CROWD I'M MOST LIKELY TO BOMB IN FRONT OF |
Children. They're just not that bright.
CITY OR STATE THAT I'D MOST LIKE TO SEE WIPED OFF THE MAP |
I've always had contempt for Beverly Hills. Hopefully Andrew Lloyd Weber is skipping down Rodeo Drive when the wiping happens.
CURRENT CELEBRITY MASTURBATION FODDER |
Anthony Bourdain, John Goodman, Luke Wilson and Benicio Del Toro.
FOOD THAT TASTES THE WORST WHEN IT'S PUKED BACK UP |
Um, all of it"¦?
PERSONAL DREAM PROJECT |
Wes Anderson writes and directs something where I play a Kung Fu spy who assassinates bad guys, like Uma Thurman' character in Kill Bill. It' a murder comedy and all my friends get a part in the movie. Or a sketch show with all my dopey comedian friends doing stuff we think is really funny.
IF I WASN'T DOING COMEDY, I'D BE |
A lawyer. Like my mom always wanted.
FINE, I'LL ADMIT IT |
I think fat guys are hot. Not even joking.
A lot more on Christina can be found at http://www.theunphilosopher.com-|-theunphilosopher.com -- including nude photos! And you'd be crazy not to be her friend on http://www.myspace.com/christinacomedy-|-http://www.myspace.com/christinacomedy.
