The Most Brutal Curse Tablets Ever Discovered
Mankind has always had a need to scream into the void.
![The Most Brutal Curse Tablets Ever Discovered](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/5/1/741751_320x180.jpg?v=1)
As we've pointed out before, ancient people were just as messed up as we are. Instead of Twitter, they had curse tablets: ancient shitposters would lay out a petty grievance, suggest a gruesome punishment, then toss it in a pit with a bunch of other complaints.
Someone stole your boots? Curse tablet. Mad at your neighbor? Curse tablet! A little worked up? You know that's a curse tablet!
They were generally scrawled on a sheet of soft metal, but we wanted to give them the carved-in-stone treatment, as befits such timeless rage. Here are real quotes from the most brutal curse tablets ever chiseled:
![Crush, kill Fistus the senator, May Fistus dilute, languish, sink and may all his limbs dissolve, Sorry, you didn't say Simon Says. a BO dirs w YA P](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/4/1/741741.jpg?v=1)
![Gaia, Hermes, Gods of the Underworld, receive Venusta, slave of Rufus, That's ancient Greek for go to hell, Venusta! NOAAS Pofey AN Itias DToto GOFK](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/4/7/741747.jpg?v=1)
![May he who carried off Vilbia from me become as liguid as water, Vilbia is either his girlfriend or a pointed tool. The water thing definitely refer](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/3/5/741735.jpg?v=1)
![I curse Tretia Maria and her life and mind and memory and liver and lungs mixed UP together, and her words, thoughts, and memorys thus may she be unab](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/4/8/741748.jpg?v=1)
![Biccus gives Mercury whatever he has lost that the thief may not urinate mor defecate nor speak nor sleep MOr stay awake nor have well-being or health](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/4/3/741743.jpg?v=1)
![Lady Nemesis, I give thee a cloak and a pair of boots; let him who wore them not redeem them except with his life and blood, ...or with proof of purch](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/3/8/741738.jpg?v=1)
![Tacita, hereby accursed, is labelled old liKe putrid gorer Nice try, but Tacita doesn't believe in labels. 0 Vol atiediiixs -1-4.1AD CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/3/6/741736.jpg?v=1)
![May your penis hurt when you make love, If it doesn't already hurt... then you're doin' it wrong. CRACKEDCON](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/4/6/741746.jpg?v=1)
![Join belly to belly, thigh to thigh, black to black, Bring her thigh close to his, her genitals close to his in unending intercourse for all the time](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/7/4/2/741742.jpg?v=1)