Vote for Waldemar Pawlak Because He Can Pretend to Hang Glide

So a quick summary of that video: A man paraglides onto someone's front lawn (probably not his own) ...

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... and takes off his helmet ...

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... to reveal that he's Deputy Prime Minister of Poland Waldemar Pawlak, and ... that's it. Nothing about his policies or campaign, just "Vote for me because you just watched me successfully land a hang glider in ideal weather conditions."

Clearly, it's not even him in the video until that final moment when you actually see his face. So taking that into account, the message of this video is "Vote for Waldemar Pawlak because he thinks hang gliding looks like a lot of fun, too."

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

It's not going to earn him a spot in any history books, but he makes a convincing case nonetheless. After all, it's not like we can land a hang glider either, and we didn't even think to mock up a video to make it look like we could.

But Waldemar Pawlak sure did. That's the kind of leadership that wins elections.

Literally Just a Striptease

Just like the title implies, what's posted above is a video of a woman doing a striptease. It also doubles as a campaign video. Apparently, the goal was "to draw the attention of the media." Boobs definitely do that, although she technically doesn't get naked in this tease of a campaign spot. Instead, a big "CENSORED" logo pops up just as we're getting to the good bits.

CENSORED

The text at the end translates to "You want more? Vote SLD!" You might recognize this as the exact blueprint for every GoDaddy.com ad ever made.

Lukasz Wabnic Will Beat Up Perverts, Turn Down Sex

Three terrifyingly rapey Polish men assault a busty young Polish woman before the heroic Lukasz Wabnic intervenes by beating the shit out of them.

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

Not, like, a metaphorical beating or anything. Just straight-up wailing on dudes.

'LIO

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

The lady expresses her gratitude by showing Wabnic her breasts ...

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... but he's totally not interested at all. He's about to leave when he suddenly turns back and says, "Well, you could vote for me instead." That's it, the end, vote for chaste rapist-stomper Lukasz Wabnic today.

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... or else.

Tadeusz Aziewicz Will Slap You With Fish

In this video, three teenagers do nothing for 10 seconds, then each get hit with a fish. This is literally the entire ad.

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

This may seem insane, but there's a rational explanation. You see, in Polish, "follow us" translates to "sledz nas," but "sledz" by itself means "herring." So it's, uh, a visual pun on the fact that, uh, fish ...

... yeah, never mind, it's just garden-variety insane.

Monika Paca Will Win This Political Race, Become Leader of the Gnomes

So here's an animated video that likens the political race to an actual footrace, which starts weird and never lets up. Here we see the other contestants ...

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... a centurion, an adorable-critter-carrying man, a juggler and a soccer player. Over the course of the video, all of them get taken out of the race ...

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... by clumsiness, tiredness, getting bored and leaving to play soccer, and clumsiness again. The remaining runner (presumably Monika Paca) goes on to win by default, which is a strange metaphor to make ("Vote Monika Paca, because everyone else is literally too incompetent to run a campaign"), although it's immediately overshadowed when Monika is made Gnome Queen:

Kormniett Wyboeczy SLD lista 3 Soluns Leicy akeuteanas mieisce 9 zieloni 2004 3/9 A EDUKACIA KULTURA IN PRAWA VITRO MLODZIE> ROLNICTWO EKOLOGIA ENERGI

In case you think that this is just some sort of bizarre joke Flash animation, here's a video of Monika Paca re-enacting the video in real life, complete with attractive Polish women in silly hats replacing the gnomes, because of course they do.

PSL Pulls a Sexy Bait-and-Switch

In this video, an attractive young couple lie in a grassy field. The guy makes a suggestive remark to the girl, and then they run toward the barn, pulling off their clothes as they go.

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

We hear a few moans of ecstatic bliss before it's revealed that ... they're actually playing tennis!

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

So obviously you're gonna want to vote PSL after seeing that.

The Apocalypse Is Literally Happening Now -- Vote Jacek Pajak

This ad was actually made in 2010. We're going to talk about it anyway. Drop your complaints in the box on your way out.

Anyway, in this video, the apocalypse is nigh upon us, but it's a crazy sci-fi Armageddon. Behold:

- Swiat ogarnely niezrozumiate: zjawiska. a wokot zapanowal chaos

As you can see, people are disappearing (turning invisible?) ...

uL Swiat ogarnely niezrozumiale zjawiska. a wokol zapanowat chaos

... getting their souls sucked out ...

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... and/or exploding (there are a lot of explosions in this video):

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

Jacek Pajak (which translates to "Pat Sajak" in English) is the one man who can stop this. Vote for him or get devoured by flesh-eating bacteria ...

The 7 Craziest Political Ads in the World (Are All Polish)

... it's that simple.

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