This is a Test Article
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battle field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will
little note, nor long remember, what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.








God bless America.
ReplyTest just hasn't be the same since the accident. You can hear the sadness in his writing.
ReplyDamn you Jack Nickolson!
ReplyI find this difficult to masturbate to.
ReplyOnce again, Test proves what a crappy writer he is. I bet all of his rabid fans will come try to shoot me down, but even they must realize by now that Test is just a plain horrible writer. No fact-checking, no humor, no worth. Fire his ass.
ReplyTest passed away several years ago, so firing him may prove difficult at best.
Don't you feel like a horrible bastard of a person now?
Behold, the first cracked article written by abraham lincoln, hopefully the first of many
ReplyThis is the most stylistically interesting prose I've seen from Test; definitely my favorite Cracked writer. I thought the article not only hilarious but informative, though I'm pretty sure some of those facts were a little off! The most recent information I've read doesn't quite agree. Maybe you should edit these articles a bit, lots of spelling and grammar mistakes. But still, great article, very enjoyable!
ReplyThis is the funniest article I've seen in a while. Thanks for renewing my faith in Cracked, Test. I especially loved the "fourscore" part- great subversion of the "foursquare" phenomenon!
ReplyI think Test's writing was better during his first year.
ReplyI will apparently click on anything with a picture of a horse.
Reply...apparently so will I!
This article is an epiphany. I am awake.
ReplyWhat just happened here?
ReplyI'm sorry, but you flunked the test. You get an F.
ReplySo... did it work?
ReplyI thought the self defense ad was part of the article D:
ReplyI clicked this purely because of the picture of the pony
Replyme = no shame (ftw!)
Shiny Horse? Is that you? It's been forever! Still looking fabulously wild and majestic in that meadow. Smooches!
ReplyThis comment killed me
IT'S A TARP!!!!!!!!!
ReplyHang on... this was at the bottom of an article on how f*****g stupid comments are.
ReplyNope, not falling for your trap.
Clearly, this is a trap. We'd better not comment.
tl;dr
Reply