The Top 10 Secret Celebrity Scientologists
Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Jenna Elfman. Let's face it, we're not surprised when obviously unstable, closeted, or just plain untalented actors and actresses start blathering on about Xenu and cleansing their Engrams. Hollywood types can be pretty flaky. But while some of the famous faces of Scientology make sense, there are a surprising amount of celebs that honestly, we expected better from.
#10: JASON LEE: SCIENTOLOGIST
Best
Known For: My Name is Earl, every Kevin Smith movie
after Clerks.
Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: It breaks our hearts, honestly. Lee's a hilarious actor, and can deliver the driest one-liners around. He seems like a genuinely intelligent and funny guy. Hell, dude was a pro skateboarder. How cool is that? Knowing he thinks alien ghosts infected the planet with negative energy can't help but be a little disappointing coming from a guy who can execute a flawless nosegrind.
Connections: Lee's My Name is Earl and Mallrats co-star Ethan Suplee isn't just a Scientologist; he's also married to the sister of second-generation Scientologist/certified whack job Juliette Lewis, who starred in that awful "retarded people in love" movie The Other Sister with close friend and fellow Scientologist Giovani Ribisi.
Lewis and her father guest-starred on My Name is Earl in 2006, which must have made for a really fun day on the set for anyone who needed an E-meter reading.
Presumed Operating Thetan Level: One (is able to "audit" self, has knowledge of matter, energy, space and time above that of regular humans).
There's a Scientology building where I live that offers free personality test, I've always been tempted to go in there take the test then in the middle of it start speaking in tongues and writhing on the floor and yelling Help me Tom Cruise!
Reply#4 Says to me that all satire is futile and by extension all discourse...
ReplySo...
Bye.
"What's the deal with all these levels? Has anyone else noticed this?"
ReplyLOL! Actually, I'm rather surprised that Seinfeld has any sympathies with the Church of Scientology, considering that they made fun of it in the episode where they were lost in the parking garage.
Man, that's a depressing list.
ReplyEver read the stories from ex scientologists? And I mean the non-celebrity normal people they stick into s****y buildings and force into labour for little to no pay AKA the Sea Org. Add to that: no medical care(apart from bullshit vitamins), splitting up families(which are discouraged along with romantic relationships because they take away valuable human resources from the "church"), no education for the kids born into it, oh, and abusing the s**t out of people and slamming them with thousands of dollars of bills when they escape, the billion year contracts are a real thing.
ReplyThe celebrity side of things is just a way to attract potential members to enslave and bleed dry, because, like Jesuses, alien ghosts need lots and lots of money.
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ReplyStop with the religious persecution!!!
ReplyPretty sure I heard that same phrase said over the public address system at Jonestown.
Hey i love That 70s show
ReplyScientology is straight up bullshit just like any other mythology that's called religion.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesTrue, but at least the other mythologies weren't created by a hack sci-fi writer just a few decades ago.
And they don't tell people they're broken and need to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to get fixed.
Kris, that's not entirely accurate. Many religions besides Scientology do indeed imply that their members are "broken" (i.e., sinners who require salvation). Also, it is typical for a lot of churches to have members tithe a portion of their income to them (it may take many years to get up to hundreds of thousands of dollars, but still a similar concept).
...and WTF on eating the baby??? You got some definite hate issues there Miz Karla. (Now watch Karla rant at me for calling her out on her disgusting comment - Ready, set, go, Karla.)
ReplyWho cares what they believe in? They are funny and/or musically talented. BTW, I heard Seinfeld in an interview and he said that he did one course in Scientology. Howard Stern was baiting him to describe it and he said, "They made me walk through a green vat of Jello..." obviously showing that all the hub bub about Scientology is just that. Who cares what they believe in? Hate is hate, people. Chill your jets and go watch another episode of "Earl"...and laugh.
ReplySorry...the whole time I was reading this I couldn't stop thinking about that song Aenema by Tool. Holy s***!
Replyarticle sponsored by a power company you can't make this stuff up people
ReplyI made this comment for two reasons, one being that their were 666 comments and when this is combined with Scientology it can actually make a gateway to the underworld. And space pirates.
ReplyAnd the more pressing matter - WE THE PEOPLE OF CRACKED NEED TO MAKE A RELIGION. We are the one place in the internet were high school diplomas meet wit meet lack of morals meet incredible laziness. Seriously, I'd tattoo a duck on my back to get a week off work. So what better way to combine our powers then with a cult? A total bullshit "Did someone spike your drink" cult.Imagine living your whole live doing shit-all. Now Imagine that while in a jacuzzi.I can tell theirs a smirk on you face. No one can resist getting blown by expensive hookers in a jacuzzi.
This will be our bases - having sex and killing zombies.
Think about it, who can't resist sex? The same people who can't browse the web for more then 20 minutes without getting sucked into the vortex that is PornHub. Men. Who can't resist Torturing a creature just to watch it squeal? The same people who can have a fight over nothing. Women. "Why can't you just put the miracle whip back in the fridge after making a sandwich?" "You know what I'll tell you why, It's because your stupid like your father!" Evil.
That guy from that 70's show ruined Cybill though, the cunt! He is honestly the only character I look back on as irredeemably terrible in that show! Even the ginger daughter pulled some funny out now and then! Ugh!
Reply"According to Remini, she was the first person to have seen Suri Cruise in person, even though she's never been known to be on even "nodding acquaintance" terms with Tom or Katie."
ReplyThat's just not true..not even close to true, there have been reports and pictures of leah remini hanging out with katie holmes, and tom cruise, since before they were even married. (I admit it, sometimes I read US magazine) but anyway I wanted to check up on that before I commented on it..so I googled leah remini with katie holmes. Guess what, there and plenty of pics of them together, and reports of them leaving restaurants after dining together...I love crackedand I'm not trying to put anyone down, but it took me all of ten seconds to find out if what was said was true or not. So I hope before saying something like that and trying to make Leah Remini look like a weirdo, the author at least googles it next time.
Jerry Sienfeld is Jewish.
ReplyMan, having to pay to increase your level?
ReplySounds like some sort of s****y videogame looking to take suckers' money. Except at least you have something to show for it when you pay for stuff in a game...
Im not saying that the religion is stupid (it is but im not saying it) but for a while the catholic church let you pay a large sum of money to get out of purgatory praying on peoples fear of death for monetary gain. the idea of taking advantage of people like that has been around for a long time
More like a s****y sci-fi novel, which is basically what it is.
NOT LENNY!
ReplyScientology brought lulz and then cancer to the internets.
Replyebaumsworld ftw