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5 Kick-Ass Action Movies That Are Pure Propaganda

By Steve Clark September 25, 2007 2,214,260 views
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Kurtlar Vadisi Irak (Valley of the Wolves: Iraq)

The Plot
Necati Sasmaz IS Polat Alemdar, the badass leader of a badass Turkish Special Forces team. When American forces in Iraq arrest 11 Turkish soldiers (their own allies) and march them past the news cameras with bags over their heads, it's up to Alemdar and his team to restore their country's pride. When that doesn't work out so well, the increasingly angry Turks set their sights on the one man responsible for the entire Iraq War: Sam Marshall, some random goofball who holds no apparent rank or position and yet still controls the entire American army. Who the fuck is this guy?

The Message
Death to America.

That' pretty much it. These guys are definitely not Yankees fans. Since when is Turkey pissed off at us? And, don't try to tell us that it was that thing with the 11 guys with the bags over their heads (yeah, that actually happened) 'cause this obviously goes a little deeper than that. Jewish doctors stealing organs from Abu Ghraib detainees and mailing that shit out to Tel Aviv? Where the fuck did that come from?

On the bright side, these guys are just as strongly opposed to suicide bombings and video beheadings as they are against America. On the dark side, though, they actually blame America for engineering those suicide bombings and video beheadings. Shit.

Significant Quote
"Let me tell you what the difference between you and me is. You would not sacrifice 11 men. Meanwhile, you watch your country's fortune go to ruin. I would sacrifice 11,000 of my men if needed. You cannot abandon the 30 kids because of your feelings? I would kill every single one of them because of their feelings. I kill all who would ruin the peace. Unlike you, I am not here by coincidence. I am a peacekeeper assigned by God. A peacekeeper is God's child." -Sam William Marshall (Billy Zane)

Bonus Message
The Kurds are dimwitted thugs in league with the Americans.

We're sure that this has nothing to do with the campaign of ethnic cleansing that Turkey is running against the Kurds in their own country, though. It's probably just some wacky coincidence.

Yeah, but Do They Still Blow Some Shit Up?
We hate to say this, but yeah. They do a pretty damn good job of blowing shit up. And, we feel especially weird saying that the suicide bombing scene is particularly awesome. The big machine gun shoot-outs kick ass, too. Let's face it, this is a fucking jihad of awesome.



Out of all the f*****t comments I've ever heard, the statement about America having the best military in history IN ANY CAPACITY by granny69 ranks in the top 10. Ever hear of Ghengis Khan's Golden Horde? The Roman Legion ring any bells? How about Britain between, say... 1600-1900? Napoleon Bonaparte? I am an American and I am glad to be one, but I'm glad because I appreciate the advantages we have here instead of mindlessly believing we're the best country anywhere. But to be fair, every country has its share of dumbasses, America just has the largest number able to voice their dumbassery. Trust me, give every country on Earth the same freedom of personal expression that we have and you'll be shocked at what sort of mind-numbing levels of stupid crop up.

10/10/2009 9:13:10 AM
DarkIntent

Post Script.


Granny. Goodbye. and good f*****g riddance.

Zenshu. I agree. American media is s**t. You could get more truth if you wiped your ass with the Enquirer and tried to read it afterward.

Obviously, in my previous post, I am attempting to tell everyone in the world who thinks war is a good idea in general to CHILL THE f**k OUT. if we can all manage to realize that blowing each other to pieces will not make anybody particularly happy in the end, we might, and this is a stretch here, MIGHT be better off as a species.

8/28/2009 8:24:56 PM
hylandolycross

I think maybe we should stop talking about how horrible everything is and how stupid everyone is and how castly informed we are just because blah... f*****g... blah.

Perhaps the world would be a lot less harder to deal with if the vast majority of people in power didn't think to themselves

President of idiotic country: "Hm, seems another country doesn't like us. I have a f*****g awesome idea! Let's devastate each other's countries, blow s**t up unnecessarily, and tell everyone we're doing it in the name of god or patriotism while we're at it!"

Vice president of idiotic country: "THAT'S f*****g BRILLIANT."


Seriously. Everybody just needs to take a deep breath, sit down, and listen to a cat stevens record in its entirety and then rethink the whole committing acts against humanity thing. And for the record, america has done MORE than their share of being belligerent, selfish, violent assholes in the past. Just because we SEEM to be getting more peaceful now does not give us the power to act like a playground bully with a god complex.

