6 Ways to Ruin a Perfectly Good Wedding
Are you so unhappy with your own lot in life that you can't be glad for those around you? Sure you are! And now that wedding season is officially upon us, you'll need some failsafe methods for ruining the special day of those morons who are always rubbing their goddamned happiness in your face. Well, look no further, emotional cripple-just take a page out of these pros' books.
#6.
Slap Your Wife in the Face
Look at all these people--laughing, dancing like mongoloids, enjoying themselves. Who the fuck do they think they are? And, why is your wife going along with all of this? She wants to spin, huh? Well, you'll send her for a fucking spin alright. Oh, and guess who couldn't spin fast enough: Miss Dancie Pants. Time for you-know-what... Okay, now let's get the spinning right this time. What? You don't want to dance anymore? Well, who's being a wet blanket now, crybaby? No, I will not calm down, Roger! Let go of me!
#5.
Talk About Your Alcoholic Uncle's Erectile Dysfunction
Nothing takes humorous banter among close friends too far better than bringing up serious medical issues. And if you need to further infuriate the lucky couple, make sure the horribly uncomfortable, morbidly cruel joking has absolutely nothing to do with them.
#4.
Who Needs Speeches When You Can Rap?
Some best men respond to their moment of truth by stammering uncontrollably, others use their nervous energy to propel them to great toasts, and still others rap Warren G songs in an insulting "Hey everybody look at me, I'm a white guy talking like a negro" voice. The only way this video could have been any more embarrassing is if the camera had panned over to show that the bride was black, and our rappin' groomsman was just trying to offer an authentic "welcome to the family sista'." Alas, she' just a white girl who looks appropriately ashamed of her new brother-in-law.
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#4 so painful to watch on the internet, i bet the people there were dying of awkwardity.
Reply#2 -- bonus if the bride was pregnant at the time!
ReplyWas.
you lost me at "perfectly good wedding" ...no such thing exists.
ReplyNothing wrong with #3, she's obviously a trained ballerina and it's a well choreographed and funny show they put up.
ReplyI think the guy in #5 had Tourrettes. It wasn't funny, just made me sad.
ReplyThis video blog, or lack thereof, is a preview of things to come.
Replyor there is the classic of staring at Pippi Mid-i mean your soon to be sister in laws arse
ReplyAll but the slapping video appear to have been removed from YouTube. One "by the user," one because "the user's account has been terminated," and one for "violating terms of service." Crap. Shoulda hit this article sooner.
ReplyBut you can still cash in by starting a pool on how long the last one lasts!
#3 - the bride and brides maids are both ballerinas, and part of it was her performing an impromptu swan lake performance, and then just got a little goofy and handsy. Those girls probably don't care if someone sees their underwear because they basically wear that for a living. I've seen the wedding party comment on the whole thing and they didn't find it a big deal until it went viral on the internet.
ReplyIt was the dying swan. Not many people have the flexibility for that one. I thought she was awesome and maybe a little drunk.
For #3, had the bridesmaid came out with the brides panties in her teeth, i'd believe it. Assuming the bride wore any. A lot don't. (not for sex but just to pee easier.
ReplyI don't understand number 2. Can anyone explain? Did they really have oral sex because that is just wrong. Its adultery.
ReplyWho knows? But I will say Im not surprised the brides maid didnt strip down completely nude and hump the piano judging from the way she was acting. No more booze for her. Or more....depending on your taste.
Um. Are you 92 and just stumble onto your grandson's computer?
God those videos made me feel embarrassed for those people...but I laugh at them all the same.
ReplyShame, by the time I get to most clips in these wonderful articles, their no longer up. Makes me wonder if the traffic generated from them is the cause.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesId take a WILD guess and say its due to the fact the article is 4 yrs old.
^shut the f**k up
^retarded asswipe
yeah i know your comments have no info, I swear women have homing devices that can lock onto enemy targets' hair. Every girl that entered that fight had an opener of two fists of hair.
Replywtf is that froim? sopmeone pulled some hair out? let's hear the backstory, or is it from a pic or tv or fictional text and is very fake and distant, surrounded by another thing that makes you fight in a not-tv way? what is the link and source, yet i already know it's the standard skool info (very standard enough decpetion to hide it), you know almost all of it, the rest is bulls**t with more syllables then born into kiuller
@aersix did you suffer a severe head injury before typing this?
Its true dchodges, we're born with the ability to latch on to some mane.
ReplyI swear women have homing devices that can lock onto enemy targets' hair. Every girl that entered that fight had an opener of two fists of hair.
ReplyNo 1 . . . . . . I really dont know what to say. As for no2 so much better than jerry springer
Replycan you assholes please find another site to litter. Fuck i'm so sick of this. you people are low-life pieces of shit and should be burned almost to death and then drowned. FUCK OFF
ReplyHey everyone look! A completely unwarranted, nonsensical, homicidal rant! I love those. Aren't psychopaths fun? Gosh I sure think so.
No, the last one was 99% not staged, I assure you that. It was a hungarian wedding as far as I'm concerned, because the priest was talking in hungarian at the beginning and there was this unmistakable hungarian folk music all along. The scrams and curses however weren't hungarian though, so it was maybe some half russian or something like that wedding. And yes, the bystanders was amused and not shocked seeing all this, this is comletly hungarian mentality. Sad but true, I should know, I'm hungarian btw...
ReplySure, because only non-Hungarians stage things for entertainment.
That last one was so staged! Number 2 was hilarious though!
Reply