5 Bizarre Dinosaurs You Didn't Know Existed
Admit it, everything you know about dinosaurs you learned from watching Jurassic Park. Or, possibly, you learned it while paying attention in school. That's never really been our scene, but to each their own.
But no matter what route you took, there's a good chance your education was less than adequate. If that wasn't the case, you'd already know about these ridiculous dinosaurs that history seems to have forgotten ...
Look, we're all adults here. We're just going to go ahead and say what we know is on everyone's mind ... that dinosaur looks really sad.
Oh, you thought we were going to mention the shiny red shaft and matching set of testicles that's taken up permanent residence on this absurd dinosaur's stupid head? Well that's immature, but it does probably explain the sadness.
To be fair, the dinosaur in this picture is actually a toy. It's not that these never existed, though. It's just that the balls usually seemed to be camouflaged a little bit better.
See? Those head-balls look downright stylish in that ensemble!
You know how people like to make fun of the T. rex because it has those stupid little arms that would be completely useless in a fistfight? Well, the Linhenykus was the dinosaur that the T. rex used to make fun of for having stupid-looking arms.
What the hell are those things? What did it do with them? We can't tell if they're the most useless arms or just the pointiest nipples in all of history.
Similar to Edward Dildohands above, the Ouranosaurus seems perfectly designed or evolved for a life of suffering. Doomed to a lifelong backache, not only were its arms too short to be four-legged, but it had a completely unnecessary wind sail preventing it from standing, too.
In addition, it was blessed with a duck's bill and unmoving "hitchhiker's thumbs" that were particularly good for absolutely nothing at all. Experts agree that most of the Ouranosauruses probably killed themselves millions of years before the meteor had a chance.
Also, not to beat a dead dinosaur, but doesn't that name kind of sound like "our anus saurus" when you say it really fast?
No, seriously, we're asking. Does it sound like that when it's pronounced correctly? Because that would be hilarious if it does.
If someone told you that a "Gigantoraptor" was headed in your direction, "the world's largest chicken" probably isn't the description that would pop into your head immediately. But this thing often grew to 16 feet or more and was (almost probably?) covered in feathers. And that far exceeds the height and feather requirements to warrant a nickname of that nature.
Science is still unsure of exactly what this beast ate, but we're assuming it survived on a diet of defenseless house pets and particularly svelte toddlers like any other gigantic bird would.
Speaking of dinosaurs that look like chickens, here's the Incisivosaurus. Like a hybrid gone wrong, the Incisivosaurus is what happens when you take all the worst parts of an ostrich, a velociraptor and Urkel and combine them into what is ultimately the most useless dinosaur of all time.
At least the chicken-raptor had some fierce claws. This turkey burger has hands that look like they just straight up face the wrong direction. It couldn't kill. It couldn't fly. We suspect its only defense was looking so stupid that the other dinosaurs felt sorry for it.
When not making fun of fossils, James writes on his Tumblr.