The 26 Weirdest Moral Panics Ever

Man, we sure panic over a lot of really dumb stuff.
The 26 Weirdest Moral Panics Ever

Get on the Internet and you'll see its denizens doing the one thing they thrive on: Raging out of control of the most insignificant things imaginable. Of course, there is some precedent to this. It's not as if freaking out over dumb stuff is restricted solely to the Internet.

To help illustrate this, we formed a mob with AuntieMeme to present to you the most ridiculous moral panics in the history of the universe.

Doctors in 1911 thought bicycles would turn women gay. It wasn't just the freedom afforded by bicycles, although that was also a thing. Doctors hotly
Greece banned computer games in 2002. The Greek government wanted to crack down on gambling machines, SO they dropped a blanket ban on playing video g
19th century Brits thought riding trains would suffocate people. 3 The proposed locomotives moved in excess of 20 miles an hour, speeds naysayers were
Russia thinks emo will bring about its downfall. Apparently wearing black clothes and too much eyeliner encourages social withdrawal and feelings of h
Critics were sure that the sofa would lead to all kinds of sex. It was 1748, and up to that time, sitting furniture was pretty uncomfortable. One look
Moralists in the 17th century panicked over novels. 80000000000000000000000000000000 They reasoned that women, being somehow unable to distinguish bet
The Catholic Church opposed street lights. In 1831, Pope Gregory XVI even banned gas lighting in Papal states. The church argued that God very clearly
WWI Allied Commanders forbade troops from using parachutes. The commanders feared that parachutes would turn pilots into cowards, arguing that they'd
Dozens of court cases claim that wind turbines are making people sick. Plaintiffs claim that the turbines emit a low hum that causes vertigo, anxiety,
British censors deleted the Ninja from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. TEEMAGE MLITANTHERO TURTLES Britain's Protection of Minors Act forbade mentioning
When women started using the telephone to have conversations, men freaked out. In 1909, telephones started appearing in homes, and women started using
In 1324, the Pope banned music that had chords. Before that time, church music consisted of chants, which were sung in unison. The introduction of pol
In 2003, Oprah Winfrey caused parental panic over colored lipstick. According to a guest on her show, teens across the country were having rainbow pa
The New York Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children declared in 1909 that Movies would corrupt children. This new form of entertainment ha
BBC banned the song Monster Mash for being too morbid. Yep, the kooky 1962 Halloween ditty about classic movie monsters dancing was considered too s
In 1942, Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia siezed New York's pinball machines LaGuardia's goons brought in more than 000 on the first day, and newsreel crews f
Church elders blamed the lightning rod for the Massachusetts earthquake of 1755. Specifically, they claimed Ben Franklin's attempts to control the ar
Pp When the waltz was introduced, it was considered scandalously dirty. di So long- as this obscene display Was confined to prostitutes and adulteres
11th century reformers thought grammar was the tool of the devil. St. Peter Damian claimed that scholarship and philosophy were evil, adding that ThE
In 1999, the NSA banned Furbies. Furbies pick up sounds around them and parrot them back. The NSA was worried they'd overhear government secrets, so t
A Byzantine princess who useD fork a in the 11th century was considered blasphemous. St. Peter Damian snarked: Such was the luxury of her habits... s
In the 1500s, Pope Paul IV decided the marble statues at the Vatican were too naked, SO he had marble and plaster fig leaves added, to cover their pen
In the 1980s, religious groups claimed Dungeons and Dragons was satanic. At the front of the pack was Patricia Pulling, who formed a group called BADD
King Charles II banned coffeehouses. It was 1675, and Chuck the 2nd worried that people were meeting in coffeehouses to plan revolutions and stuff. Th
1954's Seduction of the Innocent warned that comic books were ruining America's youth. Author Fredic Werthem was a psychologist who blamed comic books

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