13 Brain-Scrambling Bits Of Trivia Every Bit As Confounding As Gazing Upon The Horrible Visage Of The Dark Lord Cthulhu

Nicolas Cage declared he doesn't need the MCU.

Authors: By Andrea Meno, JhallComics
Published: March 29, 2023
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Catholic League Notices No One Canceling Comedians Over Priest Jokes

Can you get canceled calling out priests for actual crimes?

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Adam Carolla Is No Longer Bothering to Write Jokes

Did you hear the one about the comic who just chugged a beer and winged it?

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Why Does Jennifer Aniston Want ‘Friends’ to Be Canceled?

"You can’t joke about anything nowadays!’ says the star of a show about twenty-somethings drinking coffee

Authors: By Keegan Kelly
Published: March 29, 2023
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Patton Oswalt Gives Invaluable Advice in His ‘Dear Prudence’ Column

The comedian/actor/comic book writer took on conflict resolution for his next venture

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Published: March 29, 2023
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Origin Stories That Are Over-The-Top Dark (For No Reason)

By:: Cracked Plasticians

October 28, 2019

Origin Stories That Are Over-The-Top Dark (For No Reason)

Cracked pays people to make smart memes. Visit the Photoplasty and Pictofacts Workshop to get in on it.

Creative types love to craft deep, loving histories for their characters. The wikis are literally full of them. But sometimes those back stories are inexplicably, unnecessarily dark. And it's not just the tortured vigilante types. Sometimes well-known, seemingly well-adjusted characters have stupidly dark origin stories.

For example:

24 Entry by PookieJones

Rocket Raccoon's comment about unethical experiments on animals makes more sense if you read the comics. Guardians of the Galaxy His ancestors were ba

23 Entry by Karen Jones

MADMAX COMA FURY ROAD te DOOF WaRRTOR was discovered in a cave with his murdered mother's severed head as his only company. Now he pays respect to her

22 Entry by María Andrea Fernández

You may remember The Chipettes as the adorable female counterparts of ALVIN AND THECHIPMUNKS Did you know they grew p in an orphanage? They were abuse

21 Entry by Markos Hasiotis

The story of how Remus Lupin became a werewolf is even more horrifying than we thought. Lupin was four years old and asleep when the werewolf broke in

20 Entry by ShortUsername01

19 Entry by Markos Hasiotis

okeMoy When Jessie was little, her mother disappeared and she was put into a foster home. Jessie was sometimes forced to eat snow because the foster h

18 Entry by Joshua Yapcengco

Gorillaz drummer Russel Hobbs was the sole survivor of a drive-by shooting. ! His friends that were killed possessed his body, gave him extraordinary

17 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

Huey, Dewey, and Louie are pretty much abandoned by their mother Della Duck. The reason? Their dad is admitted to the hospital after getting injured i

16 Entry by Julio Espericueta

CRACKEDCON Goku When Goku was a little boy, he accidentally killed his adoptive grandfather Gohan, leaving him to take care of himself.

15 Entry by Andrea Meno

Remember the castle tower that Shrek rescued Fiona from? She was locked in there on Christmas Eve when she was 7, and spent the next 20 years inside.

14 Entry by Joshua Yapcengco

CRACKED cO COM PETER RABBIT Peter's Dad was baked into a pie by Mrs. McGregor.

13 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

According to various collectible Sunken Scrolls found in Splatoon's maps, the game is set in a post-apocalyptic world where humans have gone extinct d

12 Entry by Markos Hasiotis

DK When Donkey Kong was a baby, he was kidnapped from his home by evil villains.

11 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

BABAR As a child, the Elephant King witnesses his mother get shot to death by a hunter. CRACKEDCON

10 Entry by PollyDarton

CRACKED COM BOOOK ROCK Frank Rossitano is a middle-aged writer for TGS, who has a lot of classic man-child qualities. This is mostly played for laug

9 Entry by Scott Laffey

Rogue's abilities of durability, flight, and super strength were stolen... from Carol Danvers. A young Rogue helped Mystique ambush Danvers, aka Ms. M

8 Entry by Markos Hasiotis

CRICL According to an official book... Jake Blues was Elwood Blues the son of a was abandoned woman in prison at a newspaper for murdering stand. her

7 Entry by Andrea Meno

J. Jonah Jameson grew up with his stepfather, who abused his mother and him all the time. He was a war veteran and decorated officer, and nobody suspe

6 Entry by Chan Teik Onn

It's no surprise that Yamask is a ghost Pokemon. But take a look at the Pokedex and you'll realize that it's a human ghost. And the mask it's carrying

5 Entry by Martha Yvonne

AIR BUD Before becoming the star player of a middle school basketball team, Buddy was owned by an abusive party clown named Norm Snively. WMOLW KG In

4 Entry by Lornie Aswila Jeffrey Lausin

Furiosa was stolen from the 'Green Place and traded to Immortan Joe to be one of his wives (read: breeder). MAD, MAX FLIRYRDAD Joe found out she was

3 Entry by Kristina Yong

CRACKED COM Before getting superpowers and living on Earth, SILVER SURFER lost both his parents to suicide on his utopian home planet, Zenn-La. His mo

2 Entry by Andrea Meno

CRACKED COM In the Star Wars universe, raiders visit Endor to hunt Ewoks for their meat. One of the favorite dishes of the Outer Rim worlds is Ewok Je

1 Entry by PookieJones

Smurfette was created to be a honey pot to trap the smurfs. The recipe Gargamel used to bring her to life called for sugar and spice but nothing nice

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