They say that the pen is mightier than the sword -- but we're going to go ahead and extend that to any instance when sarcasm works, its pure magic. Because the best way to shut someone down isn't by screaming or fighting -- it's by using biting wit to make them feel like a total douche canoe. A small, pathetic, unloved douche canoe.

You know, those barbs from which there there is no escape. They sting and stick to the prey, hard. It's poetry in motion, the kind of motion that crushes you like a grape and leaves you to think about it every night when you put your head on the pillow. 

In these digital times, there are just more ways than ever to clap back or settle a score that needs settling. And the thing is, those mic-drops never hit the ground - they're forever, not like those analog insults of old.

Here’s a collection of what we’re talking about…

Get the Cracked Daily Newsletter!

We've got your morning reading covered.


Forgot Password?