Manifest Destiny was SO 19th century.

8/28/2009 8:14:20 PM
hylandolycross

zenshu; on the chance that you are not complete bullshit Thank You for defending freedom and democracy, I am forever in your debt. And that's a good call on journalists - the world is rife with stories of the duplicity of the members of the fourth estate and their duplicity.

8/28/2009 9:16:24 AM
sadisticon

sorry everybody. i guess i shouldn't talk about s**t i don't know about.. sorry

8/17/2009 6:02:24 PM
granny69

OK "dude" number one I am in the military and 98% of Iraq is NOT a city, just because we pulled out of the cities doesn't mean dick, just that now when we get fucked up we have to let the Iraqis handle everything with us just assiting them. Number 2 we have been in Afghanistan for just as long as we have been in Iraq. Don't think you know whats going on just because you watch the news because the American news media are a bunch of worthless assholes who never show you the truth of whats going on in the world. Trust me I know I have seen first hand what some reporter can do to a few words you say when he is nearby. They can and will misqote someone as saying that America sucks and terrorists arent that bad if they see the opprotunity to build some new tensions that they can make ratings happen off of. So do everyone a favor and go back to whatever it is you do when you aren't making an ass of yourself on the internet.

8/17/2009 3:36:33 PM
zenshu

watch the news dude. we're not still "pissing around in iraq" we've pulled our troops out of the cities and started the invasion of Afganistan. now maybe making fun of Turkey's name does make me seem dumb, so i'll cede that, but that movie really makes me mad, especially since the Taliban and Al Queda pose a threat to all countries in and near the middle east, and the Turks want to make the whole war seem like our fault, while that whole regions been swimming in blood for years.and honestly, what's wrong with loving your country? I've been to mexico and china, and neither has it as good as us, maybe i can't say we have the best country in the world, but i sure as hell can say i love it, and i would love to see all the people who dare to tear her down to die in fire. also that "typical uneducated American" crap. hey, you just made yourself look as bad as me, with your sweeping generalization

8/15/2009 11:16:51 PM
granny69

Turkey is Americas biggest ally in the middle east. Bush even denied that the Armeniens were genocided by Turkey lul so as not to offend Turkey. America has to suck turkeys c**k or else turkey will tell it to go f**k itself and have to gtfo Turkey.

Also clearly granny knows nothing about turkey since all he has to make fun of is its name. Typical uneducated American.

8/15/2009 8:03:59 PM
analord

happyheathen, I agree with you on most counts, but I think our spelling of Turkey is perfect legit. Many languages have different names for countries (Estados Unidos, for example).

Also, Vespucci didn't name the New World, it was applied by Martin Waldseemüller in one of his maps.

I agree with you on all other counts. f**k granny69.

8/15/2009 10:19:29 AM
StJimmy

granny. d*****t. Turkey actually likes us. But don't worry, keep spewing ignorant comments and I'm sure they'll hate us too before too long. Now lets address specific elements of you're idiotic message

"hey. america rules." Have you been to every other country in the world? No? Then how can you say we're the best?

"f**k turkey," I'm sure you do

"their country's named after a god damn bird that's so stupid it drowns when it f*****g rains cuz it doesn't know not to stare up" First, Turkey is our misspelling of the country's name which is actually properly spelled Turkiye which is a combination of two words Turk meaning strong and iye roughly meaning related to, and besides if you want to talk s**t about how countries are named, America is named after Amerigo Vespucci, a cartographer. The guy who makes the maps and, therefore, puts the names on countries if there isn't already one there. So some guy decided to put his own name on a map, and it stuck.

"and also, who the f**k cares if the whole world hates us?" Non douchebags care
"we run the f*****g global economy," We can't even run our own economy without f*****g it up
"and we have the most powerful military ever in history" and that makes everything we do okay?
"so s**t on those turk douches who say that we fun terrorists and a*****e crap like that." It's just a f*****g movie claiming that we do that
"we'll drive those 9/11ing cocksuckers into the ground, and we won't take no damn lip from turkey while we're doing it" Not while we're wasting time pissing around Iraq we won't.
Oh and a side note, go f**k yourself.

