Why I Was Late For Work Today: 22 (Photoshopped) Excuses

We've all been there. You wake up from a hard night of drinking, your room is covered in confetti, your nether regions in clown makeup and your bleating alarm clock says you're three hours late for work. Your mind races for a plausible excuse, but the first thing that comes to mind is so retarded you want to punch yourself in the white-makeup-caked genitals for even thinking of it.

Well what if you had the Photoshop skills and the balls to walk into your boss's office and give him photographic evidence of that first retarded excuse. We asked you to make that "what if" a reality. The winner is below, but first the runners-up...