8/13/2009 7:19:29 PM
happyheathen

hey. america rules. f**k turkey, their country's named after a god damn bird that's so stupid it drowns when it f*****g rains cuz it doesn't know not to stare up. and also, who the f**k cares if the whole world hates us? we run the f*****g global economy, and we have the most powerful military ever in history. so s**t on those turk douches who say that we fun terrorists and a*****e crap like that. we'll drive those 9/11ing cocksuckers into the ground, and we won't take no damn lip from turkey while we're doing it

8/13/2009 1:57:01 PM
granny69

Oh, um, not to carry political debate here, but for all the bad blood and violence that goes on, there is no ethnic cleansing in Turkey. Military conflict and loss of innocent lives, yes, but not ethnic cleansing.

8/12/2009 1:28:29 PM
i2d2

Oh God, the number 1 spot cracked me up! I just expected to see an American movie.

Turkey's pissed at the US because they back the Kurdish government in North Iraq -who are very much in league with the Kurdish terrorists that Turkey is fighting. And Turks are really pissed at that arrest incident. Although they are allied. It's very much love-hate, really. The movie deserves the pure propaganda title to the utmost. It's the special meathead patriotism of the Valley of the Wolves franchise, with conspiring Americans and evil Jews and patriotic vigilantes of very questionable actions.

Other propaganda points include: Totally pointless (except to harvest organs) massacre and abduction of a whole wedding party by US soldiers, Abu Gharib reenactments that tie to absolutely nothing in the movie, dialogues between the protagonists and the locals that imply that the Middle East would be the most peaceful place on Earth if the US did not sow strife.

And when I say meathead, I mean it. How did the heroes try to restore the pride of the Turkish people? Plant explosives under an American owned hotel, have the guests evacuated, and threaten to blow it up if Sam did not wear a bag on his head and parade before the cameras. The wedgie-for-a-swirlie sense of honor aside, these guys are goddamn terrorists! Although they at least let the civilians go.

8/12/2009 1:26:35 PM
i2d2

I was surprised not to see Independence Day, which was a movie that pandered to everyone from the NRA to Big Tobacco. I mean, I'm a *smoker* and that s**t was heavy-handed.

8/11/2009 2:58:30 PM
Teland

def0003, fortunately for us (and the rest of the world) our constitution wouldn't allow us to elect Presiden Bush again. It still depresses me that we reelected him once though.

8/3/2009 8:12:03 PM
psu42

def0003, while I agree with many of your sentiments, I believe you're over-simplifying American politics. The Iraq War was for stupider reasons that revenge, I assure you.

7/19/2009 11:40:37 AM
StJimmy

"since when is turkey pissed off at us". Well actually most of the world is pissed off at America, well at least the Red Neck south and your previous warmongering president. At least you didn't re- elect him so he could start a nuclear war with Iran. Attacking Iraq to finish he's daddy's buisness and to draw attention away from not being able to find osama bin laden. I do feel for the people on september 11 sad day for everyone. But maybe if America would firsty stop supplying arms to every other nation, and then going to war against them you might have a few less enemies. Stop meddling in other peoples business, YOU DO NOT RULE THE WORLD. Nobody gives a s**t about what america thinks, you've lost all credibility once you set up a prison outside of your own countries borders to allow for torture.

In summary to say that since when does Turkey hate America, since when do they not.

6/26/2009 1:39:31 AM
def0003

hey cracked, youre being an awful lot single minded lately.. wtf?
and i find it f****n peculiar that of your list of movies that are propaganda, none are the mainstream movies we pay to see everyday (example: the dark knight). why is it propaganda only if someone who isnt controlling the population does it?
our entertainment always points us to the direction of us realizing subconciously what needs to be done with the country. a month later a politician or a company announces they're doing just that. now apply cause-and-effect.

5/10/2009 9:48:49 AM
pretor92

Why is Rambo 3 missing from this list? It clearly shows Rambo helping the rebels who would go on to become the scourage of the west in real life, yes I am talking about the taliban.

3/31/2009 4:27:20 PM
Avalanche

The books by Stephen Hunter that center on Bob Lee Swagger are straight-up badass. They kill-fucked Point of Impact in its adaptation to Shooter. Check out Hunter's work and you won't be disappointed. Also, read anything you can about Carlos Hathcock, who is the most insane f*****g Marine sniper of all time. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Hathcock

3/29/2009 6:28:20 AM
mgbeach
Cracked stuff on